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Description
Cold
(Bully!Arthur X Bullied!Depressed! Reader
A Hetalia Fanfiction
Story By: WhiteSpiritPearl

Chapter 7
“Within My Heart Without Yours”

Arthur’s P.O.V.

Help! We need a doctor!

As if on cue, the nurses and the doctor himself rushed to (y/n)’s side. “Lad! Clear out the room! Move it!” He told me. My mother and father rushed in as well and grabbed me to give the doctor and the nurses some space to assess what is happening to her.

What is happening!? She’s not going to die is she!? No! That can’t happen! Please! Please! Please! God! Please help her! Oh please help her! I beg you! Please! Please! Do not let my mistake… don’t let it kill her!

I couldn’t live with that guilt. I just couldn’t live with it. No human being could.

I was sweating, my heart was pounding. I collapsed to my knee. I could have ran to her instead. But my feet could not take me there to her. Instead I stayed and watched. The same thing I’ve always done for her.

How weak…

How weak I am… I couldn’t do anything again. Just watch.

My parents came in just a few seconds after the doctor, and brought me outside of her room. I lost my balance and leaned myself on the wall. I grabbed my heart and breathed as if I sprinted a mile without stopping.

“Arthur! What’s wrong!? What happened!?” My mother held my shoulders, while my father tried to help me up. “Arthur! Get a hold of yourself!” I looked straight into my father’s eyes. “(Y/n)… She’s…she’s-”

“Out of the way!” Some nurses came by with a tray of various fluids. One of them glared at me as she passed. Her face is familiar. …She is… that assistant I met earlier.

I couldn’t focus… My sight is blurring.

We stood by there, just waiting for everything to be over. I had no words to say. I just found myself lost with everything around me. Time meant nothing, my parents’ concern and worries were unheard.

I waited. Waited for the end. But I don’t want to be waiting for the worst. My head throbbed with even greater pain than ever. I felt weak. So weak. I couldn’t do anything anymore. It’s all up to how strong she is. But the chances are slim. I know it.

I heard another set of steps coming out of the room. Behind me. The footsteps that of a nurse’s. My back turned. I stiffed. And I braced myself for the “I’m sorry.” I braced myself for the worst.

But…

“…Mr. and Mrs. Kirkland. It’s going to be fine. Her windpipe airways were dry, which caused some slight gagging. We gave her some fluids to rehydrate her. She’ll be fine for now.”

“Ah Good. We were very worried for the girl. Especially my son here.” Father said.

He put his hand on my shoulder. And patted me slightly.

“May we go back to her?” I asked softly.

“Once we are done checking her condition, you’ll be able to do so. But, we cannot rush something like this, so the best time to come back would be in an hour. Good day you.” The nurse left, and we soon left right after.

There was a long silence. Until my father spoke. And he told me:

“Son, let’s take a walk.” He faced his back to me. And walked towards the exit. I followed after him. I know he has something important to say. But, I do not find any importance in consoling me. Not in the future. And certainly not now. Unforgivable.

Before I left, I turned to my mother. And I asked of her: “Mother, can you please watch over her while we’re gone?” And she nodded. “Alright dear. I’ll be in waiting room during her checkup.”

I didn’t say any more. Father and I made our way to the hospital’s botanical garden. Though not far away, it felt distant. I felt distant.

There were many flower patches, green, red, and golden bushes, a fountain, and many, many butterflies. One would think that this garden was enchanted. It was such a beautiful sight. It is such a shame that the reason to be here is so solemn.

Across the corner of my eye, there was a bench. No one was here. With a thoughtful look, my father spoke. “Come, Arthur, sit here with me.”

Your P.O.V.

It was dark again.

Empty.

Alone.

Cold.

Nobody’s here. Nobody there to hug me. To keep me warm. To keep me safe. To love me.

Nobody’s here to do that.

Why? I asked myself. Why is it that I always end up alone? It’s just not fair… I hate it. I hate it all…

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it! I hate it!! I HATE IT!!!

Suddenly. There was a feeling of emptiness below my feet. Before I realized it, I was falling. Falling to no end. Falling. Falling. Falling.

I closed my eyes. And waited once more.

But this time. I didn’t wait for something. I didn’t know what to wait for. Why should I wait for something? I… don’t mind falling. This is fine. Because it only hurts if I hit the ground. There is no ground. It cannot hurt. But then again… nothing really hurts as much as the things that’s happened to me. “It’s endless.” I told myself.

So I slept…

This way, there would be no pain. This way… there would be no one to look for.

