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myownself — Unfresh Reminiscences
Published: 2004-02-20 07:38:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 2788; Favourites: 58; Downloads: 839
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It's been exactly 6 months since I had my surgery in Aug 2003....I didn't know I was supposed to be fully undressed for the surgery, so when I regained consciousness after 8 hours of anesthesia with two drainage tubes, catheter and the plastic passageway in my throat, first thing I've noticed before pain and fear enveloped me clammily were my jolly neon green panties in a clear ziplock with orange "BIOHAZARD" label on my bedside table.
PS. I automatically put 'selfportrait' as a keyword.
PPS. Shot in one of the Moscow clinics, Jan 2004.
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Comments: 56
you're story made me laugh out loud, cause that is something that would happen to me. And the shot is beautiful i love the composition, i am a big fan of hallway shots, dunno why...
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It's a shame you didn't get a shot of the pantys int he baggy. Sorry, I just think it would make a very funny statement. ^_^ Great piece here though, very well done. Thank you for sharing, both the art and the story. I hoe everything is ok now that it's done and over with ^_^ Take care.
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I love long hospital hallways so much, always freak the crap out of me 
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Your self portraits are brilliant, thats a given, but I feel this shot expresses as much emotion as the self portraits do, perhaps even more. The feeling is hidden, not distinguished right away but its there. I've been to many Moscow clinics in my life, and you've really captured that feeling brilliantly. I only stayed over night once when I was four and having lung problems, but your story really gave me a chill. The doctors there arent very kind :/ Anyway I love how its blurred a little, makes me feel like I'm seeing it through the tear stained eyes of someone who is trying to escape. The reflection on the hard wood floors almost make them look like waves, which is what I thought they were at first. Very powerful shot dear, the toning is perfect as well. I love this!
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i'm afraid of hospitals. i begin to shiver when i enter one. no exaggeration. and i hate everything that's related to it. syringes and things. i had a quite complicated operation when i was four years old. sth with my ovaries. i can't remember it and i won't ask questions about it now that's for sure. it's just the age when you can remember important things clearly. i remember my struggle with two doctors when they tried to approach me with a syringe. it's a bit of a traumata since. i hate hospitals. how can one wish to become a doctor? i'd freak out if a hospital was my workplace.
now i wrote only about myself. hm.
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i remember reading things about your surgery in your gallery.
i missed the reasons for it i guess. only added to the mystique for me.
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Good stuff. A bit different from your normal style. I LOVE IT too!!!!!
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Cool shot I Like how long the hall feels. Heh that is an awesome story too, well not you having to go through surgery part. Long hospital hallways always scare me.
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Thats to bad about your neon panties 
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What a disturbing story - I love it and I think it goes along perfectly with this photo. I like the photo because it's so cold and dark despite the vague light source, it gives me the feeling of being alone, and reminds me of those dreaded sanitary hospital smells that I hate so much.
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very interesting story to the picture
neon panties
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I dont think I ever found out what happened to you. Anyway, this photo of a hospitalward expresses very clearly why I dropped out of medschool. Maybe its all about saving lifes, but to me its a nightmarish world of suffering and death.
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what were you in for.
btw i was an accounting student in college.
medicine not my forte....
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nice shot- it makes me scared to go to the hospitle... or even the doctors office.... damn
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Excellent, very moby. but excellent! FAV.
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wow... this piece is so very impactful.. I appriciate reading about the history of the photo as well... looks just great... very.. eerie. I think that's a good word to describe it . That and dream like.. except a horrible dream..
great work
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Poor you, I dont understand why someone has to be totally naked for a throat surgery?
This is a good shot, the lights are doubled and the floor is wavey, like from the point of view of a dazed and drugged experimented-on person aimlessly roaming the hospital halls.
Too much X-files.
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I had an open cholecystectomy. Not exactly a throat surgery
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eep!!
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this is a really disturbing shot. i would not want to be in that hospital. i think you really captured morbidity and fear in this.
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i wish someone had not said this was cute - ive had this happen to me and it was actually really terrifying to wake up with no undergarments on.... mine (bright pink thong that said "wednesday" on it) were in a plastic bag tucked next to me last time i had surgery. all the times before that they had left them on, so that was weird. but its creepy. then it hits you that (for me) there is an IV coming out of your foot and you can't use either of your arms and you've been throwing up for 9 hours because they gave you the wrong anesthesia. haha.
i like how the floor here looks likes waves in a wannabe-calm ocean....
