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SpicecreamSundae — |It's Sporing!!| (ToNE: Itsuki Haruta)
#amanita #animeboy #animemanga #bishie #bishonen #bishounen #blood #bloody #boy #brokenbones #colourpencils #eden #fans #fashiondesign #floral #fungi #fungus #garden #gijinka #itsuki #japan #japanese #male #momotaro #mushroom #mycology #nature #oc #plants #poison #polkadots #portrait #prettyboy #prismacolor #radioactive #schoolboy #shounen #spores #toadstool #toxic #traditional #traditionalmedia #unmasked #worldwar2 #ww2 #axispowers #modernfashion #neweden #allrightsreserved #美少年 #instagramartist #lunaurorakoroleva #talesofneweden
Published: 2019-02-25 21:37:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 3806; Favourites: 110; Downloads: 4
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STOP Please don't fave unless you actually like it (not as a thanks). Thank you~
Your featured song for todaaaaaay ... Shadow Song/Kage no Uta by Kirinji <3 [link]
If you want to learn more about Tales of New Eden, the story this character is from:
~Kekekekekekekekekeke~
Oh ho
ToNE's fan favourite (I mean ... second, after Rosalisa, and tied with Cantua ... but whatever XD).
But sErIoUsLy ... for some reason everyone always say he their favourite of my character ? But w h y ? ? ? Who admires a fractured spine, broken left hand, broken right leg, cracked ribs, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety and being the literal embodiment of death and beginning of the food chain ? And a relative of mould, not even a flower?And not even a plant ??? And the most piteous position in Hotel California????????????
Everybody, that's who. W h y ? ? ? ? ?
Aaaaanyway, Amanita Muscaria won on my poll for a modern ToNE character, B U T ! I actually had a lot of time at my cousins' house (and they drew a lot of ToNE fanart which I'd love to share later >w<) so I was able to draw both him aaaand Tsubaki <3333 So I'll be sharing her later, maybe t o m o r r o w.
why am I so weird am I still drunk from the other day when I almost became an alcoholic in one go to stop myself from self loathing? I'm making fun of my problems ... now I'm hopeless. Better start preparing to die horribly and enter New Eden. What flower would I be? MUUUUUUU~
Oh, woops! As for the details, he is wearing a schoolboy outfit. He would NORMALLY WEAR A RICE HAT. B u t I had to draw him this wayyyy to illustrate for y'all what he looks like underneath the hat. Surprise, surprise, he's covered in little tiny amanita muscarias. And look at all those spores. Better watch out.
Yes, in the modern timeline, he gets a weird surgery that enables him to go unmasked, some kind of throat implant. I hope he can still breath okay. Oh well, he's kind of my test dummy of OCs and should be long dead, so ... well, I wouldn't be too surprised.
Poor poor shroom.
If you are confused as to why he is ... um, pretty injured looking, remember that he broke his ribcage and damaged his spine in the train crash. :'c
Please ,,, enjoy.
Amanita
General Information:
Domain of: Amanita Muscarias division
Sex: Male
Nationality: Japanese
Country of Origin: Japan
Original Name: Itsuki Haruta (kind of a redundant name. Itsuki means "spring trees" and Haruta means "spring field/rice field")
Lived: 1927 - 1945
Birthday: August 15
Physical age: 18
Downfall: Radioactive poisoning, suffocation ? and injuries from a train crash
Songs: (Well, obviously; this song somewhat inspired his story too) Wednesday Campanella - Momotaro ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ueFai… ; Kirinji - Drifter ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHF_mF… ; also, Kirinji ~ Shadow Song www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG8kFU… . Civilization VI - Lullaby of Itsuki ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxKg5R… ; MiLi - Mushrooms ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly8QIZ… ; Kashiwa Daisuke - April #19 ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=feShpP…
Quotes: "Please shut up. I don't have time for you right now."
"..."
"Yes, I exist. No, I'm not only in fairytales. No, I don't have magical properties. No, I don't like toads."
"Sometimes you just have to keep doing what you perceive to be right, regardless of what other people think. They will try to control you, but they can never silence your mind or reason."
Personality:
As a first impression, Amanita will often seem to be undeniably antisocial, stubborn, and reclusive. He becomes irritated often, especially with people who interrupt what he is doing, get in his way or tell him what to do, and is a very difficult person to get to know. Because he is an upstanding individual uncomfortable with lying or anything that would cause himself to feel as if he were dishonourable, Amanita often avoids social situations altogether. He is uncomfortable with being direct with communication or his emotions; this, combined with his stubborn mindset, will often lead him to sound “politely rude”, as he often states direct facts but in a polite manner. Amanita is very introspective, often dwelling on one subject for a long time; he is also very cautious, thinking every detail through before acting. Despite his demeanor which may lead some to believe he hates everyone, this youth is actually extremely hard on himself, in part due to his paranoia, and this also leads him to stay out of situations with others where he fears he may hurt them. However, he forms grudges very easily and doesn't trust others unless he knows them very well. Amanita is also schizophrenic, which can cause him to appear too objective, quirky, and very apathetic on occasion, as well as sometimes simply confused. He can also become obsessive (in a more “calm” way than Romashka, as these tendencies are not as influential over Amanita), most notably with the history of his country and culture.
History (as always, be sure to correct me if you spot a plothole; I hate dealing with WW2:
Itsuki was born in Kyoto in late 1928, named for the famous peach tree (“itsuki” meaning spring trees). He was often neglected by his parents; his father being a worker in the Japanese government and his mother assisting him, they had been caught up in the extreme nationalism that took hold of the country during this time and wished more to help the state than to care for their child. Furthermore, Itsuki was a strange child; no one around him could understand him, as he would often talk in weird ways and seemed a bit disassociative and forgetful, and his parents were a bit disgusted by this generally. Thus, the child was raised primarily by his older sister, who also did not care much for his wellbeing. She pushed him around quite a bit, and he listened to her most of the time, being a very docile child.
