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Description
I wake up immediately after the dream’s end coughing. I am sweaty and light headed. I feel someone stroking my hair so I force open my eyes to see Mikey’s worried face looking at me from his seat on the edge of my bed.
He continues to stroke my sweaty hair and asks, “Are you okay? Need your inhaler?”
I sit up, nod, and bring my arm to my face so I am coughing into my sleeve. Mikey hands me an inhaler and I pull my arm away from my face to see blood on my sleeve. I put the inhaler to my lips, press down, and inhale. My coughing subsides and Mikey smiles.
“Are you okay?” Mikey asks again.
“I’m fine,” I say in a weak voice and scoot next to Mikey and hang my feet off the edge of the bed. “Have you ever coughed up blood?”
Mikey looks at me oddly and shakes his head. “No, why?”
I show him the blood mark on my sleeve and he slowly nods. I lay my head on his shoulder and warp my arm around his waist.
“Are you tired?” Mikey asks and pushes hair away from my face.
I begin to think about it and am suddenly hit with a wave of fatigue. “Yes,” I mumble, words becoming beyond me.
“You wanna clean yourself up before you go to sleep?” Mieky asks in a soft voice.
“No,” I mumble, as my eyes grow a bit heavy.
Mikey coughs and responds, “Okay.”
I sit upright at the sound of his cough and am suddenly no longer sleepy; “Actually,” I begin. “I think I’m gonna take a shower.”
Mikey nods looking a bit confused. I stand up and go to my dresser and grab some clothes. I walk across the hallway to the bathroom and shut the door. I undress and start the shower. I jump in and begin to bathe.

I enter my bedroom after my shower and glance at my clock. It is 10:35 p.m. I sigh as a wave of fatigue falls over me and I sit down on my bed. I see a note on my pillow and pick it up. It reads:
Arienette, I am sorry for leaving so suddenly. Gerard called and I must attend to some family issues. Go to sleep and don’t worry. I’ll be back in a couple hours and you’ll never even notice I was gone. Sleep well.
Love,
Mikey
I smile and set the note on my side table and lay down on my bed. I pull my blanket over me and drift off to sleep.

I wake up to the faint ring of my telephone. I turn over and see no Mikey. I look at the clock to see it is 3 a.m. who could be calling at three fucking a.m.! I sigh and crawl out of bed and dash down the hall for the phone. I pick it up on the last ring to hear sobs.
“Hello?” I ask.
“I feel so unworthy,” the voice responds and I immediately identify it as Mikey.
“What’s wrong?” I ask in a worried tone. “Where are you?”
“I’m home,” he says simply. “In my room.”
Mikey’s sobs stop our conversation and I listen for the moment. I hear someone banging on the door and suddenly Mikey’s sobs stop.
“I’m gone,” he mumbles and hangs up. I wonder what he meant and immediately go into panic mode and try to find my keys to my apartment. I find them and remember to grab my inhaler before running out of my apartment; ignoring the ringing phone as I leave.
My legs carry me unconsciously down unknown streets as though I had run this path before. I focus on the address Mikey had written down on the piece of paper he had given me the day I had left the ward. I focus on that and only that.
I appear in front of the door of the house with the address he had given me. I don’t know how long it took for me to get here or which streets I took but I was glad to just be there. I knock on the door only to be greeted moments later by an unhappy and worried looking Gerard. I step in and scan the living room.
“Where’s Mikey’s room?” I ask through pants.
Gerard points and I dash off; him following close behind. I hit Mikey’s bedroom door and fall to my knees; coughing. I move aside and Gerard karate kicks the door open. Mikey is on the floor on his knees. I suddenly appear next to him as my coughs subside. I guess my legs moved me there. I notice that these events were similar to my dream. I shake the though from my head as Mikey embraces me.
When we release each other after a moment of silence Mikey breaks into sobs again. He is soon taken over by a fit of coughs much like the ones I often have. His face grows weary and his eyes distant. When his coughs finally subside he falls into my arms, faint. I fall over because of the sudden falling motion of his weight onto my weak body. I am worn out from running and move Mikey so he lies next to me. I lie down next to him and close my eyes. I take his hand in mine and hold it tight. Sleep comes quickly and soon everything is dark.

