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everything keeping you awake
is imposed by me
i feel so awful
that i ruined you
but that's what i do

i close my eyes
when i take the plunge
and hope i hit
the bottom
and end it all
but it never happens
and i live on

i am a destroyer
self-sabotaging
everything good
that comes into my life
and everyone good
that comes into my life
i don't know why
i can't get
a grip on
my compulsive nature
but something
has got to give

i'm slowly giving up
giving up on myself
and i fear everyone
else has already
done the same