plagiarist [2003-03-04 20:01:10 +0000 UTC]
It seems like you're trying to make extensive use of imagery, especially with colour - however, the explicit use of words like 'blue' and 'green' lets down the surreal quality of a dream description. The emphasis on colour seems a bit lop-sided in comparison with other descriptive features - if your perception fluctuates between a crystalline, clear view of the world and the reception of an extremely old television set, perhaps it resembles this in other ways? How do your surroundings sound, smell - when shocked, do your hairs stand up on end?
Perhaps with the emphasis upon visual perception in this piece, you experience synaethesia? (sp?) This is where you can taste sound, smell the way something feels etc. (usually occuring either in dreams or in pyschotropic hallucinations)
If you use more subliminal ways of conveying themes of colour, you may also add some variation into how the colours are presented. Using blue, green and white, would you describe the original peaceful, calm period as evocative of pastels? Changing the white to grey, would the uneasy scenes be similar to a choppy sea? This way, you're not only describing the colour of the environment, but its mood as well.
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