Due to his inadequate childhood, Itsuki grew to be an awkward youth. His peers shunned him and he was often left out of events, as he didn't fit in and often “messed things up” or caused events to become disorderly. This was a great source of depression for him, though he kept it bottled up and did not feel comfortable sharing it with anyone, having no close friends during this period.
Everything changed one day in 1939; war had broken out between Japan and China, and the former nation's consideration of national pride skyrocketed. Despite all of the stress of his condition and situation, Itsuki's studies showed that he sported unusual intelligence, performing exceptionally in all of his academics. He was removed from his school and family by the government and sent to live with a man by the name of Sugimoto Shigeru, a famed and highly respected professor who would push the boy's studies.
Shigeru was a very stern individual, and not very good with children; Itsuki was forced on several occasions to open up to his superior due to his strange behaviour (As he would often forget tasks due to his dissociative nature), and Shigeru would often get angry, telling the boy that no one cared about his feelings, that emotions were meant to be discarded for the higher good. Thus, Itsuki over time began to ingest this mindset, becoming even more uncomfortable sharing his feelings or thoughts, or even talking to anyone. He also became very paranoid and highly insecure, often “watching himself”. He was still very docile at this point but secretly disliked social situations or dealing too much with others, finding them to be confusing and these situations often humiliating.
The youth became relatively famed for his sharp mind throughout the land, and he was an amazing problem solver. As he grew older, Shigeru, deciding the boy would make a great impact if he were to serve in the ongoing War, began to train him to be a military strategist, despite the youth only being 12. Itsuki, however, had developed a mind of his own, and different interests than his master; over time, this gentle spirit began to feel uncomfortable with the prospect of the war; when he would go out into the streets, he was often horrified at the common things he would see. Also very tired of being pushed around, his stubbornness began to really show through; though he was harshly punished by Sugimoto whenever he would dare defy him (and it was often only minor defiances, as the boy would often find one course of action wiser than what his master had prepared and would bring it up to him politely), this did not discourage Itsuki and actually caused him to grow more determined. Itsuki was also becoming increasingly stressed due to the heavy expectations placed on him; he was often compared to momotaro, “peach boy”, a major symbol of Japanese nationalism. However, he felt he could never live up to expectations and on one occasion mentioned in a rage to Shigeru that he felt“he was not the greatly loved momotaro, sweet, serene and strong, but like a poisonous fungus spreading it's spores, hated by all”.
On one occasion, he became so furious at the directions Shigeru gave him that he was shut in a room for days without food. On the second day in isolation, Itsuki found a small and sharp twig left in the corner of the dark room, and ingeniously was ably to use it to pick the lock on the window and escape. He had made up his mind to escape Shigeru's wing and was happy to be free, however, this joy was soon dashed, as word of his rebelliousness had spread throughout the city of Kyoto. Unable to pass a street corner without being insulted or sneered at, he learned that he was considered an insult to his country, dishonourable, and not wanting Japan's war efforts to succeed.
Unable to bear these humiliations, Itsuki made up his mind to escape to an abandoned shrine a few miles outside Kyoto, in a thick forest. He had visited this site many times in his early childhood and he saw it as a place of serenity, of peace. However, he was unable to reach it peacefully. At the edge of the city, he was suddenly grabbed and attacked by an older boy. Though he struggled to escape, his small frame and frail nature held him back. A mob of children and teens soon surrounded the two boys, and viciously Itsuki was beaten by the mob. Due to the general anger at Itsuki the fight is not stopped right away, nor does it draw much attention. (it happening far from Shigeru's home, he is not aware of it, nor of the fact that his student has gone missing.) The frightening attack was ended when a nearby military officer, probably not wanting the boy to die as Japan would lose a sharp mind (however assumed unwilling), chased the assailants away. On seeing how wounded the 12 year old boy is, he is unsure of how to proceed to capture him, and thus gives the boy a chance to escape.
Making his way carefully to the shrine, Itsuki was traumatised severely. The child had escaped with countless cuts and broken bones. He had lost a lot of blood and furthermore was nearly paralysed by his trauma, so thinking he would die, he began to pray at the Shinto shrine. Suddenly he felt someone watching him, and painfully turning around he saw a woman, or what appeared to be; she looked more like light or a cloud. He could not move to stop her, and she began to carefully treat all of his major wounds, most notably wrapping his broken leg and sliced arm. He soon passed out from lack of blood and oxygen, as was bound to happen, but due to the wrappings did not lose any more and managed to survive. When he awoke, the woman was gone; thinking she was a great spirit, he became even more religiously fervent.
As the shrine was rather large, and abandoned, being far out of the minds of many commoners, he lived alone there for the next four years. Oftentimes soldiers would come by, usually on military exercises, and he would have to hide. Itsuki, having time to reflect, developed a strong sense of pride in his nation (though he detested modern Japanese values), and often ventured into the city to try and obtain books and other information for even higher learning. Though he often went at night, sometimes he would have to go during the light hours, and not wanting to be recognised he would wear a mask that obscured his identity. Though he had gone missing over a year prior to his visits to Kyoto, most people remembered him and referred to him derogatorively as “the recluse” or “the ghost”; and since he was only seen on occasion, citizens would even go as far as placing bets on who could see him, or trying to seek him out for the sake of fame.
In 1945, he felt that hatred toward him had died down, at least enough that he could venture outside permanently. He decided that he did not want to stay in Kyoto anymore but to try and venture to another near city, eventually settling on Hiroshima, because he remembered he supposedly had relatives in that city that possibly would show mercy and be willing to take him in.
Itsuki was extremely malnourished from his time living in the forest with very little food and having often to trek all the way to Kyoto, and furthermore, walked with a limp due to his broken leg which had never been completely healed or re-set; resulting, he moved quite slowly. Though it was quite risky for him, he decided that it would be more efficient to take a train to the Hiroshima.
However, while the train is en route to the city, it happened to be the fateful day when America bombed Hiroshima. The driver is notified of this he rapidly tries to turn the train around. However, word escaped to a passenger, and everyone in the train began to panic. Being a great distraction to the already frantic driver, he crashes the train.
