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Description

Author: Tessitra
Game: Mass effect 3
characters/pairing: Joker and Femshep and a little smut with James
genre: Romance, adventure (warning mature content, so don't read if sensitive to this.)
Story length: planning on a 5-10 Chapter, depends on the reviewing....

Summary: Riley Shepard confronts her feelings to Joker at the purgatory. What she finds out is Joker had feelings for her before but still gets rejected. Heartbroken and back at the Normandy, she leans to another for comfort which gives her some naughty conflicts afterward. Rated as M content. A fanfic about the close relationship between Joker and Shep. Some smut stuff with Vega.

Disclaimer: Bioware owns every rights to the game, everything belongs to them. Every character except my Riley, that is mine and my imagination to the story.

(Something happened when I was uploading it her on deviantart. So i had to devide the first chapter into 2 parts, so the continue comes right after this, still on chapter 1)

When you are near
Chapter 1

The music was playing loud in the purgatory. Everyone was dancing and feeling the rhythm lurking like a drug to their soul. Though it was more like a desperation dance ( like forget your problem cause tomorrow you might be dead anyway)

Shepard saw Joker sitting alone at the bar looking at the people dancing. Now Shepard had the chance to tell him how she really felt. Joker had been there since the beginning, when she defeated Saren all those years ago. A big sigh came out from her mouth and she fixed her shoulder strap to her black dress.

“Here I go”

Shepard walked up slowly to him, with every step being harder to take. The music was so loud Joker didn't hear Shepard approaching him. When she was so close that she could touch him, she sat down beside him to his left and ordered a batarian ale.
“Commander!” Joker said just noticing her sitting down beside him. He turned his face to watch the people dancing and shook his head rapidly. “Can you believe this commander? All it ever took for this” showing with his hand at the people dancing.”Was Cerberus attacking the Citadel. I mean c'mon that is not happy dancing. More like “get out off my face” dance.”

Shepard smiled at his very obvious and sarcastic words, but Joker was right. The council just shut her out like they did the last time. Look what happened then and now they paid for it by the attack of cerberus. Her face changed from happy to sad. Joker saw her changing of expression, and waved his hand in front of her face. “Hey commander? You aright?” Shepard gazed at Joker at a glimpse and tried smiling.

“What if everything I'm doing is for nothing? Out here trying to build an alliance. Cause the council is to blind to see the universe is in constant threat by the reapers, and....”

Joker reached out his hand to hers and interrupted her. “I'm pretty sure the council knows about the serious threat by the reapers, you warned them about it! Hell you even took out a reaper on Tuchanka. You're doing a hell outta job bringing the species together commander. I never thought I see the day that the krogan and the turian fighting together, but you made that happen! So don't you fucking blame yourself, cause without you we wouldn't even get this far.”

Shepard smiled widely and got goose-flesh by Jokers words, he always knew how to cheer her up. Sliding his hand away from hers and gave a small smile.
“We wouldn't get far without you either Jeff, the best damned pilot in the universe. I'm really glad to have known you. Having you by my side from day one.” Giving him a small nudge on his cap.

“Hell commander! You're not gonna ask me to marry you?” He smiled and fixed his cap on his head straight. Shepard gave a nervous laugh and felt her cheeks getting warm. Reaching for her glass, but her hand was shaking so hard she withdrew. Joker took his last sip of his alcohol and waved the bartender for another and his friend. The bartender came back with two green shots. Shepard stared at him curiously. He reached his hands to get the both shots he ordered and handed one over to Shepard.
Gazing right into her deep hazel eyes. Shepard felt her hands starting to shake again, she cracked her fingers together so he wouldn't notice that she was nervous. She took the shot from him and placed it closer to her chest.

“Here's to us! Saving the universe when all hell is breaking lose.”

Joker raised his glass over his head still looking into Shepard's eyes. Then he poured the liquor into his mouth. Shepard did the same a little bit slower of course, still looking at Joker. She saw Joker grimacing and struck the glass down on the bar with mighty force. Shepard saw something was bothering him and tilted her head to her side, looking at him. “Something bothering you Joker?” He shook his head and snorted, he was starting at someone sitting by a table. Shepard lifted her head to get a better sight of what he was looking at. She saw EDI the AI. Sitting there by herself. An anger grew slowly in Shepard's body, was it jealousy.

