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TheSpokesman — Elkwood Blues chap.1
Published: 2010-08-19 01:23:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 652; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 4
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Description I brushed a coppery strand from my eyes and examined my work. The painting was pleasant. Just a simple landscape filled with cool colors. It spoke of my recent year, mild, tepid, and utterly dull. I dipped my brush into a pool of orange and drug it across the canvas setting the scene aflame.  I missed fire and being a normal teenager.
Well, maybe not normal. Maybe that was why I hadn't made a huge amount of friends this school year. I'm afraid I was less than understanding. Everyone was facing a disaster every day, because being a teenager is so hard. Mean girls spreading rumors, mean guys breaking it off, math tests, and drama. Trivial. I couldn't share my own troubles, not with mundanes. Not with normal people.
I'm a sorceress and that's a pretty big deal even among the Magic Touched. My mom is a witch, my dad a warlock, and somehow my brother and I are throwbacks to a stronger bloodline. He is a mage.
I had a serious future ahead of me up until last year. I was engaged to a Pyromancer, who was the nicest person I had ever met, I was assured a seat on the Magic Council, and I was in training to be one of the most powerful wielders of my gift.
Then everything crashed down around me. My brother returned from abroad distraught; after only four months of study his master died of old age and left all his books to another pupil. My parents got divorced. All of that was hard, but I could handle it. Then at the Summer Solstice party, where Pyro and I were to announce our engagement, we were attacked by vampires. He was killed.
Shortly after the memorial ceremony we moved here to the town of Elkwood. As I've said it's pleasant and thankfully vampire free. It is empty though, my family is preoccupied with their own problems and I have no friends here to confide in. I've had little time to mope as I've found myself worrying over everyone else.
A crash shook my easel and I had to grab my brush soaking glass to keep it from spilling onto the carpet. It sounded like my brother was thundering around in the attic again. It had to be him, because when Dad wasn't at work, he was out trying to replace Mom as soon as possible. I sat the glass down on my dresser, which somehow seemed sturdier than the house itself and made my way to the stairs.
I was greeted my thumps and grunts before I even reached the attic door. I pushed it open to find my brother tackling a punching bag and stabbing it brutally with and invisible weapon. I crossed my arms, it was sad, a grown man playing Buffy rather than moving on and getting a job or moving out. As much as I loved my family the moment I turned eighteen I would be out the door.
"Zack." I called, startling him and causing him to slip off the bag and hit the floor. "Are you going to be at this a while?"
He rolled to his knees and rubbed his rear end. "A few hours, why?"
I sighed. "In that case I'll be heading out for those few hours."
He hopped to his feet. "Sorry to disturb you kiddo, but I have to stay ready." He turned back to the bag and measured with his arms. "I think my angle was just a bit off."
I frowned. This was why I worried. After the events of the Solstice I had pretty much given up and forgotten magic as best I could. Zack however had become obsessed with becoming a vampire hunter and tracking down the monsters responsible. He even found a few real vampire hunters and asked to join them. They laughed, but he continued on his own.  I didn't see the point, Pyro was dead and there was no bringing him back. It was best to just move on.
"Well, give me a call if you need anything." I turned to leave.
"Oh, Wren, your birthday is next week, anything you want me to get you?"
I thought for a moment with my hand on the door handle. "A taller pair of boots would be nice." My current pair only bumped me up to a whooping five foot- two inches.
He chuckled. "I'll see what I can do."
It was only a few blocks to the coffee shop so, I didn't mind walking. A trip to the mall however, required a car that I didn't have.
I had never been a big fan of coffee; in fact you would have been hard pressed to even find a coffee shop in my old hometown. It had a large Magic Touched community and we like our tea. This shop however was close and did offer a few herbal teas that were excellent.
It was a nice place. The whole area was really artsy and many shops in this district you couldn't drive right up to. There was a parking area then you had to walk down the cobblestone streets. It cut down on noise and just seemed cleaner. There weren't any huge chain stores either every shop was family owned. It made me wonder why there weren't more people like me living here. After all, Magic Touched just ate up all this bohemian stuff.
I took my place in line behind a businessman waiting on his morning coffee. He tapped his foot until Greg, the clerk I knew from school, came around the corner with his steaming cup.
"Thank you." The man said quickly taking his cup and rushing toward the parking lot.
I saw Greg grab a newspaper off the counter. "Sir! Your paper!"
"Keep it." The man called back before disappearing around the corner.
Greg shrugged then held it out to me. "Paper, along with your usual?"
I smiled. "Why not? A tree died for it."
Greg grinned and turned around to make my favorite, cinnamon-apple herbal tea. He was a cool guy and had just graduated. Sadly, I had never spoken to him while we were in school only at the shop.
I looked over my newspaper; the front page was plastered with bad news. There had been a few mysterious killings in the past two months and the whole town was a buzz. It had to be otherwise I wouldn't have even known- I'm not a fan of television either.
"Looks like the same old bad news."
Greg mixed the piping hot ingredients in a tall cup. "Of course, it's what the masses crave." He said handing me my drink.
"Thank you." I passed him my money. "So, what are you doing after this summer? College?"
He shrugged. "Not sure yet, but I'm just an underachiever. How about you? Are you going to stick with your art thing?"
I ran my finger tip over the lid of my drink. "Hard to say. My art hasn't been very inspired lately. In fact it's been downright boring and that's really the only thing art can't afford to be."
