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Description
I awoke in the middle of the night from a nightmare and immediately catching myself in a fit of coughs. I can’t remember when I first got sick, probably sometime around mid-December. It’s the week of the New Year and my room is freezing cold. I shiver under my one blanket and wonder how I had landed myself in this situation. I live in a small, smelly, old apartment with just enough money to eat.
I pull my one blanket up to my neck and turn over on my side. This doesn’t help one bit because I start coughing again. This time the fit of coughs lasts a bit longer. I feel faint once I feel nothing more coming and turn back to lying on my back. I catch my breath and close my eyes. From there my weariness takes hold and I drift off to sleep again.

I awoke from another nightmare sweaty. Possibly it was the one from earlier but I doubt it and turn to look at my alarm clock. It’s red letters burned 6:45 a.m. I sigh, knowing I should get up. I pull my blanket off my body to be hit with the cold air of my apartment. I quickly decide that a shower would be a waste of time and get dressed in my usual fashion.
When I finish applying my black eyeliner I stare at my image in the mirror for a moment. I turn to walk away but am taken over by an almost never-ending fit of stinging, burning coughs that leave me light headed. I get the urge to cut but my body gives in and it all goes pitch black.

I awake to a cold hand pressing on my forehead. I open my eyes to see the moving ceiling. I count the light but find it too boring to hold my attention. I feel the hand come off of my forehead. I try to sit up but a white-gloved hand pushes me down. I note to myself that the people pushing me around were doctors.
I pass under a doorframe and soon after stop moving.
“Ms. Anderson,” one of the thought to be doctors began. “Can you hear me?” he continues.
“Yeah,” my voice is dry and soft, it hurt to just say that one word.
“Okay,” he replies. “Do you think you can stand?” he asks another question and I fear to talk again because of the pain. Instead I shrug. “Try,” he tells me.
I sit up and drop off the rolling bed of sorts so I stood on my boney, wobbly legs. I don’t feel secure standing on them because they are shaking so horribly.
“Good,” the doctor says as he watches me. “That bed there is yours,” he continues and points to a bed.
I shuffle over and collapse on its somewhat soft surface. I cough only a couple times and that is enough to wear me out. My eyes suddenly grow heavy and soon enough I fall into a deep sleep of sorts.

I dip my spoon into the bowl that had been set in front of me on a tray. My first meal since arriving here and so far it seems fine. I continue to eat the various food items on the tray but am interrupted just as I take a bite of a bright red apple. A tall skinny man enters my room and takes a seat in one of the chairs near my bed. I glance at the doorway to see a doctor there watching. I move my blue eyes back to the man and take another bit of my apple; waiting for him to speak.
“How are you?” he finally asks after a somewhat long and awkward silence.
“Fine,” I manage to reply but feel the burn in my throat again.
I wanted to ask ‘who are you?’ but he managed to see that I was confused and answered it before I could even ask it.
“ I am Brian,” he says and extends a hand.
I wait a moment before asking, “why?” just that had burned.
“Do you mean why I am here instead of a family member or something?” he asks and I nod so he continues. “I found you in your apartment unconscious.”
I nod remembering the night before, I take another bite of my apple before the nurse comes in and tells Brian that he has to leave. He walks out and the nurse takes my tray from my lap.
“Medicine,” she says and hands me a small cup filled with a red gooey substance.
I drink it and hand the cup back to her. I cough a couple times as she leaves. Just this wears me out a bit so I slump in my bed and pull the covers over my body. I stare at the veiling and count the tiles until I fall asleep.