“So Shepard” Joker stuttered looking at EDI.” Just out of the blue, but what do you think about me and EDI?” Her mouth opened in shock but closed it quickly before Joker could notice. Those words was exactly the thing she didn't want to hear, but she had to say something.

“You know of all this interest to EDI” Shepard nod her head to EDI.” It's possible you overlooked other options.” saying without thinking, her cheeks got slightly red when she saw the surprised reaction on Joker's face. “ I ah...I ah... I never really thought about considering the possibilities” He stuttered watching her face with widened eyes. Like he was feeling really uncomfortable by her question. Shepard gave a small smirk. “And now when you know there is a possibility?” she could feel her heart beating faster by the tense situation. Joker sat still, looking at her with neutral expression.
“I served from the day one when you took command. I followed you into hell and back.” Joker stopped and reached for his drink he had ordered a minute ago. Shepard gave a sad sigh seeing Joker trying to avoid eye-contact. “Everywhere except into my quarters” His eyes gazed at her from his side. “This came all so sudden Shepard. Hell it's not that you're not attractive , cause you are.” turning to look at her feminine features on her face. Her long black hair as night put into a ponytail, a small faded scar on her left temple. Her deep hazel eyes with her long eyelashes flashing. Staring back to him. She was really beautiful. But her sudden honesty made him feel nervous like a school boy. This was for cry out load commander Shepard. Savior of the citadel and alone survivor at Akuze. No way in hell she could really be serious about this.

“It's a shame Jeff.” Shepard answered trying not to sound overly upset. Inside her heart cracked into million pieces. All the other men she had rejected wanting to be with her. First Kaidan, who later died on Virmire while setting the bomb off. After that she rejected Garrus before the suicide mission to omega 4-relay. Now she was being rejected herself, cause she waited to long to tell her feelings for him. Cause he was interested in EDI. A non living organic, the whole idea off her being with Joker made Shepard sick.

Her thoughts got disturbed when she heard Joker saying beside her. “You're yanking my chain? Right commander?” Shepard almost felt insulted by his assumption. Raising one eyebrow to him.”Does it look like I'm joking?” Jokers face suddenly changed to more serious he turned on his chair facing her and said with a loud voice.”You have to be kidding Shepard! I liked you almost the first day I meet you. I assumed you liked Kaidan but then he died, which was horrible. I felt like maybe just maybe I could be there for you, so you could lean on me. But with my better judgment I didn't tell you, cause not fraternize with commanding officer.” he paused and snorted “ And who would ever like a guy with vroliks.”

Shepard tried taking his hand but he just waved it off and gritted his teeth. “After defeating Saren you....you... you died! Just cause I didn't get my lazy ass up in time and you had to drag me off from that damned chair. I blamed my self for a very long time. Then cerberus contacted me and said they could fix my legs so I wouldn't use crutches anymore. But then they mentioned you. They told me they had found you, and within time they could bring you back. I thought when you were back I would tell you how I really felt. Of course Garrus felt the same time, confessing his”undying” love so I backed off. And now when I finally start to have feelings for another, you tell me that you have feelings for me. Well no offense commander, but screw you!”

Joker stopped talking, looking at his drink and drank the rest of the liquor. Shepard who had hard time handling the words, just realized he said he “liked” her as not anymore. Yet he didn't say anything either. So in her point of view they were both idiots. “Well excuse me so fucking much. This isn't only my fault. What happened to “I never considered the possibilities?” NO! This is also your fault Jeff! I'm sorry I didn't tell you later, but you didn't even do it yourself, and I doubt you would ever tell me. So excuse me for saying this but screw you Joker, screw you.” Joker got surprised by her words but he knew she was right, he felt a shame growing inside.

