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Vocalkokoro β Unfortunate Male Stereotype
Published: 2013-06-05 19:34:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 3666; Favourites: 81; Downloads: 7
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Not all guys are perverts and cheaters and selfish exploiters. I can name quite a few people who are not like that, including myself. Actually as a matter of fact, I can name more guys who are not like that that I personally know than those that are. And those who used to be like that and are not anymore, I am proud of those people.Personally I am very concerned about the media nowadays. Media producers say that they are merely reflecting the behaviors of society. While actually, as time progresses, society is reenacting and reflecting the behaviors of the media. Not just adults and teenagers, but children get the idea locked in their heads from early ages that it's okay to exploit others, more than some people may realize. Once it is taught to them from an early age, it's hard to get that mentality fixed. (Difficult, not impossible.) In addition with the guys issue, there are a lot of nice ones out there, it's just that the perverts and cheaters tend to stand out more than the ones that are not like that, and from there the media's messages reinforce the stereotype that they must all be like that.
A few days ago I was sent an angry message by a person on YouTube saying that my Valentine's video was "gay" and such because in his/her confused mind, all guys want to do it get with women. That isn't true at all, that isn't the case for all of us, so you can't just sum it up like that. And then after explaining to him/her (most likely a "her".) that I am a guy and I wrote that script, then her response is to go again on calling it names like "gay" and "sh*t." Because apparently I do not fit her narrow-minded belief that all guys want to do is have sex all the time. Must've bothered her in the fact that Kaito walked Miku home and left at the end of the video rather than trying to have sex. That was my intent, I had that in mind to have those two extra images show that the video did not end with the two at his house at 8 in the evening.
It's very bothering and I worry about the direction the media is taking portrayals of people in the world. The sexism, the racism, everything. The reality of it is that we need to deal with this issue before it gets more out of hand than it already has. (And if you don't believe me that we have an problem, see this, then: [link] )
And that's why I made this. To make my own media contrary to common belief.
Troll me, hate me, I don't really care. Some guys are perverts, some guys are not. Just because the media depicts guys as being perverts doesn't mean the ones that aren't should keep quiet, which results in having them fall into the same category and reinforces the stereotype even more. Silence is like screaming the false perception.
And P.S: I'm not singling guys out alone, this goes for you too, ladies, treat your men right as well. Just as women are not objects of sex, men are not objects of service. Both genders need to give mutual respect, rather than waiting for one to change before the other changes itself.
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Comments: 69
Thank you very much for establishing this.
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*applauds* Yes. Thank you! QvQ (I'm crying insiiiiide waaaaaah. What is it with me.)
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I'm totally agree with you Kaito, and you Voca
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unfortunately for you Kaito everybody wants to be in the bed whit you XD do you think im lying?
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hahahaha XD you get the idea!
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You...You are just too awesome... I can't put how much I love this into words
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Wow i understand how it's seems like most guys are like that. The few that are good are often hard to find glad to hear there are some good guys out there. I am a woman myself but I'd rather treat some one with respect than be treated like how most guys are treating women. You made me feel better thank you. Respect should be mutual.
Sorry my comment got so long.
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I really appreciate you saying all this. Arigato Voca-sempai and Kaito-sempaiΒ Β Β Β
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I always thought guys were like that; but then I started to watch Voca;
and I thought he was a girl, (No offense) because he would always post really good posts; But thenΒ
when I discovered he was a guy, I started to have a different outlook on things. Thank you Voca,Β
because of you, I still think there's hope in society.Β
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I hate how society expects us to be like this, thats what created stereotypes in the first place. And not everything in the media these days all are true. People shouldnt judge just on the cover. Just live your own life, and block out negativity.Β
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Its guys like you, Voca, that give me faith in the male population. And Kaito too.Β
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Well the guys in my school are almost all perverts. I am um... a bit gifted in my chest I guess you could say. And almost every guy likes to make jokes about my chest. I avoid hugging them and being around them. But my boyfriend is different. He doesn't care if I'm flat everywhere or curvy. He likes me for who I am and I appreciate that. I just wish that society could go back to how it used to. I can't believe that it's gotten so bad to the point where I can't even listen to the radio. Instead I just listen to Vocaloid songs which have saved me from being those girls that dance and show off. There has to be better guys than what most are. Horrible perverts that only care about sex, butts, and chests.
