HOME | DD

Meggz — Depression

Published: 2004-11-20 01:04:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 7935; Favourites: 241; Downloads: 49
Redirect to original
Description Can you really sit in a tunnel of noise and yet hear only silence?
Can you scream so loud that you feel as though your heart will break and yet make no sound at all?
Can you be so trapped within yourself that you see no way out?

How can it be possible to need someone so badly but want every one to stay away even more?
How can you exist in a moment but have no emotions attached?
How can you be in so much pain that you are no longer able to feel?

The overwhelming sense that one more moment of anything that amounts to more than nothing will be more than too much?
Trying to make sense of it all.
Asking questions, trying to understand, trying to be more than the moment but being so buried in it that it suffocates.
Trying to try.

Holding on to the belief in self.
The endless fighting to prove that the lies are the lies and the truth is the truth and someone else's eyes create the muddle and confusion.
The want to believe that things are as they should be, that all the numbers add up.
Denial that projected images are wrong, it has to fit the hole, as long as the square peg fits in the round hole it doesn't matter how it gets there.
Fighting for the truth, but no one wants to rock the boat, no one wants to be wrong, no one will ever be the hero.
The princess will remain locked on the tower and the dragon will sleep peacefully at the door and the knights will sleep peacefully in their beds knowing that no one will think they may be wrong.

Need to fly, need to sleep, need to dream.

They say that time heals all, but why does it take so long?

Pain takes pain, it gives it a moments release but then it goes and all remains as it was.
Sometimes anger takes over pain but then it goes.
Sometimes there is a moment when if only someone would be there it would all go away, but then it goes.
Can anything ever be normal?
Can anything ever be like everything else?

Control and power, power and control.
Need to claw back some need to have something that no one can take away, that no one can have for themselves.
How can emotion be so huge?
How can pain be do clear but no one knows?
Or that no one cares?
Wrapped up in their bubble, don't want anything to spoil it, don't want to share priority, it's all priority and priority doesn't count.
Invisibility has it's own protection but yet there are some things that have to be seen.

Existence is away from reality, a comfort in the imagination.
But only for a little while.
For a little while the imagination can give release.

Is it fear? Running so fast and so hard, running in sleep and running awake always running always trying to sever the invisible ties that bind to the existence of the matter of fact.

Can trust be established?
Can blame be apportioned?
Can freedom be found in forgiveness?
Can there be a key?
Can the thoughts, the memories be pushed so far back that they are less than a haze?
Can they fly back at a moments notice and hit so hard and so fast that they make it hard to breath?
Can half a memory be worse than a whole one because the imagination fills in the blanks?
Can the blanks be so damaging that they are better left alone?
Can guilt be part of doing no wrong?
Can the endless questions be the inner whirlpool that keeps binding the path to moving on?

If freedom comes with time then seconds become minutes, minutes become hours and hours become days and so on.
The time doesn't become forever there are trips and falls along the way but time longer moves on.
Related content
Comments: 33

hawkwing22 [2015-06-20 01:01:55 +0000 UTC]

This made me so dizzy. Like literally dizzy with relief. I understand what's happening now. It's all there. I know what it is. Thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Alpha0177 [2013-02-15 01:56:16 +0000 UTC]

My god you're a genius. I'm almost out of breath now. Anyway, very accurate. Well written. Good job.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

alice-morrco [2012-12-03 10:14:16 +0000 UTC]

this is exactly how i feel. i have depression, but to see someone who doesn;t have it, write exactly how i feel, its...something nice.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CharlotteAmaniri [2012-03-20 18:05:37 +0000 UTC]

Can I use your thoughts about depression on my fb page ? People should be more aware what depressed people think and feel cause this is really huge problem in the world. Depression is ignored by the people and this is wrong attitude. I am a person suffering from depression and I know how it hard to live with it.


PS. with all my heart ...
Thank you for understanding ...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

BluPoniCrone [2011-12-01 16:12:54 +0000 UTC]

this one makes me feel as though some people understand me. I have been clinically depressed for years, and the medication(s) don't always help. Thank you for you view and understanding!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TwilightAssasin27 [2011-05-26 01:29:46 +0000 UTC]

i understand... i understand 100%
... i suffered through Depression when i was bout 11... My Fav. uncle died, my Fav. cat ran away and prob. either died or found a new home (or both), And then My Bestest Friend Moved away without tellin me, but told her friends and mine... i couldnt Hold Back anymore Saddness... i finally Gave up tryin to be Happy in this Cruel World... thinking things will get better... things NEVER got better for me... i still feel Depressed to this day... i went to Theraphy cuz i was So frkin Depressed... for bout a yr. or so... i just Pretend to Think im no longer Depressed...

But anway... Good Thought Collection!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

darkchandelier95 [2011-03-08 12:50:15 +0000 UTC]

Oh,I wrote something like this once. Could you please see it and comment on it? Thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AltheaTsuru [2010-10-23 06:05:49 +0000 UTC]

i know

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

HatefulMcAbre [2010-10-03 15:30:34 +0000 UTC]

Wow this is beautiful :') Its so deep it really connected with me. x

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Foreststone [2010-10-01 09:01:56 +0000 UTC]

Honestly I don't know what to say.....it is just amazing.....

