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lorananirren — Untitled - Villanelle [NSFW]
Published: 2010-03-11 08:34:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 114; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description Choices, like serrated grasses, cut
unexpectedly with limited foresight.
I wonder; does that make me a slut?

At a Halloween house party, I overfilled my gut,
my food intake earlier that day was light…
choices, like serrated grasses, cut.

There was a guy I thought I could love, but
he abandoned me, no balls to even write.
I hate that I still wonder if that makes me a slut.

If sex is pleasure, passion, I must be in a rut
Trying again and only failure meets me in the night –
choices, like serrated grasses, cut.

One guy opened my eyes to a new world of smut,
pretending to be my shining knight.
Still I wonder if his knowledge makes me a slut.

Many crows in peacock feathers strut
before me, and I welcomed them, accumulating blight.
Choices, like serrated grasses, cut –
could my choices be considered actions of a slut?
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Comments: 6

MizzFWA [2010-03-22 13:28:56 +0000 UTC]

I love the repetition, the flow and the focus. I'm just wondering at the last stanza being 4 lines, breaking the rhythm of 3.

I wonder if you could call this poem "Gluttony" - sort of as a slight irony to excessive greed that isn't necessarily about food. Also because you mentioned food. I'm just thinking paradoxically about sin/perception of sin.

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lorananirren In reply to MizzFWA [2010-03-23 02:34:08 +0000 UTC]

Interesting idea for a title, I'll think about that

That's the typical form for a villanelle my dear lol. Have you read the poem "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas or...oh what was my other favorite...gotta look it up. "One Art" by Elizabeth Bishop. They illustrate the form in such fantastic ways, and their messages are unique and beautiful. "One Art" is especially artful in its use of the form...you'll see what I mean

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MizzFWA In reply to lorananirren [2010-03-23 06:55:48 +0000 UTC]

Alright! <3

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likescarecrows [2010-03-17 05:09:29 +0000 UTC]

I don't like the word "slut," just so you know It's not cause of what it means, I just don't like it.

I like the poem however. Overlooking that one word

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lorananirren In reply to likescarecrows [2010-03-18 16:19:07 +0000 UTC]

I don't really like it much either, but it was a real question I worried over for a period in my life. And it provided for an intriguing challenge with the rhymes, so it was worth the risk of it lol.

Thanks for your comment

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likescarecrows In reply to lorananirren [2010-03-21 07:00:51 +0000 UTC]

Well I'm glad you put it to good use

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