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Agreed. Men aren't all perverts. But it's very rare to find a guy like Kaito... Huhu... And he's even my type too...
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I agree with Kaito completely.
Not sure Gakupo would though. He'd probably be all like
"Laaadiesss, line up for mah haaarem"
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all of my respect.
bro you have my respect
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Ommg i totally agree with you, i dont know why people are like that -_-, Kaito is a good example cause a lot people think of him as a giant pervert, i cannot see him like that O_o .. people are not sex objects, weither male or female no one has any right to treat a person like that or be treated like that, idky people assume that most men/women are crazy sex objects, like No. just NO. and to have a "relationship" with someone you want to treat them right, i've never been in a relationship before myself, but i would never treat a guy or anyone like that. you need to respect them and love them, not be a complete perverted ass hole -_- and i agree, media nowadays do to seem like it teaches kids that its okay to exploit others, the kids in my old school that i graduated from last year, the kids were crazy o.O ..and i think your a very nice guy vocalkokoro~ :3 one of the nicest i've ever talked to that's for sure xD
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You rock! Both you and Kaito!
You got right down to the point with this!
But seriously, I'm sick of the media portraying bad things on tv and whatnot to influence people about things.
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...Someone that called the video gay?
*Gets out Zangetsu sword I got from that convention*
Would you happen to know a way that I can find where he lives? I will search house to house around the whole country-the whole WORLD if I have to e.e
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Sounds better
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*grabs Gigameraito* here ^^
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Thanks ^^ *Fires it at the person that called the video gay*
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Gigamero- YAY~<3
i think he loves you :3 XD Have Fun~!
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OMG I SO agree with you! First time I actually heard a guy say that. Now you've made my day, Onii-chan. ^^ (For the longest time I thought I was a hopeless case thinking I was the only one who shared that belief.)
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Totally agree. It's kind of saddening that the perverts and cheaters are standing out more than the nice ones though, and for some reason, they attract a lot of girls to their side. =.=
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Well there are four possible reasons for that. (I'm into researching psychology and sociology, so I have a lot of information on this sort of thing.)
1. The ones that are not as sexually involved are usually not as "bold" or "out-going" as the ones that are sexually involved when it comes to talking to women. Or at least, that's the impression that people have on such people. It's less common to come across non-sexual men because they simply don't stand out as much as the ones that are sexually involved. And because of that, it is assumed that they just don't exist and/or are less common. They may be less common, they may be equal, there's no way to really prove that. And in some situations, it may not even be about who stands out and who doesn't at all. Here's another thing; Since you are influenced by the media (as am I, so I'm not trying to say YOU as if there's something wrong with you. I'm using the word "you" in plural tense.), your brain is actually subconsciously looking for the perverts and cheaters. You may not know whether that specific person is a pervert or cheater, but you still picked up on certain behaviors and traits of a pervert or cheater, and whether consciously or subconsciously, and intentionally or unintentionally, you're looking for it. (And also, 10% of your brain is conscious, and 90% of your brain is subconscious. So for example, when you see a guy who has a girlfriend, but is talking and laughing with another girl, and his girlfriend is not there with them, what's the first thing that pops in your head? Would you think he's cheating or just talking to a friend? Part of what your first thought would be is caused by your subconscious thoughts coming into your conscious thinking.)