“I'm sorry Shepard, I never meant to hurt you, or wait this long to tell you.” Shepard had to know why? “Why didn't you tell me the truth? That you liked me before?” Joker smiled, it almost looked like he blushed a little. Scratching his neck and glanced at Shepard. “Well to be honest it came like a shock when you told me you had feelings for me. It kinda felt like you were mocking me.”
Shepard raised a brow and joker quickly said.”Which I know you would never do that. When I realized that, I felt stupid. I saw your face when I told you all those things. If I could turn back time, I would! Then I would tell you that you made me feel alive. Whenever I looked upon you, my heart skipped a beat, and when I saw you talking to Kaidan I became so jealous I had to relax with a lot of drinking. As I said, if I could turn back time I would, but I'm no wizard commander.” Joker felt like a lump in his chest vanishing for finally telling her that, for so long he had kept the secret for himself, it was like a relief.

Shepard gave a warmly smile, taking every of her strength not to kiss him. Those luscious lips, Jokers lips. Her eyes watched him lick his opening of his mouth, she really wanted to feel his lips on hers. Without thinking she took his hand and smiled.

“Kiss me.”

Oh crap what did I say? Her thoughts started to regret saying it, seeing Jokers eyes widened. He swallowed, did she really just say that? “Is that an order commander?” he tried to joke away the subject. Slowly sliding his hand away from hers. Shepard just stared lustfully into his eyes, and thought hey I gone this far. She gave a flirtatious smile. “Hell yes.”

Her sexy voice made Jokers heart pound extra hard. He began to see images of him kissing Shepard. Even if he really wanted to kiss her it wasn't right. Thinking about the uniform and not to fraternize with the command in chief. What were they doing anyway? He looked away from her and tried letting down her gently. “Then I have to disobey that order...mam” For the first time under her command he disobeyed her order, but this time for whole other reasons. Shepard let her hand slid to her middle. She could almost feel her eyes filling with tears. Clenching her fists in reaction.

“Oh I see....” she paused , and her eyes starting to twitch. “ Well this has taken to much of my time, I have to get back to the Normandy. I'll see you back there flight lieutenant.” Shepard stood up, still clenching her fists, trying so hard not to let any tears run from hers eyes. Bowing her head slight to Joker and turned to walk away from the bar. Hearing Jokers voice calling at her in the background. She just wanted to get the hell outta there.

While back at the Normandy she passed James and Steve not looking at them, she just wanted to be alone right now. With quick footsteps she walked in to the Normandy's elevator and leaned her back to the wall. Shaking her head by everything that happened. Resting her hands to her eyes, she could feel the tears building. “Commander hey, there is someth...” It was James putting his hands, to the elevator doors stopping it from going up. Shepard hurried her hands to her side. Trying to hide her face against the wall. James heard her sniffle and knew something wasn't right. “You okay Lola?” she glinted at him, turning to face him. Seeing James smile back to her with concerned eyes.”It's nothing really. Just tired that's all.” trying to give a ensured smile back to him. James stepped into the elevator standing in-front of her.
Placing his hand on her shoulder.
“You want me to beat someone up Lola?”

Shepard gave a rich laugh by his comment and just shook her head. Looking at the muscular man trying to make her feel better.
“That wont be necessary Vega. Besides don't you think I'm quite capable to defend myself?” Shepard smirked crossing her arms to the soldier. He snorted giving a light smile. “Just saying. Everyone needs some help once in awhile.” Shepard gazed at him nodding in understanding. “You don't need to tell me that twice” Thinking about all the species she had helped before they joined their fight against the reapers. “So what was it you needed me to see lieutenant?” James just shook his head and articulated with his hand no way. “Nah uh commander, that can wait. You get your ass back up to you're quarters and take your own sweet time to relax.”

Shepard frowned her one eyebrow looking at James. “You're ordering me? To take some rest?” James stepped closer to her leaning his body closer to his right and smiled teasingly. “No it's a suggestion. But if it would make you feel better I could always keep you company” The lieutenant was a sneaky bastard that always flirted with her whenever he got the chance. She couldn't complain though, he was hot as hell. Shepard stared at Vega smiling. Putting her hands on his chest and pushed him out slowly out the elevator.

“Not this time Vega not this time.”

James crossed his arms and laughed. “Suit your self commander. If you need me you know were to find me.” He saluted her as he gave one of his sexy smiles.

