BlackNhite In reply to OuroborosRagnarok [2013-02-14 10:38:38 +0000 UTC]

I'd almost forgotten... again.

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OuroborosRagnarok In reply to BlackNhite [2013-02-14 14:30:09 +0000 UTC]

How does one fail so hard?

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BlackNhite In reply to OuroborosRagnarok [2013-02-17 21:54:32 +0000 UTC]

With plenty of flair, lest he become devoid of companions. Entertainment becomes popularity.

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OuroborosRagnarok In reply to BlackNhite [2013-02-18 03:44:29 +0000 UTC]

And on the fifth day, man created 'self' and for a time, it was good.

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BlackNhite In reply to OuroborosRagnarok [2013-02-18 06:24:23 +0000 UTC]

But then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked...

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BlackNhite In reply to Aerial-Rave [2013-02-14 10:39:25 +0000 UTC]

Joy to the world, the dawn has come! Your cow... has borne... a son!

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Aerial-Rave In reply to BlackNhite [2013-02-14 12:39:16 +0000 UTC]

Glad to see you're still brimming with vocab.

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BlackNhite In reply to Aerial-Rave [2013-02-17 21:55:41 +0000 UTC]

I have not yet begun to eloquate. And that is not even a word.

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BlackNhite In reply to izzybizy [2011-08-27 22:34:47 +0000 UTC]

You have my word. Good luck on whatever path you choose to travel - keep in touch.

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izzybizy In reply to BlackNhite [2011-08-28 00:12:50 +0000 UTC]

thanks a lot

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BlackNhite In reply to izzybizy [2011-08-28 00:47:19 +0000 UTC]

Ah, de nada.

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-05 03:19:17 +0000 UTC]

Not much brotha, get back into the swing of classes.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-05 12:29:55 +0000 UTC]

Same. I'm just starting college myself.

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-05 18:47:51 +0000 UTC]

How many semesters you have under your belt?

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-05 20:01:24 +0000 UTC]

I'm just starting. I'm taking classes related to business management because I want to start a pest control business. I'm terrified of bees, and the prospect of going out to slaughter them everyday seems oddly...enticing.

Muahahahaha.

Anyhow, how's the chapter coming along?

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-08 19:50:26 +0000 UTC]

I myself am quite the heated opponent of ants. Bastards ate my McDonalds, they deserved everything they got! WD-40 plus open flame equals fun, end of story.

I actually have a paper due myself at the end of the month so I'm rather pressured in one direction at the moment. Sadly I'm easily over-whelmed...

I'll see what I can scrung up to send you before the learning process really hits its swing.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-08 22:14:49 +0000 UTC]

That sounds good. If you're easily overwhelmed, I won't pressure you: that won't benefit anyone or anything.

I'll be looking forward to seeing what you send me when you do get the time, though. I'm cooking some good stuff up on my end, and I can't wait to hear what you came up with.

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-09 17:58:27 +0000 UTC]

Feel free to send me some of your stuff if you wish. Might get me back into the spirit of the project.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-10 02:13:17 +0000 UTC]

Um...I hate to say this but...I'm stuck too.

I mean, I have events planned out, but I just can't seem to get them down on paper. I know the synopsis, but I can't put it down in a readable fanfiction format! Pathetic, huh?

I think it might be because I have nothing to work off of. I've been trying to just pick a random scene out of the blue, and then write it down, but that hasn't been working. If I were to get the ending to your share of the writing; the end of chapter 1/2, I might be able to work off of it. For right now, however, I'm stuck.

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-10 13:53:39 +0000 UTC]

Sheesh, two peas in a pod we are.

I actually have a good idea of what I want to happen now, I just need the right atmosphere to get down to business. I'll start something up today, find a nice spot and get writing like I've done with the other sections thus far. Contact me tomorrow and we'll see what I've managed up.

Send me that basic synopsis you have later as well, we'll see how our ideas stack up.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-10 17:50:31 +0000 UTC]

Here’s the basic idea how I saw the story playing out, starting from where the boat sinks and the crew lands on the lighthouse entrance to Rapture:

The good guys go into the lighthouse, hoping to find a HAM radio or something to radio for help. Astonishingly and unfortunately, the lighthouse doesn’t have anything. It does, however, have a bathysphere at the bottom, which they decide to take, as they have no other options. They end up in Rapture, and things quickly go south when they’re attacked by an army of splicers led by Kurama. He quickly overpowers them with plasmids and forces them to flee. The rest of the story is basically them fighting their way through Rapture in an attempt to escape, going to places from the games, and culminating with Lucy and Kouta battling Kakuzawa, who has turned himself into a Diclonius.