2. Girls' side of the media and sex. There's always two sides of a coin, right? Actually, guys are not the only ones with the sexual influence. As a matter of fact, one of the main messages given to women through the media is that they are mainly (or sometimes even only) valued for their physical appearance and sexual appeal. (Hence why you sometimes see girls walking around barely wearing anything. I mean, really, homecoming was a mess back at my sophomore year. I couldn't even call that a skirt, it was so short.) As well as the pressure in general of trying to keep up with the latest fashion and makeup of the girls around them. Now I'm not saying this is the case for all of them, and there are some and many girls that are moderate with trying to look pretty and such, or paying attention to their weight, there's nothing wrong with that. But I am saying that there are some women out there that are actually obsessed with their appearance. That if they don't have the right clothes and makeup, then their whole day is ruined, as said by some women in surveys that I've read. Some even get depressed if they don't look like a supermodel for special events. But my point is this; messages sent by the media says that girls are valued mostly or only by how appealing they are physically or sexually. So with this, it's possible for them to be looking for someone who is like them, which also includes being sexual.
But - before I drop this, I'm just going to be clear - it is NOT true that women are only valued and loved for their physical appearance and sexual appeal. There's more than one or two types of beautiful. I mean really, I'd very much rather be with a girl who may think she isn't beautiful and thinks twice about her own attractiveness, but is still very kind and sweet and wonderful - than deal with some chick who is flaming hot, but is a spoiled crummy old selfish brat.
3. Social stigma towards virgin men. This stigma is part of the reason non-sexual men are quieter and stand out less. It's very easy to get made fun of for being a virgin, and sometimes even worse if you WANT to stay a virgin until a later point. Some people even call it the "virgin curse." The pressures that guys give each other about getting laid drives some men into doing it just so they can be socially acceptable by their friends or by society in general. For whatever reason, there is a stigma with the assumption that if you are a guy and not having sex yet, then you must not really be a man because you haven't gotten laid yet. (Which is a common cause of exploitation, using someone to fill their own personal needs, while ignoring someone else's.) Ever notice how some guys tend to go on and on about whether they did it with some girl the night before? Do you really want to be the only one without a story of your own when everyone talks about it? It's easy to get made fun of during and after a situation like that. Another social stigma is the idea that if you haven't gotten with a girl yet, then you must be gay. (I used to get called gay at one of my previous schools over the simple fact that I'm nice to people. It was untrue and very annoying. Apparently aggression and anger are considered masculine emotions, so those are some of the very few emotions that society allows men to have. So being kind and caring is considered feminine to some people, which is another reason why some men are unattached, but that's another topic. I personally believe that all emotions are unisex. [This is because most men are raised believing that their emotions are wrong and need to suppress them, which can tear them up inside eventually. Which is a pretty big reason why the suicide rates in men are higher than in women.]) Which is a very unreasonable thing to say and to sum up, but it's done all the time. So overall, to avoid unnecessary ridicule, guys have sex with girls. And then there's the old false saying "everybody's doing it", which causing even more pressure to the person trying to abstain.
4. Media gives the idea that all men are sexual like that, so some girls don't even know that guys that aren't perverts and cheaters even exist.
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Oh, just another thing, don't think it's quite relevant though, some dismissed the reality of true love, meaning unconditional love, deeming it a relic of the past =.= anything on this topic?
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I could pretty much write you a book on that if I wanted to. Is there anything in this topic that you have in mind or would you rather me explain in general?
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Nothing specific, just explain in general for now, as I'm not an expert in this subject.
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Okay. But I'm actually a little tired at the moment. It's 6 in the morning and I've been working on projects all night and haven't slept at all. x.x So I'll explain in more detail with things later. But I will explain this now before I go, though.
Here's something that I know of that fits the subject of sex and love. In your body there is a type of hormone called Oxytocin. This hormone is only ever released when you have sex with someone for the first time. This hormone makes it so you can become attached and in love with the person you did it with. It's nicknamed "Emotional Superglue" because that's exactly what it is. This hormone makes you feel attached to the person you first had sex with in extreme and incredible ways. It's hard to even stop talking about it, it's a strong and powerful feeling. (I'm talking about oxytocin, not the sex. XD) This hormone exists in both men and women. It used to be thought that it only existed in women to a degree, but that was back in the 90's or so. Now we know that both men and women have this hormone. (It's just that women produce more of it than men do. This is to have enough of it to be able to have it for both the man, and for the child, should the woman have a child. [The woman releases oxytocin for the child after the first breastfeeding.])