The elevator doors closed and Shepard waved her hand ( as if to hot in there). If it wasn't for her feelings for Joker. She would be so over James right now. The days was already painful enough to think about. The elevator pinged, she had reached her cabin. Stepping out of the elevator. Lights to the aquarium-tank lit up. There was no fishes in there though, they all died anyway. So now she just kept it as decoration. She had a hamster though, called Saren, out of irony, cause he always bit her and disappeared from his cage.

Shepard sat herself on the couch, laying her legs on the small table and letting her head rest on the couch-top. Giving a big sigh. Would things ever get back to normal between Joker and her? He was always there for her, making her laugh, instead today he made her feel like she wanted to die. Heartbroken by this stupid ridiculous thing. Shepard shook her head rolling her eyes. “You're such an idiot Riley” She gazed to the shower, feeling like she could really use a hot shower. Standing up and walked over to the bathroom. Starting undressing from her black dress she laid her dress on the bathroom chest, she started the shower and let the water pour over her skin. The water felt so good on her body, she really needed this. Feeling like her problems just washing away.

Taking the soap that was standing on the sink. Starting to roll the soap on her arms, her shoulders. When getting to her stomach James came across her mind. The muscular man standing in the elevator teasing her before. Was the invitation for real? Or just his normal teasing. The thought dug deeper in her mind as she came below her navel between her legs. It felt warm and pulsating by the thought of James. Giving out a small gasp when she began playing with her fingers inside the warmth. Flicking her clit with small movements, like a circle. Her pulse rose and her breathings became more uncontrollable. Starting to squirm out of pleasure, biting down on her lip, her moans got louder. It was so long time ago she explored herself like this that she almost forgotten how good it really felt like. Being so close her climax, she put her left hand on the wall and her right hand remaining at her clit. With one more flick with her finger, she gave out one big moan, feeling the pleasure overflowing her body. Her knees started shaking, it was all so very hard to stand. Why she didn't do this more often became absurd. It was the best to release stress. Expect being on the battlefield of course.

She blushed by the image that made her like this. It wasn't Joker, it was James! The thought of him made her blood rush up in pleasure. What if? She and him could?..... Nooo, that wouldn't be right. Just being turned down by Joker. Thinking by the matter more she stopped. Wait! Being turned down by Joker? She had all right to have a fling with James, if he now would go for it of course. Besides Shepard wasn't looking for a serious relationship with him anyway so what could happen? Joker didn't want her anyway. Shepard turned the shower off, took a towel from the bathroom sink and dried her body leaving her hair a slight damp.

She walked over to her drawer searching for something comfy to wear. She found her red sweatpants and a black linen, black was favorite her color. That would have to do. Her hair was put in a clumsy knot so the water from her hair wouldn't drip to much.
What she was about to do now was really crazy, not really her stile, but she did it anyway. Pressing the button to the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. Heartbeat raising when she thought about this insane act. But there was no second thoughts now. *Ping* the elevator doors opened and she stepped in, pressing the button that said shuttle bay. The elevator started going down as Shepard walked back and forth in there, laughing quietly at how stupid this was.

The little person on her shoulder. Who was suppose to tell her go back to your cabin now! Well those only existed in cartoons.*Ping* Her eyes widened and she became all so nervous all sudden. The door opened. Standing with her back on the wall, she had a tight grip on the elevators railing. Staring down at the floor, she sighed and took a first step out the elevator. She only needed to take some few steps, then she saw James. Standing 10 feet away. Working with something at his desk.

The heat inside Shepard grew stronger when she saw Vegas arms flex. Just the image of him touching her made her sweat. Finding the courage she stepped closer so he could hear her. “James! Hey James?”

Vega started looking around at both sides, to see who it was calling for him. Then he saw Shepard standing close the elevator. “Hey Lola, couldn't get enough of the view huh?” he asked self-assured with teasing eyes. If you only knew Vega baby, Shepard thought. “I wanted to talk to you about the N7 program. What are you gonna do bout it? Maybe I could give you some tips and downers? So come up to my cabin and we can talk about it.”

