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umkirstn
— Time to let go, not ready to f
Published:
2013-03-04 00:16:13 +0000 UTC
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Time to let go, not ready to forgive because it hurt too much.
But I want to let it go. Let God, let time, let karma, let conscience, let life see it and create and find the peace it needs.
Can't hold it on my shoulders any more. It's not ok, none of it is, but there are so many things in life that you can not control and the epiphanies that both of us need will come.
You have a lot of growing to do, I have a lot of life to live and miles and miles of pathways that I can follow, change course from and move forward. You do too. But I imagine you may move slower even if you think you're moving faster- you have too much weight holding down your legs, so much weight that has ripped off the wings I thought you had. You're human now. Untill you stop to reach down and untie the binds and bagage, ignoring them will not make them lighter, they'll stay put.
I dislike you for the course of events that went wrong. I love you deep down for all the things that you did right and despite what you may think I do aim to forgive you one day. I don't want to hold on to that mess. It makes me sad that we probably won't be friends. It makes me sad to think you can't see.
But I deserve to be free of this, whatever this is. I deserve to be happy and I deserve to be made a believer of that forever kind of love again. I have my words back. It's a start.
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