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Warning: slight feels (?)

__________

It was never meant to be this way.

Their friendship ruined and thrown away into an abyss without him being able to say a single "goodbye".

Dark caliginous clouds loomed over the cemetery as the people that stood around the tombstone engraved (l/n) (f/n). They gently and softly put the vibrant flowers onto her grave, which did absolutely nothing to lighten the mood up.

It was horrible

Iwaizumi has never felt this much pain out of his whole life, and he knew it would last forever and ever.

(F/n),

How couldn't I have known they weren't just accidental cuts?

Why didn't you tell me they were cuts from the sea of blades you keep in your drawer?

Why did I have to be so dense about it?

If you told me how you felt, I could've been the one to comfort you, you know?

Was I that stupid?

I wish you could've told me. I would've drowned you in a million kisses, give you everything you wanted, and compliment you nonstop.

I probably was and am.

Your body was perfect before, the curves, not too skinny, not too "perfect", that's what I loved and adored about you. You didn't care of what you ate, always having chips or Pocky when we would go over to each other's places all the time.

I did notice the changes about you though.

I've noticed you changed after coming back from Christmas break, you were skinnier, and maybe your skin was a bit paler, looking like a ghost.

From your body,

I remember the warm soft hands you used to have, and then I had to hold the cold fragile pair.

To your personality,

Your adoring bubbly personality was gone. It felt like I lost a part of you, and I did.

Expressions,

You always had a natural looking smile back then, but the next thing I know, it was like you were forcing yourself, pushing yourself just to pull your lips up into a curved shape.

And finally, the amount of time we would spend together,

"(F/n)!"

"Hajime!" and then there goes your forceful smile.

Are you open today?"

"Um, I actually have an errand to run."

No, you were actually going to do some exercises at home by yourself, the point of overworking yourself, or maybe cutting yourself with those blades, and then desperately trying to hide the scars. And we eventually grew farther apart, as I barely managed to hang onto the cliff we were falling off of, while you called out to me to release your hand.

I've noticed all these things, yet never asked myself why?

I'm the worst boyfriend ever (F/n)

Can you forgive me?

I'm sorry.

I didn't want it to end this way.

I just want you back, no I need you back.

I remember the last words you said to me like it yesterday, no, like you said it a moment ago. We were over at my house, I was sleeping, or at least trying to, and you thought I was.

The words that flowed out of your mouth were short and simple, yet it hit me like a boulder tumbling down and onto me, full of despair and sorrow.

"I'm sorry."

And then a pause,

"But farewell."

And you left the room, as I find you the next day, in your bathroom. Blades were scattered everywhere on the tile. You were sitting in the bathtub, your hair used as curtains to block your beautiful face, and your body slumped over.

I yelled, scared of the scene, it was like a horror movie, the corpse left in the bath tub blood here and there, and the weapon used to kill the victim.

(F/n), why did you have to do this to you and us?

Did I not treat you well?

Was there something I said?

Why? Why?

I hate it, I hate how I couldn't help you even one bit.

Choose wisely on what you want to do in life, don't throw it away so easily.