The next time I wake up I hear two voices softly conversating. I open my eyes to see they are two doctors. I see a patient asleep in the bed across from me. I figure they must be talking about the patient.
They finish their conversation and leave. The patient immediately sits up after they leave the notices that I am watching intently.
“Hello,” the college aged person who appears to be male greets me.
“Hey,” I say to find that it doesn’t hurt as much to speak. “Who are you?” I continue.
“Mikey, “ he simply says. “And you? Who are you?”
“Arienette,” I say and sigh. The sound of my own voice and name surprised me a bit but I continue, “Why are you here?”
“Cutting, depression, suicide attempts,” he says it like it was no big deal. “And you?”
I shrug. I really didn’t know but I say something anyways, “I’ve been sick for like the past three weeks with this horrible cough. That might be why I am here.”
He nods and slumps a bit in his bed. He has short brown hair with come blonde streaks in it. His pale face has a tired look and the bags under his eyes are deep and dark.
“Wonder when I get out of here and sent to the suicide ward,” Mikey wonders out loud after a couple moments of silence.
“Where are we then?” I ask.
He looks at me like I’m crazy and replies, “Regular care. A hospital.”
Just as he finishes a doctor comes in and tells Mikey to follow him. He smiles at me before he exits and their presence is filled with that of a female doctor.
“Arienette, we ran some tests when you first arrived here,” she began to explain in her soft, calm voice. “Your cold is a normal one, but we also found that you are Bipolar.”
I sit there a moment as the words register. A gear clicks and I ask, “Am I going anywhere?”
“A ward where other people that have similar conditions stay,” she replies and pauses a moment. “Do you still want to be roommates with Mikey?” I nod and she continues speaking, “Okay I’m going to go get the clothes Brian dropped off and you can change.”
I notice that I am wearing a hospital gown when she says that. She exits and returns only moments later with a brown paper bag.
“Go change in the bathroom.” She points to a door. “After you’re done I’ll take you to the ward area where you will be staying.”
I nod and take the bag and go to get dressed.

I walk into the assigned room with the doctor to see Mikey sitting on his bed reading a book. He looks up as I drop my bag at the foot of the empty bed on the other side of the small room. The doctor says goodbye and leaves.
“Why are you in this ward?” he asks, considering this ward was for people with depression-oriented mental illnesses.
“They ran some kind of tests when I first arrived and found small signs of bipolar in me,” I explain as I sit down on my bed.
“Ever cut yourself?” he asks and sets his book on the small table next to his bed. I nod and he smiles. “Why didn’t you tell me? Never thought it was serious?”
“I don’t know. Since I got out of high school my life has been pretty messed up,” I explain and look at Mikey oddly. He was over by his own heap of clothes and was digging through them.
“What happened?” he asks after finding what he wanted.
“My younger brother committed suicide and my parents just suddenly disappeared, leaving me with nothing.” I watch as he opens what looks to be a glasses case and I continue, “I’m poor as fuck.”
“That sucks,” he says as he puts on these nice black-rimmed emo glasses. “Were you close to your brother?”
“Very,” I reply. “What about you? Why do you cut?” I ask as he walks across the room and sits down next to me on my bed.
“I don’t know. My older brother has depression and that might’ve triggered me,” he says in plain simple words.
“Oh. Has he ever tried to commit suicide?” I ask. We both seemed to be full of questions for the other.
“Yeah he did once. He sees a therapist routinely. I’ve tried to commit suicide once before this time,” he states. “I’m in a band with him though.”
“Cool,” I simply say. “What instrument do you play?”
“Bass”
“And your brother?”
“Vocals, just vocals.”
Our conversation ended with that and Mikey went back to his bed. He picks up his book and lies down. He opens the book and glance at the cover. I recognize the title but can’t remember if I read the book. I lie down and turn on my side to face the wall. I wasn’t at all tired but somehow when I close my eyes I immediately drift off to sleep.