Itsuki survived, though almost no one else had. Again traumatised, he realises he is also alone once more. Severely injured by the crash, having crushed his torso, and barely being able to move, he knew he did not have long. Desperately the young man tried to make his way back to civilisation. He knew it was hopeless due to being in the middle of no where, but he had had a life of trials and had become very stubborn. He had not gotten very far when he begins to suddenly feel extremely ill, figuring it must have something to do with the attack on Hiroshima due to his proximity to the city. Rapidly losing strength because of his already weak body, he collapses, immobile, into a bed of poison amanita mushrooms.
As he lay dying, looking back on his life, Itsuki makes one last vow – revenge on those who had hurt him, taken away his life, blamed him for crimes he had not committed. In a faraway world, his final words were certainly heard ...
In the Garden
When Amanita died, he was fused with the poisonous mushrooms surrounding him, and having been lying face down he inhaled their spores. Combined with his inhaling of radioactive poisoning, he is is constantly exhaling radioactive spores as an Immortal. Because of the Garden connecting everyone within it, if one member got sick the rest would soon follow (and though no one can die, obviously, they can still get sick/severely hurt). Due to this, Amanita is forced to wear a mask to protect the air from his toxic breath. The mask is made of the skin of the mushroom, and acts as a natural filter. It is often pulled up over his nose, but not always.
His broken hand and leg have not entirely healed, so he has trouble holding things with his left hand and has a limp in his right foot.
Relationships: *Though they annoy each other, Itsuki becomes great friends with Susan.
*Typically rivals with Amaryllis and Basilico, though he is also good friends with the latter.
*Disdains Sunflower/Gloria but remains her friend.
*Decent friends with Tsubaki; he admires her passion for their country and feels he can learn a lot from her.
*Hated blindly by Be and so dislikes her quite a bit.
*Gets on pretty well with Rosalisa, both having a similar love for learning.
*Confused by Romashka and is often trying to figure him out.
*Cactus respects him, and he finds her interesting, but they never truly get to know each other beyond bare acquaintances.
*Due to his like during World War II, and because Cactus and Basil dislike him, he is a little wary of Rampion.
Fun Facts: -Though he wishes for revenge, he feels it is not the will of the heavens due to his broken body.
-Has a secret love for 80s pop, especially Japanese City Pop.
-Amanita is a genius, and probably the smartest Immortal upon entering the Garden; therefore, he has earned the extreme jealousy of Romashka (as much as a sociopath can be jealous; moreover, Romashka wishes to mainly study him and probably kill him later. Romashka is stupid for not realising the futility of this )
-He is still referred to as "the recluse" in the Garden because he often hides from everyone.
-His hakama is purposely folded right over left; one day in life he accidentally folded it wrong, and continued to do so. (Tsubaki especially considers this to be funny)
-That "ghost" in his history? It was a spirit from the Garden which showed mercy on him. I'll elaborate more on this later.
-His voice range is high soprano. Thus, he is sometimes mistaken for a child when he is speaking but not seen.
-He has a secret crush on Suzie but does a good job of concealing it. However he still feels a bit uncomfortable around her and Gloria, but his determination to become closer to her actually promotes a decent friendship with her sister Gloria.
-He sometimes teases Romashka and finds it funny to irritate his plans. This is one of the only times when he ever shows his sense of humour (he does not even seem to have one around Basil and Tsubaki).
-Toads love him and enjoy sitting on him. Resulting he doesn't like them very much.
- (In his normal outfit,) The red strap that connects to the inside of his hat wraps around his face to form the mask (so the mask is made of the straps of the hat and then ties at the back).
-The yellow ribbons come off from the back of it, and the red ones (which form his mask) and white ones come from inside of it.
-(In his ordinary outfit), His Haori Jacket is made of a material that resembles the underside of mushroom caps. It also is not striped, but red occasionally shows through it.
-His shoes are boring ordinary Zōri.
-His eyes are amber coloured.
Lineart: N/A
Previous work: |The Stargazer| (ToNE: Wisteria) (it's actually from november, but okay ...)
Toyhou.se page: toyhou.se/2057135.itsuki-harut…
More of Amanita:
ToNE: |I'm Not Your Momotaro| (Amanita)
A talented but underrated artist, Miss Vyris is also very kind and supportive <3 Although I only just met her, I highly recommend her work! She is also offering many commissions of good prices and diverse art styles.
~Thank you for coming, my darling~
Amanita Muscaria/Itsuki Haruta © SpiceCream
Tales of New Eden © SpiceCream
Art © SpiceCream .
All rights reserved. Do not trace, steal, edit or copy my designs or characters in any way; they are mine and not up for taking. Thank you for understanding.
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Comments: 46
This one is over a year old lmaoo ;v; But I'm flattered you're still interested in my project, because I lost a lot of my audience XD So thank you for making my day ;v;
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Oh no >///< I am so sorry, your stuff looks good always so like *me screaming get back here at the masses* I came back and my notification box was like yeah you have above 9000 notifications XD
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Lmaooo yeah, the notifications ... I hate having a lot, so I just splintered my menu haha
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Lollll, das smart.
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I do love this character, including his detailed and tragic past. And of course, I'm a great fan of both your pictorial and literary depiction of him.
Without his mask, he looks even more breathtakingly handsome! (Though the mysterious atmosphere he creates with it on is just as enchanting!)
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I absolutely adore his more historical outfit, but man does this one look absolutely stunning in it's simplicity yet lovely attention to small details as well! 
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Aaaa thanks dear <33
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He's beautiful and you can't tell me otherwise. I'm a sucker for the broken ones. You know that meme where there are a collection of characters, and the fan shoves them all apart and points at the broken potato sitting behind all of them and just shouts, "this one is my favourite!" Yeah that's me right now, I got smacked in the face again and I appreciate it very much like omfa he's so pretty. He's a pretty boi, and I don't care if he's absolutely a train wreck I'm gonna love this man till I perish. Like my heart is in pain with how much I love this man Jesus mother of rice balls.
