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xethos — breath LIFE
Published: 2006-02-23 05:01:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 549; Favourites: 14; Downloads: 29
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Description
This is my voice, my words.I want this to burn, to watch it die.
Then start again and grow.
Let's breath.
In. And only, in.
Okay. Now out.
Did you feel that?
Was it pleasent?
Did it make you work?
Try it again. Breath. Think.
Feel.
It's life.
The last time we met, we lived.
Now let us
die.
Did you? I don't believe you.
Would you drown?
Would you breed cancer?
However you leave me, were you happy?
Did you regret?
Wish you were a better child?
a better friend?
a better parent?
Well don't. It's about you.
Not them. Let go.
Let's move on.
You and only you. No regrets.
Hello there, rebirth at it's best.
I doubt you feel,
alive.
You just began,
Prove it. Prove me wrong.
Do something. Make something.
Show the world, I can live.
I can die.
Come back again.
And still I think,
still i feel.
Now darling, you're alive.
You're a mind.
Related content
Comments: 61
I highly appreciate the honesty.
I'm glad you like the first verse, it's like my favorite part.
Even I still have to read a few times to get it.
Thanks again!
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Damn. I'm stunned speechless!!!! You have so many talents and gifts!!!!! Don't EVER let them go to waste!!!!! Use them.....share them with the world!!!!! You're amazing!!!! You amaze me!!!! Keep it up!!!! *BIG hugs*
"When I said that I loved you I meant..."
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Wow, that was cool. It made me think, made my throat get all tight, and icky too, made me question myself. It's a very introspective piece. I liked it.
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hmmm....sounds very depressing to me. every kinda feels like that one point in their life.
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I love how you used indentation and made the lines all look choppy, like the randomness of life or something. The imagery is great, I love your word choice here, it gives the impression of being reborn.
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I really like the way this is worded and how you used the words in different patterns, that is an artwork in itself <3
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VRY DEEP.
IT FEELS SUPERNATURAL. THE TALK OF DEATH/REBIRTH STICK WITH ME.
GOOD STUFF.
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It is a bit hard for me, had to read it several times and not sure I grasp it, second language and all that - but what I can think of is reincarnation and the theory that we reincarnate with the same people over and over again until we have learned some lesson or another. And that this is a mother who have come to the understanding that her expected child is a former lover or perhaps parent who hurt her confidence in an earlier life.
Now I might be completely wrong about that and if so I apologize.
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I really enjoyed all the words that you used. It's very deep and it really makes you think, which I think is always a good thing. I really like how it's formatted as well.
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I really like this, it's very well written and it's the sort of poem that it makes you think, it's not just totally straight forward and I like that.
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This is very well written and interesting... great job
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Very nicely done - I very much like the use of structure. It's visually appealing and compelling, and makes me wonder. Did you use it to show progression? Or simply for emphasis? In which case, I find it interesting how at different points, you've emphasized both life and death. There is a nice balance about this composition - negative, and positive; death, and life. Lovely and emotive... Keep it up
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I would at first seem like a every day poem, but the more I read it the deeper it gets
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I really don't know what to think of this one. There are a lot of seemingly desprate elements in this poem that it's a wonder that you managed to make them all seem like they belong. I had a very choppy feel to it, usually that's a bad thing but I think it's one of the things that make this poem special and unique. Although one of the things that I didn't really like was the spacing. There was no real pattern to it and I didn't like having to shift my attention. It might work for it, but you might want to play around with this a little bit.
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spelling error: "breath" is the noun....."breathe" is the action. At least in my little world..... So I misread that.
It's very calming and shocking/accusatory all at once.
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Indeed, that's life! 
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To me it sounds like you want to be reborn, start over again. It also sounds like you are questioning someone close to you (Ex: breeding cancer, drowning).
This is just my take on it, and I am probably TOTALLY off. I like the line structure and spacing that you used.
Nice job!
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Nicely done, I really like the flow you have going on...the format making you stop and think of what your reading!
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im not good at this art.... but the poems looks good, make me feel the emotion
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wow....
this makes me think a lot, and some of the phrases really stuck out in my mind. spok to me, if oyu will XD
the structure of this is just way cool <3
fav'd.
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great piece of writing
interesting layout, not the usual kind
this makes me think of an older couple for some reason, i like stuff that makes me think a bit
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I remindes me of a song by Celine Dion: Life
I love it
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I can tell there was alot of thought put into writing this. Great job!
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thats pretty decent typography in case you didn't notice ! very nice piece ! makes people think !
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Altho I'm not a real fan of writings and stuff, I liked the feeling in this.
Don't have any advanced critique, sorry, but I've got no knowledge whatsoever about writings. :/
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As was said, structure is key here- it's what really makes this poem snap at you, hang of the edge of it's words at the tone of the letters- really bites back considering the subject and the concepts. It's abstract, but very direct in the sense of life and death- but there's a lot of idea surrounding it. It's very well done, and it's the type of poem I prefer. Excellent!
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really like the structure and it's quite provocative
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the very beggining reminds me of the life of a phoenix
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I like the pacing in this.. The way you've broken up the words is very deliberate and well chosen, adding a right element of impact to what you are trying to say. I also like how you redeem the reader throughout.
One minor nitpick.. "pleasant"
That is all
Otherwise, well done.
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so first of all, you completely manipulated the speed at which the reader.. well reads it lol, without having it seem messy, which can very hard i find, and ive seen ppl try it and turn out horribly, thumbs up to that alone. I think it can be taken several way depending on what has been overriding the thoughts of the reader upon starting this poem. Some people can think of it as human interaction rekindlind and the such, or or can be though of as a double thoguht for overall life as well, how we live and what goes on ya know. What makes people happy, and what drives people to the way they are. Thrown up for comtemplation not not obviously answered,. which is what a good writer should do. A good peom should leave someone thinking as they walk away, whcih is what this one really gets at. And, at this point now i can say the typical "good job", but i do mean it.
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I know this isn't my work, but damn, you put that well
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I'm the same way. It only works about a third of a time, but those words with depth and insight are worth their weight in gold
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Well, responding to the description: I think this is about rebirth. When You mentioned the better parent, friend part, I thought of a drug addict just leaving a mental ward. maybe that's how one feels afterward.
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I like this very much
it's not angsty, instead veering towards a more thoughtful and reflexive approach for the reader to think about
I especially like the structure of the lines as well as Did you regret?...Well don't. It's about you.
Great work!
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Interesting and thought-provoking. It makes you think, and in that the last line wraps itself together perfectly. Sometimes, that's all you need, really. This is a story in itself, very creative, and I really enjoy the layout that you've given it. Great structure. It makes it visually appealing as well, without being chaotic. Very reflective, human emotions and situations. A powerful riddle of life and all of its related experiences. I enjoyed it.
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it's comment's like these, that make me smile.
I'm glad someone finally mentioned the layout, I was starting to wonder if it was a flop.
Thank you much <333
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You're very welcome. Personally I really liked the layout, because it made you stop at the right places, take that breath before reading the next line.
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Thought-provoking, to say the least. The rhythm is very well done! One tiny thing, you wrote "frient" instead of "friend".
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Oh wow, I didn't even notice the 't'. Danke!
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i really like the poem. very powerful and great sturcture
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I like, looks GREAT!!
Michelle*
The best "nation" there is, is your "imagination."
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Interesting, and soulful. Im really finding the angle interesting, and the shift in focus adds a lot of points in my book!
Good work!
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Nice poem =3 Very deep, it really reflects human nature well
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wow. awesome work. I love pieces like this, that speak volumes in a very simple way.
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