“Mealtime!” Mikey’s voice goes through my ears and registers in my brain to wake me up.
“What?” I say in a groggy voice.
“Mealtime,” Mike says. “They told me to wake you up because you need to eat.”
I nod and sit up and see a nurse in the doorway holding two trays with normal sized meals on them. I sit on the edge of my bed for a moment and watch as the nurse sets both the trays on a small table I had never noticed before. The nurse leaves and Mikey moves towards the table and sits in front of one of the trays. He motions for me to come and sit next to him. I walk over and plop down in the chair. I examine the food carefully as Mikey begins to eat.
“It’s not that great,” Mikey says after a while since I still hadn’t touched my food. “Chicken is the best. Too bad today they gave us mac and cheese,” he continues, poking the main course he called ‘mac and cheese’ with his fork.
I pick up my fork and stab some of the noodles and eat them. A look of disgust crosses my face. This food was horrible, just wretched.
“Bad?” mikey asks once he sees my face.
“Terrible,” I say. “It’s almost like they want us not to eat.”
“Yeah really. I lost weight last time I was here,” Mikey says with a laugh.
“You are really skinny,” I note. “When were you here last?” I ask, picking up my fork again and stabbing some of the fruit.
“Uh, Mid-December I think,” he replies and takes another bite of the mac and cheese.
“That’s around when I got sick,” I state and take a bit of the fruit on my fork.
“Really…. that’s interesting,” he says. “I’ve gotten so used to the food that I don’t mind the taste anymore.”
“The fruit ain’t that bad,” I say, examining the grape on my fork. “Do you have to take any medicine?”
“After this meal I take anti-depressants. Visiting time starts soon as well.”
“Visiting time, eh?” I say and eat the purple grape.
Mikey nods and turns to look in the doorway. In it stood a nurse holding two different cups. One looked to be filled with liquid that I guessed was mine and the other one looked to have pulls in it which I guessed was Mikey’s.
“Pill time,” the nurse says in a monotonous tone.
She walks over and hands each of us the medication. She watches us take our medication and takes our trays.
“Thank you,” she says in the same flat voice before leaving with our trays.
Mikey is the first to stand up after the nurse leaves. He walks over to his bed and lies down with his book. I sit there for a moment before settling on my own bed. I lay on my back and cross my arms on my chest. I close my eyes but do not sleep for once so I reopen my eyes. Mikey must’ve noticed this because he glances over at me.
“What?” I murmur and turn over to look at him.
“What?” he asks back.
Our eyes were focused together and I realized his has deep brown eyes.
“I like your eyes,” I say; not loosing the eye contact we held.
He blushes a bit and says, “Thanks.”
I opened my mouth to reply but am interrupted by a knock on the doorframe. Both our eyes move to the nurse in the doorway.
“Mikey Way you have a visitor,” he says.
Mikey smiles and stands up. “Is it my brother?” he asks.
The nurse shrugs and looks at me. “Arienette Anderson you have a visitor as well.”
“Okay,” I say and stand up.
We both walk up the long hallway that connected the visiting rooms with our ward area. We are silent until we reach the door.
“Have fun visiting with your family,” I say as they unlock the door.
Mikey nods and runs off to hug what must’ve been his brother. I sigh and scan the people for a familiar face. I spot Brian and he walks over.
“Hey,” he says with a smile. “Let’s go to a room.”
He walks to a room and I follow him. He sits in a chair and I settle myself on the ugly green couch across from him.
“Who are you?” I ask after a bit of silence between us.
“Oh I’m sorry if I never told you my relation to you,” he begins. “I’m your step brother.”
I sit there in a bit of shock. I shake my head and say, “Did my mom or dad get married? And how did you find me?”
“Dad,” he says. “I called and got no answer so I went to your apartment and your landlord let me in.”
“That invading bastard,” I say under my breath.
“I got you to the hospital but can you tell me how you got in this ward?”
“Found out I was Bipolar,” I say simply. “But I’m staying in a room with this nice guy, Mikey. Can I go now?”
“Yeah,” he replies and stands up.
I stand up and walk out of the room. I walk past the room where Mikey and his brother are talking and back through the locked door. I turn into my room and collapse on my bed. I immediately drift off to sleep.