His facial structure is so adorable, and my J E E Z his hair! I think I'm actually having a fan attack, his hair is the definition of perfect! Now, black hair is hard to draw because of shading. Do you make it a grey black? Or a brown black? And how do you shade it to still let people know that those aren't highlights, they're just shimmers in the hair? And how many shimmer pieces are enough? You clearly don't have this problem and I'm dying over here of thirst. You blended the curves of his hair and I think I have an obsession with pretty hair because my god I could gush about that for h o u r s. And what's growing on his head is literally so well nuzzled in, it doesn't look like they're just slapped on there like really bad hair accessories.
Okay can I just say that those bandages are my lifeline? The way that they don't just mesh together and you can see the different pieces of the bandages, the blood soaking through and dripping down and all. And the bandages aren't white! You made them clearly a yellowish colour and I'm literally in love with this drawing. He's such a pretty boi, a very pretty boi. His fan is so cute and the little spores surrounding him. I just. I need a moment to collect myself cause my h e a r t. I love how you made the rose background have mushrooms, yeah it's nothin big but it's so cute. He's so cute. What have you done to me. I'm a sucker for characters like him. I need to draw that meme and have him be the broken potato because oof
I looked again and he has a freaking mushroom on his shirt, like a little clip on his collar ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ I love him
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HSHSHFHSHSHAUIFHDIUSDUI
Please tell me ,,, is it weird for creators to fangirl over their fans??
THIS COMMENT. IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD
It seriously makes me so happy you like him aaaaaaaaa reading this made me so happy I don't know what to do ;; A ;; Myheartmyheartmyheartmyheartmyheartmyheart
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I felt the s a m e way about this precious cinnamon bun nwn I think that it shows that you really care about your fans and what they have to say, so you caring about my comment made me even more excited to finish this Autumn drawing! I've been working on it for a day or two and I remember you said he was your favourite, so I tried to make him look extra pretty ♡
I'm so happy you're the artist that cares about their fans ♡♡♡
I also hope that you don't mind if I gush about him again because my JEEZ my heart actually implodes on itself every time I look at him ^°^ I love his story and it made me actually upsetto spaghetto because w h y T^T the poor guy just kept getting shit thrown at him and I just...my h e a r t.
I love all of your characters, from Marvin Mhyre up to Itsuki Haruta, you are a goddess at characters and designing them and giving them life. Their stories are so beautiful and every detail is something to appreciate uwu thank you for being an artist and for giving us inspiration with your works ♡
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You are too kind hhh
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oh gosh this boy! it's so damn beautiful~ love that sassy pose tho
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Ayayayayay thank you so much ;; v ;; I'm still so happy you like him
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You're very welcome! ❤❤ one time a character appears in front of my eyes and enchanting me, it never leaves my heart! ❤❤
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The hair and anatomy are looking good! 
Question, though. He is only 17, so it's a little unusual for him to already be diagnosed with schizophrenia. Is that why you mostly described him as having "negative symptoms?" It would make sense, as I think for a lot of people it starts with those first, and the "positive symptoms" show up later on. Does he ever get "positive symptoms?"
The other possibility I was thinking of is that he presents as noticeably different from the norm, but nobody around him is able to specifically identify it as schizophrenia and it's something we can only identify now, looking back, and being like, "oh yeah, that's probably what it was." You know, like how sometimes famous scientists were never diagnosed with autism but you can still find articles like "well, he was proooooobably autistic, amiright?"
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Idk where you are and I hope you're doing okay right now 💜 I will probably are him up to 18 or 19 though along with several other characters in ToNE.
I hope you're doing alright 💜
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Also THANK YOU for this comment!! I had been sitting on this for a while, and I wasn't sure what to do about it. I appreciate your input as someone who specialises more in mental illnesses, and I also appreciate that you read his story
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Yay and no problem! Thanks for the clarification too!
I wasn't sure what you meant with sitting on it for a while and not being sure what to do - did you mean about his symptoms, or about his modern design or the drawing in general?
Because it's 4am (my rambling time lmao) and for the sake of conversation, I'll pretend it's about his symptoms. If that's not what you meant, feel free to skip, skim, or otherwise not take the wall of text too seriously XDD
Disclaimer: this is an extreme topic of interest for me, but I am not a professional and don't know everything, so there may be inaccuracies.
So, it's considered to be extremely rare for someone to actually have full-on schizophrenic symptoms as a (small) child. But if asked, many schizophrenic people will describe always being "off" or otherwise having some kind of indicative trait from a young age. For example, being very imaginative or not fitting in. I think you hit the nail on the head!
The way you described him reads sort of like it could also apply to autism or ADHD, which is reasonable because there used to be a lot of overlap between those three, with older studies suggesting autism and schizophrenia are genetically and symptomatically the same aside from persons with Sz having the hallucinations/etc (which usually develops in late teens or 20s, meaning a child with autism or prodromal schizophrenia presents as essentially the same) and how before the late 90s autism and ADHD used to be misdiagnosed as each other much more often. Since you did not explicitly describe him here as having "positive symptoms," it is possible that he stayed only prodromal in life, or perhaps that he would be more accurately be referred to as simply "psychotic," although... I think for many people, the term "psychotic" seems to conjure a very specific kind of mental image, which isn't necessarily an accurate one and might confuse people about your character. I'm not trying to say he doesn't have schizophrenia (defined as presence of impairing psychotic symptoms lasting longer than 6 months), though. He could only have the "negative symptoms" and still have it. He can, perhaps, only have negs and mild thought disorders (where you described him "talking in weird ways") and it would still count. Or he could hallucinate without being delusional or thought disordered, but that is more common in head injuries and other strictly physical/biological causes. Any combination is possible!
However, because he isn't diagnosed in the story, the specific terminology is probably not all that important.