Description

Author: Tessitra
Game: Mass effect 3
characters/pairing: Joker and Femshep and a little smut with James
genre: Romance, adventure (warning mature content, so don't read if sensitive to this.)
Story length: planning on a 5-10 Chapter, depends on the reviewing....

Summary: Riley Shepard confronts her feelings to Joker at the purgatory. What she finds out is Joker had feelings for her before but still gets rejected. Heartbroken and back at the Normandy, she leans to another for comfort which gives her some naughty conflicts afterward. Rated as M content. A fanfic about the close relationship between Joker and Shep. Some smut stuff with Vega.

Disclaimer: Bioware owns every rights to the game, everything belongs to them. Every character except my Riley, that is mine and my imagination to the story.

(Something happened when I was uploading it her on deviantart. So i had to devide the first chapter into 2 parts, so the continue comes right after this, still on chapter 1)

When you are near
Chapter 1

The music was playing loud in the purgatory. Everyone was dancing and feeling the rhythm lurking like a drug to their soul. Though it was more like a desperation dance ( like forget your problem cause tomorrow you might be dead anyway)

Shepard saw Joker sitting alone at the bar looking at the people dancing. Now Shepard had the chance to tell him how she really felt. Joker had been there since the beginning, when she defeated Saren all those years ago. A big sigh came out from her mouth and she fixed her shoulder strap to her black dress.

“Here I go”

Shepard walked up slowly to him, with every step being harder to take. The music was so loud Joker didn't hear Shepard approaching him. When she was so close that she could touch him, she sat down beside him to his left and ordered a batarian ale.
“Commander!” Joker said just noticing her sitting down beside him. He turned his face to watch the people dancing and shook his head rapidly. “Can you believe this commander? All it ever took for this” showing with his hand at the people dancing.”Was Cerberus attacking the Citadel. I mean c'mon that is not happy dancing. More like “get out off my face” dance.”

Shepard smiled at his very obvious and sarcastic words, but Joker was right. The council just shut her out like they did the last time. Look what happened then and now they paid for it by the attack of cerberus. Her face changed from happy to sad. Joker saw her changing of expression, and waved his hand in front of her face. “Hey commander? You aright?” Shepard gazed at Joker at a glimpse and tried smiling.

“What if everything I'm doing is for nothing? Out here trying to build an alliance. Cause the council is to blind to see the universe is in constant threat by the reapers, and....”

Joker reached out his hand to hers and interrupted her. “I'm pretty sure the council knows about the serious threat by the reapers, you warned them about it! Hell you even took out a reaper on Tuchanka. You're doing a hell outta job bringing the species together commander. I never thought I see the day that the krogan and the turian fighting together, but you made that happen! So don't you fucking blame yourself, cause without you we wouldn't even get this far.”

Shepard smiled widely and got goose-flesh by Jokers words, he always knew how to cheer her up. Sliding his hand away from hers and gave a small smile.
“We wouldn't get far without you either Jeff, the best damned pilot in the universe. I'm really glad to have known you. Having you by my side from day one.” Giving him a small nudge on his cap.

“Hell commander! You're not gonna ask me to marry you?” He smiled and fixed his cap on his head straight. Shepard gave a nervous laugh and felt her cheeks getting warm. Reaching for her glass, but her hand was shaking so hard she withdrew. Joker took his last sip of his alcohol and waved the bartender for another and his friend. The bartender came back with two green shots. Shepard stared at him curiously. He reached his hands to get the both shots he ordered and handed one over to Shepard.
Gazing right into her deep hazel eyes. Shepard felt her hands starting to shake again, she cracked her fingers together so he wouldn't notice that she was nervous. She took the shot from him and placed it closer to her chest.

“Here's to us! Saving the universe when all hell is breaking lose.”

Joker raised his glass over his head still looking into Shepard's eyes. Then he poured the liquor into his mouth. Shepard did the same a little bit slower of course, still looking at Joker. She saw Joker grimacing and struck the glass down on the bar with mighty force. Shepard saw something was bothering him and tilted her head to her side, looking at him. “Something bothering you Joker?” He shook his head and snorted, he was starting at someone sitting by a table. Shepard lifted her head to get a better sight of what he was looking at. She saw EDI the AI. Sitting there by herself. An anger grew slowly in Shepard's body, was it jealousy.

