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PeterJK — Life
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Published: 2007-04-11 14:19:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 209; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 1
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Description
Life,A burden or a blessing,
It comes in many forms
And messes us up,
Each in different ways:
Fall in love,
Fall from grace,
Or fail in faith.
Build up,
Or build down,
You still come crashing.
It's not fair and true,
But that hardly matters,
When it's happening to you
And not others.
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Comments: 21
I love this. It has been a while since I saw a formed poem like this. It is great!
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I agree, we need more like it
does a lot like it, but hes gone off for travels which is a shame
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I like this my only criticism is that the emotion or tone isn't protrayed very well.
Great use of form though, add very much to the effect while reading and adds an...different perspective to the piece.
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thanks for being constructive, i'll work on it =]
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Great piece. I certainly agree with you.
I'd say add a little more, but I suggest leaving the last four lines for the very, very end. They close the poem out beautifully.
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I love it, and it's perfect feeling unfinished...it's part of the nature of life....
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I guess, but people arent interested in finished poems in ways, they find it annoying,
i'll keep this version on anyhow, and if i can finish it i will, but it may just stay like that...
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Okay, either way, I'm sure it will be great....they always are.
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its nice the way it is, but you could add just a little more.
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yeah, you need to write more, it feels like it's left off and unfinished...
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I agree, it does feel unfinished. But i like what you've got going so far. ^-^
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