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pawcanada — Mewrah Wilson (Traditional/WIP)

Published: 2017-09-12 21:06:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 462; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 0
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Description To those who may be unfamiliar with my work:
* I currently treat all traditional pieces as a WIP/first version, with the intent to re-draw the piece digitally to both fix issues and finish it. I please ask that your feedback both bear this in mind and that the piece purposefully lacks shading due to it's WIP nature.
* I am slightly limited when it comes to the colours of markers available to me. Due to this, you may find the colours of the hair, eye, skin and clothes will be vastly different when compared to previous digital pieces done by me, the final version of the piece and pictures drawn by other artists. Additionally the scanning process can sometimes make the colours darker or lighter than I wanted.

Edit 15/09/2017 - I've rescanned this a few times to try and get the colours closer to how they look on paper. I still don't think it's perfect, but it's closer to how it looks on paper.
Edit 14/09/2017 - Updated the piece with the coloured version. I also made a few subtle fixes to the line art, such as a pocket on the jacket, a grey band at the bottom of the gauntlets and a missing eyebrow. I also experimented with the colour of her jacket, using a "Meadows Green" pen from a marker pack I had been given for my birthday. While I'll likely stick with making the jacket teal (and check if I have a teal pen for future Mewrah pictures), I may add on some detailing with this shade of green.

First new piece in nearly a month, this time of an updated version of Mewrah, combining the design richten and Doujio put forward in Commission: Mewrah with top and Mewrah Wilson [Commission] respectively. I generally like the more action look conveyed in those two pieces and while I may tweak the design some more as I work on this piece, I'm aiming to have it as close to their takes as possible, especially on the digital version.

The pose was originally based on Robina 19 by Tasastock , although after showing the wip version to toonartist he drew his take on the pose , which I felt worked better and used it as the basis for the final version. This piece could also be seen as me attempting to re-draw the last Mewrah picture I did, Mewrah Wilson - Aeroblade . This wasn't my intention as I simply thought "that would work perfectly for Mewrah", but I do think I did this drawing came out better than the last piece.

As for flaws:
1: There are some annoying elements that came about due to inking, like her front elbow bend and the way the stage left shorts hang down on the upper leg portion.
2: I feel I made the shots a little too long on the stage right leg and should have made it less stiff and ridged. I'd also like to make them more like the ones Doujio drew in "Mewrah Wilson [Commission] " as I really like the detailing on them, so expect that in the final version. I'll also add on more of the detailing richten put on the jacket in "Commission: Mewrah with top ". It wasn't until I was submitting this piece that I notice I'd left them off.
3: I realised I hadn't come up with a design for the boots until I was inking the piece and badly winged it. I based them very loosely on these ones but didn't take the design far beyond that. When I come to do the final version, I'll likely base them off of the ones drawn by DoubleZip or richten , or one of these two designs - design 1 and design 2 .
4: The sword was also a little rushed and maybe squished. I tried to follow toonartist 's version from this piece , as I still view it as her main sword. The pen also went slightly off track as I was drawing the base of the handle and I feel the hilt didn't quite convey the appearance I wanted.
5: I realised when I was inking that there was no armour on her back arm like there was on the front one. As I had already drawn the hair there was no way for me to add it on without it standing out. Likewise I did consider drawing a strap for the armour but decided to leave it off as I felt it made no sense. Expect to see it on either a re-draw or the final version, depending on which is more likely.
6: The head might be a little too small when compared to the rest of the body.
7: The visible portion of the stage right leg is much thicker than it should be, and what I intended.

However, the piece was falling into the "it's not perfect" trap, so I'm happy to have it done rather than get stuck in development hell. As someone who believes "done is better than perfect", I'm happy to have the piece completed so I can move onto either a second traditional version or the digital one, as well as my next piece.

I am aiming to colour this piece. It is nearly 10pm as I write this and I find it's better to colour with natural light rather than the light bulb in my lounge.

* Mewrah Wilson - Character Bio
* Credit to Nocturnaliss and toonartist for their support, advice and feedback as I was drawing this.
* Credit to richten for suggesting the sleevless jacket, cargo shorts and boots re-design that lead to this piece.
* Credit to Doujio for expanding on that design, namely with the tweaks to the shorts and the shoulder armour.
* Credit to Tasastock for producing the "Robina 19 " stock photo. Though the end pose ended up diverging greatly from it, said pose still served as the initial inspiration and reference.
* Credit to toonartist for drawing his take on the stock pose , which served as more of a reference than the original.
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Comments: 39

EduartBoudewijn [2017-09-27 05:04:44 +0000 UTC]

Hello from ProjectComment  

Since you've already pointed out a list of "flaws" and there already are a couple of other critiques, I'll try my best to discuss some new points. As always your ability to be critical of your own work and diligence in trying to improve is very commendable. I hope this critique will help you in that respect. 