And you know what?

That’s fine with me… I don’t need anyone who doesn’t love me… I’m fine with staying here. Forever.

Arthur’s P.O.V.

I sat on a bench with my father. But we did not look eye to eye. We sat for minute. Neither of us saying a word to each other. I am at a loss right now. There’s too much to take in. But I cannot say. I cannot say anything. And I’m scared. I’m so confused. What do I say? I put my chin upon the back of my folded hands. My posture is definitely unbalanced. Nothing is balanced.

“Son.” My father broke the silence once more.

“What does she mean to you?” He asked.

I paused. I never really thought about it. My mistake was all I could think about. But I didn’t think of her in the slightest. Or at least, not entirely.

“She is a student. Just like the rest of us. She is… a young girl that deserved better.” I hung my head low as I heard my father clear his throat. “That is true. However, there is more to that… is there not?

I was so scared. What do I tell him now? I wanted to lie, but-

“…T-There is n-“ I stuttered.

“Oh, there you are!”

I could not…

In the distance, I heard a voice.

A voice I know too well. A comforting, gentle voice. My mother.

“Mother! W-What are you doing here?” I asked of her.

She was out of breath, it seems as though she went looking for us everywhere. There were tears in her eyes.

It cannot be…

“Mother! What is wrong? Did something happen to (y/n)!?”

“Yes! Something has happened!” I couldn’t tell whether the news were good or bad.

Then, I saw tears gleaming in her eyes.

My racing heart never ceases, but now, it’s as if it stopped.

“She is-“

-Meanwhile in the Patient’s Room-

Your P.O.V.

Light burns when it’s sudden. When you’ve been in darkness for so long the light hurts… Even when it’s slow. My eyes opened to that such. And it hurt. Everything hurts. Everything. Then, I heard 4 words:

“She is awake Doctor Austen.”

I didn’t look. I didn’t need to look. I could hear enough.

Awake? Am I really? I don’t know.

“I can see that. Don’t just stand there! Get me a new IV! Stat! You! Bring me some new towels!” A strong voice resonated in my ears. From what I could vaguely tell, I’m in a hospital. I heard doctor. So, where else could I be?

I laid there. I wanted to move but I could not.

I wanted to speak…

But no words came out.

And I don’t know why…

Description
Cold
(Bully!Arthur X Bullied!Depressed! Reader
A Hetalia Fanfiction
Story By: WhiteSpiritPearl

Chapter 7
“Within My Heart Without Yours”

Arthur’s P.O.V.

Help! We need a doctor!

As if on cue, the nurses and the doctor himself rushed to (y/n)’s side. “Lad! Clear out the room! Move it!” He told me. My mother and father rushed in as well and grabbed me to give the doctor and the nurses some space to assess what is happening to her.

What is happening!? She’s not going to die is she!? No! That can’t happen! Please! Please! Please! God! Please help her! Oh please help her! I beg you! Please! Please! Do not let my mistake… don’t let it kill her!

I couldn’t live with that guilt. I just couldn’t live with it. No human being could.

I was sweating, my heart was pounding. I collapsed to my knee. I could have ran to her instead. But my feet could not take me there to her. Instead I stayed and watched. The same thing I’ve always done for her.

How weak…

How weak I am… I couldn’t do anything again. Just watch.

My parents came in just a few seconds after the doctor, and brought me outside of her room. I lost my balance and leaned myself on the wall. I grabbed my heart and breathed as if I sprinted a mile without stopping.

“Arthur! What’s wrong!? What happened!?” My mother held my shoulders, while my father tried to help me up. “Arthur! Get a hold of yourself!” I looked straight into my father’s eyes. “(Y/n)… She’s…she’s-”

“Out of the way!” Some nurses came by with a tray of various fluids. One of them glared at me as she passed. Her face is familiar. …She is… that assistant I met earlier.

I couldn’t focus… My sight is blurring.

We stood by there, just waiting for everything to be over. I had no words to say. I just found myself lost with everything around me. Time meant nothing, my parents’ concern and worries were unheard.

I waited. Waited for the end. But I don’t want to be waiting for the worst. My head throbbed with even greater pain than ever. I felt weak. So weak. I couldn’t do anything anymore. It’s all up to how strong she is. But the chances are slim. I know it.

I heard another set of steps coming out of the room. Behind me. The footsteps that of a nurse’s. My back turned. I stiffed. And I braced myself for the “I’m sorry.” I braced myself for the worst.

