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Shegoran — my 2019, my true self
Published: 2019-10-19 17:43:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 1273; Favourites: 113; Downloads: 4
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I started the year with my head shaved.I knew something was wrong with my body, they didnt want to listen.
I found a doctor who listened. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidis
my hair had started to fall so I wanted to give myself a short haircut.
I missed. Or... Well, I got a REALY short haircut.
Every mower stroke was strangely liberating...
but now...I was in front of me. My true me. Without make up, without hair, nothing to hide or protect me.
I had to deal with it.
All of a sudden, some clothes I loved did not fit anymore. I have an adrogyne body and with my head shaved and no make up, for the test at the hospital, in blouse, they confused me with a boy several times.
But it is okay.
I just... Didnt wanted to wear feminine clothes because it looked... Weird with my body.
I started to wear a wig. I was confident and I felt beautiful. But It wasnt my true self.
I abandoned this idea quickly .
I would still wear wigs in social occasions where I feel uncomfortable, and feel like I'm playing a role, where ... I do not need to be myself because people wouldnt NOT deal with it.
I m different. I love who I am but "normal" people CANT deal with it.
I sorted my clothes.
I only kept the unisex clothes in which I feel good
I started to wear glasses again. People tell me I'm looking more cute and vulnerable. A cute and vulnerable geek, with my big round glasses.
I didnt wanted to look cute and vulnerable because I am not vulnerable. I am strong, people always think I am weak because I am a blond quiet thin girl.
I am strong.
I had to learn that people will never see how I am, who I am.
Is it such a bad thing?
people who know me really know who I am, and it's close to those people that I want to be.
Those I know and who love me for who I am.
What I am really.
My true self
I let my hear grow because I am curious to see how my natural hair looks like.
I have not seen them for 15 years when I started to bleach and dye my hair A LOT.
I am pretty sure I'll cut them short again when I reach the length I have in mind.
I feel more myself with short hair.
I'll turn 30 in december.
30 is such a big scary number.
I hope that arrived at my birthday, I would be really comfortable with who I really am.
I think I can do it.
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Comments: 12
Huh, I didn't realize hypothyroidism was so common for younger people. I'm also diagnosed with it, but I never had a problem with my hair...for me it's energy levels (I tire very easily) and super fast weight loss and gain. Hypothyroidism seems to be different per person, so I hope you're managing yours okay.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm not familiar with the topic of androgyny so your experiences on gender are very insightful.
Keep being the truest and strongest, Shego!
P.S. I wonder what style your hair will turn into! I bet it's super pretty! c:
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Yeah me neighter, but the nurse said that now a lot of youg people are diagnosed with thyroid problem, the world isn't turning round anymore, we have to expect more disease like this in the future I think!
My weight remained the same, but I also have great fatigue, easily drained energy, dizziness, puffy eyes and even if I am very tired, I can not rest. Like, it just don't work, When I sleep I still wake up tired
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Huh, today I learned! Gosh, sorry to hear about your exhaustion though--I wish I had something to suggest...
Are you taking any medication for the hypothyroidism? I don't know if it helps, but I take a small tablet every other day along with a vitamin D supplement.
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Every morning yes
I'm nothing more than a overcooked vegetable without
A piece of wet soft brocoli
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Oh wow, what a difference. I am okay if I don't take mine--it's only my weight that changes like crazy. (In the past I've had one week when I gained 10 pounds, and then lost it the week after! I've also went through several pant size changes for a few months until I got my medicine dose readjusted. It was crazy!)
Mmm, overcooked broccoli is delicious...er wait no, don't eat the Shego! D:
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You got this hun! I believe in you!
I've been diagnosed with hypothyroidism for about two years now.
I've yet to have struggles with my hair, but I've constantly struggled with my weight.
I'm nothing but bone and with the struggle to get the right healthy foods with my new developing food allergies, things have been difficult.
I'm still hanging on and fighting though. I'm currently medicated but only for a few more months until I lose insurance.
Life is scary at times, but I feel like regardless always being myself will make me happy in the long run.
So show off your true colors. Even if normal people don't get it, they should be able to handle and deal with it much like we do.
I hope you find love and comfort in yourself!
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My weight remained the same, but I also have great fatigue, easily drained energy, dizziness, puffy eyes and even if I am very tired, I can not rest. Like, it just don't work, When I sleep I still wake up tired
It is hard to live with an invisible disease because normal people may think we are just... Lazy? Or like "YEAH ME TO, I THINK IT IS THE WEATHER" xD
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