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T0xicEye — SoH: Prologue Pg8
Published: 2010-10-25 11:07:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 9414; Favourites: 159; Downloads: 49
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Description
Geez, finally.
Cover: [link]
Previous:[link]
Next: [link]
Not my best work so far, but at least it's the next page.
Also, adding those manga effects into it is kinda hard. :/
"Sleight of Hand" and chars are (c) to
Image (c) to me
Related content
Comments: 41
No, he just has funky looking eyes. XD
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YESSSSSSSS. ANOTHER ONE!!! FINALLY! Woo! *waits patiently for more*
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MORE MORE MORE!! In high demand!
Keep up the VERY AWESOME work you two.
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Thank you, glad you like it :3. We'll try our hardest *g* 
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you are most welcome and I don't doubt that!
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We too, they have awesome dynamics XD.
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they are adorable, so sweet and funny, just wanna hug them
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I can't wait to see what happens next! I love how you two did the drawings.
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Yay, die neue Seite 
Ich schließe mich AlfaFilly mit den Speechbubbles an. Im ersten Panel habe ich zuerst Dayhawks Sprechblase gelesen, obwohl Nighteye davor käme. Vielleicht könntest du Night's Sprechblase etwas weiter nach oben links rücken?
Ich würde auch ein bißchen auf die Größe der Schrift achten. Nighteye spricht im ersten Panel normal, Dayhawk ruft, dann wird auch Night lauter. Im zweiten Panel spricht Day wieder normal, während Night eher gereizt klingt. Wenn du die Größe der Schrift noch etwas den "Emotionen" anpasst, kommen sie auch für den Leser besser rüber. Mein Vorschlag: Hast du eine Standardgröße für normal gesprochene Sprache? Dann würde ich die in normalen Dialogen verwenden, und alles was lauter wird dann entsprechend größer tippen. Die Schriftgröße hat sich über die letzten Seiten nämlich stetig verändert, etwas Einheitliches wäre besser 
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Aber Nachtansichten sind so schwer zu malen. T^T
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Lol, sorry - der Perfektionismus schlägt wieder zu :'D *in nächste Ecke verkriecht*.
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D8< Darn Perfektionismus. Der kommt immer meiner Faulheit dazwischen. Und vice-versa. -3-
Must...fight...lazyness.
btw: Ich arbeite grad simultan an den Seiten 9 und 10. Bin mit beiden fast fertig.
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This page is definitely lovely. You do very beautiful night scenes~
I can see this being quite challenging with Nighteye's colorations being in similar tones to the background. But you did very well considering! Might be difficult on a darker monitor but on lighter ones it's quite easy.
I also like how the dialogue sounds rather natural between the two. Your spelling and grammar is very well done! C:
If I could suggest anything for later pages would be to be careful with speech balloon placement as in some panels it's really hard to tell who is talking (in panel 5 with Nighteye's whisper balloon tail not properly pointing to him and 6 where the two balloons are connecting). Also, it's generally a rule in comics to try your best to aim the balloon tails towards the character's mouth, not their body ^^
Very awesome! You are getting better and better with each page~
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Thank you again for the critique :3 <3.
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You're welcome! C:
If it ever gets tiresome just tell me and I'll stop! xD
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It won't, I'm sure of that XD.
Btw, you're an english native, right? If so, I'd have a question 
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Yes indeed! C: Ask whatever~
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Okay ^^. It's about a possible language fail in panel two. At first it said "Dayhawk! That's decidedly not funny!" A non-native pointed out that "decidedly" is wrong and should be changed into "definately", but for me it's almost one and the same. "Decidedly" sounded good to me, so which one do I use? And why?
I made the dialogues, so I just want to know to avoid the same mistake in the future, if there is one x'D.
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Ah! Well, you can certainly use the term "decidedly" but it would probably work better for a character with a very advanced vocabulary, or one with a more "sophisticated" way of speaking, as "decidedly" is not a common word to use in that context for the average person. For a more casual speech, using "definitely" would work better.
But you can also completely take the word out and just say "Dayhawk! That's NOT funny..." if you want it to be very simply put. C:
So it's not so much an error as just a manner or speaking. If that makes sense?
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Yeah, that makes sense XD. I felt like I overuse "definately" (not in the comic yet, but I know my manner of speaking), so I searched for a different term this time. But if it's casual speech, then it 1. makes sense why I use it so often XD, and 2. it works for both of them, since they're youths and at the bottom of the hierarchy. A sophisticated way of speaking is more fitting for one of the Alphas, I think.
When I rethink it, both words are kinda unnecessary Oo; (damn you college and your influence, coughlol).
Thanks so much, I learned something 8D!
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You're welcome! Glad to help 8D
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Oh, Nighteye is so difficult to draw in nightscenes. Darn fur color.
c: I think my anatomy and the facial expressions are getting better (which cannot be seen in this page, since the outlines were done weeks ago, but you will see it on the next pages).
But I am still not that happy with my backgrounds. :/ They are so timeconsuming, especially the large panorama views.
btw: Wasn't your b-day yesterday? I would have drawn you something, but I am so uncreative. ^^'
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Dawws, it's ok. Laziness happens to all of us
I definitely think so too. I noticed you are getting into a nice set style that works really nicely. I can guess the newer pages will be even better~
And yes indeed, BGs always take a good deal of time, but without them it just doesn't work. Oh woe.
Indeed!
Aww that's ok! It seems as the years go by I get less and less gift art and it really doesn't faze me any. Just knowing someone is wishing you a good day is enough for me~
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Nice finally, yay 
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I made the dialogue, so can I ask why "decidedly" doesn't work? I'm really just asking out of interest, because I'm no native, and it sounded good to me 
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actually i have never heard the word before, but i looked it up and it is defined as "without a doubt" or "without question" , im no native either, im from norway 
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Oi, I see. I'll ask a native speaker about it then ^^'.
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I must admit, I had most of the page done already since weeks. I just couldn't bring myself to finish the backgrounds.
(I worked simultaniously on pages 8-12, so the next updates will hopefully be faster).
D8 And I thought I checked the spelling/grammar enough. "definitely" is the better choice, I also totally made a spelling error in "decidedly".
Thanks for pointing that out.
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well, i thought so
hehe np. im glad you took it nicely
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Oh, after the first chapter there will finally be a bit more action. Also many more chars (therefore all the charsheets I've been uploading altely).
Ah, you mean Ley. Yeah, he's a wolf.
Nah, I'm glad when someone helps with the spelling. Neither of us has english as a first language, so we often struggle with the right grammar and spelling.
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cool
maybe he seemed special since he got much shorter fur
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Wow! great page! I love the designs you use and the bg looks awesome too
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Nice work!! Though my computer screen makes it a bit hard to read 'cause of all the dark tones. Ah well, I managed.
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Yayaaya the next page! I like Nighteye's
face in Panel ... 3??
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I think nighttime pictures are a bit harder to do. This turned out nicely though!
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:3 Mean, I know. (I personally hate cliff hangers.)
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Haha x]
I have a love/hate relationship with them =]
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