But…

“…Mr. and Mrs. Kirkland. It’s going to be fine. Her windpipe airways were dry, which caused some slight gagging. We gave her some fluids to rehydrate her. She’ll be fine for now.”

“Ah Good. We were very worried for the girl. Especially my son here.” Father said.

He put his hand on my shoulder. And patted me slightly.

“May we go back to her?” I asked softly.

“Once we are done checking her condition, you’ll be able to do so. But, we cannot rush something like this, so the best time to come back would be in an hour. Good day you.” The nurse left, and we soon left right after.

There was a long silence. Until my father spoke. And he told me:

“Son, let’s take a walk.” He faced his back to me. And walked towards the exit. I followed after him. I know he has something important to say. But, I do not find any importance in consoling me. Not in the future. And certainly not now. Unforgivable.

Before I left, I turned to my mother. And I asked of her: “Mother, can you please watch over her while we’re gone?” And she nodded. “Alright dear. I’ll be in waiting room during her checkup.”

I didn’t say any more. Father and I made our way to the hospital’s botanical garden. Though not far away, it felt distant. I felt distant.

There were many flower patches, green, red, and golden bushes, a fountain, and many, many butterflies. One would think that this garden was enchanted. It was such a beautiful sight. It is such a shame that the reason to be here is so solemn.

Across the corner of my eye, there was a bench. No one was here. With a thoughtful look, my father spoke. “Come, Arthur, sit here with me.”

Your P.O.V.

It was dark again.

Empty.

Alone.

Cold.

Nobody’s here. Nobody there to hug me. To keep me warm. To keep me safe. To love me.

Nobody’s here to do that.

Why? I asked myself. Why is it that I always end up alone? It’s just not fair… I hate it. I hate it all…

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it! I hate it!! I HATE IT!!!

Suddenly. There was a feeling of emptiness below my feet. Before I realized it, I was falling. Falling to no end. Falling. Falling. Falling.

I closed my eyes. And waited once more.

But this time. I didn’t wait for something. I didn’t know what to wait for. Why should I wait for something? I… don’t mind falling. This is fine. Because it only hurts if I hit the ground. There is no ground. It cannot hurt. But then again… nothing really hurts as much as the things that’s happened to me. “It’s endless.” I told myself.

So I slept…

This way, there would be no pain. This way… there would be no one to look for.

And you know what?

That’s fine with me… I don’t need anyone who doesn’t love me… I’m fine with staying here. Forever.

Arthur’s P.O.V.

I sat on a bench with my father. But we did not look eye to eye. We sat for minute. Neither of us saying a word to each other. I am at a loss right now. There’s too much to take in. But I cannot say. I cannot say anything. And I’m scared. I’m so confused. What do I say? I put my chin upon the back of my folded hands. My posture is definitely unbalanced. Nothing is balanced.

“Son.” My father broke the silence once more.

“What does she mean to you?” He asked.

I paused. I never really thought about it. My mistake was all I could think about. But I didn’t think of her in the slightest. Or at least, not entirely.

“She is a student. Just like the rest of us. She is… a young girl that deserved better.” I hung my head low as I heard my father clear his throat. “That is true. However, there is more to that… is there not?

I was so scared. What do I tell him now? I wanted to lie, but-

“…T-There is n-“ I stuttered.

“Oh, there you are!”

I could not…

In the distance, I heard a voice.

A voice I know too well. A comforting, gentle voice. My mother.

“Mother! W-What are you doing here?” I asked of her.

She was out of breath, it seems as though she went looking for us everywhere. There were tears in her eyes.

It cannot be…

“Mother! What is wrong? Did something happen to (y/n)!?”

“Yes! Something has happened!” I couldn’t tell whether the news were good or bad.

Then, I saw tears gleaming in her eyes.

My racing heart never ceases, but now, it’s as if it stopped.

“She is-“

-Meanwhile in the Patient’s Room-

Your P.O.V.

Light burns when it’s sudden. When you’ve been in darkness for so long the light hurts… Even when it’s slow. My eyes opened to that such. And it hurt. Everything hurts. Everything. Then, I heard 4 words:

“She is awake Doctor Austen.”

I didn’t look. I didn’t need to look. I could hear enough.

Awake? Am I really? I don’t know.

“I can see that. Don’t just stand there! Get me a new IV! Stat! You! Bring me some new towels!” A strong voice resonated in my ears. From what I could vaguely tell, I’m in a hospital. I heard doctor. So, where else could I be?

I laid there. I wanted to move but I could not.

I wanted to speak…

But no words came out.

And I don’t know why…