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Angelfang123423 [2010-06-08 01:50:30 +0000 UTC]

Love it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DrIgnacious [2010-06-06 06:03:26 +0000 UTC]

I needed to know someone knows how I'm feeling right now. Thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

heidia818 [2010-04-16 12:20:26 +0000 UTC]

i find this the truest line: Need to claw back some need to have something that no one can take away, that no one can have for themselves.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

heidia818 [2010-04-16 12:15:51 +0000 UTC]

thats amazing, so true

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

fadingflowerx [2010-01-16 01:03:53 +0000 UTC]

I love the first 3 'stanzas' or parts. They really relate to alot of feelings I have been experiencing lately which I have struggled to put into words. I think anyone who has gone through depression will understand what I mean. Good Work. x

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

7Bridie7 [2009-10-08 13:19:06 +0000 UTC]

wow.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

FallenMaeve [2009-09-21 11:15:42 +0000 UTC]

completely understand. you summed it up perfectly. wonderful poem

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

C-Dee [2009-09-08 06:48:02 +0000 UTC]

Ahh, yes... So accurate. So PAINFULLY accurate. Unfortunately, some of my thought processes have been formed in a similar way. I cannot vocalize, write, or type what some of my thoughts are. I should be able to, but I only get it as a feeling, and I can't interpret it. The sun seems to be less bright than it was several years ago... Oh yeah, I've been there. I still AM there... I'll recover from it somehow, though...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

hellishlygood [2009-08-10 23:26:46 +0000 UTC]

A very accurate description of depression. The anger was a nice touch. Are you going to Atypical or Melancholic depression here?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheClutz [2009-07-12 09:19:08 +0000 UTC]

god i can rad through all of this and understand, know what its like... breathing this air now...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

writingfireangel [2008-12-01 08:24:03 +0000 UTC]

Awesome poem.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MindDisorder [2008-10-20 16:10:45 +0000 UTC]

Love it.. the way you express it so powerful and yeah I love the way its kinda confused (as most of the depressives are) as well ..GREAT JOB

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

bloodandinkmagazine [2008-08-05 23:04:55 +0000 UTC]

this is really great, im making this art magazine for a school project and in it i'm includin some information on creavity vs. depression. i was wondering if i could feature your poem in it?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

PseudoSolitude [2008-05-19 04:26:59 +0000 UTC]

that's what it looks like, that's what it feels like. such a terrible disorder, and they don't even know what's wrong with me. i think it's psychotic depression, where the depression goes on for so long, and got so bad without being treated (try 10+ years), that i actually started to lose my mind, literally. my therapist has an idea that it might be depression NOS (not otherwise specified). it's so difficult because people think you cry for attention, but they don't know that there are trenches that have been dug into your heart and soul, so you want to do the same thing to your skin to match the emotional pain with some physical pain. to want but can't receive, to feel worthless and nothing anybody says can make it better. to lose trust in friends and family, and lose the friends that don't want to understand that the feelings are involuntary.

not once did you falter on your description. i was almost institutionalized but it seems there are bigger fish that need tending to. i may have jumped around in this, but that's psychosis for you, thoughts interrupting the spoken word.

very well done ^_^ i'm in the middle of writing a piece to describe psychotic depression, i'll be done with it soon.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

laurenfoolx [2008-03-06 10:20:00 +0000 UTC]

this made me cry.
i know how all this feels, its like someone speaks my language :\
well done.
check out my lit. thing called butterflies and knives.
its not as deep and long, but its short and means alot in my mind.
kudos.

!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Darkshadows17 [2007-11-14 00:43:57 +0000 UTC]

WOW! Thats really powerful. I am actually lost for words. Well written!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

OceanSoulGirl [2007-08-18 02:51:00 +0000 UTC]

This is definitely depression....and don`t I know it. Brilliant piece of work.....so true it hurts.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

sadconfusion [2007-06-24 02:50:52 +0000 UTC]

i understand

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

I-is-I-be [2007-06-20 06:54:01 +0000 UTC]

oh, i understnd it very well. and this is so....right, exact....this is depression, or atleast a large part of it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Moon3y [2007-06-03 07:00:52 +0000 UTC]

I love this, it would be impossible to understand unless you have been there or are currently there, the questions that have no form because your minds so disorganized you cant find words to make the question even if you managed to find someone to ask.
but hey that might just be the drugs i dunno.
XxxX
MooN

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

krazykrissy [2006-07-13 01:25:12 +0000 UTC]

This is awesome! I totally feel every word! Nicely done

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Galhad [2004-11-22 04:17:42 +0000 UTC]

It's a little bit confused... but it's really powerful.
It's like brainstorm thoughts

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Meggz In reply to Galhad [2004-11-22 16:10:23 +0000 UTC]

its supposed to be, thats how you think when your like that, nothing makes sense and everything is confusing
*meggz*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0