Description
I awoke in the middle of the night from a nightmare and immediately catching myself in a fit of coughs. I can’t remember when I first got sick, probably sometime around mid-December. It’s the week of the New Year and my room is freezing cold. I shiver under my one blanket and wonder how I had landed myself in this situation. I live in a small, smelly, old apartment with just enough money to eat.
I pull my one blanket up to my neck and turn over on my side. This doesn’t help one bit because I start coughing again. This time the fit of coughs lasts a bit longer. I feel faint once I feel nothing more coming and turn back to lying on my back. I catch my breath and close my eyes. From there my weariness takes hold and I drift off to sleep again.

I awoke from another nightmare sweaty. Possibly it was the one from earlier but I doubt it and turn to look at my alarm clock. It’s red letters burned 6:45 a.m. I sigh, knowing I should get up. I pull my blanket off my body to be hit with the cold air of my apartment. I quickly decide that a shower would be a waste of time and get dressed in my usual fashion.
When I finish applying my black eyeliner I stare at my image in the mirror for a moment. I turn to walk away but am taken over by an almost never-ending fit of stinging, burning coughs that leave me light headed. I get the urge to cut but my body gives in and it all goes pitch black.

I awake to a cold hand pressing on my forehead. I open my eyes to see the moving ceiling. I count the light but find it too boring to hold my attention. I feel the hand come off of my forehead. I try to sit up but a white-gloved hand pushes me down. I note to myself that the people pushing me around were doctors.
I pass under a doorframe and soon after stop moving.
“Ms. Anderson,” one of the thought to be doctors began. “Can you hear me?” he continues.
“Yeah,” my voice is dry and soft, it hurt to just say that one word.
“Okay,” he replies. “Do you think you can stand?” he asks another question and I fear to talk again because of the pain. Instead I shrug. “Try,” he tells me.
I sit up and drop off the rolling bed of sorts so I stood on my boney, wobbly legs. I don’t feel secure standing on them because they are shaking so horribly.
“Good,” the doctor says as he watches me. “That bed there is yours,” he continues and points to a bed.
I shuffle over and collapse on its somewhat soft surface. I cough only a couple times and that is enough to wear me out. My eyes suddenly grow heavy and soon enough I fall into a deep sleep of sorts.

I dip my spoon into the bowl that had been set in front of me on a tray. My first meal since arriving here and so far it seems fine. I continue to eat the various food items on the tray but am interrupted just as I take a bite of a bright red apple. A tall skinny man enters my room and takes a seat in one of the chairs near my bed. I glance at the doorway to see a doctor there watching. I move my blue eyes back to the man and take another bit of my apple; waiting for him to speak.
“How are you?” he finally asks after a somewhat long and awkward silence.
“Fine,” I manage to reply but feel the burn in my throat again.
I wanted to ask ‘who are you?’ but he managed to see that I was confused and answered it before I could even ask it.
“ I am Brian,” he says and extends a hand.
I wait a moment before asking, “why?” just that had burned.
“Do you mean why I am here instead of a family member or something?” he asks and I nod so he continues. “I found you in your apartment unconscious.”
I nod remembering the night before, I take another bite of my apple before the nurse comes in and tells Brian that he has to leave. He walks out and the nurse takes my tray from my lap.
“Medicine,” she says and hands me a small cup filled with a red gooey substance.
I drink it and hand the cup back to her. I cough a couple times as she leaves. Just this wears me out a bit so I slump in my bed and pull the covers over my body. I stare at the veiling and count the tiles until I fall asleep.

