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there are lots of cliches
about dating in your late twenties
and a lot more worries it seems
if you let yourself be bothered
you gotta pick the right panties
in case you get lucky
which usually means an uncomfy thong
while you debate if sex is worth it
if you shave your legs
it means you welcome the possibility
and if you are out of blades
then you\'re fucked anyway
most men are married and bored
or single and nuts
thanks to the girl who came before you
then there is mom
who wails on and on
about not having grandchildren
oh yeah your clock is ticking too
and dammit there is no snooze button
and it\'s enough to make you
shoot the editors of cosmopolitan
and the geniuses who make up those quizzes
clubs are noisy and full of drunk kids
book clubs and grocery stores are just desperate
and that great guy you met on the internet
just happens to live in another country
compared to this
staying at home with a good movie
some hagen daaz and vodka
seems like a really good idea