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tavaresg — 'Where.. were YOU last night?'
by-nc-sa
Published: 2010-12-09 14:59:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 1125; Favourites: 22; Downloads: 0
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Description
Toni enters her home at one o-clock in the morning. With a smile and a sigh, she bounces into the living room and falls into the couch she used to sit and cry on. Lavon walks into the room. Toni rests her crossed legs on the arm of the couch and runs her fingers through her hair.Toni: Hi, babe.
Lavon: It's kinda late...
Toni: Nice to see you too.
Lavon: It's just... I didn't expect you so late.
Toni: (pouts) Am I past my curfew, daddy? If you were so concerned, you could've called, you know.
Lavon: I thought you wanted some privacy. You never call when I'm out.
Toni: Well, I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I'm fine. I did expect to get home earlier, but, time flies...
Lavon: So, where were you last night?
Toni: With a friend. We saw a show. We had dinner. We talked on the way home.
Lavon: Who was it?
Toni: Lavon, I'm not going to lie to you... It was a guy.
lavon is speechless. His brow curls as he searches for words.
Lavon: What? Toni... What?
Toni sits up
Toni: When's the last time we went out?
Lavon: What does it matter?! You can't be...
Toni: Four months ago... My birthday. Baby, I need more of you then that. I'm your wife...
Lavon: Yeah! You're my wife! Who is this guy?
Toni: A friend.
Lavon: A friend?!
Toni: Just a friend. He had an extra ticket to see Dave Pryor and I went with him. It was nothing.
Lavon: I hope he's gay. He's gay right?
Toni is silent
Lavon: Yeah, he's gay. One of those guys from your job, huh?
Toni: Does it matter? Lavon, why is it we couldn't see that show together? I don't want to have to go with some... guy just so I won't be alone.
Lavon: Then don't go! I didn't force you! If you wanted to see a show with me, say so!
Toni: Way to think proactively, babe.
Lavon: So, lemme see... It's cool for YOU to go out with another guy... Gay guy right...?
Toni narrows her eyes at him
Lavon: ...But, It wouldn't be cool for me to do the same with another chick? How the fuck...?
Toni: (Gives a cheeky smile) Did you forget, baby? I used to be that 'other chick'.
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Comments: 10
A+++
WILL READ AGAIN
Highly recommended. Fast and easy.
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Kinda painful to read (I separated back in '03)
Was this written from personal experience? I feel the pain, guy.
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Man this is all fucked up.
LMAO! You sir are a good story teller.
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Thanks! 'King of the monsters' coming soon.
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I love this! Great dialouge, great story to go with it! Brilliant...shear brilliance!!!
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I've just subbed to your work and what you do with the picture story tellin thing is VERY inspiring. I'm likin what you got goin on man. How do you do it? Do you have the story already written up and you draw certain scenes? Or is it all freestyle?
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Mostly I know what is gong to happen in the future and dialogue comes naturally when the story is planned and the preliminary sketches are done. If you know everything about what the characters know, the dialogue writes itself. I mean, what else could happen in this situation?
If the characters are good, they write themselves. I try to make my characters as interesting and rounded as possible. People have many facets to themselves and placing them in certain situations is a way for me to explore that.
Also, I actually act out the scenes so the dialogue sounds natural. I hate wooden dialogue. ...Like the star wars prequels.
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What you're saying here reminds me of when Frank Miller and Chris Claremont made the first Wolverine mini-series; once you iron-out the character, it's easier to write the story for them.
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Cool man. I understand. I'm a writer also and I know what you mean. I just love how you have an art piece go with the story. I think I might try it out.
Keep it up though man. When I have time I'm gonna start from the beginning of your gallery to understand everything. =]
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