I wake up in a bed, a nice, comfortable, warm bed. Everything is dark. No lights are on the room. I glance at a clock that burns the red numbers 9:45 a.m. I wonder how long I had been asleep. I pull the sheets off of my body and climb off the bed and stand there for a moment in the darkness. I walk out to find the rest of the house just as dark as the room I was in. My mind begins to catch up to me and I am flooded by the memories of the night before. I feel very overwhelmed by the thought and fall back to sit down on the couch.
When my thoughts catch up to me I notice that there is a light coming from the kitchen area. I get back up on my feet and head to the kitchen. I scan the room to see no one. I sigh and walk back to the living room and sit in silence on the couch.
Moments later the phone rings. I decide to pick it up because no one else is home. I am nervous as I pick up the phone and am greeted by Gerard’s voice on the other end.
“Finally one of you woke up,” he says after his greeting. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” I reply.
“Wake up Mikey if he’s not already awake would ya?”
“Okay,” I reply.
“I’ll be home in a bit with dinner,” he says. “Goodbye.”
“Okay, goodbye.”
We both hang up and I set the phone down. I walk to Mikey’s bedroom door and run my hand down its wooden surface to the knob and turn it. I enter his dark room and head towards his bed. There he was sleeping peacefully in his bed like nothing had happened. I brush some of his hair away from his face. I really didn’t want to wake him from his slumber, but I knew that I should. His right arm was lying at his side so I take his hand in mine. I lean down and kiss his forehead. I feel a squeeze on my hand and pull away to see Mikey’s eyes open.
“Good evening,” I say considering the time, and sits down on the edge of his bed.
“I’m sorry,” Mikey mumbles. “I love you. I’m sorry I almost died.”
I am confused for a moment but manage to ask, “What?”
“You didn’t,” his bedroom door opening cuts off Mikey. Gerard is standing there with food.
“Hungry?” he asks.
We both nod and stand up. Gerard walks out and I begin for the door but Mikey grabs my arm. I turn around to look at him. I notice a white bloodstained bandage up his left arm until about his elbow. He hides it behind his back when he sees me glance at it.
“Last night, I’m really sorry…almost died,” Mikey says.
“Wha…did you have an asthma attack?” I ask, still confused.
“Yes but I also tried,” he stops and takes his wrist from behind his back to show the bandage once more. “Suicide,” he finishes his sentence.
“What? Why?” I ask now more confused.
“My mom died,” he says as he passes by me and leaves his room.
I sit there in a state of shock and turn to follow him out.

Gerard pulls me aside after dinner while Mikey goes to take a shower. We sit in the living room on the couch. His face looks weary but there is a sense of brotherly concern in his eyes.
“Arienette,” he begins. “I overheard part of Mikey and your conversation earlier. Do you remember what you said last night before you fell asleep?”
“No. My mind shut off right when I closed my eyes,” I reply. “Why what did I say?”
“You said ‘I love you. Please don’t die.’ To him and he woke up, but he saw you asleep and left you alone.”
I sit there in shock. It was just like my dream except with detail. I know my face shows my thoughts so I am not surprised when Gerard asks, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I say and stand up. I walk to Gerard’s room and enter. I shut the door and take my key from my pocket. On my keychain is a small pocketknife. I pull up my sleeve and flip up the blade of the pocketknife. I run the knife horizontally across my wrist to see the blood begin to ooze out. I flip the knife back down, pull my sleeve back down, and return my keys to my pocket. I lie down on Gerard’s bed and sigh deeply. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

