melladh [2004-07-29 09:56:56 +0000 UTC]
Great descriptions. You REALLY need to work a bit on line-breaks though. I saw tons of linebreaks being neglected in that text, and it would need it to be more accessible for the eye.
The text, though, the words and the flowing and everything is great. But the last line should be "no, there was no hope", because the "yes" is a (whatever word you use to describe some sort of opposits). The last line cuts the flow, otherwise it's really good. And linebreaks!
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