Another thing I was thinking is that, because he is intended to be written into a novel, presumably at times from his personal perspective, you might write him as an unreliable narrator. For example, those times when he hears people recognizing him and demeaning him, or going out of their way to try and see him - you could write those in a way where it's uncertain if it's actually happening or if he is only imagining it. In that case, it would probably be things like someone saying "ugh, I know, she's so attractive" but he hears something completely novel (but vaaaaaguely similar) over it instead like "ugh, it's him, shh, he's a traitor" (probably combined with a confused feeling, as though something was off about it, but he was almost SURE that's what he heard....) mixed with hearing other voices either "within" other sounds (someone is rustling a paper, but he hears a voice coming from the paper accompanied with the normal sound... and as he walks in the streets many or even all sounds have this effect) or just straight up voices and weird noises (like clicking, popping, static) from nowhere and out of nothing. Maybe he's walking by and hears someone chewing loudly, and turns around in disgust only to see that nobody is there. Maybe he doesn't hear anything, but only feels eyes on his back, only to turn around and see no one. Most hallucinations are auditory, but you could add some visuals too. The visuals are usually pretty mild - a dark flash in the corner of the eyes, a pinprick of light, colors appearing brighter, etc. In slightly more severe cases, they will, for example, be SURE the clock read a certain time, for several seconds, and then after looking away and immediately looking back, the time is something completely different. Alternately, he might not be experiencing any hallucinations at all, but is so paranoid of people shaming him that it soon takes over his entire mind and he believes that any glance is his direction is one of both recognition and disgust. This is all assuming you'd like to add some positive symptoms (besides the possible thought disorders I'm assuming he has to explain the odd speech) onto him though, because he still works just fine without them.
If you add more positive symptoms, his level of insight would depend on the severity of it at the time - if he is in full on florid psychosis mode, especially if it's his first one, he is more likely to not even suspect that they (the delusions and/or hallucinations) aren't real. If it's not as severe, he could vary from being confused and not sure about it, or even be completely aware that it's not real (preferably not during his first few experiences/episodes, but maybe after several months have gone by). For bonus realism, you could have him start off with mild delusions (he has some doubts about them, but can't let the ideas go either) only here and there once in a while, then very small hallucinations (literally on the threshold of hearing where he can't tell if it's actually there or not, like whispers or hissing) and have it progress to a point where the hallucinations are constant and quite loud (equally as loud as a human voice or even louder) and his delusions have become more bizarre and detailed, with only the tiniest hints of his rational mind left rarely trying to articulate that something is wrong with the whole thing. That's for if you want it to be something that just shows up organically. OR he doesn't have the full psychotic break with the appearance of positive symptoms occurring until he has been through a sufficient amount of trauma. I was thinking if you took that route you could put the onset immediately after the beating, or while he's in isolation either from Shigeru or at the shrine. Actually now that I think about it, having it start at the point of a trauma complicates his technical diagnosis because there are actually many disorders that can include some psychotic symptoms under their spectrum, such as PTSD... Lack of vitamin B12 can also cause psychosis, so you could have it start while he is malnourished, but that would not make him a schizophrenic.
However you do the onset, you could then have the episode gradually wind down later on (months to a year) and then maybe sort of have it wax and wane over time. You could have the first episode be really long and severe, and later on it's just for a few hours here and there with only mild to moderate symptoms with greater insight (awareness that it's not real). Or you could have it cycle between low intensity and high intensity. It's hard for me to be sure because many are on medication, but as far as I'm aware it's not really a thing to be max level psychotic 100% of the time. But if he is schizophrenic, once it's there it never goes away for long, especially as he doesn't have access to treatment. By the time he feels confident enough to be out in public again, he would probably have little to no positive symptoms unless he is stressed or hasn't slept enough or something like that. Which in a way would make his story even more tragic... he finally recovers from the whole thing, tries to make his life better, and then immediately dies.
Based on what you wrote, a good delusional path for him might go like this (thinking of when he's at the shrine): "people outside might recognize me" to "people outside definitely recognize and hate me, here is some evidence" to "every time I go out, they are watching me, whispering about me" to "sometimes they're yelling at me. I think they are also following me home??" "they are definitely out there, watching me, I heard a twig snap, I should hide" to "they're in the shrine somewhere, but when I finally go to look nobody is there...maybe they snuck back out?" to "something is here, but it's not a person..." to "there are spirits here, they are mad at me, what can I do to appease them?" I feel like this trajectory illustrates how he starts with something that is basically a completely rational fear ("just" fear/anxiety), and progresses to something irrationally certain yet non-bizarre (delusion), and then finally ends with a more bizarre religious delusion. (Although my understanding of Japanese culture is that it would actually not be considered bizarre to them, only to us because we don't consider belief in spirits to be socially acceptable in the majority.....so you would have to play around with it a bit. Also, he doesn't need to progress all the way to bizarre delusions if you don't want him to.)
If you wanted, and if his illness was severe enough, you could expand it even further and have him sense the spirits following him everywhere he goes; maybe he even feels like they are possessing him and that he has less control over his own thoughts and behaviors, and from there he starts doing "crazy" things like talking to them or moving shit around all over the shrine either because the spirits are making him or because he hopes it will appease them. If you don't want to make him severely ill and would prefer to keep his symptoms a bit low-key, using primarily delusions of reference or even just ideas of reference might be a good option.
