Comments: 22
ElderFyre [2008-10-29 16:26:12 +0000 UTC]
Meep I love the poem in the begining! Absolutely adore it. It puts a whimsical spin on God and the whole idea of him watching us and what not. Very glad you shared this with us. considering you wrote it in the submission box I do like the rest of it as well. However the middle section wasn't as captivating as the begning, but I like how to end tied back into your start. Clappers for you yet again!!! Keep writing, as always I love it.
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ElderFyre In reply to ryu-son [2008-10-30 03:19:03 +0000 UTC]
"Ithappenedithappenedithappenedbutshhh
Eloquence is such an oddity. No one ever asked for it; wanted it, sure, but prayed? It's only underrated when the studious children and lecturing teachers at school don't want to admit to liking it. It's only a curse when your muse runs out on you. The will to write, the words to write, but nothing to be written.
Nooneneedstoknowokaywe'lljustleaveitwhereitstays"
That piece. Granted I do love it, but it doesn't feel like it belongs with the poem. Just my oppinion. I do love it all though jsut not together.
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ryu-son In reply to ElderFyre [2008-10-30 15:50:01 +0000 UTC]
Okay! Thank you so much!
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ElderFyre In reply to ElderFyre [2008-10-29 16:26:34 +0000 UTC]
PS! What did you find? o.o; can I have a peice of it too? lol
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Nekomi-Minosuke [2008-10-29 02:14:20 +0000 UTC]
Lol Finally working on clearing out my list of crap xD
Love it :3 Even though it's got God in it, it's pure, and well written.
I hate how you can write so well in such short amounts of time xD
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ryu-son In reply to Nekomi-Minosuke [2008-10-29 11:32:47 +0000 UTC]
Than you! And I go in spurts. I'll write really fast and well for one hour, and then not do anything for a week. XD;;;
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Nekomi-Minosuke In reply to ryu-son [2008-10-29 14:31:09 +0000 UTC]
Hey it's better than too slow and hardly ever! XD
And you're welcome <3
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Dracawyn [2008-10-28 23:19:35 +0000 UTC]
Really cool images and I love your wording. Are you taking Mrs. Bedeaux's class yet?
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ryu-son In reply to Dracawyn [2008-10-29 00:27:48 +0000 UTC]
Next year! Thank you so much!
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thedarkmesiah [2008-10-27 00:36:03 +0000 UTC]
anything you write always comes out beautiful and i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!![link]
Obsessed[link]
Adoration
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BurstChyld [2008-10-26 19:24:13 +0000 UTC]
My last three songs were submission box...and your poem is great I really like itl...especially once it gets to the line about Arsenic.
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BurstChyld In reply to ryu-son [2008-10-27 15:58:43 +0000 UTC]
You are most welcome!
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TheBread [2008-10-26 16:48:43 +0000 UTC]
Beautiful.
(:
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ryu-son In reply to TheBread [2008-10-26 16:54:34 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much! Answer my texts! XD
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TheBread In reply to ryu-son [2008-10-26 17:16:31 +0000 UTC]
Sorry, It hasn't been on. D:
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Garnr [2008-10-26 16:39:15 +0000 UTC]
Its great ,don't worry.I `ve made all my poems in submission box.
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ryu-son In reply to Garnr [2008-10-26 16:54:57 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I'm fond of that method, it makes it seem more raw.
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Garnr In reply to ryu-son [2008-10-26 16:56:44 +0000 UTC]
np
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