Looking at the general gesture of this drawing first I notice one major thing; the pose you drew is a lot more upright than the sketched pose you linked to. I feel like in the end you got kind of stuck between the original photo reference and the sketched pose; taking a few things from both, but in the end through this not leaving a good gesture. In the original photo reference the pose is based very much about upward movement; heaving a sword high in the air like that takes a lot of force and it looks like she's about to chop downwards with the sword. The sketched pose on the other hand is more based around horizontal movement. From what I feel from it, the sword is lowered a bit and the non-weight-bearing leg is outstretched more, which also puts more of the character's bodyweight on the load-bearing leg (the right leg from the character's perspective). This is a pose more suited for preparing for a horizontal sweep; almost like swinging a baseball bat; the shift in load-bearing from one leg to another can be used for further horizontal movement to make for a larger and more powerful sweep. Therefore there is a big difference in intention behind both poses. In your pose the sword is held high, but not as high as the photo, but also not as low as the sketched pose. Her leg is out a bit more than the photo, but not as much as the sketched pose. This leaves the pose somewhere stranded in the middle, without a clear intention from the character behind the pose. Intentions like these are very important for a clear understanding of the 'aim' of the pose and to communicate this clearly to the viewer. 

As to some more minor details; the character's right leg (the weight-bearing leg) doesn't seem to touch the ground properly; the foot is angled in such a way that it seems to be floating in air, rather than supporting the character's weight. This is very tricky to get right when drawing in white void, perhaps it would be easier to use a very basic perspective grid to simulate a floor so you better know how to place the feet to convincingly bear the weight of the character. Even something simple like this could help a lot: previews.123rf.com/images/alho…
You don't have to keep the background in there if you don't want to, just see it as a guide layer to help you place your character properly in the space it's occupying. Grounding is very important in martial arts to gain solidity and strength and in drawing you need it as much to convey a sense of weight and stability. You can't make a large or strong swing without having a firm stance, so a hesitant grounding makes your pose feel weaker. 

I feel like there's a bit of indecision with your arms, especially the arm in the back. You mention how you didn't drew any armor on it, but it seems to me like a clear indication of the shoulder joint is missing altogether. Since her upper torso seems to be placed in profile it looks to me like her arm is sprouting from her neck, rather than a shoulder. Also, in the photo reference, the model is angling her back arm away from the camera while holding the sword; pointing her elbow to the side of her. This allows for some perspective to shorten the arm. I feel like you didn't take this perspective into your drawing, the way the arm looks is very flat, it looks parallel to the other arm. From her pose her back shoulder should be at the very least around the same point like the other shoulder; definitely not behind it. So if both arms are about the same length this would have the elbows meeting up around the same area as well, however the back arm seems to end earlier than the front arm, making it look shorter, since there's no clear perspective or foreshortening to explain this. In the sketched pose the arm is pretty much without perspective as well, but as you can see it has been corrected for by having the back arm move a bit further along than the front arm, suggesting that the back shoulder is slightly in front of the front shoulder and keeping the arms around the same length. 

Hope these points made some sense to you and I hope you'll be able to utilize them in your future works! Keep on practicing and I hope to see your future works as well ^^

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pawcanada In reply to EduartBoudewijn [2017-09-27 07:46:54 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for your comment.

I do appreciate you reading my artist comments, other comments and attempting to avoid repeating anything brought up in either. It is a small pet peeve of mine when people don't do that as I feel it can "waste" a comment if they're not bringing anything new to the discussion and overlook areas that could also be looked on. Though I will go into more detail during my reply, I do appreciate the things you brought up as they're all things I overlooked or never considered.

I'll admit I never noticed the difference between the stock photo and my friend's sketch. If I remember right, he did draw the sketch when I was around half way through the piece myself so it's possibly my interpretation influenced his version slightly. In turn I think I started to unconsciously adjust my piece to more resemble the sketched version which may be why it has that "mixed" look but doesn't reflect the weight and body of either. To clarify, is the stage left leg on both versions the weight bearing leg? I've been reading about weight distribution in my Loomis book but I'll admit I'm not sure if I've fully understood which leg carries the majority of the weight. In turn, I can also see what you mean about it not being on the ground properly. Annoyingly I did something similar when I drew my previous "battle stance Mewrah " piece and had wanted to make sure I didn't repeat it here. If anything though, looking at it again I feel it's worse this time . I think I tried to copy how the model's stage left foot looked, as it seemed to be at an angle for me but even then I still over exaggerated it. I believe I did draw a flat ground for her to stand on when I was sketching the piece (my memory has been a bit fuzzy recently) but looking at the grind you showed, I can see that being more helpful in the future. I've been meaning to invest in a ruler for a while so maybe it's time I got one. As a former marial artist myself I agree it is important to have a solid grounding for a strong pose and I am annoyed I missed that here.

I'm afraid you misinterpreted what I meant about the lack of armour on the back arm, though I probably could have been clearer. I had already inked that arm when I realised I forgot to draw the armour on it, and there was no easy way for me to add it on without either having the bicep line go through the strap, or make it look like the strap was a tattoo on her arm, rather than being tied around it. That having been said, I can see what you mean about the arm coming out of her neck and agree it makes it look like she is lacking a shoulder. Looking at the stock photo again I can see what you mean about the way the model is positioning her arm and do feel I should have tried to draw that rather than my own interpretation of how it was positioned. Likewise I can see how that works on the sketched version now as well. Going back to my interpretation of the pose, I do feel I tend to get the wrong image of something in my mind when I am drawing. Thus, I almost never compare it to the references once I feel I have "enough" on paper, which could also be a factor as to why I don't notice some elements like how highly the model raised her sword, the way she positioned her back arm, or how my friend had the back arm further forward.