"That's a shame." He leaned onto the counter. "You know, a few of my friends and I are going to drive out to the beach in a few weeks. Maybe you'd like to come?"
I found myself gripping the cup with both hands. "Oh, I don't know…"
"Well, it was going to be five guys and five girls in two hotel rooms, but Beth canceled… So, there's plenty of room. Maybe you could find some inspiration there."
"It sounds nice." I admitted. "I'll have to think about it…"
"Great!" He straightened up. "Just let me know, okay. It'll be a great time."
I nodded. "Okay, I'll let you know."  
I wandered outside to the little umbrella shaded tables. I chose one near the back. I needed peace so I could think. I sat down and popped the lid off of my cup so I could take a careful sip. I closed my eyes and let the tea burn its way down my throat. I let out a soft breath to cool my mouth.
I didn't know Greg or his friends very well, but the idea of getting away was very tempting. Dad would let me, I was sure of it. I did worry about leaving him and Zack alone though. Mostly Zack. Until he got this vampire hunting business out of his system I wasn't sure I could leave him be.
I leaned my head down and my necklaces swung into view. My trusty pentacle and Pyro's fire pendant. I rubbed the orange stone and sighed. He would have loved the beach and we would have both spent the entire time pouring on the sunscreen- we were both carrot-tops.  I rested my head in my hands. No point in thinking about it. He was gone. All I had left were memories, the pendant, and his true name that he'd given me only minutes before his death. That was the ultimate sign of trust among our kind. Names hold power. You never give your full, true name to Magic Touched that you don't trust. That was behind me now. No more magic, no more false names, and no more monsters.
Suddenly someone blocked the light. I waited a moment for the person to move, but they didn't. I looked up to find young man towering over me. His dark eyes burned into to me and I felt dwarfed in his shadow. I couldn't help noticing his Asian features and tan skin; Elkwood was a lot of things, but ethnically diverse was not one of them. I thought he was about my age, but I hadn't seen too many people my age with facial tattoos. The tribal ink under his left eye didn't look fresh either.
"Can I help you with something?" I asked finally.
He narrowed his eyes on me. "You a witch?"
I frowned. "Not everyone who wears a pentacle is a witch."
He crossed his muscular arms. "Is it you? Are you the skinwalker?"
My heart skipped a beat. Skinwalker was one of the older, less used terms for a Therianthrope. Therianthropy was a mostly dead magic used to transform human magic users into animals. There weren't many left at all. In fact the only one I knew of was my brother, Zack.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said as calmly as I could.
Suddenly he had me by the arm. "You're coming with me witch." He snapped.
"No!" I yelled grabbing my hot tea and slinging into his face. He released me with a roar of pain. I was up and running so fast I knocked my chair over. I ran for the street hoping to vanish into a crowd, but it was a Sunday morning. Half the shops were closed and there weren't any crowds to hide in. I raced east toward the police substation.
My boots clacked loudly on the stone road and I regretted my fashion choice. I couldn't even tell if he was still behind me. My legs were already aching, so I risked a glance only to see a hand reaching for me. He seized my shoulder and spun me around. I managed to keep my balance and pushed off of him. I raced for the Nic'Nack Shack. It was closed, but I managed to get the door open with a touch of magic. I whirled around to lock it, but my attacker slammed against it throwing me backward into the store. I landed against the toy rack toppling teddy bears and dolls onto my head.
"Enough running." He snarled stomping toward me. His face was red from rage and scalding tea.
He was right. Enough running.
I took hold of the rack and sent my power through it. I could feel it coursing like an electric current and into my targets.
He reached forward to grab me by the front of my shirt, but stopped short, his eyes flicking upward and widening. Toys rained down, latching on to him and knocking him backward. I scrambled away heading for the back exit. A doll sailed past my face. He was shredding through my army too fast.
I made it to the antique section before he knocked me off my feet. I tumbled in between two Chinese lion statues. I looked up to see him ripping a plush doll away from his face. He lunged for me as I took hold of the lion to my right. The statue sprang to life, its head turning to clamp its jaws on his arm. He screamed wrenching his arm back and smashing the lion into the floor. It crumbled away from him. He snatched me up, pulling me away from the other lion. His eyes had changed colors, they were yellow now.
"You don't need to be conscious." He snarled wrapping his freehand around my neck and squeezing.
"Hunter! Enough!" A female voice shouted.
Then just like that, he dropped me. I gasped holding my throat and scooting away as fast as I could. My back bumped into a leg. I whipped around to find another guy about my age. He wasn't as tall and had longish sandy blonde hair.
"Cripes, Hunter, you were supposed to invite her over- not assault her!" He leaned down offering me his hand. "Sorry Miss! Hunter has never had any manners."
He gave me a warm smile, but I wasn't ready to trust him. I eased myself up to my feet. He just shrugged it off. A girl approached then, she was a little taller than me and looked very much like the guy, she had most of her long hair in a ponytail.
"Are you alright?" She asked. "I am so sorry! This was not supposed to happen."
I was sore and I was scared, but I really didn't feel like sharing. I glanced over. My attacker, Hunter, was just standing there with his head lowered, but his eyes (once again dark) were on me as he gripped the wound on his arm.
"Who are you people?" I asked.
The girl laced her fingers. "I'm Zoe, ice mage, this is my brother Corrin."
"Mage, specializing in potions and illusions." He finished.
I took a deep breath. "And just what do you want with me?"
Corrin laughed. "You make us sound so sinister!"
"It's nothing like that." Zoe spoke up. "We just need to have a little talk with you."
I stepped back. "About what?"
Corrin's cheerful expression sobered. "We know what is killing people in town and we need your help stopping it."
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Comments: 11