The next time I wake up I hear two voices softly conversating. I open my eyes to see they are two doctors. I see a patient asleep in the bed across from me. I figure they must be talking about the patient.
They finish their conversation and leave. The patient immediately sits up after they leave the notices that I am watching intently.
“Hello,” the college aged person who appears to be male greets me.
“Hey,” I say to find that it doesn’t hurt as much to speak. “Who are you?” I continue.
“Mikey, “ he simply says. “And you? Who are you?”
“Arienette,” I say and sigh. The sound of my own voice and name surprised me a bit but I continue, “Why are you here?”
“Cutting, depression, suicide attempts,” he says it like it was no big deal. “And you?”
I shrug. I really didn’t know but I say something anyways, “I’ve been sick for like the past three weeks with this horrible cough. That might be why I am here.”
He nods and slumps a bit in his bed. He has short brown hair with come blonde streaks in it. His pale face has a tired look and the bags under his eyes are deep and dark.
“Wonder when I get out of here and sent to the suicide ward,” Mikey wonders out loud after a couple moments of silence.
“Where are we then?” I ask.
He looks at me like I’m crazy and replies, “Regular care. A hospital.”
Just as he finishes a doctor comes in and tells Mikey to follow him. He smiles at me before he exits and their presence is filled with that of a female doctor.
“Arienette, we ran some tests when you first arrived here,” she began to explain in her soft, calm voice. “Your cold is a normal one, but we also found that you are Bipolar.”
I sit there a moment as the words register. A gear clicks and I ask, “Am I going anywhere?”
“A ward where other people that have similar conditions stay,” she replies and pauses a moment. “Do you still want to be roommates with Mikey?” I nod and she continues speaking, “Okay I’m going to go get the clothes Brian dropped off and you can change.”
I notice that I am wearing a hospital gown when she says that. She exits and returns only moments later with a brown paper bag.
“Go change in the bathroom.” She points to a door. “After you’re done I’ll take you to the ward area where you will be staying.”
I nod and take the bag and go to get dressed.

I walk into the assigned room with the doctor to see Mikey sitting on his bed reading a book. He looks up as I drop my bag at the foot of the empty bed on the other side of the small room. The doctor says goodbye and leaves.
“Why are you in this ward?” he asks, considering this ward was for people with depression-oriented mental illnesses.
“They ran some kind of tests when I first arrived and found small signs of bipolar in me,” I explain as I sit down on my bed.
“Ever cut yourself?” he asks and sets his book on the small table next to his bed. I nod and he smiles. “Why didn’t you tell me? Never thought it was serious?”
“I don’t know. Since I got out of high school my life has been pretty messed up,” I explain and look at Mikey oddly. He was over by his own heap of clothes and was digging through them.
“What happened?” he asks after finding what he wanted.
“My younger brother committed suicide and my parents just suddenly disappeared, leaving me with nothing.” I watch as he opens what looks to be a glasses case and I continue, “I’m poor as fuck.”
“That sucks,” he says as he puts on these nice black-rimmed emo glasses. “Were you close to your brother?”
“Very,” I reply. “What about you? Why do you cut?” I ask as he walks across the room and sits down next to me on my bed.
“I don’t know. My older brother has depression and that might’ve triggered me,” he says in plain simple words.
“Oh. Has he ever tried to commit suicide?” I ask. We both seemed to be full of questions for the other.
“Yeah he did once. He sees a therapist routinely. I’ve tried to commit suicide once before this time,” he states. “I’m in a band with him though.”
“Cool,” I simply say. “What instrument do you play?”
“Bass”
“And your brother?”
“Vocals, just vocals.”
Our conversation ended with that and Mikey went back to his bed. He picks up his book and lies down. He opens the book and glance at the cover. I recognize the title but can’t remember if I read the book. I lie down and turn on my side to face the wall. I wasn’t at all tired but somehow when I close my eyes I immediately drift off to sleep.

