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riparii — Salt
Published: 2013-02-03 23:11:14 +0000 UTC; Views: 803; Favourites: 30; Downloads: 2
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Description Before you were ready
you took to the sea
and I smiled at you
with the fine white teeth
of a shark

Before I was ready
your hands harbored me
in deep water and stars
where my wrinkled soul
swaying and slow
opened its foam-grey eyes
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Comments: 47

Tearcawd [2013-10-20 13:37:14 +0000 UTC]

"in deep water and stars
where my wrinkled soul
swaying and slow
..."

This part really appeals to me, about the swaying slow. Reminds of the work of John Bauer for some reason. Something about the way the words sound and the story they portray. Well done.

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riparii In reply to Tearcawd [2013-10-21 21:46:13 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much, and I will have a look at John Bauer's work.

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Gwenvar [2013-08-12 12:39:54 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful! :3

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riparii In reply to Gwenvar [2013-08-12 15:28:37 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

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Gwenvar In reply to riparii [2013-08-12 18:31:10 +0000 UTC]

Anytime .

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indaluna [2013-05-19 16:38:30 +0000 UTC]

this
is
so beautiful
wowoowowow

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riparii In reply to indaluna [2013-05-20 11:25:05 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, indaluna.

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IntelligentZombie [2013-04-14 19:55:23 +0000 UTC]

Hi! I used the title of your poem in a found poem made of titles! You can find it here: [link] And just let me know if you'd like me to take it out!

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riparii In reply to IntelligentZombie [2013-04-15 01:51:14 +0000 UTC]

Goodness I wouldn't want you to do that!

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Hijinxd [2013-04-02 05:55:14 +0000 UTC]

i got ocean love for this one. <3

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pomohippie7 [2013-03-27 20:29:27 +0000 UTC]

Your wonderful work has been showcased here, dear: [link]

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leyghan [2013-02-17 22:02:29 +0000 UTC]

Hi lovely, I incorporated the title of your wonderful poem in a poem of my own. It's for the found poem challenge using titles of other deviations. - [link]

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craazhy [2013-02-12 03:34:10 +0000 UTC]

It flirts with the mind like music and stains the eyes like a painting.

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riparii In reply to craazhy [2013-02-13 13:19:11 +0000 UTC]

Oh, beautifully put, thanks you.

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pseudometry [2013-02-11 21:42:54 +0000 UTC]

This has some delectable imagery--particularly fine white shark teeth and foam-grey eyes, though I'm also fond of the deep water and stars. Nicely evocative. Makes me want to head to the sea

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riparii In reply to pseudometry [2013-02-13 13:19:33 +0000 UTC]

I always want to head to the sea though it rarely happens.
Thanks.

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pseudometry In reply to riparii [2013-02-13 19:21:02 +0000 UTC]

I know that feeling. Though with several beaches within a half-hours drive, I really have no excuse...

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indiana-w [2013-02-08 08:36:27 +0000 UTC]

Amazing.

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riparii In reply to indiana-w [2013-02-08 13:53:10 +0000 UTC]

I wouldn't say exactly that, but thanks, Indiana.

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RestlessSands [2013-02-05 04:34:33 +0000 UTC]

i love this.

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riparii In reply to RestlessSands [2013-02-05 16:17:48 +0000 UTC]

Thanks you.

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vespera [2013-02-04 23:11:03 +0000 UTC]

Before I was ready
to comment, I swear
I'd encountered such words
before



(this is lovely)

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riparii In reply to vespera [2013-02-05 16:17:31 +0000 UTC]

I steal from that bitch all the time.

Thank you Raquel.

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vespera In reply to riparii [2013-02-06 00:16:15 +0000 UTC]

I hope you remember to kick her and take her milk money, too

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riparii In reply to vespera [2013-02-06 02:27:29 +0000 UTC]

You should see what I say about her on Facebook too.

