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Description
Just What I Am

No longer bound by cage,
Words jump from my tongue,
Without thinking.
Just erratically bursting at every chance,
From being deprived of freedom for so long.
Yet now you know,
And I realize, the cage was my comfort,
Not a shackle. Regret fills my heart, head and eyes,
Regret pours from my eyes,
As if it were a river breaking free of it's damn,
There is no stopping it.
Tears continue to fall painlessly,
Yet why, when I cry, it hurts more than when I bleed?
I've lost more than you'll ever know,
or even imagine.
Mind clouded with emotion,
With anger. With pain,
The words came so easy then
Yet are so hard to forget now.
I hurt more now,
Not for fear of rejection,
But for fear of losing a friend.
One to me who is more than a friend, but not.
To him I am less,
Just a friend.
With these words my life ended o nce before,
And now it comes crashing down again.
Just a friend.
Those three words which would have killed me once,
Would save me now,
If only you would just say them.
Just a friend,
Oh how I wished it would have been more,
But no fairy tales deserved,
No happy endings,
Just life.
Just a friend, just life.
Just an empty being.
Still.
Just a friend. How those three words would be welcome,
If the three words that sprang from my mouth so thoughtlessly would be forgotten.
Tears would fall more and hurt,
i would bleed my life away through tears,
Yet live.
To be more than a friend, impossible,
To be just a friend, all I want.
Just a friend.

....I'm sorry

Description
Just What I Am

No longer bound by cage,
Words jump from my tongue,
Without thinking.
Just erratically bursting at every chance,
From being deprived of freedom for so long.
Yet now you know,
And I realize, the cage was my comfort,
Not a shackle. Regret fills my heart, head and eyes,
Regret pours from my eyes,
As if it were a river breaking free of it's damn,
There is no stopping it.
Tears continue to fall painlessly,
Yet why, when I cry, it hurts more than when I bleed?
I've lost more than you'll ever know,
or even imagine.
Mind clouded with emotion,
With anger. With pain,
The words came so easy then
Yet are so hard to forget now.
I hurt more now,
Not for fear of rejection,
But for fear of losing a friend.
One to me who is more than a friend, but not.
To him I am less,
Just a friend.
With these words my life ended o nce before,
And now it comes crashing down again.
Just a friend.
Those three words which would have killed me once,
Would save me now,
If only you would just say them.
Just a friend,
Oh how I wished it would have been more,
But no fairy tales deserved,
No happy endings,
Just life.
Just a friend, just life.
Just an empty being.
Still.
Just a friend. How those three words would be welcome,
If the three words that sprang from my mouth so thoughtlessly would be forgotten.
Tears would fall more and hurt,
i would bleed my life away through tears,
Yet live.
To be more than a friend, impossible,
To be just a friend, all I want.
Just a friend.

....I'm sorry