It’s a basic enough storyline, but the real meat of it is going to be the interactions between the characters. And bear in mind, I typed this synopsis up in like a minute and thirty seconds, so it's pretty barebones.

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-12 18:06:03 +0000 UTC]

Hmm…

I think the first thing I need clearing up on is the question of genre. I’ve been in on this with the point of view that we were doing horror/psychological as the main, of course some action on the side but largely atmosphere and derailing characters. I guess we figure that out before anything else.

With the horror element still in mind though – hell, even without it, I think it would be better to have our main cast fragmented – separated in simpler terms. For length’s sake (I sort of envisioned this as being a fairly long work), we could have the main cast’s first priority being to regroup and then escape, them haphazardly discovering the workings of this underwater world in the process. Plus, division breeds confusion and fear, we’ll get a chance to explore how each persona is left to their own devices.

As to how we go about separation (provided you’re not utterly against the idea), divide the survivors into two groups: one that investigates the lighthouse and another perhaps trapped in the sunken ship (ala The Poseidon Adventure). Maybe even a third group taken hostage directly by Rapture’s ever-eager-to-recycle residents.

I think the whole “Open War: Rapture vs. Intruders” angle, regardless if we’re going for atmospheric horror or action-packed world of awesome, is a mistake. Plain and simple. Bioshock, from what I can glean off the fans, is not Modern Warfare, I think we have a bit more tact than just opening some sort of underwater Thunderdome. Not to mention… I can’t honestly buy Kakuzawa rounding up even a small militia of Splicers, let alone an army. Whatever brief experience I’ve had with gameplay from the first game portrayed them as pretty animalistic and uncontrollable; if anything the survivors should come upon a confrontation between a good sized group of the deranged beings being routed by a Big Daddy(maybe even a particular one with a horn-headed daughter wink-wink).

And, again, I cannot stress enough the fact that Kakuzawa shouldn’t just throw himself into the spotlight. Bad “Big Bad” conduct all around. Shit, throughout the anime the main cast had no knowledge of his existence and he only appeared before Kaede in one of the last two volumes of the manga.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-12 19:28:05 +0000 UTC]

I understand where you're coming from, and I agree that our characters should be separated at some point. It'll lead into the atmospheric horror, which is Bioshock's strong point. So yeah, perhaps when Kurama attacks them, the group gets separated. Bioshock the game is basically psychological horror in action game form. I have no idea how they managed to pull such a thing off, but they did.

As for the splicer army, I think I should have explained it better. I understand that it wouldn't make scence to someone who hasn't played the game. The army of Splicers is not only plausible, it's actually PART of the game. In both Bioshock games, which I've played, the main villains actively controlled armies of splicers using pheremones. They are, indeed, animalistic and uncontrollable, but the Big Bad is still controlling them to a degree. Basically, Kakuzawa watches the good guys on one of the many cameras scattered throughout Rapture. He sees them enter, say, Pauper's Drop, and he pumps a bunch of pheremones into the area. Within seconds, the Splicers are on the heroes like bullies on a poor, defenseless puppy. By the way, I'm not making this up. This is how both of the villains in the actual Bioshock games behave. Kakuzawa does not exactly brainwash them; he uses the pheromones to target their suicidal aggression at whatever he needs destroyed.

In other words, the "Open War: Rapture vs. Intruders" angle is not simply part of the game, it IS the game. It's pretty much what Bioshock is about!

In regards to your comment about the Big Daddy and a Diclonius little sister, I have a proposition. I simply cannot see Mariko being escorted around by a Big Daddy, because...well...does she really NEED one? She's perfectly capable of defending herself from the splicers, and Kurama's presence in Rapture grants Kakuzawa a means to control her. Perhaps, however, there are Diclonian Little Sisters created from the specimens in the facility. These ones are brainwashed and helpless, because unlike Mariko, Kakuzawa has no other means to control them. Thus, they have Big Daddies for the good guys to fight. So while the other Little Sisters are basically like the ones people encounter in the games, Mariko could be called an Elite Sister; a prototype, if you will. It's just an idea.