Another idea for him is to have alternating delusions - he could have delusions based in social shame (probably as his primary one as he is Japanese), delusions based in religious persecution, and then even "nice" or grandiose delusions like the spirits in the shrine are actually helpful guides instead of enemies or that he is the reincarnation of someone important. You could give him the belief that the books he picks out to read where chosen for him by God and it's no coincidence that he just happened to glance at them or was just thinking something whose content is similar to the book title. (imo whether that would actually count as delusional is debatable and dependent on culture.) Or like... he suddenly realizes that he was actually Momotaro all along, and everything else was just a test of character. And maybe, maybe, later on he then realizes his mystical realization of becoming Momotaro was actually a trick and Everyone is laughing at him for being a fool - attacking one of his proudest traits, intelligence. You could also give him the occasional belief that Shigeru or the government have found his location and are coming to take him away. Chances are, most of the delusions would be relatively separate - only one or two at a time - and he'd switch between them with or without any particular trigger. But, on occasion, they could all mix together at the same time. I would imagine that for most people, if the delusions were mixed together all at once they would also be simultaneously quite catatonic and well.. to put it lightly, far beyond confused. Especially if some of them are in direct contradiction to each other, or at least seem that way, such as pitting "the spirits in the shrine are tormentors" versus "the spirits are virtuous" with the emotional states associated with each. Or that the things trying to come after him are simultaneously other citizens, the government, and spirits. Trying to connect the dots between all of them, particularly ones that are religious in theme, would feel like profound epiphany after profound epiphany, and yet none of it makes any meaningful sense. Like being so close, and yet so far... and at the same time, it would be very lonely, because he would be the only one to possess that knowledge which is essentially beyond words. I imagine that it would be challenging to write about that, but it would be an emotionally gripping read if done well. It all depends on if you even want to add positive symptoms, and if so, how severe you want to make them. You could easily make him seem perfectly normal while still symptomatic, always ill at a moderate level, "quite obviously insane" or have him be alternating somewhere between those extremes.
Ehh I could keep going but it's time for sleep now XD
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Oh wow!! You are AMAZING! Thank you so much for all the advice ;v;
By "sitting on it" what I meant was whether or not I wanted to keep him having schizophrenia or giving him a different illness (or when to study more) but after reading this I think I will definitely keep him the way he is, I think scz actually works well for his story.
I actually did not know too much about it so I think your words have definitely acted as a springboard for further study for me. on this topic. Based on what you have suggested I think I will have it progress like this: He begins with a lot of negative symptoms and while it is definitely noticeable, the illness has not progressed too much and isn't "too terrible". After things become more physical for him, like when he is starved by Shigeru he is occasionally prone to more "positive" symptoms and may occasionally hallucinate, primarily auditory. After the physical trauma of being beat I imagine it gets a bit worse but is still only a moderate case, because it makes sense for him to also have developed mild PTSD. I also plan to play a bit with visual hallucinations because not only does he have scz but other characters destined for New Eden (i.e. Rose, Seshen and a couple others) also had hallucinations but blamed it on other things. I am also sure that this gives him more confidence issues and it makes sense that it would be part of the reason he remains a recluse.
I wish I had more time to reply in full but I highly appreciate everything you've said, reading your comment made my morning and I rarely like reading lengthy comments XD I always appreciate your advice ;w; Thanks again~
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Yay I'm glad it was helpful, and it's exciting to learn more about how you're going to proceed with him!!
I like how you're thinking of doing his progression, it seems very sound to me. I agree that it would exacerbate his problems with confidence and make him more reclusive. Also, I think how you described his irritability is 100% spot on PERFECT!
I have some other ideas if you are still open to hearing them...
tldr by paragraph- things are not always as they seem and your story is cool, schizophrenia fun facts, how I would write Amanita knowing that you want him to only be mild to moderate, schizophrenia simulation video, fluff.
From what I can tell so far, your characters that hallucinate tend to be experiencing something closer to an objective reality in their world and not just "insanity" (as in, they hallucinate or have visions of actual, real people and future events instead of things that are "not real") you could perhaps deviate from a perfectly realistic portrayal with Amanita and, for example, have the voices he hears and spirits he senses or whatever be of others that end up in the garden. Based on what I understand of how your other characters hallucinate, the "symptoms" (particularly of Seshen seeing ghosts) are more akin to a severe psychotic disorder. I found a study that basically said I was wrong before about the visuals being relatively minor in psychosis - I got them mixed up, it's more common in physical disorders to see little things, but psychotic people can see fully formed and detailed humans for sure, and it implied that sometimes people hallucinate visuals only in the absence of any other physical or psychiatric symptoms. Before I found that, I thought Seshen's hallucinations were unrealistic and required a suspension of disbelief, but it's totally legit!
But the cool thing about your story is that the characters' experiences hint that in their world, everything is connected through time and space just as much as they are all connected to each other in the garden, and that's SUPER FUCKING COOL. And, well... in today's Western society (and many other cultures) we consider positive symptoms to be exclusively composed of things that are unreal and do not exist at all. In my opinion, the truth is, while some experiences caused by positive symptoms ARE clearly false (ex: "my neighbors are loudly arguing about me" but when confronted, are just having a domestic dispute), in some cases there is honestly no way to know for sure (ex: "there are spirits following me and talking to me"). In the end... you really just never know... Which is part of why I like something called the Hearing Voices Movement. They do their best to avoid stigmatizing or clinicizing the experience, and instead are open to multiple points of view as to why the voices exist - mostly maintaining that it's based in trauma instead of "brain be bad," but they don't judge people for suggesting the cause might be religious or spiritual (or anything else) in nature either.
You might be interested to know that a study was done a while back where they surveyed persons from different cultures who matched schizophrenic criteria; people from Western cultures described themselves as being chronically, clinically ill, viewed themselves more negatively, had more symptoms relating to themes of persecution, and had poorer prognoses - but people from African and Indian cultures instead described themselves as undergoing a spiritual journey typically involving contact with the spirits of their ancestors, had more support from the community, and had better prognoses with some symptoms completely remitting over time. On that note - it is typically assumed that schizophrenia is something that is only getting worse over time, ie that it's a progressive illness. But, even in Western cultures, there are some people who instead start off with really terrible symptoms, and actually get better as they age (specifically I'm referring to people whose symptoms began around 25 but mostly went away or otherwise became significantly more manageable by the time they turned 50). That might be related to things like support, self-image, reduction of stressors, reality testing, etc. My understanding is that more common than either of those is static negative symptoms (they stay more or less the same always, but can get worse under stress or better with support) and a general ebb and flow to positive symptoms - starts slow, goes from bad to worse, reduces back to a mild level and stays there for a while, before later on progressing into another episode (subsequent episodes can be the same, better or worse than the first one), which then dies down, only to return a few years down the road, etc etc. But because Amanita is so young there isn't much time to explore how his symptoms would develop over his entire lifespan - therefore, your idea of it being only very mild and then getting moderate after severe stress is pretty sound, as well as adding mild PTSD or general dissociative symptoms at that point.