“So Shepard” Joker stuttered looking at EDI.” Just out of the blue, but what do you think about me and EDI?” Her mouth opened in shock but closed it quickly before Joker could notice. Those words was exactly the thing she didn't want to hear, but she had to say something.

“You know of all this interest to EDI” Shepard nod her head to EDI.” It's possible you overlooked other options.” saying without thinking, her cheeks got slightly red when she saw the surprised reaction on Joker's face. “ I ah...I ah... I never really thought about considering the possibilities” He stuttered watching her face with widened eyes. Like he was feeling really uncomfortable by her question. Shepard gave a small smirk. “And now when you know there is a possibility?” she could feel her heart beating faster by the tense situation. Joker sat still, looking at her with neutral expression.
“I served from the day one when you took command. I followed you into hell and back.” Joker stopped and reached for his drink he had ordered a minute ago. Shepard gave a sad sigh seeing Joker trying to avoid eye-contact. “Everywhere except into my quarters” His eyes gazed at her from his side. “This came all so sudden Shepard. Hell it's not that you're not attractive , cause you are.” turning to look at her feminine features on her face. Her long black hair as night put into a ponytail, a small faded scar on her left temple. Her deep hazel eyes with her long eyelashes flashing. Staring back to him. She was really beautiful. But her sudden honesty made him feel nervous like a school boy. This was for cry out load commander Shepard. Savior of the citadel and alone survivor at Akuze. No way in hell she could really be serious about this.

“It's a shame Jeff.” Shepard answered trying not to sound overly upset. Inside her heart cracked into million pieces. All the other men she had rejected wanting to be with her. First Kaidan, who later died on Virmire while setting the bomb off. After that she rejected Garrus before the suicide mission to omega 4-relay. Now she was being rejected herself, cause she waited to long to tell her feelings for him. Cause he was interested in EDI. A non living organic, the whole idea off her being with Joker made Shepard sick.

Her thoughts got disturbed when she heard Joker saying beside her. “You're yanking my chain? Right commander?” Shepard almost felt insulted by his assumption. Raising one eyebrow to him.”Does it look like I'm joking?” Jokers face suddenly changed to more serious he turned on his chair facing her and said with a loud voice.”You have to be kidding Shepard! I liked you almost the first day I meet you. I assumed you liked Kaidan but then he died, which was horrible. I felt like maybe just maybe I could be there for you, so you could lean on me. But with my better judgment I didn't tell you, cause not fraternize with commanding officer.” he paused and snorted “ And who would ever like a guy with vroliks.”

Shepard tried taking his hand but he just waved it off and gritted his teeth. “After defeating Saren you....you... you died! Just cause I didn't get my lazy ass up in time and you had to drag me off from that damned chair. I blamed my self for a very long time. Then cerberus contacted me and said they could fix my legs so I wouldn't use crutches anymore. But then they mentioned you. They told me they had found you, and within time they could bring you back. I thought when you were back I would tell you how I really felt. Of course Garrus felt the same time, confessing his”undying” love so I backed off. And now when I finally start to have feelings for another, you tell me that you have feelings for me. Well no offense commander, but screw you!”

Joker stopped talking, looking at his drink and drank the rest of the liquor. Shepard who had hard time handling the words, just realized he said he “liked” her as not anymore. Yet he didn't say anything either. So in her point of view they were both idiots. “Well excuse me so fucking much. This isn't only my fault. What happened to “I never considered the possibilities?” NO! This is also your fault Jeff! I'm sorry I didn't tell you later, but you didn't even do it yourself, and I doubt you would ever tell me. So excuse me for saying this but screw you Joker, screw you.” Joker got surprised by her words but he knew she was right, he felt a shame growing inside.