“Mealtime!” Mikey’s voice goes through my ears and registers in my brain to wake me up.
“What?” I say in a groggy voice.
“Mealtime,” Mike says. “They told me to wake you up because you need to eat.”
I nod and sit up and see a nurse in the doorway holding two trays with normal sized meals on them. I sit on the edge of my bed for a moment and watch as the nurse sets both the trays on a small table I had never noticed before. The nurse leaves and Mikey moves towards the table and sits in front of one of the trays. He motions for me to come and sit next to him. I walk over and plop down in the chair. I examine the food carefully as Mikey begins to eat.
“It’s not that great,” Mikey says after a while since I still hadn’t touched my food. “Chicken is the best. Too bad today they gave us mac and cheese,” he continues, poking the main course he called ‘mac and cheese’ with his fork.
I pick up my fork and stab some of the noodles and eat them. A look of disgust crosses my face. This food was horrible, just wretched.
“Bad?” mikey asks once he sees my face.
“Terrible,” I say. “It’s almost like they want us not to eat.”
“Yeah really. I lost weight last time I was here,” Mikey says with a laugh.
“You are really skinny,” I note. “When were you here last?” I ask, picking up my fork again and stabbing some of the fruit.
“Uh, Mid-December I think,” he replies and takes another bite of the mac and cheese.
“That’s around when I got sick,” I state and take a bit of the fruit on my fork.
“Really…. that’s interesting,” he says. “I’ve gotten so used to the food that I don’t mind the taste anymore.”
“The fruit ain’t that bad,” I say, examining the grape on my fork. “Do you have to take any medicine?”
“After this meal I take anti-depressants. Visiting time starts soon as well.”
“Visiting time, eh?” I say and eat the purple grape.
Mikey nods and turns to look in the doorway. In it stood a nurse holding two different cups. One looked to be filled with liquid that I guessed was mine and the other one looked to have pulls in it which I guessed was Mikey’s.
“Pill time,” the nurse says in a monotonous tone.
She walks over and hands each of us the medication. She watches us take our medication and takes our trays.
“Thank you,” she says in the same flat voice before leaving with our trays.
Mikey is the first to stand up after the nurse leaves. He walks over to his bed and lies down with his book. I sit there for a moment before settling on my own bed. I lay on my back and cross my arms on my chest. I close my eyes but do not sleep for once so I reopen my eyes. Mikey must’ve noticed this because he glances over at me.
“What?” I murmur and turn over to look at him.
“What?” he asks back.
Our eyes were focused together and I realized his has deep brown eyes.
“I like your eyes,” I say; not loosing the eye contact we held.
He blushes a bit and says, “Thanks.”
I opened my mouth to reply but am interrupted by a knock on the doorframe. Both our eyes move to the nurse in the doorway.
“Mikey Way you have a visitor,” he says.
Mikey smiles and stands up. “Is it my brother?” he asks.
The nurse shrugs and looks at me. “Arienette Anderson you have a visitor as well.”
“Okay,” I say and stand up.
We both walk up the long hallway that connected the visiting rooms with our ward area. We are silent until we reach the door.
“Have fun visiting with your family,” I say as they unlock the door.
Mikey nods and runs off to hug what must’ve been his brother. I sigh and scan the people for a familiar face. I spot Brian and he walks over.
“Hey,” he says with a smile. “Let’s go to a room.”
He walks to a room and I follow him. He sits in a chair and I settle myself on the ugly green couch across from him.
“Who are you?” I ask after a bit of silence between us.
“Oh I’m sorry if I never told you my relation to you,” he begins. “I’m your step brother.”
I sit there in a bit of shock. I shake my head and say, “Did my mom or dad get married? And how did you find me?”
“Dad,” he says. “I called and got no answer so I went to your apartment and your landlord let me in.”
“That invading bastard,” I say under my breath.
“I got you to the hospital but can you tell me how you got in this ward?”
“Found out I was Bipolar,” I say simply. “But I’m staying in a room with this nice guy, Mikey. Can I go now?”
“Yeah,” he replies and stands up.
I stand up and walk out of the room. I walk past the room where Mikey and his brother are talking and back through the locked door. I turn into my room and collapse on my bed. I immediately drift off to sleep.