Here's a question I've got on my end. When does this take place? Is it an AU?

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-12 21:11:44 +0000 UTC]

Psychological horror action eh? Here's to hoping we pull it off just as well.

Ah, I see. So, rather than take this like Silent Hill, I should be taking it like FEAR. I'll have to take a page out of my comrade's book and write this one with cruelty in mind above all else... I'm just gonna hurt people when things get right down to it.

I was thinking more a Mariko clone. I guess to answer your question about when this takes place, it would be after Mariko's death in the manga. At any rate, I was thinking Kurama comes across one in its "docile" state and takes that with him. The clone has vecotrs but unless there's actual peril it doesn't use them. With Kurama being a Big Daddy (if we're still going with that), there's little sense of danger for the child. Twould be great because then after Kurama's death, this long struggle against this iron-cast juggernaut, suddenly the Mariko clone goes berserk. No rest for the wicked.

Speaking of Big Daddies... we need one modified to act like the vector craft from the manga. It could cancel out vectors, couldn't it? If not, no matter, but I want one Daddy to have like a beacon that muddles brain activity, thus canceling out vecotrs.

Be cool if we could throw in a few nods to the newest Bioshock game. Plans for a floating fortress and whatnot.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-12 22:42:46 +0000 UTC]

Yep. Hurting people is the name of the game in Elfen Lied, isn't it?

Alright, first of all, I only skimmed over the manga, and I watched the anime all the way through like twice. Overall, I'm more familiar with the anime then I am the manga. As such, my original Kurama Big Daddy idea was that he was going to be horribly injured in one of the fights against the good guys halfway through the story, and then turned into a Big Daddy in order to save his life. Before that, however, he was going to face them a few times in his human form, as an incredibly skilled user of Plasmids. As for Mariko's role in the story, I was going to have her have been brought back to life using a Vita-Chamber. In other words, the original, with all her memories, and a burning hatred of Nana.

As for the idea of Mariko going berserk upon Kurama's death, I actually thought of a variation of that. Mariko, as a Little Sister, is invincible. The slug in her body heals her wounds instantaniously. But during the inevitable tag team fight with her and Kurama in Big Daddy form against the heroes, Lucy 'harvests' her: tearing the slug out of her body and killing her, causing Kurama to go berserk.

Now, the Big Daddies you were talking about, the ones that you said would be modified to nullify vectors? That's actually a pretty good idea. It would balance out the Diclonius's incredible power. In fact, we need to add a few things that would balance out the vectors. My original idea is that vectors conduct electricity, so Electro-Bolt is a good plasmid to use against them.

All in all, I'm probably going to have to read the manga more. This is the reason I asked about if you're planning on making it AU or not. I know about the Mariko Clones, and the vector crafts, and the Unknown Man (Gaahh...we're not gonna put HIM in, are we?), but for now, most of the ideas I'm coming up with stem primarily from my experience watching the Anime, like Kurama and Mariko dying in an explosion. Also, the Manga got everything set and done, whereas the Anime left on a cliffhanger, meaning pretty much ANYTHING can happen from that point. I mean, what with Kakuzawa turning himself into a monster and inevitably being killed by the good guys means its pretty much going to HAVE to be either AU or after the Anime. But I don't know, maybe you have something planned that I'm not thinking of. Maybe you could fill me in?

Finally, I don't think EITHER of us know enough about Bioshock Infinite to put much in the story about it.

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-13 00:40:07 +0000 UTC]

I like much more how Mariko was portrayed in the manga because it was such a whiplash from what they did in the anime. In the manga version of the Mariko fight, they really played Lucy up as the villian protagonist because she was the Big Bad of that sequence: her goal was to kill Kurama, every other character's goal was to stop her. You had to love Mariko in that scene not because she was this broken little girl but because she pulled a full one-eighty and came off as probably the greatest hero figure I've ever seen in a manga. Made her daddy proud.

And then when she died, Kurama just lost it... beyond all reason. Pretty sure he hid out in a shack on the beach with his daughter's body for a month or so.

And then Bandou takes him in; that's where they build up this sense of loyalty the merc has to Kurama. Really, that one area, the fight and a bit into the aftermath, will probably be the single heaviest base from the original series I'll use. I have to go back and read just that part myself so I can have it fresh.