For Amanita, you might like to know that there is something called "internal auditory hallucinations" - basically he hears 'voices', but they do not mimic real sounds in his physical environment and instead are more like other thoughtforms in his mind that do not sound like his own natural thought voice. Would be good to put that before he develops the external ones, or in place of them especially because he's quite young for sz. If I were to write him, I would have him start with only negative symptoms, like you did. I don't recall you specifying it but I think I would also give others the assumption that he is "simple" or "stupid" despite being quite intelligent. When Shigeru imprisons him, he develops constant delusions of persecution (ex: he has done something COSMICALLY wrong by not wanting to fight in a war and now everyone hates him) with frequent internal hallucinations (content of which involves other people condemning him, yelling at him in his head, especially Shigeru, maybe saying "you're right, you're exactly like a fungus that infects everyone you meet"). When he gets out, he finds he also has ideas of reference (ex: group of girls are giggling and it's probably about him), which, after a few repeated experiences, progresses into delusions of reference (ex: they are DEFINITELY giggling about him), which are constant and make him feel dreamlike and fuzzy (derealization). Perhaps he also feels like time is slowed down. I would probably give him very minor and occasional external hallucinations, like whispers on the threshold of his hearing (leaving him wondering if he is really hearing it or only imagining things) or the sound of a very faint crowd in the distance, only for him to realize the streets are empty, specifically when he is in public. Or the classic "someone called my name but when I turned to look nobody was there..." with him likely assuming it was a real person who ducked out of sight or is looking away by the time he's turned around. I would also give him the one where someone speaks and he hears something totally different (which, of course, is about him, preferably of the extreme and false accusation variety) if you are able to write it (you could maybe write him as hearing both simultaneously, and having to debate which sentence is the real one? Or simply present it as being genuine, which is easier and more true to how you originally wrote his story). Basically, I would be trying to write him as clearly starting to show some positive symptoms, but still keeping things on terms that are easily relate-able to the average person. (btw if you relate to any of the above it doesn't automatically mean OMG YOU'RE SCHIZO!!111 because MANY disorders, both mental and physical, have traits like that and even totally normal people can have psychotic symptoms at times. In his case, it's distinguished as sz by the presence of the above symptoms combined with negative symptoms and more longevity than seen in other disorders.)
I VERY strongly agree with the idea of his symptoms worsening after the beating. I'd give him catatonia (he appears to be totally zoned out, with a flat affect, and isn't moving or speaking) both during the day and a half before finding the twig (which combined with the delusions and internal hallucinations also explains why it took him a while to find it and plan to escape with it) and after the assault. And some more prominent thought disorders, particularly.. I think it falls under derailment? I would have him like switching between thinking about the weird spirit lady, the assault, Shigeru, questioning his morality and patriotism, fighting between the values of nonviolence vs the "necessity" of war, his failures, his hunger, whether he is going to die from the injuries, his sister, etc all like back and forth and never fully finishing a single train of thought. Also, I would alter his thought speed during this time - either very slowly, like he can't process his own thoughts, or very quickly, like he is very anxious and stressed. I would also give him some thought blocking, which is when the thoughts just suddenly
Also because of his forgetfulness and the thought blocking, I would have him repeatedly questioning the reality of the spirit lady, looking at the bandages to remind himself that it was real, and then questioning it again. He may or may not become apparently delusional about her at this point as well (you said she is a real person so it wouldn't really count as delusional, but he would be predicting that she is an otherworldly entity of some kind). While he is at the shrine, I'd have him trying not to sleep at all because he is too paranoid someone will find him, the result of which is more frequent hallucinations (external and/or internal auditory depending on your preference, and also add visuals here because even completely normal people see shit when they haven't slept enough) and perhaps some variability in the content of his delusions (like adding something religious, maybe.. or you could write him here as having a normal religious moment that is not socially unacceptable). If he believes there is a shrine spirit, he would also be trying to judge the spirit's morality, feel like it's watching him (either glaring at him or comforting him), and maybe, maaaaaybe, even have tactile hallucinations and think the spirit did it. Also because he is outside I would give him a tactile hallucination type where he feels like bugs or a strand of hair is touching him but nothing appears to be there. By the time he is in the garden and socializing with other people again, I would probably add on mild occasional stilted speech ("thesaurusing"), imo it would suit him. Also because he seems to acquire a support system in the garden (also known as friends), I would probably give him a reduction of hallucinatory experiences compared to his original experience (going from a constant buzz in public to only if he is stressed or hasn't slept/eaten enough). And, like the delusions of persecution and feelings of guilt/failure would still be there, but just as an every now and then thing. Furthermore, sometimes the presence of something interesting happening can halt the hallucinations or delusions, especially if it's a mild case - so for example, he'll be hallucinating a little bit, and then when Tsubaki or someone else shows up and starts talking to him, they just disappear. Since ToNE is a romance, you could even add something corny like "bb you make all my bad things go away <3 <3 <3 uwu" to his character.