I wake up from a disturbing dream; sweating. I run my hands down my body to make sure my dream wasn’t real. There were no gashes and cuts so I sigh deeply. I crawl out of bed knowing sleep wouldn’t come anymore. I look at the clock to see it’s about 6 a.m. I sigh again and head to the door. I turn the cold knob of the door and stand in the hallway a moment before walking to the living room. I walk past Gerard asleep on the couch and head to the front door. I unlock it and step outside. I shut the door and sit down on the steps. I stare at the sky, thinking.
After a good amount of thinking and silence I feel someone sit down on the steps next to me. I turn to see Mikey’s sleepless face.
“Can’t sleep?” he asks.
“I would ask you the same,” I respond not wanting to tell him about my dream.
“I don’t sleep much,” he says honestly. “So, why are you out here.”
“Bad dream leaving me with no hopes of going back to sleep,” I say simply.
“Oh, then why did you come out here?”
“Iono, I felt like it. It’s so nice out right now.”
“Yeah,” Mikey says softly. “Wanna take a walk?”
I nod and he stands up and holds out his hand. I take it and stand up. We walk down the street holding hands. We pass under bright streetlights every few feet. Everything is silent as we walk.
A couple blocks later I see a familiar looking park ahead. I turn to look at Mikey and drop his hand. I smile and run off towards the park’s swings. I look back at Mikey a couple times as I run. He was running after me and gaining.
We both reach the low black swings at the same time. I sit down on one and he sits in the one to my right. I hear him panting and gasping. I turn to look at him. He looks completely exhausted trying to stifle some coughs.
“Are you okay?” I ask with concern.
He shakes his head and his face grows distant. His coughs stop but he still doesn’t look okay.
“I’m okay,” he mutters and his grip loosens on the chain of the swing. His face goes blank and he falls forward onto the cold sand. I immediately go into panic mode and contemplate whether to leave him here and get Gerard or stay here with him. I kneel down next to him and think some more.
After a couple minutes it hits me and I begin to search Mikey’s pockets and find his cell phone as I had guessed. I take it out and quickly dial Mikey’s home number. I anxiously listen to the rings.
When Gerard answers in a tired voice I immediately exclaim, “I think Mikey had an asthma attack!”
“Where are you?” he asks in a suddenly serious voice.
“A couple blocks down at a park,” I say in a worried tone.
“River Park?” Gerard asks.
“I don’t know!” I exclaim. “Just hurry!”
“Okay, okay, calm down. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
With that I hang up and throw Mikey’s phone down at the sand. I fight back tears of guilt and sorrow. I notice my hands are shaking and give up. I let tears freely flow from my eyes. I shove one of my shaky hands into my pocket and pull out my key. I flip up the pocketknife and pull down my sleeve. As I hold the blade to my wrist I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Gerard.
“Let’s go,” he says.
I nod and flip the blade back down. I let my sleeve fall back over my wrist and stand up. Gerard picks up Mikey bridal style and we head to his car.

Description
I wake up immediately after the dream’s end coughing. I am sweaty and light headed. I feel someone stroking my hair so I force open my eyes to see Mikey’s worried face looking at me from his seat on the edge of my bed.
He continues to stroke my sweaty hair and asks, “Are you okay? Need your inhaler?”
I sit up, nod, and bring my arm to my face so I am coughing into my sleeve. Mikey hands me an inhaler and I pull my arm away from my face to see blood on my sleeve. I put the inhaler to my lips, press down, and inhale. My coughing subsides and Mikey smiles.
“Are you okay?” Mikey asks again.
“I’m fine,” I say in a weak voice and scoot next to Mikey and hang my feet off the edge of the bed. “Have you ever coughed up blood?”
Mikey looks at me oddly and shakes his head. “No, why?”
I show him the blood mark on my sleeve and he slowly nods. I lay my head on his shoulder and warp my arm around his waist.
“Are you tired?” Mikey asks and pushes hair away from my face.
I begin to think about it and am suddenly hit with a wave of fatigue. “Yes,” I mumble, words becoming beyond me.
“You wanna clean yourself up before you go to sleep?” Mieky asks in a soft voice.
“No,” I mumble, as my eyes grow a bit heavy.
Mikey coughs and responds, “Okay.”
I sit upright at the sound of his cough and am suddenly no longer sleepy; “Actually,” I begin. “I think I’m gonna take a shower.”
Mikey nods looking a bit confused. I stand up and go to my dresser and grab some clothes. I walk across the hallway to the bathroom and shut the door. I undress and start the shower. I jump in and begin to bathe.

I enter my bedroom after my shower and glance at my clock. It is 10:35 p.m. I sigh as a wave of fatigue falls over me and I sit down on my bed. I see a note on my pillow and pick it up. It reads:
Arienette, I am sorry for leaving so suddenly. Gerard called and I must attend to some family issues. Go to sleep and don’t worry. I’ll be back in a couple hours and you’ll never even notice I was gone. Sleep well.
Love,
Mikey
I smile and set the note on my side table and lay down on my bed. I pull my blanket over me and drift off to sleep.