No, we don't really need the Unknown Man because we already have Sunny.

As to the manga's ending... fuck it. We're fanfic writers, taking liberties is our sacred right. So yeah, definitely AU to definitively answer your question. The only parts of manga canon I want are the Mariko fight and the immediate aftermath, anything else that won't contradict that particular event is completely up for negotiation.

Oh, and not so much incorporate Infinite into our plot as some core aspect but rather just a minor shout out, like how in Toy Story 2 you can see plush versions of the characters from A Bug's Life.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-13 01:33:21 +0000 UTC]

Alright.

Like I said before, I've hardly read anything in the manga. The most I've read is comparing choice scenes between the two medias (like the rain scene at the shrine...), and I haven't gotten to the fight against Mariko. Therefore, the real weight of that scene is lost on me. If you tell me what chapter it is, though, I'll take a look at it; you've piqued my interest.

The reason I want to use the Anime version is that my original storyboard involved having Kakuzawa use a Vita-Chamber to ressurect both Mariko and Kurama. One of the reasons is that it would get them both down in Rapture without much of a struggle. Secondly, if it were the real Mariko, we could work a vendetta against Nana into the story. Also, if one of the characters chucks an exploding barrel at Kurama, he could have the opportunity to catch it with Telekinesis and say something along the lines of 'once is quite enough'. But that's just my opinion, coming from my personal experiences in the Elfen Lied franchise.

I also thought about the shout out to Infinite idea. Maybe this could work: Yuka is shifting through some old newspaper clippings in Ryan's old office, one of the headlines being "COLUMBIA PROJECT DEEMED FAILURE", or something along those lines.

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-13 18:42:54 +0000 UTC]

I myself will have to go back and read, probably from that part until the end because that's where the series really deviates from the manga.

Personally, I'd like the use the manga depiction of Mariko and Kurama for the opposite reason, to create struggle. I think it would be great to have Kurama come down there of his own volition, carrying his lifeless doll of a daughter (or whatever was left of her, it may have been only the head for all I can remember) and demanding Kakuzawa's aid, saying the man "owed" him or something. Then the weight of him being turned into this silent sentinel for this bastard reincarnation of his daughter takes on an entirely different kind of weight. Now that I think about it... we could include some small notations from Kurama when he first infiltrated the facility, his written experiences guiding the main cast. Sort of have his situation parody that of the first protagonist in Bioshock.

Because I'm still thinking in manga terms, I get an opposite feel for how Mariko and Nana would interact seeing as they fodpretty common ground when Kurama showed up and worked together to fight off Lucy. So it would be interesting for Nana, suddenly seeing her "sister" again, rushing to embrace her only to be intercepted by a shell of her former "Papa" and the little Mariko... thing, for lack of a better description of just what she'd be at this point, utterly lost.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-13 22:27:42 +0000 UTC]

This...could be a bit of a problem. The two of us have TOTALLY different ideas of how Kurama and Mariko could enter Rapture, and the role they would have...

The idea you had for Kurama leaving notations is great. In fact, I sent you an example of an Audio Diary. It was left by Kakuzawa, but it was written in regards to how he was planning to control Kurama. Here is the entirity of what I had planned for Mariko and Kurama:

Kakuzawa would ressurect Mariko with a Vita-Chamber, brainwashing her and turning her into a Little Sister, bonding her to a Big Daddy. Then he revives Kurama, giving him an ultimatum: swear loyalty to him, and he will release Mariko from the brainwashing. He agrees.

As I mentioned on Fanfiction.Net, I have a hard time seeing Kurama as a Big Daddy right off the bat. He seems, to me at least, like a 'mage'. I can picture Kurama as the kind of guy who would cast spells in a fantasy game, rather than use brute force. I dunno, I think it's the glasses... Anyhow, what I originally though was that he could fight them a few times as himself, and then after he gets wounded by one of the characters, he turns into a special kind of Big Daddy called an Alpha Series, which gains all the power of a Big Daddy's physical abilities, but also keeps its mind, its ability to speak, and can continue to wield plasmids.

Above all, I DO NOT WANT Kurama to lose his personality and become a mindless Big Daddy. His character is too dynamic to sacrifice. If you really, really want, we can use your idea for the Mariko clone rather than the original, and the method for how Kurama gets down to Rapture, but I'm going to have to insist that he retain his human form throughout most of the story, becoming a Daddy for his final fight against the heroes.

