Comments: 21
Red-banner In reply to TahniJNikitins [2011-07-22 01:52:00 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for the comment! I'll change what you pointed out, ahaha @u@.
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WaterColorSeaStar [2011-07-18 00:56:12 +0000 UTC]
Very well interpreted. o u o I love the beginning bit about the pencil.
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Ixona [2011-07-17 09:42:12 +0000 UTC]
Well... This sure is interesting... The woman seems very confident and yet emotional... Can't rly rmbr when was the last time is saw anyone like that... An interesting piece.
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Red-banner In reply to Ixona [2011-07-17 18:27:42 +0000 UTC]
I feel that that is an under-appreciated characterisation, it can work out very well for many characters.
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Ixona In reply to Red-banner [2011-07-18 05:04:40 +0000 UTC]
True, true...
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GiadaDeo [2011-07-17 09:28:32 +0000 UTC]
Interesting piece.
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Red-banner In reply to GiadaDeo [2011-07-17 18:26:29 +0000 UTC]
Glad you found it interesting!
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DarthVengeance0325 [2011-07-17 00:09:14 +0000 UTC]
Huh. I don't usually associate exhaustion and confusion with zealous, but I may be misinterpreting her.
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eylookturkeys [2011-07-16 23:19:41 +0000 UTC]
I think ambiguousness is overrated.
You've got some great stuff going in here. The beginning is fantastic: it's a great hook, and the imagery is perfect. "Valleys and mountains shaped by teeth?" It's the perfect description of a chewed pencil. I mean, call me overzealous (no pun intended, I promise), but that image gave me the "good-writing" tingles.
The character's action and movements are very relatable, as well. The pencil, the teeth, the glasses - you really brought her to life.
Obviously it's just a first draft, but I think it's a great start. Well done!
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Red-banner In reply to eylookturkeys [2011-07-17 18:26:17 +0000 UTC]
Subtlety is a great tool, though.
Thank you! I wasn't completely sure about the allegory, so I'm very glad it worked out for you! I'm also very happy that the beginning was interesting, I work really hard on starting pieces. Once I've started, I can go on and on, but it's just hard to find a suitable lead.
Haha, thanks. Small details can shape a character very well, I think.
It is still a first draft, so thank you for the comments!
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HeartofSnow [2011-07-16 23:06:41 +0000 UTC]
It's very surreal. then again, most of your work is.
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Red-banner In reply to HeartofSnow [2011-07-17 03:08:38 +0000 UTC]
Haha, my work isn't that surreal, is it?
... Is it?
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JohnAndreButler [2011-07-16 21:35:12 +0000 UTC]
I get it, anxiousness to complete her task to the point that she seems rushed by everyone else. koo.
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