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liLOUP — My Mind, My Soul

Published: 2011-11-21 16:36:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 1356; Favourites: 38; Downloads: 10
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Description There is so much to say about that. In real life, it is rather large (40 x 50 cm ish), on a shoebox carton. It is really, really bright and colorful, all the lines are sharp and not blurry, haha. Color markers and my imagination.

it is basically a portrait of my mind, soul and personality. Its a self-portrait from the inside.

I started to work on this sometime before noon, and finished right after 7 pm. I didn't eat all day apparently, haha, I took 5 short smoke breaks. Was listening to my iPod all day sitting in the kitchen, drawing, with 9 people coming and leaving, inspiring and admiring.

It started as just a small doodle. Here, if you want a short guide of whats going on, keep reading down.

First, I'll explain the order in which you should look at it. I'll separate this in 6 general areas, all explained in the chronological order.
It goes:
1. Down left inside of the peace sign
2. Upper left inside of the peace sign
3. Upper right inside of the peace sign
4. Down right inside of the peace sign
5. Left side outside the peace sign
6. Right side outside the peace sign
****
1. It all started as a small black line doodle thing, currently the antlers of a grown deer. I started coloring it in with yellow and blue markers, and as soon as it looked like a tree/antlers, I decided to make this into a deer. I fucked up the hind legs of it though, so I scribbled with a black marker over them. Later I realized it made a wolf-rat face, neck and shoulder, and decided to use it. Then I drew the small deer and decided that colorful, differently shaped deer represents my wild and creative part of imagination. The grown deer is what I have right now, and the small one is basically my new potential fruits/roots of imagination. However, the rat-wolf creature is herding both deers, he keeps them in fear. The creature suffers itself, its supposed to represent my inner demons - constantly tormenting and constantly tormented themselves. The ugly creature is infecting everyone around it with fear, not letting the adult deer roam freely or the young one to develop properly. Instead, the small deer is being driven away from me (whatever is inside the peace sign) to the distorted world of drugs, and as it does so, it looses its color. The ugly in me will not let my mind be free and growing, to put it shortly. The ugly is called fear.

2. This part of me is basically all about passion and fire, both balanced and abused, as well as to show the natural empathy and kindness that is I believe is in me (the green and the flower part). The green and decorated flames are to show my natural harmony with lust and desires, but for the beast, the gryphon, its never enough, it wants to be more in fire. It is reaching out to the outside world which as I mentioned earlier, it is both my own world and of some other universe. The fire in me wants to do stupid, tempting shit, and as a result, suffers emotionally because I get burned. The red underneath the gryphon is to represent my personal hell. In this part of the peace sign it is all about how my mind and soul is both hell and paradise.

3.Originally, I wanted to create a butterfly like creature using the antlers of the deer, but then I made it into another pair of antlers being carried by a wolf creature. Note that it is breathing out smoke upwards at the same time as the *ugly* wolf is spitting out something downwards. They are kinda meant to be the opposites but basically the same. The howling/smoke breathing wolf is supposed to be that wise and old soul of mine, but as you can see, it doesn't look exactly happy. However, there is a difference between the sorrows/pains of the two wolf-creatures - one is suffering and causing pain, while the other one is suffering on *another level*, in a more philosophical, spiritual way. Not sure how to explain, but while I couldn't say the wise wolf is perfectly happy, I also cant say its miserable. Just pensive.
The large wolf face is supposed to also represent me, or more like my soul. You cannot look at it from far away - actually, there is a specific way to look at it . First, you focus at the left eye and don't notice anything around. Then you focus on the left eye. Then you stare at the nose/muzzle. Haha. Do not put all three images together, I did not draw it to compose a face.
I'd say the eyes are the facial expression of my soul, if there could be one. Or if there is one. Or when there is one. Hrm.

Oh look, there is also that swirly thing coming out of the wolf's head, right on its temple level. Supposed to show that I am thinking, haha. The big bird is there around mostly for the wings, because sometimes my mind takes flight.

