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Description
The Second Love
I love you, I know that love isn't a word that can be thrown around freely, and I know that the technical and logical term for my feelings toward you are called obsession. People tell me that all the time, and I always reply, reply with the truth. Love hides itself, deep within obsession, there can never be obsession without love. So I state once again, no matter how much you may loath the word, I love you. I know its meaning is more than my mind will ever comprehend, but there's no other word that suits how I feel. Only one other person has broken me down and caused me to love as much as you have.…like it or not, your different…..your special. You Hate yourself, despice every part of you, but, to me…. Everything about you is perfect, the way your smooth blonde hair falls over your right eye, the brightness of your blue eyes, illuminating my world, your humble smile, your style of clothes, everything…so what happened? I was so happy…you will never know the happiness you brought to me, none of the troubles in the world bothered me when with you. The cold of winter stung and bit my fingers, but it didn't matter, they were warm in your hands. Hunger came upon me, but I could always find a reason to enjoy myself despite my churning stomach and raging headaches. The sleepless nights made no difference in my day as long as I was with you, I never wanted to fall asleep, in fear of missing precious moments between us. Never in my life, have I ever felt the way I felt when with you, and now…now its gone. I know that its your decision to end our relationship, you have every right to, but that doesn't change the way I feel now. You turned my world upside down, you made me realize things I never knew about myself, you made me love for the first time. Every time I see you in the hall way, my heart stops beating, and I crumble to pieces on the inside…but I hide it, I have to, so not to make you mad. I quickly build myself up again, a mask…more than a mask….a costume, all for you, so I wont have to suffer with the fact of you thinking any less of me, because in all reality, that is the thing that will end up dragging me down so far that the light of day will never meet my dark eyes again. You're the best person I know, how could I possibly live with the hate you feel towards me…it ripps me to shreds on the inside, I cry…every time…I miss you, more than you will ever understand, I think about you every day, multiple times, each time, I become more depressed. Every time somebody mentions your name, my day falls apart, and im dragged down, into the darkness that surges through my soul. I cant stand it. There are times, when I feel as if im fine without you…they always end though. Im not fine without you, I need you, and I hate myself for that. You shouldn't have to deal with me, I bring drama to your life, and the hate for myself engulfs my entire body, you may think you're the one that hates me the most….but you will never feel as much hate as I feel for myself. I cant handle this on my own, and im scared. Never will you feel the pain and darkness you have brought to my life, but believe me when I say, its unbearable, and despairing, I need your help, I need your compassion, your empathy….but you keep that to yourself, never sharing with others, never helping me, which kills me inside, every time. Ever since the break up, my life has been falling, faster and faster, deeper and deeper into darkness…and now….its hit rock bottom, and I fear, that one day, ill lose control. Maybe ill slit my wrist, maybe ill hang myself, the possibilities are endless, but just know, that my last dying wish, would, and will always be, that your happy.

Description
The Second Love
I love you, I know that love isn't a word that can be thrown around freely, and I know that the technical and logical term for my feelings toward you are called obsession. People tell me that all the time, and I always reply, reply with the truth. Love hides itself, deep within obsession, there can never be obsession without love. So I state once again, no matter how much you may loath the word, I love you. I know its meaning is more than my mind will ever comprehend, but there's no other word that suits how I feel. Only one other person has broken me down and caused me to love as much as you have.…like it or not, your different…..your special. You Hate yourself, despice every part of you, but, to me…. Everything about you is perfect, the way your smooth blonde hair falls over your right eye, the brightness of your blue eyes, illuminating my world, your humble smile, your style of clothes, everything…so what happened? I was so happy…you will never know the happiness you brought to me, none of the troubles in the world bothered me when with you. The cold of winter stung and bit my fingers, but it didn't matter, they were warm in your hands. Hunger came upon me, but I could always find a reason to enjoy myself despite my churning stomach and raging headaches. The sleepless nights made no difference in my day as long as I was with you, I never wanted to fall asleep, in fear of missing precious moments between us. Never in my life, have I ever felt the way I felt when with you, and now…now its gone. I know that its your decision to end our relationship, you have every right to, but that doesn't change the way I feel now. You turned my world upside down, you made me realize things I never knew about myself, you made me love for the first time. Every time I see you in the hall way, my heart stops beating, and I crumble to pieces on the inside…but I hide it, I have to, so not to make you mad. I quickly build myself up again, a mask…more than a mask….a costume, all for you, so I wont have to suffer with the fact of you thinking any less of me, because in all reality, that is the thing that will end up dragging me down so far that the light of day will never meet my dark eyes again. You're the best person I know, how could I possibly live with the hate you feel towards me…it ripps me to shreds on the inside, I cry…every time…I miss you, more than you will ever understand, I think about you every day, multiple times, each time, I become more depressed. Every time somebody mentions your name, my day falls apart, and im dragged down, into the darkness that surges through my soul. I cant stand it. There are times, when I feel as if im fine without you…they always end though. Im not fine without you, I need you, and I hate myself for that. You shouldn't have to deal with me, I bring drama to your life, and the hate for myself engulfs my entire body, you may think you're the one that hates me the most….but you will never feel as much hate as I feel for myself. I cant handle this on my own, and im scared. Never will you feel the pain and darkness you have brought to my life, but believe me when I say, its unbearable, and despairing, I need your help, I need your compassion, your empathy….but you keep that to yourself, never sharing with others, never helping me, which kills me inside, every time. Ever since the break up, my life has been falling, faster and faster, deeper and deeper into darkness…and now….its hit rock bottom, and I fear, that one day, ill lose control. Maybe ill slit my wrist, maybe ill hang myself, the possibilities are endless, but just know, that my last dying wish, would, and will always be, that your happy.