ThatKidWithTheRabbit [2014-12-21 06:14:49 +0000 UTC]
Way to hook me, haha! I don't see anything glaringly wrong. There are just a few punctuation things that I would've done differently (but don't necessarily know if it's 'right'). For example:
"[...] I may need another tip removed,” the knight muses."
Comma, end-quotes, then continuing like it's part of the same sentence. But, like I said, I'm not entirely sure if that's the grammatically correct way, or just a style thing that can go either way.
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