awesomeyes [2011-12-22 02:36:52 +0000 UTC]

How old is she? A lot seems to have happened for her being so young. Character seems well developed and I do like where the story is going.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheSpokesman In reply to awesomeyes [2011-12-22 03:06:32 +0000 UTC]

She is sixteen going on seventeen, and yes even for a sorceress her life has been eventful! Thanks so much, hope you like the rest too.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Mousetrap2 [2011-02-22 22:50:38 +0000 UTC]

I really do like it.

You have written it very well. Wren is a good main character. I got from reading the kind of Character I expected him to be and his actions corresponded well with his voice.

I would definitely pick this book up and read it even though you hint to vampires coming up in the future.
I had some of a hard time figuring out if they were in a city or if they were in a magic school type situation.
The guy at the cafe confused me a bit as well in his entrance.
Maybe if he had been staring at him from across the room from the moment wren entered the cafe and then followed him out?

But in totality this was a great read and I highly enjoyed it.. I can't wait to see more.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheSpokesman In reply to Mousetrap2 [2011-02-23 03:07:45 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for taking the time to comment! I really appreciate it!
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. The second chapter is available (link above in the artist's comments)if you're interested.
Thanks again!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Mousetrap2 In reply to TheSpokesman [2011-02-23 05:08:56 +0000 UTC]

Alrighty I will check it out.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheMorbidHobbiest [2010-08-20 01:36:09 +0000 UTC]

Wrens not very likeable. She drinks tea, and doesn't like cars or tv, meh.
It doesn't seem bad so far. You are going for a "young adult" type story right? Its has that feel.
I think we need to see more to decide fully.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheSpokesman In reply to TheMorbidHobbiest [2010-08-20 02:59:20 +0000 UTC]

Well her growth as a person is half the journey!
Yeah, more young adult this time. So less vulgarity and violence...
You'll have to read it then haha!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

mochahazelnut [2010-08-19 04:44:20 +0000 UTC]

All in all I enjoyed this immensely. I only found a couple typos, but no biggie. I really enjoy the main character although I wish she were taller, too many short protagonists in my mind, but that's just me the tall person talking haha. One plot point and I don't know if you're leaving it out on purpose but you mention what happened to everyone after the move except for her mom. The only reference to her is the fact that their dad is constantly trolling around trying to replace her. Now I could have missed it and if I did, I apologize, but I thought I'd just point it out. Again, this was an extremely interesting first look and I am interested. When you mentioned Pyro getting killed by vampires at a party, I immediately thought of the mage party that you had in the Dani Black series. Unrelated? Also, I just have one request/suggestion. Could you possibly indent new paragraphs? The reason I ask is that it just makes it easier for me to read and understand because otherwise it's just giant blocks of text. Now if dA doesn't allow it, that's fine, but I just through I'd ask. thank you!

I probably should have written this as a legit critique. Oh well.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheSpokesman In reply to mochahazelnut [2010-08-19 15:46:09 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!
Haha to be honest she is my first short main- the others have been average to tall.I guess I'm in the middle 5'6".
Mom will actually be mentioned again pretty soon and yes there is a relation to the two attacks (same group of vampires, ect). I wanted a little tie in.
Actually, they are indented (just learned this myself) you have to click the second to last symbol at the top of the "page" you can also change the font and bg color. DA should totally have instructions or have formatting as a default! Haha anyway, I really don't care where the critique goes so long as it's there ^_^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Ratros [2010-08-19 03:18:36 +0000 UTC]

MC is is only some black eyeliner and fishnet stockings away from being emo. The character is almost a 180 from Dani, which I know you were scared of. Once again, you didn't proofread your work and I found several mistakes, but I shall be kind and forgive you for your follies. All and all, it was a pleasant read, though I can't say more than that, since it's like the first five pages of a book, and I'll need more than that to keep me interested. Though I won't mind reading more if you write it.

If you write it, they will come....and you will have to feed them...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheSpokesman In reply to Ratros [2010-08-19 15:47:54 +0000 UTC]

Like I said, teenager lol. I'm glad she came out like I'd hoped.
I went through it this morning and fixed it up some.
Don't worry there will be more!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0