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xLalawonderland — I'm a little kitten.
Published: 2010-11-26 13:23:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 751; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 11
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Pont des Arts.the locks are representing love <333
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hmmm... not sure what to say about this... on the one hand I do tend to be somewhat of a romantic, but a sad and bitter, disappointed romantic... so there is somewhat of a conflict involving contradictory impulses going on...
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woot.
I had to read it like 6 times to understand it XD
It's on the pont des arts in Paris.
Love couples hang those things on the bridge and trow the keys in Seine.
I think it's sweet.
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and you still don't understand, do you...???
it is a nice sentiment throwing the keys in the Seine.
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no i don't haha
haha yeah it is.
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I didn't think you did LOL...
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okay, I'm dumb today..
you didn't think I did what?
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understand what I was talking about...
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I' STILL debating about whether to fave this or not... 
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because I'm uncertain about my view concerning the idea of love.
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sooo, what has that to do with my photo?
do you like it? or not?
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I do like it, it is quite nice 
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haha you're weird!
In a good way though.
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thanks. 
and idk, maybe it's because I'm old and jaded that I have such issues with love, it is something that has been very hard for me to find. hope you never find yourself in that position, it's not easy especially when you fool yourself into believing it's near when in reality it's just as distant as ever...
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no problemo 
I like weird and odd.
because it's something special.
and not like all "normal" things the same.
AND I think saying something is not normal is the stupidest thing in the whole wide world.
because you don't know what normal is.
okay maybe my English isn't that good.
but you get the point right?
that sounds so sad.. I'm like awful when it goes about love. my relationships are not more then like 3 months.. but I have a lot.. I just suck at having a relation..
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yeah, I know what you're talking about, it's like what is the definition of "normal" anyway and who makes the decision to define what is or is not "normal" (within reason, since there are extreme psychological/psychiatric conditions and their related behaviors which would not be considered normal even by those with the condition)...
idk, usually I don't think about it but I've been hanging out with a woman I've had a major, long time crush on and we've definitely been getting closer the last couple months... and the other night I think I may have missed a moment of opportunity to at least "test the waters" to see if it could go farther... our parting goodnight hug was long and affectionate and when I started to let go she hugged even tighter, complete with head nuzzling
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yeah, that's like totally what I meant haha
YOU MISSED A HUGE OPPORTUNITY!
you dummy! haha
you should have kissed her!
butt awwwww, it sounds so sweeet!
It really sounds you really like her!
cute
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yeah that's what I thought
hahaha... yeah cute, "old" people love...
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you just think to much.
haha no really.
yeaah I..
meh..
I had like this really good story and stuff.
and then my brain went pooop.
so.
haha
but I do know what you mean; with the "what if it doesn't work out"-part.
but you know, if you don't try, you get nowhere..
okay that's a dutch saying what I translated to English, I don't know if it's correct.
hahaha yeah that's cute.
I think my parents are cute too :333
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hahaha... brain fart... 
you probably mean something like " you will never know unless you try"... kind of like "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"...???
and yeah, I definitely think too much, trying to figure things out and still not knowing what to do... she has said that she is the same way, so not all that conducive to spontaneous moments...
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hahaha yeah XD
haha yeah! the first one!
we say in dutch; wie niet waagt, wie niet wint.
hahaha
haha lmao.
okay two people who think to much
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between the two of us thinking too much you would think we could figure it out, lol...!!!
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idk, I just don't like to jump to conclusions in a situation like this... I've been interested in other women before, gotten to know them but turned out they liked me as a friend and nothing else... so that's what I'm used to and am conditioned to expect, she would practically need to make a move for me to know if she is interested in a deeper relationship than what we have now. heh, it's like a barrier to be broken, but rather than the speed of sound this is more like trying to travel at the speed of light, not even all physicists agree on whether that's a possibility.
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okaaaaay.
I do get you.
that's just awful.. I just think I'm to young to have that experience though..
my best friend is also my ex. but after like 2 month we decided that we are better friends then boyfriend and girlfriend haha.
I think you just need to tell her your feelings or just make a move next time you have the opportunity
so;
don't think!
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you have probably had a relatively happy, well adjusted childhood, I think that the fact that both my parents died before I turned 4 yrs old has had a lot of repercussions throughout my adult life... I had to deal with a lot of death as well while growing up since I was raised by my grandparents. from what I know it seems she was kind of pushed aside as a child when her younger brother was born, so we both probably suffer from some degree of abandonment issues (mine a little more severe) and would likely benefit from a bit of therapy...
o.k., here is me NOT thinking...