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EduartBoudewijn In reply to pawcanada [2017-09-27 15:00:31 +0000 UTC]

Sometimes you can get comments from people who didn't even bother to read the title of the piece; let alone the artist's comments. It always feels a bit lazy to me (not meant as offense to anyone who does that), but I really agree that it wastes the comment. I'm glad my points were helpful to you. 

Yeah, the stage-left leg is the load bearing leg; though in the photo reference the weight is more split between the two legs. A good rule of thumb to use is to draw an (imaginary) line down from the character's neck straight to the ground. The leg that touches the ground closest to the line is most likely the load bearing leg. 

Feet touching the ground are very tricky (feet in general are tricky enough in my opinion) and it still gives me a lot of trouble when drawing myself. Just keep working at it; in time you'll improve. Using a ruler for a reference grid can definitely be a good idea when practicing this more. When using references try to understand how the floor's perspective is working along with the foot, understanding that will help a lot in trying to get it right. 

Using references for the entire sketch can be really important; if after a while you rely on an image in your mind more than your reference you can miss some very crucial but minor details; which could represent a great learning opportunity. I've often heard artists say that art is based for a large percentage on observation skills. These are also skills you train over time. You can use the reference to compare distances, proportions, angles etc. Keep in mind that you can divert from the reference in any way you feel fit; but it has to be a conscious decision for a reason. This can lead to exaggeration which can lead to a stylistic approach, which is really based on what you think looks best. However, if it isn't a conscious decision you can make small mistakes that decrease the impact of your work. 

Glad my critique helped you further along!

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pawcanada In reply to EduartBoudewijn [2017-09-27 15:18:42 +0000 UTC]

When I get a constructive comment, I want it to either tell me something I didn't know was wrong, or explain an issue I am struggling with. If, for example, I know the shading is bad and I've said as such, having three people all say it doesn't really help unless one says "Have you tried this tutorial". By contrast, I still remember a comment on an old piece that said "Others have mentioned this so I'll bring up issues I saw with the design". It said something I hadn't noticed or considered before, I understood and agreed with his points and plan to action them in a future redesign. I don't tend to get many in general so I want to squeeze all the "value" out of the ones I get through Project Comment.

I never heard that before but that makes sense. As mentioned, i recall working with weight in my Loomis book so I think next time I'll go back to those pages and try the "line down the middle" suggestion.

The reference grid is something I never considered before so thanks again for the suggestion. Looking at the model again I can see the feet are a little slanted, due either to the angle of the camera or the fact she seems to be standing on something soft like a mattress. I think I tried to compensate that myself but I feel the end result was off.

Yes, I definitely agree it's easy to get the wrong impression of the piece if you purely go off memory. I recall reading that every time you recall a memory, you're not bringing back the "original" version and instead changing it ever so slightly. Over time the "edits" to it overtake the original version. I can see that happening when only briefly referencing a pose. And I do agree it's good to divert from the reference, but you need to get the "basic" version of it right first so the edits would still work with them.

Finally, can I please ask your thought on something; do you feel the pose is stiff and, if so, how would you combat that? Some of the other comments made on this piece bring it up, but I'm struggling to see how their suggestions offer a solution, i.e. I don't see how hair blowing would counter it. I'd even say I feel there needs to be a degree of stiffness considering the strength such a pose needs (ignoring the misplaced feet for a second) but I would like to hear your thoughts and perhaps a suggestion to counter it.

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EduartBoudewijn In reply to pawcanada [2017-09-28 04:50:44 +0000 UTC]

I think I can see what people refer to as stiffness; though I don't think that's the correct term for the particular issue. I think the bigger issue, that's making your feel stiff is rather the lack of form in your drawing and the flatness that results from that. Form is a bit of a tricky concept to explain, but generally it's how good your drawing conveys a sense of 3-D. It's the difference between a drawing of a circle and a drawing of a ball if you understand what I'm getting at. The problem is that it's a part that's very tricky to explain properly. It definitely took me a long time of practice before I felt like I got rid of that flatness a bit in my own drawings. A more detailed understanding of anatomy and perspective can definitely be a boon in improving this. 

I also found this pretty good article on the matter that explained the whole concept a bit more clear to me: www.animatorisland.com/tips-fo…

And here are a few video's that dive into the subject: www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsdkhQ… www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LkkhS… www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlKRNm…

It's a difficult subject to pin down mostly because I think it relies on very subtle changes in lines and proportions. The best advice I can give is to draw a lot from observation; drawing real objects and figures as accurately as you can can help a lot with your sense of what looks 'real' rather than a flat drawing. And experiment a lot; if you've always drawn your arms or legs a certain way; just go crazy sometimes and just sketch a whole lot of different ways to portray them. Experimentation and trial-and-error can be a great teacher if you're critical in examining the resulting images and try to learn why one looks better than the other. 