I wake up to the faint ring of my telephone. I turn over and see no Mikey. I look at the clock to see it is 3 a.m. who could be calling at three fucking a.m.! I sigh and crawl out of bed and dash down the hall for the phone. I pick it up on the last ring to hear sobs.
“Hello?” I ask.
“I feel so unworthy,” the voice responds and I immediately identify it as Mikey.
“What’s wrong?” I ask in a worried tone. “Where are you?”
“I’m home,” he says simply. “In my room.”
Mikey’s sobs stop our conversation and I listen for the moment. I hear someone banging on the door and suddenly Mikey’s sobs stop.
“I’m gone,” he mumbles and hangs up. I wonder what he meant and immediately go into panic mode and try to find my keys to my apartment. I find them and remember to grab my inhaler before running out of my apartment; ignoring the ringing phone as I leave.
My legs carry me unconsciously down unknown streets as though I had run this path before. I focus on the address Mikey had written down on the piece of paper he had given me the day I had left the ward. I focus on that and only that.
I appear in front of the door of the house with the address he had given me. I don’t know how long it took for me to get here or which streets I took but I was glad to just be there. I knock on the door only to be greeted moments later by an unhappy and worried looking Gerard. I step in and scan the living room.
“Where’s Mikey’s room?” I ask through pants.
Gerard points and I dash off; him following close behind. I hit Mikey’s bedroom door and fall to my knees; coughing. I move aside and Gerard karate kicks the door open. Mikey is on the floor on his knees. I suddenly appear next to him as my coughs subside. I guess my legs moved me there. I notice that these events were similar to my dream. I shake the though from my head as Mikey embraces me.
When we release each other after a moment of silence Mikey breaks into sobs again. He is soon taken over by a fit of coughs much like the ones I often have. His face grows weary and his eyes distant. When his coughs finally subside he falls into my arms, faint. I fall over because of the sudden falling motion of his weight onto my weak body. I am worn out from running and move Mikey so he lies next to me. I lie down next to him and close my eyes. I take his hand in mine and hold it tight. Sleep comes quickly and soon everything is dark.

I wake up in a bed, a nice, comfortable, warm bed. Everything is dark. No lights are on the room. I glance at a clock that burns the red numbers 9:45 a.m. I wonder how long I had been asleep. I pull the sheets off of my body and climb off the bed and stand there for a moment in the darkness. I walk out to find the rest of the house just as dark as the room I was in. My mind begins to catch up to me and I am flooded by the memories of the night before. I feel very overwhelmed by the thought and fall back to sit down on the couch.
When my thoughts catch up to me I notice that there is a light coming from the kitchen area. I get back up on my feet and head to the kitchen. I scan the room to see no one. I sigh and walk back to the living room and sit in silence on the couch.
Moments later the phone rings. I decide to pick it up because no one else is home. I am nervous as I pick up the phone and am greeted by Gerard’s voice on the other end.
“Finally one of you woke up,” he says after his greeting. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” I reply.
“Wake up Mikey if he’s not already awake would ya?”
“Okay,” I reply.
“I’ll be home in a bit with dinner,” he says. “Goodbye.”
“Okay, goodbye.”
We both hang up and I set the phone down. I walk to Mikey’s bedroom door and run my hand down its wooden surface to the knob and turn it. I enter his dark room and head towards his bed. There he was sleeping peacefully in his bed like nothing had happened. I brush some of his hair away from his face. I really didn’t want to wake him from his slumber, but I knew that I should. His right arm was lying at his side so I take his hand in mine. I lean down and kiss his forehead. I feel a squeeze on my hand and pull away to see Mikey’s eyes open.
“Good evening,” I say considering the time, and sits down on the edge of his bed.
“I’m sorry,” Mikey mumbles. “I love you. I’m sorry I almost died.”
I am confused for a moment but manage to ask, “What?”
“You didn’t,” his bedroom door opening cuts off Mikey. Gerard is standing there with food.
“Hungry?” he asks.
We both nod and stand up. Gerard walks out and I begin for the door but Mikey grabs my arm. I turn around to look at him. I notice a white bloodstained bandage up his left arm until about his elbow. He hides it behind his back when he sees me glance at it.
“Last night, I’m really sorry…almost died,” Mikey says.
“Wha…did you have an asthma attack?” I ask, still confused.
“Yes but I also tried,” he stops and takes his wrist from behind his back to show the bandage once more. “Suicide,” he finishes his sentence.
“What? Why?” I ask now more confused.
“My mom died,” he says as he passes by me and leaves his room.
I sit there in a state of shock and turn to follow him out.

