Comments: 8
eriNovelist [2008-07-28 21:03:29 +0000 UTC]
can't wait for more! the only thing that was a little confusing was the conversation where the quotes were right next to each other.
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Dracawyn [2008-07-25 06:36:37 +0000 UTC]
Oh! Sorry, love. I didn't see the drafts. Am I not watching your scraps? *goes to remedy this*
I don't really have any critique story-wise. Your writing is already amazing and you're only a sophomore. *kind of jealous*
There was one place where you forgot the "f" in "for" but I lost where it was X' But other than that it was pretty much flawless. I got a little confused at first by the conversation being right next to eachother (i.e. "So you've no family?" "None that I wish to know of." "I'd say that I'm sorry, but I don't know of that's anything to be mourned." instead of:
"So you've no family?"
"None that I wish to know of."
"I'd say that I'm sorry, but I don't know of that's anything to be mourned.") But that's not a necissary change, that's just a preference of mine. Keep up the good work, cutie! Your characterization is wonderful, your descriptions are vivid.
I just can't wait for Mrs. Bedaoux to see you work. She's going to love you.
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ryu-son In reply to Dracawyn [2008-07-25 06:40:41 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much! It means so much more coming from someone I admire as much as you! I'm trying a different style than I'm comfortable with in this story, so it's made for improvement and stepping out of my norm!
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Dracawyn In reply to ryu-son [2008-07-26 05:00:31 +0000 UTC]
You're very welcome, love!
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Nekomi-Minosuke [2008-07-23 03:23:07 +0000 UTC]
I really love how this is coming along.
It's such a good story :3
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ryu-son In reply to Nekomi-Minosuke [2008-07-23 03:25:56 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much! I hope it can continue to be good!
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