Hope this helps; again it's a tricky subject, that's really difficult to "get" on a theoretical level, because most of it is just experience and 'feeling/knowing' what looks right. If I can give any more advice it would be to worry about your larger forms and proportions before you start to worry about the smaller details. Small details are great, but they won't save a drawing that's fundamentally broken on their upper/lower body ratio or arms-to-body ratio. Feel free to ask any more questions if you have any! Would be happy to help!

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pawcanada In reply to EduartBoudewijn [2017-09-28 08:11:52 +0000 UTC]

One of my biggest issues with the "stiff" critique is how vague it is. As I said before, I never understand what it means when people use it and on the few occasions where I've asked them to elaborate they've either been unable to answer me, or give a solution that I don't personally feel is helpful or makes sense, so I thank you for taking the time to explain it, even if you feel if it isn't the correct one for this piece. I'll admit I never considered it could be due to the piece looking flat, but you may be right in that sense. I have noticed the issue in a few of my more recent pieces, but like a lot of issues, I don't tend to see it until the piece itself is finished, so it's usually too late for me to resolve it. Thinking about it, I do feel I may need to start looking a how I can add volume to a piece so I've saved those videos for future viewing; thanks for sharing them.

I know you can get various figures and models that can help with poses, but so far I've yet to find one that I feel is beneficial. I have a pose mannequin that I almost never use as I'm unable to easily make the pose I want with it. For example, I can't bend the knee past around 70 - 90 degrees as it will just spring back, so in turn, I don't really bother using it. That being said, maybe it is something I should use more as it would better convey the 3D shape of the body better than a reference pose, even if I can't get it to properly replicate it. I've also been thinking about getting one of the SH Figuarts "Body-Kun" models as I know they tend to be more possible.

"If I can give any more advice it would be to worry about your larger forms and proportions before you start to worry about the smaller details. Small details are great, but they won't save a drawing that's fundamentally broken on their upper/lower body ratio or arms-to-body ratio."

That is something I wholeheartedly agree with. It's why I have a "I won't worry about X until I am comfortable with Y" mentality. I've been working on importing my anatomy and proportions for a while, wanting to get it to a point where I can get the rough size and proportions rather than the correct shape of them.

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EduartBoudewijn In reply to pawcanada [2017-09-28 09:26:47 +0000 UTC]

I don't think it's a bad point to make; but just leaving it at that isn't all that useful. It's an observation that at least is a bit better than just "it looks bad", but it doesn't go much further than that. It's tough though, I can understand that. The first part of a critique is observation; just looking at what feels off, which is the easiest step. In my opinion a good critique then goes on to analyse and explain how they came to this observation and if necessary supply suggestions to improve upon these issues. Not only does this help the creator of the piece, but it also trains the observation skills of the commenter, which is an important skill for any artist, so I see writing valuable comments like a challenge to improve my own observation skills for my own work as well. 

Like I said I'm still wrestling a lot with this issue myself, but I'm happy to share what I've learned on the matter myself and I do feel like over time my drawings are starting to look less flat. I do have one of those wooden models myself as well and often I run into the problem of not being able to pose it properly. I do think there are some digital versions that may be easier to pose: graphicdesign.stackexchange.co…

Otherwise it's always valuable to take the pose yourself, either photograph yourself for a reference or just to feel how the pose works. When you imitate a pose yourself you can feel if a pose feels natural, strong, weak when you take it and how different forces apply to different parts of your body. 

If you focus on everything at once you're actually not focused on anything at all. If you focus properly on an area to improve upon it'll be way easier to get better at that specific thing. Beware though not to fall in the trap of thinking it has to be perfect before you move on to something else. Nothing is ever perfect and it doesn't have to be. Just focus on getting better than you were before. And keep rotating what aspects you are working on. If you have perfect (or near-perfect) anatomy but you haven't ever focused on posing or gestures your drawings will still look very lifeless and unappealing even if the anatomy looks great. But now I think I'm just rambling a bit off-topic  

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pawcanada In reply to EduartBoudewijn [2017-09-28 09:47:54 +0000 UTC]

I guess I'm a little jaded because I so often see "It's stiff", then the commenter leaves it at that, assuming I know what that means but I'm left there clueless. I see it like finding someone tied against a tree in a desert and dying of thirst, so you put a glass of water in front of them and walk off. You've "helped" in the sense you've put the water in front of them but you've done nothing to help them reach it. I completely second what you've said that the first part of the critique is looking for the issue, and then you need to expand on it so the artist can both see the issue themselves and understand how to fix it. And, in turn, I second what you've said about developing your own observation skills. As mentioned at the start, I was able to see a number of issues myself once the piece was finished that I'd have perhaps overlooked before I took to offering criticism via Project Comment.

I've seen a few digital mannequins myself which I've thought of working with, but the impression I got from your last reply was more needing to see the dimensions of a physical model so I could better grasp it's actual shape. I'll admit I've almost never tried making the pose myself but that is a good suggestion. I doubt I could capture a photo of it (I live alone) but I could stand in front of mirrors to try and see it better.

That's my thoughts as well. I have encountered some people who think otherwise and while I respect their opinion, I personally disagree with it. I once likened it to weight lifting at the gym; it is better to reduce the weight and master the form and technique than up the weights so you're "lifting more" but doing it poorly. Though you are right that sooner or later you need to move onto something else, though working out when is the key. I've always seen it as "when people stop saying __ is bad, then I can move on".

