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nasamanim — Sacrifice
Published: 2006-06-16 19:49:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 212; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 5
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Description There was a boy, by name of John,
a sad and sickly thing.
There was a man, both tall and strong,
Wise and noble as a king.

One day this boy got in trouble,
And the kindly man tried to save him-
Sacrificing his worthy life
To protect the boy so craven.

Not long after this noble deed
The child grew more ill,
And, dying, turned a sacrifice
To nought, to nothing, nil.

"Sacrifice yourself for others!"
You hear the moral cry,
But you'll soon find that all your brothers
Just want to rob you 'til you die.

They'll feed and feed on all you've got,
Giving nothing in return,
And they'll keep crying 'Give and take!'
And you wonder, where is 'earn'?

The man, you see, should not have died
Just to allow the boy to live-
His own life was far greater
Than any the boy could give.
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Comments: 2

AdirianSoan [2007-07-22 08:29:33 +0000 UTC]

Hurrah!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Oleksandr [2006-06-18 01:36:03 +0000 UTC]

The theme is nice. I understand it to be "Altruism is bad, m'kay". Am I right?

I liked it overall, though the line "And the kindly man tried to save him-" stands out by breaking the flow. I think once this is resolved, your work will become much better. Getting to the level of awesomeness of "My Cross."

👍: 0 ⏩: 0