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every day I fear that ill get that call shes passed away well i was asleep

my birthday is 5 months away, and ill, be turning 20, and to know that shes only expected to live 5 more years

i cant lose her so fucking soon, she has to live long enough to meet her great grand kid(s), for me to get married and grow old

with my only way to see her by getting two busses to the hospital, and at times being denied accesses to go she her in her room, it makes me so violently angry

my mental health has been slowly getting worse and worse, there are days where im on the verge of k*lling myself, that i have to call a friend just to walk me back down from the edge

shes dying, slowly, her livers giving up on her, shes in so much pain, and theres nothing i can do about it, and i cant stop thinking that maybe, just maybe if i pushed harder, she would have been seen sooner, and that id have more then just 5 years

the other day that i was there, i found out that they found a spot on her heart valve

im not ready to say goodbye to her

i cant lose her so soon

like theres already talk of where ill go when she does die

and i cant handle to thought of her not making it to see me move out on my own

im not ready to lose her, and it scares the fucking shit out of me

like i dont know if id be able to handle losing her so early

im not even 20 yet

and i keep thinking that im going to get that phone call one morning i wake up, thats she died when i was asleep

and for her sake, ive been trying to keep a straight face, and not break down in front of anyone

like im just learing how to cook for myself

theres so much going on in my head right now, but im so scared to reach out for help

it just feels like life is slipping through my fingers, and i cant seem to get a good grasp on reality before i crash and burn again

yes we have had a fights, and shes harmed me in many ways, but i cant lose her like this
---------------------------------
base by -
Jadezy28

Description
every day I fear that ill get that call shes passed away well i was asleep

my birthday is 5 months away, and ill, be turning 20, and to know that shes only expected to live 5 more years

i cant lose her so fucking soon, she has to live long enough to meet her great grand kid(s), for me to get married and grow old

with my only way to see her by getting two busses to the hospital, and at times being denied accesses to go she her in her room, it makes me so violently angry

my mental health has been slowly getting worse and worse, there are days where im on the verge of k*lling myself, that i have to call a friend just to walk me back down from the edge

shes dying, slowly, her livers giving up on her, shes in so much pain, and theres nothing i can do about it, and i cant stop thinking that maybe, just maybe if i pushed harder, she would have been seen sooner, and that id have more then just 5 years

the other day that i was there, i found out that they found a spot on her heart valve

im not ready to say goodbye to her

i cant lose her so soon

like theres already talk of where ill go when she does die

and i cant handle to thought of her not making it to see me move out on my own

im not ready to lose her, and it scares the fucking shit out of me

like i dont know if id be able to handle losing her so early

im not even 20 yet

and i keep thinking that im going to get that phone call one morning i wake up, thats she died when i was asleep

and for her sake, ive been trying to keep a straight face, and not break down in front of anyone

like im just learing how to cook for myself

theres so much going on in my head right now, but im so scared to reach out for help

it just feels like life is slipping through my fingers, and i cant seem to get a good grasp on reality before i crash and burn again

yes we have had a fights, and shes harmed me in many ways, but i cant lose her like this
---------------------------------
base by -
Jadezy28