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EduartBoudewijn In reply to pawcanada [2017-09-28 10:00:53 +0000 UTC]

I'm personally not the greatest fan of the mannequins myself; I only really use them when I'm really stumped on a particular pose. It just helps to put the construction blocks in place in a good way; after that they're not all that helpful. But of course to each their own, some people really swear by them. I use myself as a reference pretty often (I live alone as well) through a mirror or just for my hands or feet. 

Glad you found my critique helpful! Like I said earlier; I'm eager to see the digital version of this pose (if you're doing one) and your other future works! Keep up the good work  

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pawcanada In reply to EduartBoudewijn [2017-09-28 10:06:07 +0000 UTC]

I think I'd have more fondness for them if I could actually get them in the pose I wanted. If I can't position one in a jumping knee strike with the leg bent back on itself (for example), then it's not as helpful.

I am planning to, though I think I will re-draw this piece traditionally first before I do. I have one other "first version" I want to draw next, then I plan to re-draw the four pieces with the feedback I've received and then do the digital version off of them.

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KawaiiNekoMangaka823 [2017-09-27 04:31:31 +0000 UTC]

Hello, I'm from ProjectComment   I hope I can help your art improve and grow. This is a very nice start to a later great piece. To start, she looks very stiff. To make it look like she was really going to strike someone/something, there should be movement shown , such as her hair flowing to the opposite direction of the sword she is handling, and the wrap around her waist would probably be flowing as well. The hands look good, though, the thumbs could use a little work... I know hands are hard though and thumbs are something I constantly struggle with. The positioning is a bit awkward because her legs face forward, in a way, but her breast and arm face the opposite direction in a sort of awkward way. I do like, however, how she is looking the way her left heel,is pointing, which sort of drags tension, in a way. The sword is nice but the very bottom line is a bit wobbly... Do you do sketches before finalizing the outlines with ink? It's helpful when you do one so your lines are straighter. The shoes/boots look a bit edged, especially at the awkward point of her heel of her right foot. I hope I helped... I tried not to repeat things already told to you. Have a great rest of your day!

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pawcanada In reply to KawaiiNekoMangaka823 [2017-09-27 07:28:06 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for your comment

Stiffness has always been an annoying issue for me. You're not the first person to bring it up but few ever really explain why the piece is stiff and how to fix the problem. It never crossed my mind to have the hair move (in general I always draw it static) though I'll admit I had the sash rest against her leg as in the past I've had pieces of cloth like that flapping in the opposite direction to the "flow" of the piece, so I though having it rest like that would be a good counter. In turn though, I think I could see how they could help combat the stiffness. Outside of the hair and sash, what would you do to combat stiffness in this piece?

Hands and thumbs are something I keep meaning to come back to and work more on more.

I'm afraid I'm not sure what you mean by "The positioning is a bit awkward because her legs face forward, in a way, but her breast and arm face the opposite direction in a sort of awkward way". This piece was loosely based off of both Robina 19  as well as a friends take on the pose and while I can maybe see the way the breasts are angled looks different from the models I thought I otherwise captured the way they were facing in my piece.

Yes, I do draw all my pieces as sketches and in pencil before I finished it. As I mentioned in my artist comments for this piece and many others, it's not uncommon for the inking pen to slip and go off on a tangent that goes against the pencil lines, the bottom of the hilt. That being said, if by "the very bottom line" you mean the hilt and where it touches the hand, I do agree with you that it is crushed although I can't remember if this was due to how I drew the pencil lines or the inking pen.

Can you please elaborate on what you mean by "the shoes/boots look a bit edged", and by "her heel of her right foot", do you mean the foot on the stage left of the piece? If so, looking at it now, I can see what you mean about there being an edge to it.

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KawaiiNekoMangaka823 In reply to pawcanada [2017-09-27 17:55:33 +0000 UTC]

 

First of all, I am very sorry, I am a bit bad at explaining things sometimes so here's a clarification:

As for how to fix and combat the stiffness further, make sure her torso has a bit more of a swing to it, because the sword does look a bit heavy and if you were to swing something heavy, your hips and torso wouldn't look as still, although, I'm thinking a bit outside the box now... You could add action lines as to where the sword is coming from to add more motion and make the figure look as if it has "loosened up" a bit, if you know what I mean, and add a bit more drama to the subject... Adding more of a. Facial expression would also help make her look less stiff and add a bit more meaning to the drawing itself. If you think it's a good idea, you can do a trial-and-error sketch to where the sash flows in the opposite direction of the motion, in the same direction of the motion, and just still to see what you like best. 

I do do see what you mean by how you got confused... I guess I found it a bit hard to describe what I was seeing and how too fix it, but I found out how to describe it now. The legs book a bit straight, and if you look to the imgur picture that you based your work off of, the figure's right leg (or your left) seems to make it look like it squatted down more, when your drawing's leg looks more as if it's at a 90 degree angle, which makes it look a bit awkward... She also appears to have little or no hip or bum (which is something I still sort of struggle with too. You're not alone) compared to the reference. And I know you were making the pose your own, which I admire very much from you, but I am using the reference picture to kind of help me describe what I'm trying to help you with  

For the breast(s), I think it was just a bit confusing for me to explain because the torso is very still and straight, when if she was swinging the sword, it would be more bent over and her hip, again, would stick out more to the opposite side of where she was swinging. Her breast looked very sharp, which drags attention to it, so next time maybe smoothen it out a bit and make it more rounded. 