“I'm sorry Shepard, I never meant to hurt you, or wait this long to tell you.” Shepard had to know why? “Why didn't you tell me the truth? That you liked me before?” Joker smiled, it almost looked like he blushed a little. Scratching his neck and glanced at Shepard. “Well to be honest it came like a shock when you told me you had feelings for me. It kinda felt like you were mocking me.”
Shepard raised a brow and joker quickly said.”Which I know you would never do that. When I realized that, I felt stupid. I saw your face when I told you all those things. If I could turn back time, I would! Then I would tell you that you made me feel alive. Whenever I looked upon you, my heart skipped a beat, and when I saw you talking to Kaidan I became so jealous I had to relax with a lot of drinking. As I said, if I could turn back time I would, but I'm no wizard commander.” Joker felt like a lump in his chest vanishing for finally telling her that, for so long he had kept the secret for himself, it was like a relief.

Shepard gave a warmly smile, taking every of her strength not to kiss him. Those luscious lips, Jokers lips. Her eyes watched him lick his opening of his mouth, she really wanted to feel his lips on hers. Without thinking she took his hand and smiled.

“Kiss me.”

Oh crap what did I say? Her thoughts started to regret saying it, seeing Jokers eyes widened. He swallowed, did she really just say that? “Is that an order commander?” he tried to joke away the subject. Slowly sliding his hand away from hers. Shepard just stared lustfully into his eyes, and thought hey I gone this far. She gave a flirtatious smile. “Hell yes.”

Her sexy voice made Jokers heart pound extra hard. He began to see images of him kissing Shepard. Even if he really wanted to kiss her it wasn't right. Thinking about the uniform and not to fraternize with the command in chief. What were they doing anyway? He looked away from her and tried letting down her gently. “Then I have to disobey that order...mam” For the first time under her command he disobeyed her order, but this time for whole other reasons. Shepard let her hand slid to her middle. She could almost feel her eyes filling with tears. Clenching her fists in reaction.

“Oh I see....” she paused , and her eyes starting to twitch. “ Well this has taken to much of my time, I have to get back to the Normandy. I'll see you back there flight lieutenant.” Shepard stood up, still clenching her fists, trying so hard not to let any tears run from hers eyes. Bowing her head slight to Joker and turned to walk away from the bar. Hearing Jokers voice calling at her in the background. She just wanted to get the hell outta there.

While back at the Normandy she passed James and Steve not looking at them, she just wanted to be alone right now. With quick footsteps she walked in to the Normandy's elevator and leaned her back to the wall. Shaking her head by everything that happened. Resting her hands to her eyes, she could feel the tears building. “Commander hey, there is someth...” It was James putting his hands, to the elevator doors stopping it from going up. Shepard hurried her hands to her side. Trying to hide her face against the wall. James heard her sniffle and knew something wasn't right. “You okay Lola?” she glinted at him, turning to face him. Seeing James smile back to her with concerned eyes.”It's nothing really. Just tired that's all.” trying to give a ensured smile back to him. James stepped into the elevator standing in-front of her.
Placing his hand on her shoulder.
“You want me to beat someone up Lola?”

Shepard gave a rich laugh by his comment and just shook her head. Looking at the muscular man trying to make her feel better.
“That wont be necessary Vega. Besides don't you think I'm quite capable to defend myself?” Shepard smirked crossing her arms to the soldier. He snorted giving a light smile. “Just saying. Everyone needs some help once in awhile.” Shepard gazed at him nodding in understanding. “You don't need to tell me that twice” Thinking about all the species she had helped before they joined their fight against the reapers. “So what was it you needed me to see lieutenant?” James just shook his head and articulated with his hand no way. “Nah uh commander, that can wait. You get your ass back up to you're quarters and take your own sweet time to relax.”

Shepard frowned her one eyebrow looking at James. “You're ordering me? To take some rest?” James stepped closer to her leaning his body closer to his right and smiled teasingly. “No it's a suggestion. But if it would make you feel better I could always keep you company” The lieutenant was a sneaky bastard that always flirted with her whenever he got the chance. She couldn't complain though, he was hot as hell. Shepard stared at Vega smiling. Putting her hands on his chest and pushed him out slowly out the elevator.

“Not this time Vega not this time.”

James crossed his arms and laughed. “Suit your self commander. If you need me you know were to find me.” He saluted her as he gave one of his sexy smiles.

