HOME | DD

Description
I've never been good with comebacks and I know I promised I'll start posting art again quite some time ago but never did but.. this time I'm really back, I hope so at least.
I don't even know where to start but as you probably noticed, I haven't posted any art for a year. I've had my reasons, some better than the others and while I really wanted to be more active, it just didn't work out. I guess I should apologize for a long (and probably very messy) description in advance but there are some things I want to say, so here it goes.
Although I kept promising that I'll come back and that I won't stop drawing, I wasn't so sure about that. I won't go into many details here since I wrote a journal some time ago but long things short, I started university and it affected my mental health pretty badly. I still don't know what exactly broke me so much but as my mental health got worse, I also artblocked completely. This might seem like the least of a problem considering everything else that I've gone through but the thing is, art has been my coping mechanism and a means to calm down. So once that was gone, I felt like I couldn't function normally anymore. I wanted to draw so badly but at the same time just thinking of it made me so anxious that I couldn't get myself to do it. Now that I'm writing it it almost sounds stupid but not long ago, this stupid thing almost made me give up on everything. I needed to draw or at least do something else I enjoy to feel better but first I would have to feel better to even do anything and I felt like I could never break free from this cycle. It took a lot of willpower that I just didn't have up until recently and even now I still don't think I'm quite through this yet. It did get a lot better though, and I'm determined to stay like this.
So yeah, things haven't been too good for me while I was gone but even so, there have been good times that kept me going. Looking back, there have in fact been so many good things but I just kept crashing down all the time so I couldn't see that life was pretty good overall. Among other things I started running agility with Lia again, got a new camera, started making videos again, started sewing and selling dog collars and other stuff, made two cosplays and went to Sweden where I met the awesome CopiaTheWolf (check out her page if you haven't yet, she's an amazing artist and a person and I'm really happy to be her friend! ;w; ).
I'm really grateful for everyone who's stayed by my side all this time and there's one person in particular who is the reason why I didn't give up: my girlfriend, YumikoStarlight It's super late to introduce her now since we've been dating for almost a year already(and at this point I should also thank Kukkii-Gyunyuu ,for nagging me to confess haha) but either way, she's always been there for me and I honestly don't know where I would be right now if it wasn't for her. Sure, things got tough but she never gave up on me, not even when neither of us knew what to do anymore, and this means the world to me.
I guess I'm running out of things I wanted to say(finally!) soo..
Right now I'm drawing every day and hoping to stay on this track but since I haven't been drawing for so long I have no confidence at all so I don't think I can do any art trades or comissions for a while. I'll be focusing on personal art and trying new things so what I post might not always be on the same level or in the same style as my old art but if you stick around anyway I'd be very happy <3
This is all for now, see you soon!

Description
I've never been good with comebacks and I know I promised I'll start posting art again quite some time ago but never did but.. this time I'm really back, I hope so at least.
I don't even know where to start but as you probably noticed, I haven't posted any art for a year. I've had my reasons, some better than the others and while I really wanted to be more active, it just didn't work out. I guess I should apologize for a long (and probably very messy) description in advance but there are some things I want to say, so here it goes.
Although I kept promising that I'll come back and that I won't stop drawing, I wasn't so sure about that. I won't go into many details here since I wrote a journal some time ago but long things short, I started university and it affected my mental health pretty badly. I still don't know what exactly broke me so much but as my mental health got worse, I also artblocked completely. This might seem like the least of a problem considering everything else that I've gone through but the thing is, art has been my coping mechanism and a means to calm down. So once that was gone, I felt like I couldn't function normally anymore. I wanted to draw so badly but at the same time just thinking of it made me so anxious that I couldn't get myself to do it. Now that I'm writing it it almost sounds stupid but not long ago, this stupid thing almost made me give up on everything. I needed to draw or at least do something else I enjoy to feel better but first I would have to feel better to even do anything and I felt like I could never break free from this cycle. It took a lot of willpower that I just didn't have up until recently and even now I still don't think I'm quite through this yet. It did get a lot better though, and I'm determined to stay like this.
So yeah, things haven't been too good for me while I was gone but even so, there have been good times that kept me going. Looking back, there have in fact been so many good things but I just kept crashing down all the time so I couldn't see that life was pretty good overall. Among other things I started running agility with Lia again, got a new camera, started making videos again, started sewing and selling dog collars and other stuff, made two cosplays and went to Sweden where I met the awesome CopiaTheWolf (check out her page if you haven't yet, she's an amazing artist and a person and I'm really happy to be her friend! ;w; ).
I'm really grateful for everyone who's stayed by my side all this time and there's one person in particular who is the reason why I didn't give up: my girlfriend, YumikoStarlight It's super late to introduce her now since we've been dating for almost a year already(and at this point I should also thank Kukkii-Gyunyuu ,for nagging me to confess haha) but either way, she's always been there for me and I honestly don't know where I would be right now if it wasn't for her. Sure, things got tough but she never gave up on me, not even when neither of us knew what to do anymore, and this means the world to me.
I guess I'm running out of things I wanted to say(finally!) soo..
Right now I'm drawing every day and hoping to stay on this track but since I haven't been drawing for so long I have no confidence at all so I don't think I can do any art trades or comissions for a while. I'll be focusing on personal art and trying new things so what I post might not always be on the same level or in the same style as my old art but if you stick around anyway I'd be very happy <3
This is all for now, see you soon!