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Description
I’m having a sad day,
And these days grow closer together,
And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore.
Every breath I take is a chore I’m not used to doing,
It’s hard and it hurts and my lungs feel like they’ve forgotten how to work properly.
I’ve forgotten how to function like a normal human being.
I’m sad and I don’t know how to be not sad.

I’ve cried enough tears to create my own ocean,
I’m caught between crying till I can’t feel my body anymore
And not being able to cry because I’m even too sad to do that.

I’m confused and lost,
I don’t know what direction to take anymore.
I just want to be happy but I don’t know how to be happy.

I feel as though I have no reason to be alive anymore,
What am I alive for?
Because I seem to be spending each day growing more sad by the second,
And I’m afraid of what’s coming.
Cause I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to stop once I’ve started.

I just want to stop.
Freeze time and contemplate life till I can finally feel okay again,
I’m not okay and I wish I was.
But how am I supposed to be okay again?

Friends?
Therapy?
Medication?
Solitude?

My options feel limited,
I’m not the kind of person that can do those things,
Therapy and medication seem like some dream or sometimes even a nightmare.
Something I’m too afraid to ask for,
Too afraid to try.

Friends?
I tell them how I feel and they think they understand.
But I don’t think they do,
Sometimes I don’t even have a reason for being sad,
I’m just sad.
I spend time with them and paint a smile on my face,
Laugh at the shared jokes and make memories.
All the while I’m thinking about how I just want to go home and end it all.
I just want to stop being me.

Solitude.
Everytime I’m alone the feelings and thoughts are worse,
Because to me it’s okay to cry by myself but it isn’t okay to cry with someone else.
But when I’m alone my friends want to hang out,
They don’t want me being sad by myself.
They don’t want me being by myself.

I don’t blame them,
I don’t trust me with me either.

I’m just sad,
And I wish I wasn’t.
But I don’t know how to not be,
Me.

Description
I’m having a sad day,
And these days grow closer together,
And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore.
Every breath I take is a chore I’m not used to doing,
It’s hard and it hurts and my lungs feel like they’ve forgotten how to work properly.
I’ve forgotten how to function like a normal human being.
I’m sad and I don’t know how to be not sad.

I’ve cried enough tears to create my own ocean,
I’m caught between crying till I can’t feel my body anymore
And not being able to cry because I’m even too sad to do that.

I’m confused and lost,
I don’t know what direction to take anymore.
I just want to be happy but I don’t know how to be happy.

I feel as though I have no reason to be alive anymore,
What am I alive for?
Because I seem to be spending each day growing more sad by the second,
And I’m afraid of what’s coming.
Cause I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to stop once I’ve started.

I just want to stop.
Freeze time and contemplate life till I can finally feel okay again,
I’m not okay and I wish I was.
But how am I supposed to be okay again?

Friends?
Therapy?
Medication?
Solitude?

My options feel limited,
I’m not the kind of person that can do those things,
Therapy and medication seem like some dream or sometimes even a nightmare.
Something I’m too afraid to ask for,
Too afraid to try.

Friends?
I tell them how I feel and they think they understand.
But I don’t think they do,
Sometimes I don’t even have a reason for being sad,
I’m just sad.
I spend time with them and paint a smile on my face,
Laugh at the shared jokes and make memories.
All the while I’m thinking about how I just want to go home and end it all.
I just want to stop being me.

Solitude.
Everytime I’m alone the feelings and thoughts are worse,
Because to me it’s okay to cry by myself but it isn’t okay to cry with someone else.
But when I’m alone my friends want to hang out,
They don’t want me being sad by myself.
They don’t want me being by myself.

I don’t blame them,
I don’t trust me with me either.

I’m just sad,
And I wish I wasn’t.
But I don’t know how to not be,
Me.