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uhm yeah, I have both of my parents, a huge family and I've never moved.
my best 3 friends I know my whole life..
wow really 
thats... wow.. so intense
I don't know what to react.. sorry..
but I feel sorry for u!
hahahaha I like you not thinking!
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yeah, it does make a difference, I don't think you will have too many problems as you get older, probably just the usual minor irritations of everyday life.
thanks Lala, not that I can really do anything about that other than try to the best I can each day... it's not like it's something I consciously think about, but it had to have some kind of deep-seated effect on me psychologically that effects me on a sub-conscious level.
sure, that's what you say now, but you don't have to clean up the mess...
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yeah that's true.
aww poor u!
hahaha you don't either, because you can't think hahaha
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hahaha... that means I'm not responsible for my actions.. genius...
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oh well, guess it's over now anyway...
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she texted me all annoyed and rudely said she doesn't need all my comments (texts) and to take care of myself and not be so concerned with how she's doing... it's all job and unpaid bill related, so this is more complicated by the fact that I've been helping financially for the last few months... another of the reasons why I've been hesitant to push it any further. anyway, after I didn't reply for about 20 minutes she texted back and apologized, to which I told her is she needs a bit of space just tell me rather than getting rude and having to say "I'm sorry" later. idk, can't really get into it much, at work right now...
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aww, that's so rude!
pooor u!
why would she say that?!
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Because she's frustrated and stressed out and depressed about so many things, working 10+ hours a day having 2 get up at 4AM, not sure if she's going 2 get paid, owing several thousand dollars 2 credit card companies which she hasn't paid in like 4 months because until last month she had been unemployed since May... the fact that it's the holidays and she misses her mom who died in '03 of cancer and she gets no support from her father or his side of the family or her brother... so I can understand the reaction but it still hurts me because usually people don't say things like that when in a bad emotional state unless that's how they feel 2 some degree...
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she has a hard life!
poor her.
and poor u.
she can say that because she's just feeling awful..
sometimes I say things to my mom when I'm angry and I don't mean that at all!
so, it's gonna be o.k.!
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idk, Lala... I certainly hope you're right about that, but she did react in a similar way near the end of October after we spent an entire weekend together, went out and had a really good time... just seems it happens when she feels we might be getting closer or more specifically when she may be developing stronger feelings towards me, and she then wants to push me away and put some distance between us. I don't think I'm going to text her at all today and see what happens... last time she was texting and calling me the next day afraid something had happened, but then I misinterpreted her wanting some space, whereas this time I think she expected me to have figured that out and I didn't, so I think I may not hear from her for at least two days if not longer.
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I think she has some kind of fear of commitment..
let me know what happens!
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it is possible, I mean her thing about ending relationships after about six months could hint at that, and I mentioned I think she has abandonment issues... in that case it could be a kind of "I'm going to leave you before you have the chance to leave me" way of thinking...
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yeah I think so.
maybe you should tell her that you don't wanna hurt her?
or maybe just talk to her?
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I've already told her that... and kind of impossible to talk with someone when they aren't talking to you...
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oh..
and yeah that's true.
just wait.. she'll comes back.
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well, we did meet for a quick dinner last night, only together for about an hour to hour and a half... was kind of surprised she asked since shortly before she said she was tired and exhausted from work and was going to bed early... then calls me, which is rare for ANYONE to get a call from her, and asks about dinner and saying she just wanted someone to talk to about what's been going on with her job. so was nice... she asked if I was interested in seeing a movie possibly Sunday which is her ONLY day off for awhile, but I'm working and may have to do a double shift, just have to see how things go...
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gooood for u
I hope everything is gonna turn out okay!
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thanks, I really have no idea how things may go... I've offered to get her a christmas tree and some lights for it since she has been so down and depressed about it not feeling like xmas & not having $$$ to get one herself... though for me it hasn't felt like xmas for almost 15 years, at least since my brother died back in '97, and it had been kind of weird since my grandfather passed away in 1984 (well before your time I know...). sent a message with the offer, just have to wait and see what sort of response I receive.
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nobody does when it goes about love..
just wait and see..
that's sweet of you to offer her a tree!
I never thought that you had such a harsh life..
I kinda feel sorry for u..
let me know what she says!
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my life isn't all that bad, could have been better but wasn't, just have to deal with it..
I also suggested breakfast since I knew I'd be getting off from work at least a few hours late, and.......
nothing....
no response at all... which I can only assume means "leave me alone"...
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okaayy..
that's true
but still.
that doesn't have to mean that..
maybe she read it to late.
or I dunno.
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