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Well if people are going to put really personal pieces on the internet, they should hope that readers will be as sensitive as possible but not expect it. The internet is a personal space that is combined with a huge impersonality factor due to the fact that for the most part no one knows each other and each other's respective backgrounds. We should expect some inappropriate responses when we put personal things/stories on the internet and if that is not an idea we can be comfortable with either don't post the item or put a caveat that all who say non-serious things about it will be immediately smitten by the gods. That will probably show them. Dude wait a minute, the wrong anasthesia makes you puke for hours? When I had the RIGHT anasthesia for my surgery that was what happened... I think it's a conspiracy.
With that said, this picture looks amazingly like the floor is covered with water. It's a very moving piece, I also wish it were larger and in focus (I think it may be a little blurred horizontally)
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yeah i was allergic to the anesthetic.... and i couldnt do anything about throwing up (were talking projectile nonstop) because my hands were both bandaged... it sucked.
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that's the stuff nightmares are made of 
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I love it, and I love the title. It works so well. Keep up the awesome job. I love your work. This is one of my fav. pictures you have done so far. You really should do more of these type of pictures.
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ok so you're damned good also in architecture shots.... do you think to leave something for us poor humans ?
j/k
great atmosphere indeed.... 
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Whoaa... this looks like a scene from a movie. Very, very cool
*camera pans slowly down the hall with creepy music*
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thank you for sharing a bit of the things that haunt you.
i am glad the surgery went well and that you are here with us today.
cheers,
::brit
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see baby??!! that's what i say!!! this photo looks nice and, at the same time creepy, like a terror movie or something. i really like it, u can make more photos like this, to objects or animals or anything!! just be creative, cuz u have a loooooot of photos about u, and i know u r beautifull, DAMN YEA U ARE!!!!!! but pls!! for yourself, give us more like this!!!!
i love u baby!!!... bye...
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could do with a slightly longer exposure, imho. even though the darnkness does make the shot what it is, it feels like it's slightly too dark.
composition is ace tho.
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like the effect of the floor which looks like the gray water in act. simple yet perfectly done
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It is a pity that the f-v is so small. I cannot get the particulars clearly and glasses don't help much. Btw I can still see the wheelchair and remember my schoolmate Maddalena who cannot walk at all. I remeber a trip to Rome when we were 15 and the trouble of climbing the stairs with her weight on my shoulders.
Amazing shot.
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Makes me feel like I'm watching this trough the eyes of someone hiding in de shadows..
Kinday creepy and a great amosphere..
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that whole surgery thing reminded me of my surgery..... gah... creepy thought. i remember tubes sticking out of my tummy and and IV in my arm and... lol ill stop now. hospitals are creepy.. i cant believe i went through with it. i guess i had no choice.. why did u have surgery? if u dont mind me asking... im missing an organ now! lol yay.. not. anyway this is a nice shot... creepy.
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i have neon green panties too.
i was interested to see something that wasn't a self-portrait from you. its a nice photo but it didnt make me feel like your self-portraits do. then i read the description and it had quite a bit more life to it. i think everyone has connections to hospitals that they can attach to the photos. i dig how it's blurred... that's the feeling (at least for me) of hospitals totally.
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this is a good picture, but your portrait work is sososo much stronger that I find it a little disappointing.....
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I have no doubts it's my recollections that make this piece so special to me and perhaps to me only.
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You have impressed me with more absolutely stunning imagery. This particular photograph touches me for two reasons, the fact that I currently have an obsession with tunnel and hallways and the fact that I have spent an awful amount of time in hospital over my short life. I had my leg savaged by a dog as a child, require years of operations and skin grafts, and I had a brain tumor when I was fourteen. I feel faint and sick inside just form the smell of entering a hospital, which is a similar feeling I get from this photograph.
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I forced myself go to my sister's clinic and pay a visit to those walls...
Thank you.
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Nothing like a label eh? Thank you for another glimpse into your world and your story.....
Anything worth anything has hazzard attached to it....
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