It's a wonderful thing, and it brings families together. But there's the problem with that, though. Here's what makes love become a "relic of the past." When you start having sex with someone, oxytocin is released. So you are deeply attached to that person, but what if you break up? You weren't married yet, so it's more possible than without marriage. It'll be pretty hard for you to get your mind off your ex. Think of it this way; duck tape has a pretty strong stick, doesn't it? (What I'm about to say also includes the concerns of STDs. In case people don't know, even though people think the biggest concerns of having sex is getting pregnant, STDs are WAY more common than getting pregnant. And whether it's STDs or pregnancy, condoms and birth control won't save you. Every condom brand, birth control pill, or whatever else, has a failure rate. The only method of not getting an STD or getting pregnant is abstinence, but apparently, that's the thing everybody makes fun of, ironically enough. Alright so back to the duck tape thing.) duck tape is very strong with its stick. Imagine putting some around your arm, then ripping it off. Nevermind the fact that it hurts like crap, here's what I'm talking about; there's the person's DNA from their skin on that tape. Even if you break up with that person you were with, you're still attached to them because a part of them is still with you. Then you go to the next guy/girl. Do it with them. That's the same as putting the tape on your arm. Breaking up with them is the same as ripping the tape off again. But you've already done it once, the tape is less sticky this time. Do it again with someone else, less sticky. Do it again with another person, less stick. Then again and again and again some more with different people, and now you don't even care who you do it with, because you can't get attached to anyone anymore via oxytocin. So you won't be able to love people in that particular way anymore. Oxytocin is at its strongest at the first time, and it slowly fades away with each changing person. Same thing with STDs, too. Doing it with them makes you carry their stuff (I'll just call it "stuff".) with you for the rest of your life, so actually, as creepy as it is to realize it, if you have sex with a person who's already done it with somebody else, you're basically having sex with the other person they did before they got to you. In other words, if you're with a guy/girl that's had sex with 5 people before you, you're basically having sex with 6 people at the same time, because their stuff is still with him/her. That's how STDs are formed and transmitted, it's effortless. Nasty, but it's the truth.
This is pretty much the reason I, a Christian, am instructed to wait until marriage before having sex. And shoot, how I WANT to wait until marriage before it. And also that my wife would be a virgin as well. That way there would be an emotional bond via oxytocin, and it is done in the way it's supposed to be. Plus your life wouldn't be completely and totally ruined by a potential STD or breaking up with somebody you really liked and yet are still constantly thinking of that person whether you're in a new relationship or not. It depends on the person, but even after breaking up, you could end up longing for them, feeling passion for them. (I said could, not would.) To some people, even if they were physically or emotionally abused by someone, they'd still stay with them because of it. Oxytocin is THAT effective and is very difficult to get over. Also, if you have sex with someone and then enter a new relationship, you're putting your girl/guy at risk, marriage or not, due to the potential STD. And you won't even know you have the STD, because some don't show any symptoms until later.
So anyway, one of the reasons love is thought of as a "relic of the past" is because for one, sex and love are confused for being the same thing, when they're really not. Love is to look out for the needs of the other person. And if they love you back, then they are to look out for your needs as well. That's what mutual love means. To take care of each other. And two, if you go around having sex or you do it with someone you might not be spending the rest of your life with, the emotional suffering after separating is tremendous. And suicides of some people are no surprise. Some people are even afraid of talking about love because they've been hurt so horribly by it. But the reason for that (not saying it's their fault, I'm not naming particular situations, so I could be totally wrong, depending on the person in which it may or may not apply to.) is because it wasn't handled the way it was meant to. (Aaaaaand that's why I plan on waiting until I'm married before I do anything like that.)
