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Rusty-Suicide — Friend, What happened?
Published: 2006-05-21 22:44:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 240; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 6
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Description Not just a figment of your imagination… Not anymore.

Date;; Unknown

Feelings;; Broken

Location;; Everywhere you wanted me to be


Dear Mariah Ashley Chinavare,

Sitting by my computer, typing this letter out I ask, "What have I done wrong?" I don't know the answer, and something inside me wants to know. What is this feeling of remorse and why do I have it? Have I done something to you to make you treat me like this? I don't think I have. No one in the whole world and beyond should feel like you are making me feel. You make me feel like someone who is dead and forgotten and if I am not dead I wish it. I wish for these feeling to go away. I want my best friend back, and I want my sister back. Do you hate me? Do you hate what I stand for? Do you hate having a best friend, and knowing that someone has you back? Do you hate that? If I asked a million and two people those questions I wouldn't care their response, I just want your answers. I want to know why this is happening, why you are doing this and I want you to know that this is the beginning of truth and the ending of lies. Can you decode yourself long enough for you to find your true feelings, other than the stereotypical feelings given to everyone? Can you? Something inside me says you can, and you will. I know you better than that. At least I did. I thought I did. I want you to know that if you come back I will forgive you if you forgive me for something I cannot remember and I can't recall. I am sorry for the lies. I am telling the truth and setting aside my pride to tell you that all is lost. I am lost. I miss you. I hope this should set things right. I wear the necklace you gave me everyday, hoping that if I see you out and about you'll see that I hold everything you've ever given me close. I loved becoming closer to you but, it seems like the happy memories are just fading away. They are fading fast, and I can't reach out a grab them even thought I am trying my hardest. I guess that all that I gave isn't enough. It's not enough to gain my real feelings back, and gain the trust of one person that I've held so dear for so many years. The one person that I could talk to when I was down, the one person that taught me something that I love and cherish, and the one person that got me into something that I pay $7.99 every month just so I can get special privileges on it (even if it's normally free). That one person also taught me not to trust anybody, which I haven't for so long. I want to learn to trust people again, but that one person won't let me. At least I had that one person for almost 13 years. Thirteen years our friendship has lasted, but when this year started the friendship started to disappear. You and I had so much in common, what happened? What happen to the fun conversations on AIM? What happened to the horrible role-plays? I've gotten a lot better, in case you ever wanted to role-play again. I miss you, by the way.  Friend, What happened?

Sincerly,
Katie
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