The elevator doors closed and Shepard waved her hand ( as if to hot in there). If it wasn't for her feelings for Joker. She would be so over James right now. The days was already painful enough to think about. The elevator pinged, she had reached her cabin. Stepping out of the elevator. Lights to the aquarium-tank lit up. There was no fishes in there though, they all died anyway. So now she just kept it as decoration. She had a hamster though, called Saren, out of irony, cause he always bit her and disappeared from his cage.

Shepard sat herself on the couch, laying her legs on the small table and letting her head rest on the couch-top. Giving a big sigh. Would things ever get back to normal between Joker and her? He was always there for her, making her laugh, instead today he made her feel like she wanted to die. Heartbroken by this stupid ridiculous thing. Shepard shook her head rolling her eyes. “You're such an idiot Riley” She gazed to the shower, feeling like she could really use a hot shower. Standing up and walked over to the bathroom. Starting undressing from her black dress she laid her dress on the bathroom chest, she started the shower and let the water pour over her skin. The water felt so good on her body, she really needed this. Feeling like her problems just washing away.

Taking the soap that was standing on the sink. Starting to roll the soap on her arms, her shoulders. When getting to her stomach James came across her mind. The muscular man standing in the elevator teasing her before. Was the invitation for real? Or just his normal teasing. The thought dug deeper in her mind as she came below her navel between her legs. It felt warm and pulsating by the thought of James. Giving out a small gasp when she began playing with her fingers inside the warmth. Flicking her clit with small movements, like a circle. Her pulse rose and her breathings became more uncontrollable. Starting to squirm out of pleasure, biting down on her lip, her moans got louder. It was so long time ago she explored herself like this that she almost forgotten how good it really felt like. Being so close her climax, she put her left hand on the wall and her right hand remaining at her clit. With one more flick with her finger, she gave out one big moan, feeling the pleasure overflowing her body. Her knees started shaking, it was all so very hard to stand. Why she didn't do this more often became absurd. It was the best to release stress. Expect being on the battlefield of course.

She blushed by the image that made her like this. It wasn't Joker, it was James! The thought of him made her blood rush up in pleasure. What if? She and him could?..... Nooo, that wouldn't be right. Just being turned down by Joker. Thinking by the matter more she stopped. Wait! Being turned down by Joker? She had all right to have a fling with James, if he now would go for it of course. Besides Shepard wasn't looking for a serious relationship with him anyway so what could happen? Joker didn't want her anyway. Shepard turned the shower off, took a towel from the bathroom sink and dried her body leaving her hair a slight damp.

She walked over to her drawer searching for something comfy to wear. She found her red sweatpants and a black linen, black was favorite her color. That would have to do. Her hair was put in a clumsy knot so the water from her hair wouldn't drip to much.
What she was about to do now was really crazy, not really her stile, but she did it anyway. Pressing the button to the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. Heartbeat raising when she thought about this insane act. But there was no second thoughts now. *Ping* the elevator doors opened and she stepped in, pressing the button that said shuttle bay. The elevator started going down as Shepard walked back and forth in there, laughing quietly at how stupid this was.

The little person on her shoulder. Who was suppose to tell her go back to your cabin now! Well those only existed in cartoons.*Ping* Her eyes widened and she became all so nervous all sudden. The door opened. Standing with her back on the wall, she had a tight grip on the elevators railing. Staring down at the floor, she sighed and took a first step out the elevator. She only needed to take some few steps, then she saw James. Standing 10 feet away. Working with something at his desk.

The heat inside Shepard grew stronger when she saw Vegas arms flex. Just the image of him touching her made her sweat. Finding the courage she stepped closer so he could hear her. “James! Hey James?”

Vega started looking around at both sides, to see who it was calling for him. Then he saw Shepard standing close the elevator. “Hey Lola, couldn't get enough of the view huh?” he asked self-assured with teasing eyes. If you only knew Vega baby, Shepard thought. “I wanted to talk to you about the N7 program. What are you gonna do bout it? Maybe I could give you some tips and downers? So come up to my cabin and we can talk about it.”