The sword ore I just got confused on. I look at it again and it looks better... I didn't realize that the top line was curved, so I thought the curve of the hilt looked weird... I know very well that once you ink, there's no going back unless you have whiteout (which I strongly recommend if you have somewhat shaky hands like me ). Maybe make quick-ish lines to make the line look straighter because although the curve I realize is now normal, I saw a bit of wobble in the line where it was supposed to be straight (as seen in blue in the picture). Not that it matters TOO much, but I'm very strict about the line work I do in drawings. If I have a shaky line, I feel obligated to do it all over again. Not that you have to though! Just a recommendation!

As for the shoes/boots, no, I meant stage right, sorry. I circled in red what I meant as to where the heel awkwardly comes to a point when usually it would come to a slight curve and straighten out (again, this is also a place I severely struggle in... I usually avoid drawing feet and shoes as much as I can because I suck at drawing them, but I really admire you for getting out of your comfort zone and drawing things that may not turn out as well as you expected it to... Those feet are coming for me though and it's just another obstacle I'll have to conquer) As circled in yellow, there's a little pointed indent in the foot, which I'd smoothen out and not make it go in so far, and lastly her left foot (this time stage left, or your right), as circled in purple, looks a bit like a sock and I'd round it out more... Again, it may be just a wobbly line, and that's always okay.

i appreciate you're understanding and working with me, and I really admire how much you are working toward trying to improve. Keep working at it, and I know you will only be able to improve. I believe in you... you don't have to listen to every word of advice I give you, but this is just from my standpoint and what I'd do if it was my drawing. If you have any more questions, feel free to notify me, and send me any other work you do if you'd like me to help you with it... If yo7 want further explanation, I can show you how I kind of incision it by drawing it myself using the character you developed, just to help with further explanation and reference, but it probably won't turn out perfect either. Thanks again, and I'm very glad I could help!!!  

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pawcanada In reply to KawaiiNekoMangaka823 [2017-09-28 08:34:35 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for taking the time to elaborate.

I don't know if I see her looking like she's swinging the sword, more bracing herself in an attack stance, so I don't feel having motion lines on the piece would help as much. I'd also argue that having her loosen up may not work either as I feel she needs a strong stance to support the weight of the sword as she holds it. Did you get the impression she had or was about to swing the sword, rather than being in an attack stance? I wonder if maybe that's why you feel it's stiff; you're expecting motion to be there when I never planned for it to begin with.

I think I can see what you mean in relation to the leg my friend drew vs the one I drew. As I said to someone else, I do have a habit of getting an idea of what I think the references look like in my mind but never double or triple check my interpretation often leading to deviating from it. Comparing the two again, I can see what you mean about the feet and agree his version was better. I'll admit I do envision this character with a petite, slim frame so she may not have much of an obvious bum and/or hips, and I don't think I drew them much because I felt the jacket and sash hid that side of her body, but I agree they should have been more prevalent. I do feel the shorts "ate up" a large chunk of her lower figure as I feel I made them too bulky, so that may not help. And while I also see her breasts as being perky, I agree they do look a little pointy now I look at them again, although that could be done more to the pen having a mind of it's own rather than something intentional.

No problem. I hadn't noticed the wonky line until you highlighted it just now. Because of how final inking is, I do try and to be careful with my hand so I am likely very unconfident as I am worried I will make a mistake only to then ironically make one. I tend to draw quick lines when I draw the piece digitally, but I tend to overshoot my mark as a result, so if I did that when inking I'd argue the lines would look worse. Maybe when I am better at my digital quick lines I can then transfer that skill over to my inking process. As for starting over, I am a believer in "done is better than perfect". I've had many pictures get stuck half finished because they aren't "perfect", and I feel it's better to accept the flaws, finish the piece and move onto the next, rather than never finishing anything because of all the flaws. That's not to say one should accept mediocre art; you should still put in your best. This piece itself was an example of one that remained unfinished for a month because it wasn't "perfect" and while I am not happy with the piece, I am glad it is done so I could move on.

I can see what you mean about the heel now and agree it does come to an awkward point. I too hate drawing feet but I keep pushing myself to do so as I know I won't learn if I avoid them. I'm not sure I can quite see what you've highlighted in yellow. I think I MIGHT see a small line at the "ninety degree angle" (as I don't know the proper name or way to describe it) but I think that is more another example of the inking pen slipping and adding in unwanted detailing. I do agree with the part you've circled in purple. I drew that in two halves and didn't quite line them up properly when I did so.

Thank you once again for going into more detail. I feel I now better understand some of the things you were trying to say.