Also, if you haven't seen it yet, there is this video... (WARNING it's kind of creepy) www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr8IyN…
My notes on it:
-First of all, this presents a more severe case than what you want to give Amanita. Second, this guy's experience does not showcase what everyone goes through, or even what everyone with a severe case of psychosis goes through
-He starts off completely normal, and the hallucinations kind of just appear out of nowhere. He was probably already hallucinating the day before though. Also not everyone has a BUNCH of voices all at once like that, it can JUST as easily be a single voice here and there. And, notice how while some of them are just weird noises or are distorted, most of them are quite clear, yet also obviously unreal. Sometimes voices sound exactly like the voice of a normal person, but it's also pretty common for them to be DISTINCTLY different in some way. Whispery, droning, demonic, high-pitched, echoey, fading in and out, static-like, etc
-He is too confused to respond back to the person on the phone. You get the sense that he is trying so hard to process the content of the phone call among the other noise that he is unable to respond. Realizing he can't respond, he sort of goes "whatever" and hangs up on her. He is so confused after the phone call that he does something else and forgets he has coffee. He also doesn't respond to the postal worker; instead he hallucinates "THIS IS FOR YOU!" out loud, as though she will be able to hear that. Tbh people with sz have issues with poverty of speech and confusion (both negative symptoms) even when they aren't having any positive symptoms
-The view outside the window getting wavy is exaggerated, but it definitely happens to some people. The other visuals I feel are VERY exaggerated, but the hand in the box is legit, it shows up suddenly and disappears after a split second. Also, he hears a voice telling him to "take my hand" before he sees it, which is very much a Thing.
-Notice how confusing it feels trying to process all those different sounds? Especially when he turns on the TV? That's the kind of confused a person with sz feels, and they can get like that even if they aren't hallucinating. Even the normal every day sounds can turn into "what the fuck is all this??" I imagine that Amanita would be feeling kind of like that once he escapes from Shigeru. If you pay attention, the person on the phone call's voice is completely garbled, like he cannot process any of it at all, it's just some weird noise. However, he IS able to make out that something package-related is taking place.
-His voices are quite derogatory imo and not everyone has super insulting ones like that. He likely also has a history of depression.
-The TV has the effect where he is just hearing something completely different than what's happening.
-He is still trying to process wtf happened on the TV based on the "weatherman" voices - like, he is thinking about it and therefore hallucinates bits of his actual thoughts (only some people with sz or psychosis will hear their thoughts out loud, known as thought broadcasting, though). Apparently, his voices have decided to inform him that something prophetic about the weather is going down, but he can't make proper sense of that line of thought. I imagine his thought process to be like: "What just happened on TV?" "It's the weather!" "What is...?" This type of thinking can also be purely internal.
-Many of his hallucinations are in third person, suggesting that some of his internal thought patterns refer to himself as "you" instead of "I." Also, I mean, if you keep hallucinating voices that are like "you this" "you that" it no longer seems unreasonable to believe they originate from some kind of Other...
-"stop it! stop it with your mind!" - implies a belief that he can simply "will" himself back to normal. Kind of sad if you think about it... he is trying to control it but can't.
-The crazy shit brains can do, man...
-There's an ADHD simulation too and man is it trippy
If you have any questions about this sort of thing or want me to help clarify something, please don't hesitate to ask :3 It's a little embarrassing, but I'll admit that it took me a long time to understand what some of the terms relating to MI meant. I mean you can read the diagnostic book but that's not the same as knowing how it looks in real life. Even psychiatrists and therapists have trouble with certain illnesses if they either have not experienced it personally or are not very well-read in that particular disorder (a common one I see for psychotic disorders is confusing catatonia for hallucinating - a catatonic person is not automatically hallucinating and unless they are looking around or talking to themselves in a specific way, it's actually hard for an outside observer to see if someone is hallucinating). Also, some of the terms felt kind of vague or hard to understand to me even when a definition was available. Simply put, most of the time they aren't written in layman's terms, and even on casual websites etc they are just quoting the same phrases, and sometimes even giving misleading information (an obvious indicator that the writer is not really that familiar with what they are discussing). I didn't define everything on my comments though because I assumed you might either already know what they are or be able to google them, but if you are still confused about something feel free to ask me and I'll try to layman it for you if I can. Or if you want me to comment on a different character's hallucinations/visions or other MI symptoms, I'm game.
And oh! It's okay if you are too busy to respond back, I know I made these long as shit, and not everyone has that kind of time to sit and chat for hours like this.
I WAS TRYING TO MAKE IT SHORTER THIS TIME *cries*
I'm pretty sure this is tangentiality ugh
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Thank you!
The thing is, he was never officially diagnosed, no one cared enough about this poor little boy to diagnose him XD Only the readers and author know that. Your second paragraph is what was intended. I was considerinig wording it differently in the story so I'l go back and do that so this is more clear.
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? thanks? I am feeling mostly better now if you are concerned on this ^w^;
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It's intentional, glad you noticed <3 Thank you for the comment
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Thank you for your feedback too juliana!
Is he a doctor?
Forgive my ignorance.
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Of course, dear friend :3
Ah-, no, but I think he'd need one indeed XD If you want, you can read about my story here.
Explanation of New Eden
Tales of New Eden/ToNE is a story revolving around a magical garden, existing outside of time and as essentially a type of purgatory. When a person dies, if they meet certain criteria (mainly if the garden sees them as “worthy” to be a host for it's immense thirst, as well as a representative of its beauty), they will enter immediately, often trapped there for the equivalent of many years, and undergoing many trials.
New Eden itself is sentient, and contains much land divided into many little “kingdoms”. The ruler of each of those kingdoms is a person chosen from the beginning of time, destined to enter into it, and often with the combination of exterior beauty but some fatal flaw in their mind/personality. This is because New Eden feeds off evil, negativity, and pain in order to keep itself alive; the reason why, or how it does this, is currently unknown.
These “rulers” will undergo many trials while within Eden, though they will often be suffering
Nothing to apologise for, I like discussing thing <3
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So good to see your art again, honey. Your style remains so elegant and captivating, how I missed being here.
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That's so sweet of you to say ;w; You're always so kind
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Aw shucks, you deserve the kindness ^^
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Thank you so much for the feature! And he looks so good in this outfit, I love it!
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Aww, you deserve it dear :'3 And I definitely appreciate your saying so
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This looks simply lovely! So elegant! Nice use of reds and blood too
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Ahh ^////^ Thank you so much!
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//fangirls
He's too beautiful for me aaaa
I love him so much i'm so happy you made a modern form for him!!!!
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Hhhhhhh I'm smiling too much ;w; Thank you so mUCH your comments always make my day
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