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vespera In reply to riparii [2013-02-06 02:28:40 +0000 UTC]

I bet that really keeps her in her place

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riparii In reply to vespera [2013-02-06 02:39:23 +0000 UTC]

Won't sit with her at lunch either.

On a tangential note, my niece unfriended her own (21-year-old) son
on Facebook because he kept posting stuff that freaked her out and she
couldn't keep from bitching at him for it and then he would get pissed
at her for butting in, speaking of butts, and so, she just went ahead
and unfriended him.
His very own mother.
These Modern Times.
Just thought I'd share that.

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vespera In reply to riparii [2013-02-20 03:49:29 +0000 UTC]

my mom wasn't sure if she wanted to be friends with all us kids on FB originally - but it's like, ma, I'm not going to incriminate myself at that public of a level. now we all FB and it's good fun - but oh yes, I have friends who I would be horrified if their parents were watching them.

Unfriending him sounds like a necessary evil. Good mothers make these hard choices.

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FuzzyHoser [2013-02-04 18:52:09 +0000 UTC]

foam-grey eyes

I love that so much.
This is so gentle and sweet. Beautiful.

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riparii In reply to FuzzyHoser [2013-02-05 16:17:05 +0000 UTC]

Aw. Thank you Rachel.
Someday I'll write something raw-edged and gritty.
But not anytime soon.

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FuzzyHoser In reply to riparii [2013-02-05 16:20:28 +0000 UTC]

I don't reckon there's anything the matter with sweet and gentle. I kinda like grey-eyed things, ya know. A lot. They're kinda my most favoritest things.

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riparii In reply to FuzzyHoser [2013-02-05 16:26:18 +0000 UTC]

You've got a perfect blend of grit and sweet/gentle in your writing.
One of the reasons I like it so much.
Brown eyes are nice. I'm sure you like brown eyes too.

[link]

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FuzzyHoser In reply to riparii [2013-02-05 16:30:18 +0000 UTC]

You're flattering me madly, Katie. You better stop it or I'm gonna be a mess to handle today.

My Casey Bear! (: Yes, I am quite in love with that little gal's eyes. She went with me and Heather to town last night to get milkshakes. Best friend, that one.

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riparii In reply to FuzzyHoser [2013-02-05 16:31:00 +0000 UTC]

What flavor did she get?

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FuzzyHoser In reply to riparii [2013-02-05 16:33:28 +0000 UTC]

She got a wee taste of strawberry before I realized it.

...and Heather may have given her a fingertip tasting of chocolate. Hehe...

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riparii In reply to FuzzyHoser [2013-02-06 02:34:08 +0000 UTC]

Good girls.

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FuzzyHoser In reply to riparii [2013-02-06 14:54:38 +0000 UTC]

Sometimes.

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oviedomedina [2013-02-04 01:11:56 +0000 UTC]

The last stanza is beautiful.

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riparii In reply to oviedomedina [2013-02-04 04:01:17 +0000 UTC]

I'm happy you think so, thanks.

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alapip [2013-02-03 23:49:20 +0000 UTC]

"and the days dwindle down to a precious few..."

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riparii In reply to alapip [2013-02-04 04:04:58 +0000 UTC]

All too apt.
Thank you pip.

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alapip In reply to riparii [2013-02-04 13:25:35 +0000 UTC]

yup...

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glossolalias [2013-02-03 23:43:01 +0000 UTC]

beautiful imagery.

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riparii In reply to glossolalias [2013-02-04 04:01:52 +0000 UTC]

Thank you Jorge, I appreciate that.

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catch---22 [2013-02-03 23:22:22 +0000 UTC]

for some reason it made me think of the song "looking east" (jackson browne - david lindley)

well done Katie.

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riparii In reply to catch---22 [2013-02-04 04:04:00 +0000 UTC]

Ah, that's not one I was familiar with.
I hope Jackson Browne lives forever.
Thank you catch.

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catch---22 In reply to riparii [2013-02-04 13:35:55 +0000 UTC]

lol it looks as if he might... you're welcome!

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