Gerard pulls me aside after dinner while Mikey goes to take a shower. We sit in the living room on the couch. His face looks weary but there is a sense of brotherly concern in his eyes.
“Arienette,” he begins. “I overheard part of Mikey and your conversation earlier. Do you remember what you said last night before you fell asleep?”
“No. My mind shut off right when I closed my eyes,” I reply. “Why what did I say?”
“You said ‘I love you. Please don’t die.’ To him and he woke up, but he saw you asleep and left you alone.”
I sit there in shock. It was just like my dream except with detail. I know my face shows my thoughts so I am not surprised when Gerard asks, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I say and stand up. I walk to Gerard’s room and enter. I shut the door and take my key from my pocket. On my keychain is a small pocketknife. I pull up my sleeve and flip up the blade of the pocketknife. I run the knife horizontally across my wrist to see the blood begin to ooze out. I flip the knife back down, pull my sleeve back down, and return my keys to my pocket. I lie down on Gerard’s bed and sigh deeply. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

I wake up from a disturbing dream; sweating. I run my hands down my body to make sure my dream wasn’t real. There were no gashes and cuts so I sigh deeply. I crawl out of bed knowing sleep wouldn’t come anymore. I look at the clock to see it’s about 6 a.m. I sigh again and head to the door. I turn the cold knob of the door and stand in the hallway a moment before walking to the living room. I walk past Gerard asleep on the couch and head to the front door. I unlock it and step outside. I shut the door and sit down on the steps. I stare at the sky, thinking.
After a good amount of thinking and silence I feel someone sit down on the steps next to me. I turn to see Mikey’s sleepless face.
“Can’t sleep?” he asks.
“I would ask you the same,” I respond not wanting to tell him about my dream.
“I don’t sleep much,” he says honestly. “So, why are you out here.”
“Bad dream leaving me with no hopes of going back to sleep,” I say simply.
“Oh, then why did you come out here?”
“Iono, I felt like it. It’s so nice out right now.”
“Yeah,” Mikey says softly. “Wanna take a walk?”
I nod and he stands up and holds out his hand. I take it and stand up. We walk down the street holding hands. We pass under bright streetlights every few feet. Everything is silent as we walk.
A couple blocks later I see a familiar looking park ahead. I turn to look at Mikey and drop his hand. I smile and run off towards the park’s swings. I look back at Mikey a couple times as I run. He was running after me and gaining.
We both reach the low black swings at the same time. I sit down on one and he sits in the one to my right. I hear him panting and gasping. I turn to look at him. He looks completely exhausted trying to stifle some coughs.
“Are you okay?” I ask with concern.
He shakes his head and his face grows distant. His coughs stop but he still doesn’t look okay.
“I’m okay,” he mutters and his grip loosens on the chain of the swing. His face goes blank and he falls forward onto the cold sand. I immediately go into panic mode and contemplate whether to leave him here and get Gerard or stay here with him. I kneel down next to him and think some more.
After a couple minutes it hits me and I begin to search Mikey’s pockets and find his cell phone as I had guessed. I take it out and quickly dial Mikey’s home number. I anxiously listen to the rings.
When Gerard answers in a tired voice I immediately exclaim, “I think Mikey had an asthma attack!”
“Where are you?” he asks in a suddenly serious voice.
“A couple blocks down at a park,” I say in a worried tone.
“River Park?” Gerard asks.
“I don’t know!” I exclaim. “Just hurry!”
“Okay, okay, calm down. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
With that I hang up and throw Mikey’s phone down at the sand. I fight back tears of guilt and sorrow. I notice my hands are shaking and give up. I let tears freely flow from my eyes. I shove one of my shaky hands into my pocket and pull out my key. I flip up the pocketknife and pull down my sleeve. As I hold the blade to my wrist I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Gerard.
“Let’s go,” he says.
I nod and flip the blade back down. I let my sleeve fall back over my wrist and stand up. Gerard picks up Mikey bridal style and we head to his car.