HOME | DD

Description
hmmm here's a wip!!! I've been in kind of a stressful spot lately and today was just... really not good for me ahaha so it's a vent thing. anyway I did churn this out and I'm quite happy with it so I'll finish it if I ever get the time!!

anyway yeah I am a little bit overwhelmed with schoolwork. I took a way over the recommended number of AP and sensibly recommended extracurriculars and the more that work from that piles up, the more panicked I am about doing everything well. but I'm also just really exhausted and totally spent every day, and I can never get enough sleep even on the weekends (competitions and appointments and just.. not falling asleep smh). and it's very hard to feel motivated to do the things you have to do, so I've started to just... sort of retreat from everything and curl into myself you know??? I don't really want to talk to anybody or do anything. tbh even watching my favorite shows is kind of too much an effort. so I've been reading a lot of books and mindlessly shooting things on warframe when I have the time to spare. shrug. in essence I've kind of been avoiding the social aspect of the internet (I play warframe solo as much as possible <: D) and maybe that's not the best way to be but. Recovery. the internet also poses the additional threat of meeting people who I am Terrified of!!! Like the ones I want to block but do not block because I need to know what they are doing and if that puts me at risk!!! aaaa. and I am also lonely all the time. that is a plus. I really really want a best friend in close proximity because my bff lives 90 miles away and I really want to hug her because I miss her so much??? And lauren lives like 500 miles away because she moved and Ditched us (how dare) and I miss her too and I do have friends right now but we're not as close as I was with kate and lauren and I just... want a sincere and deep connection that can be there and depended upon yes?? The internet is cool for keeping connected but it lacks that sort of spark that social, face to face interaction has. hjsdhfkj I miss my friends. and as an afterthought I hate that people have such high expectations for me and I wish I had the freedom to fail and not feel so mortified that I want to jump into the pacific ocean. and what is up my fellow humans

Description
hmmm here's a wip!!! I've been in kind of a stressful spot lately and today was just... really not good for me ahaha so it's a vent thing. anyway I did churn this out and I'm quite happy with it so I'll finish it if I ever get the time!!

anyway yeah I am a little bit overwhelmed with schoolwork. I took a way over the recommended number of AP and sensibly recommended extracurriculars and the more that work from that piles up, the more panicked I am about doing everything well. but I'm also just really exhausted and totally spent every day, and I can never get enough sleep even on the weekends (competitions and appointments and just.. not falling asleep smh). and it's very hard to feel motivated to do the things you have to do, so I've started to just... sort of retreat from everything and curl into myself you know??? I don't really want to talk to anybody or do anything. tbh even watching my favorite shows is kind of too much an effort. so I've been reading a lot of books and mindlessly shooting things on warframe when I have the time to spare. shrug. in essence I've kind of been avoiding the social aspect of the internet (I play warframe solo as much as possible <: D) and maybe that's not the best way to be but. Recovery. the internet also poses the additional threat of meeting people who I am Terrified of!!! Like the ones I want to block but do not block because I need to know what they are doing and if that puts me at risk!!! aaaa. and I am also lonely all the time. that is a plus. I really really want a best friend in close proximity because my bff lives 90 miles away and I really want to hug her because I miss her so much??? And lauren lives like 500 miles away because she moved and Ditched us (how dare) and I miss her too and I do have friends right now but we're not as close as I was with kate and lauren and I just... want a sincere and deep connection that can be there and depended upon yes?? The internet is cool for keeping connected but it lacks that sort of spark that social, face to face interaction has. hjsdhfkj I miss my friends. and as an afterthought I hate that people have such high expectations for me and I wish I had the freedom to fail and not feel so mortified that I want to jump into the pacific ocean. and what is up my fellow humans