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KawaiiNekoMangaka823 In reply to pawcanada [2017-10-01 20:51:47 +0000 UTC]

Oh, okay. I was thinking that the character was swinging the sword or readying an attack which made me anticipate motion in the piece, but now that you have further explained it, the drawing looks much more realistic. You have also opened my eyes into the point to where some things are better done than perfect, and that not all drawings have to be perfect, and again, like you, I absolutely HATE redrawing things just to make sure it looks better; only if there's been a significant improvement in my drawing ability and skill will I redraw something. I do understand what it feels like to have the pen not work and sort of have a mind of its own, so just know you're not alone. You're very welcome for clearing things up and I'm glad I could help. Again, you don't have to take any of the advice I give. It's just my insight on what I'd do if it was my drawing. I love your unique style, though! Keep it up!

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pawcanada In reply to KawaiiNekoMangaka823 [2017-10-01 21:14:31 +0000 UTC]

That's fine. It was based off the two references I mentioned before and as I saw it showing the character in a battle stance rather than swinging an attack, that's what I conveyed here.

I'm glad to hear it, as I feel more need to hear it. I first heard of "done is better than perfect" in this video , and while I recommend watching the whole thing, the quote and an explanation/example starts at 3 minutes and 36 seconds . After hearing this explanation, I realised how futile it is constantly re-starting a half finished piece over and over to make it "perfect". The example of "snowboarders waiting to do jumps" is appropriate as I did snowboarding for a bit myself a few years back and would always be scared by the tricks and grinds I'd do, until I just said "Screw it! I'm going". Even if I poorly handled the grind and fell, I'd learn from my mistake, get back up and try again, and that's how I feel about art. I have a large number of unfinished pieces from 2014 and 2015 that fell into this trap and it wasn't until I started completing a piece that I felt I was able to improve. Maybe not by much in the grand scheme of things, but more so than I was doing before. As the video said, what I produce now will be better than the art I used to think was "perfect", and the art I'll produce in a years time will be better than the "perfect" art I make now.

No problem, and I'm glad you like my style . I'm hoping to re-draw this piece soon, along with a few others to try and incorporate some of the feedback I've had before I move onto the "final" stage for all three.

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KawaiiNekoMangaka823 In reply to pawcanada [2017-10-01 21:52:38 +0000 UTC]

Good. Thank you for cooperating with me!  

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pawcanada In reply to KawaiiNekoMangaka823 [2017-10-02 07:18:52 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome .

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Fluffy-fez [2017-09-24 15:16:44 +0000 UTC]

hey I'm from

So I'd like to prelude this critique by saying that I like how you based this character off a preexisting piece. You adapted the concept into your art nicely, and I would like to give you credit for that.
However, there are some obvious flaws in your art that you did not identify in the description.

The main problem being anatomy. Granted, it's no the worst, but it does have obvious flaws. Like, how the elbows bend stiffly. I understand if you have a more geometric style, to go for hard-edged elbows, but the underside of the elbow is curvy and off puts the bend. more geometric example: photo.designxel.com/static/vec… more curvy art style example: i.pinimg.com/736x/44/b4/b2/44b…
Just saying, using such a stiff bend, and not having much understanding about arm anatomy makes it look amateur and it could probably help a lot to have consistency amongst your lines.
Also, the anatomy greatly damages the understand of clothes. Because you anatomy is so stiff, you managed to also make you cloth look stiff. This is greatly shown in the legs. The legs are shown as being apart, but there is no cloth being stretched between the legs. Same goes for the shirt, and the jacket. There is simply no dynamic movement in the cloth, making the character look more stiff and uninteresting. Example: cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0192…

Speaking of dynamic stuff in artwork, your line art is really flat. Personally speaking, I like traditional artwork with line thickness variation. Granted, I know this is a nitpick, and it could just be showing style, but I would suggest maybe looking into it.

Lastly, the face. You went over how you may've made the head too small, but I think the problem lies in the fact that you made the neck about as thick as the face. Also the neck shows no connection with the arm/shoulders and lacks understanding anatomy. Also, the face is looking forward, but the no is at a 3/4 angle. And the hair isn't as "flowy" as I feel it should be. Usually the hair has a bit more volume on the top of the head, and you could show more flowy hair around the head, maybe even have fun with it. Example: i.pinimg.com/736x/38/f2/8a/38f…

Okay, so that's all what I have to say. Remember, this this just my opinion, and is only meant to help you. But I do love this art, and hope to see you improve and submit to projectcomment in the future.

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pawcanada In reply to Fluffy-fez [2017-09-24 21:07:11 +0000 UTC]

Missed your part about the neck in my earlier reply. I hadn't noticed how thick it was until you mentioned it, and I definitely agree with you. For a while now I have been been wondering if I've been drawing necks too thick, so will look into rectifying it. I can also see what you mean about it not connecting to the arms as well. While that is something I've been working on in a lot of my practise and daily sketches, I agree it's not really clear here. I think it was me thinking it wouldn't be visible due to the position of the arms and her jacket, but looking at both the reference pieces I credited, I can see something should have been there, at least partially.

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pawcanada In reply to Fluffy-fez [2017-09-24 15:51:47 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for your comment.

