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Description
Control,
The thing I seem to lack.
Control of my own life,
My own time,
My own decisions.
Instead, I continue to allow others to have the decisions,
Of what I do,
Where I go,
Everything I am, and trying to be.

I am bounced between activities
And people, unknowing where to go or how to be alone,
How to say no.

Not wanting to disappoint,
To be a bore,
To be forgotten.
Yet slowly losing everything that I am.
Every interest and hobby has become lost to me.
Talents I used to possess,
How to exist and be okay.

I have no control of me,
Lacking feelings and thoughts,
As though I am nothing but a puppet existing for others entertainment.
A shadow of my true self is left to be of use to those around me.
I am tired of being me and not being me,
Of not knowing the real me anymore.

Yet I lack the ability and motivation to
Take back control of me,
Of my life.
Seeming to forever remain motionless,
Unless it is for the use of someone
Who isn’t me.

Description
Control,
The thing I seem to lack.
Control of my own life,
My own time,
My own decisions.
Instead, I continue to allow others to have the decisions,
Of what I do,
Where I go,
Everything I am, and trying to be.

I am bounced between activities
And people, unknowing where to go or how to be alone,
How to say no.

Not wanting to disappoint,
To be a bore,
To be forgotten.
Yet slowly losing everything that I am.
Every interest and hobby has become lost to me.
Talents I used to possess,
How to exist and be okay.

I have no control of me,
Lacking feelings and thoughts,
As though I am nothing but a puppet existing for others entertainment.
A shadow of my true self is left to be of use to those around me.
I am tired of being me and not being me,
Of not knowing the real me anymore.

Yet I lack the ability and motivation to
Take back control of me,
Of my life.
Seeming to forever remain motionless,
Unless it is for the use of someone
Who isn’t me.