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Your thoughts are the same as mine, though they say 'lust' when talking about love and sex. For the sex after marriage thing, that is what I WANT as well as I'm not the kind who goes and confuse lust and love. Though seeing some of the other people, many are confused about which is which. Though I haven't heard any of my friends ever doing it before, though I do wonder about some other people (I'm using my friends as an example because of the age, 16, as some that I've heard in other countries, that they did in that age, don't know if that's the truth or just some fad).
This is the first time I've heard of Oxytocin.
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I see. Oxytocin is very important for building families and relationships. Families and relationships can develop without it, but Oxytocin is very helpful. And I didn't mean to sound like I was thinking in "lust". I have a lot of information on this subject, so that was just one of the layers. When it comes to explaining the definition of love and talking about love in general, I can do that in a different manner aside from lust.
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That's quite a lot of info you have there.
Side note: This is by far the longest comment and recomment I've seen, word-wise
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That's a hella long essay there. Yet all so very true.
1. Might be because that those that approach girls more likes to talk about sex and what not when with boys. I'm still in sophomore year, haven't heard about anyone among my friends doing it yet. When they talk to other girls, I feel that they are just talking to a friend, but here's the thing, they are not bold enough to talk to their crush, and only one has a girlfriend and I doubt that the one that has one is true to his feelings as he's quite a playboy (at least 3 girlfriends before the current one), not to mention that he keeps tons of things he do away from his girlfriend -.-, slightly gay as he seems to be interested in males as well, though it might just be sexual harassment for fun. I'm still single right now, so yeah, no crush or whatsoever as well. Most I know are however, just rather normal albeit being slightly perverted which is rather natural, nothing extreme.
2. I RARELY talk to girls, only when there's something requiring me to talk to them, I usually just keep quiet, though part of it is my problem of rarely talking to anyone I don't know as I deem it unnecessary or sometimes my unboldness to talk to girls as I have no topic, usually. Most here tends to wear shorts on outings, rarely skirts. School girls wear pinafores (ugly =.
3. I'm not all about sex and stuff, and being in an Islamic country, the news are censored like hell. Even kissing scenes are deleted. So the social media that would have those would only be the internet. Emotions are unisex yes, but not all actions are, because they just don't fit, personal experience of having a classmate that is a boy and acting more girlish than the girls. It's just eerie, enough said.
4. Media's a big problem.
I kind of typed whatever I thought there. Some I think I typed not conscious of it. And I'm kind of out of words here (=.
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Sorry, I write books as a personal hobby, so I tend to type a lot when I have a lot of information on something. XD
1. I know what you're saying. But this particular subject just isn't talked about publicly in general, so it's not easy to come across it.
2. Yeah. I don't really talk to people I don't know very well unless they're dealing with something I might be able to help them with. Other than that, I don't really talk to anyone I don't know either.
3. I said emotions are unisex, I didn't say a word about actions. XD Crying is unisex, cross-dressing, nnnnot so much. XD (But there's no connection between those two things, that's just what I said.)
4. I just wish they'd tone it down a little. I'm really not interested in watching videos on YouTube regularly and then randomly seeing some naked chick in an advertisement. I don't want to have to raise my kids in an environment surrounded by things like that when I get older.
It's fine if you're out of words. o.o
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1. Quite rare as it was only 1 up till now.
2. I'm quiet in class as well. Other than chatting with friends I rarely talk, and I'm kinda known for being quiet =o= .Another reason I rarely speak is because I can't speak clearly most of the time, not because my words are unclear but rather my sound is just not loud enough, making me hate to talk in public like presentation in classes or answering questions.
3. I never said you said anything about actions. Rather, it just came to my mind because some of your actions are a result of your emotion, and how you express it is one of those actions
4. I use iPad to watch YouTube, not much ads except very rarely some video ads.
I kind of looked forward to long paragraphs, as they are quite an interesting read once in a while.
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Haha. Wow. XD
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