I can see what you mean in relation to her clothes, especially the shorts. I'll admit clothing folds are something I've mostly ignored, as my approach to learning had always been more in stages; master X before attempting Y. With what you've said in mind, perhaps I should look into it more. Likewise I can see what you mean about the face and agree now that the nose doesn't match the way she is facing. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

However, I can't say I can see the stiffness in her elbow bends. Seeing stiffness in general has been a long issue of mine to begin with which may be why I'm struggling. Looking at it and the examples again, I do wonder if it's maybe more the roundness of the elbows rather than the point of the examples, but otherwise I would appreciate more of a clarification and elaboration.

Line thickness is something I've heard of before but I'll admit it's another example of something I've purposefully ignored in favour of other priorities. I'll admit it's not something I fully understand either, both in terms of the point of it and how to do it. I've heard some say it's similar to shading, which is something else I've yet to master. Additionally, I do view traditional pieces as wips, so even if I were to do any line thickness, it would be saved for the final version, like the shading.

Thank you once again for giving me your thoughts and opinion. It has given me some areas to think more on.

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Fluffy-fez In reply to pawcanada [2017-09-24 17:08:08 +0000 UTC]

As for the elbows, it just seems stiff as far as anatomy, and it just looked off to me. Elaboration: 

as far as line thickness, there tends to be more line thickness in shaded places but isn't the same as shading.
And glad I could help in some way, hope you have a nice day.

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pawcanada In reply to Fluffy-fez [2017-09-24 19:53:01 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the elaboration. I agree that the shape of the elbow is off, especially when looking at your example and re-draw. I do tend to draw a stick figure with circles when working on the pose so I need to make the elbow joint smaller moving forward.

Okay. I'll admit shading is still a weak point for me (I get the principle but don't always know how best to add it) so if I do look into thick lines, it'll likely be after I master shading, though I'll admit I don't personally understand what it adds to the piece. To each their own I suppose.

And thanks; you too.

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Fluffy-fez In reply to pawcanada [2017-09-25 01:13:04 +0000 UTC]

this could probably help with anatomy: www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KL0hc…
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DoCI8…

and shading is honestly pretty easy to learn, just practice and look at some tutorials and it'll be easy to get down.

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pawcanada In reply to Fluffy-fez [2017-09-25 04:35:54 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

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Codebreak33 [2017-09-19 00:33:27 +0000 UTC]

Your anatomy is really good!

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pawcanada In reply to Codebreak33 [2017-09-19 07:16:17 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. Anatomy has been a focus of mine for a while.

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Codebreak33 In reply to pawcanada [2017-09-19 09:23:53 +0000 UTC]

Same here. I've yet to get it properly right.

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pawcanada In reply to Codebreak33 [2017-09-19 09:31:55 +0000 UTC]

It is hard. I found the Andrew Loomis book "Figure drawing for all it's worth" extremely helpful so I highly recommend it.

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Codebreak33 In reply to pawcanada [2017-09-19 11:25:04 +0000 UTC]

*gets net* time to go book hunting.

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pawcanada In reply to Codebreak33 [2017-09-19 12:09:12 +0000 UTC]

Hope it's helpful.

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Galo27 [2017-09-18 15:18:50 +0000 UTC]

I like the proportions, you got that, but I think you need to work the arms, shoulders and her face (I´m pretty sure that her eyes are not aligned)
The pose is okay and I really like that sword jaja. 

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pawcanada In reply to Galo27 [2017-09-18 15:22:27 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you like the sword, though I can't take credit for it. It was originally designed by my friend @toonatist on Mewrah , and even then I didn't fully capture all of the design and detailing he drew.

I hadn't noticed the eyes were misaligned until you mentioned it, but you are right.

What do you feel needs working on in regards to the shoulders and arms? I'll admit I do envision this character as being toned and slightly muscular, which wasn't really conveyed in the piece I drew, but I was wondering what else you feel needs to be worked on.

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Galo27 In reply to pawcanada [2017-09-18 15:32:44 +0000 UTC]

Mhh, I think that they look a little soft... I don´t know how to say it xD english is not my first language jaja. Maybe you need to define more the arms, you know, like the muscular tone. 
Sorry, I can´t be more clear xP

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pawcanada In reply to Galo27 [2017-09-18 15:55:20 +0000 UTC]

Ahhh okay, no worries. I had considered making them more muscular in the next version so I'll make sure I focus on that.

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RedRidah [2017-09-16 20:56:28 +0000 UTC]

I'd say particularly the top half. Shoulders need to be more defined. You got the proportions of the top half done well with regards to the top half. But the bottom half is too big in comparison I'd say.

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pawcanada In reply to RedRidah [2017-09-16 20:59:54 +0000 UTC]

I think I get what you mean about the shoulders need to be more definited, and the more I look at it, the more I agree with about the bottom half being too big.

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RedRidah [2017-09-15 18:52:47 +0000 UTC]

Tough pose there. I'd say if you upscale the top half you'd have great proportions. I'd increase it by roughly 20% in parts. Then tone out the arms and shorten the thighs ever so slightly. Doing great IMHO.

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pawcanada In reply to RedRidah [2017-09-16 20:03:29 +0000 UTC]

Now you mention it, I do think the legs may be a little bigger/thicker than I wanted, but then I think I made the shorts too wide in general. I also feel the head might be a little too small. Are there any areas you feel would most benefit from the 20% increase? I agree the arms need more of a tone, as she is a slightly muscular character.

Thanks again for your comment and support .

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