4. Just a nice color combination and random ornaments.

5. Oh look, its the world of my own. It is outside my brain or soul, whatever that is. A strange reality. It is interacting with me, ether trying to grow into me or making me very tempted to step out. In that world, the sky is brighter and you can see how flowers smell. Since I do not and never had a sense of smell, it means a lot to me. I really wish I could smell flowers. Or anything else.
But in the world of my own, this is how flowers would bloom

*****

There is a story to ever little thing on this large piece of paper, but this is just an outline, haha. Bottomline is, my mind and soul is both hell and heaven. It is at constant war with itself, but at the same time, nothing ever really changes. Its chaos and balance, pleasures and pains, dreams and distorted reality. It is both happy and unhappy, peaceful and at war, beautiful and ugly. I need to fix the rat-wolf's front leg hehe, as soon as I buy white-out.
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Comments: 21

don-be [2012-10-26 13:23:26 +0000 UTC]

It,s a beaut

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

tokeyondabudplz [2012-07-23 12:47:51 +0000 UTC]

Mental...this is ma kinda shizz right here. Lush colours man

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

liLOUP In reply to tokeyondabudplz [2012-07-29 04:21:53 +0000 UTC]

Thanks man

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KibaInuWolf [2012-04-12 16:58:35 +0000 UTC]

Very Nice

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TrickyCreature [2011-12-06 21:29:54 +0000 UTC]

Wow! I appreciate it! So many thoughts in one picture... Like me. Everything has got its meaning...
Very interesting style, by the way. Looks a bit like shamanic art I've seen. Very impressive!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ZhaveaKianne [2011-11-24 17:58:16 +0000 UTC]

I have a deeper insight to who you are now. *hug* I have an even greater respect for you now, on so many levels I can't begin to explain them all.

I thought it was a bit too busy inside the sections of the peace sign, but around it, no, not so busy, and I like it a lot.

I think all good artists should do something like this. And even if they're not good, I think it'd be a good way to come to terms with oneself.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

liLOUP In reply to ZhaveaKianne [2011-11-29 19:22:56 +0000 UTC]

-hugs back- why thank you for your kind words :3

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MasterMhal [2011-11-23 19:44:48 +0000 UTC]

wow.

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PatchesGryphon [2011-11-22 02:16:38 +0000 UTC]

Wow- I agree with Lyk. Also, it was interesting to get to know you by reading this, if only just a little.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

liLOUP In reply to PatchesGryphon [2011-11-29 19:21:33 +0000 UTC]

Lol got a small look at my insides?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PatchesGryphon In reply to liLOUP [2011-11-30 01:02:06 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, it's very squishy~
xDD

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Psyconaut419 [2011-11-21 19:51:20 +0000 UTC]

Love the color contrast :joy:

Very crowded though, sometimes less is more :approval:

But i love it
:content:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

liLOUP In reply to Psyconaut419 [2011-11-21 21:19:02 +0000 UTC]

Thank you ^^

I would pay more attention to the overall composition and theme if I didn't smoke 5 times that day, haha. I wasn't really thinking what I was doing, it was more like I was having a surprise party for my eyes... for 7 hours straight.

But yes, I can def agree with you that its too busy. Next time^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Psyconaut419 In reply to liLOUP [2011-11-21 21:23:03 +0000 UTC]

Haha, I can completely relate. It looks good though, so its no biggy

Your arts very good!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

liLOUP In reply to Psyconaut419 [2011-11-21 21:34:44 +0000 UTC]

Thank you, really appreciate it xD

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Lykouros [2011-11-21 19:25:19 +0000 UTC]

Wow. This is both beautiful and melancholic. I love that you added the description to explain your perspective.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

liLOUP In reply to Lykouros [2011-11-21 20:33:02 +0000 UTC]



<3

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Lykouros In reply to liLOUP [2011-11-21 21:12:54 +0000 UTC]

<3

How are you?

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liLOUP In reply to Lykouros [2011-11-21 21:35:22 +0000 UTC]

I am good, very good. Leaving tomorrow for Amsterdam, this thought warms my heart XD

How have you been doing lately in your head?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Lykouros In reply to liLOUP [2011-11-22 01:18:18 +0000 UTC]

Lol. I've been doing crummy and good and bad and great and all that. Been off and on angry with everything and glad to be alive. It's a never ending cycle -shrug-

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

liLOUP In reply to Lykouros [2011-11-29 19:19:53 +0000 UTC]

<3 the ciiiiiiircle of liiiiiife

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