By the way, how would Kurama know where Rapture is?

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-14 02:31:18 +0000 UTC]

No problem, controversy and compromise are key elements to a co-op fic. We just have to meet in the middle.

Alright, so Kurama...
How does he find his way to Rapture?
Well, for a while at least, Kurama's been Kakuzawa's right-hand man. Forcibly of course and I'd imagine being in such a position under unfavorable terms like that makes him rather untrusting of his boss. So he does what any distant number 2 would: he snoops and that's where he discovers plans for "settling" the underwater metropolis. I mean, realistically, I'd imagine a lot of fore-planning would go into such a move and operation and Kakuzawa would have to have documents of it. Kurama being able to get into them could either be a testament to his canon brilliance or something we, as the authors, throw in to kind of... beef him up a bit.

I see and rspect your concern for Kurama's character. I do still want to work with him being somewhat... deranged, for lack of a kinder word, so maybe we could have him slip in and out of moments of that. Like, take this for example:

Let's say the main cast meets with him in an abandoned classroom (or whatever) and they find him cooing to this decayed skull with a noticable set of horns. Have some one like Nana or Bandou, someone close to Kurama, recognize and try to converse with him only for the pouy to freak out for a brief instant. Then he gets a spark of familiarity:
"You," he rasped, voice slow and clear, "If I deliver you... to him... then he will help me."
BAM, we have a fight sequence. One of many, I'm sure.

The thing about that particular portrayal of Kurama: he'd basically be, for a while at least (he'll sober-up as time goes on), the anarchist figure. I mean... he wouldn't really fit in with either the heroes or the villians, he'd be concerned only with this one goal of getting his daughter back. The heroes can't trust him because his present state regards them only as tools and Kakuzawa want's him disposed of because he's a liability and a deserter if not an outright traitor.
But then maybe, once the man is standing in his office, Kakuzawa is still flat-out infuriated but at the same time realizes the applications of having such a determined soul on his side and seeks to achieve both a kind of revenge and a strong guard in making him a Daddy.

Maybe the scene could start with Kurama, now standing in the director's office, glaring daggers at Kakuzawa and shouting, "You and your sick obsession... you took everything from me!" To this, the Director merely smiles and says, "But look, look at what I can give you. All that you lost... and so much more," and then have a trio of Mariko clones step out. Shocked by the reveal, he slowly embraces one, tears of unbridled joy racing down his face, declaring over and over, "Daddy's here, daddy's going to take such good care of you," only for the thing he's embracing to sneak a vector through his skull and knock him out. Something like that towards the rear of the story.

I was thinking the entire time that Kurama's Big Daddy state would be reminiscent to that of the protagonist in the second Bioshock so I have no problem with him keeping his plasmids and ability to talk. I'd like him to be a bit more single-minded, I doubt the Director wants him thinking too much with what happened the first time, but the overall idea is pretty much what I've always had in mind.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-14 10:51:28 +0000 UTC]

Well, I did say "Alpha Series", so yeah, Kurama is gonna be like the protagonist in the second game.

Now I understand how Kurama's going to get into Rapture; thanks for clearing that up.

And yeah, Kurama's going to be absolutely UNHINGED by the time he faces the good guys for the final time.

Alright, I think Kurama's been taken care of. Here's the next thing in our way: the formation of the group once they get separated. My idea is that the team would be separated into Nana and Lucy, Kouta and Yuka, and then Bando, Mayu, and Nozomi (Poor bastard).

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-14 14:32:19 +0000 UTC]

Before I even begin, I must highly recommend the artist Susumu Hirasawa. He's the guy who did the opening to Paranioa Agent as well as the score from the movie Paprika. Lookim up on youtube, specifically his song Meditational Field, it'll take you for a trip.

I actually thought I would make it so that when Kurama first heads for Rapture (either under his own power or stowing away aboard of the Director's vessels) he brings Bandou along, asking the reluctant mercenary as a personal favor, and they get separated (storm, discovery by enemy crew, whatever) on the way. This of course happening some time before our story actually takes place, Bandou taking a job on a ship with the hidden motive of perhaps finding Kurama again.

As to the groups... the only thing I stress is Yuka & Lucy as a group, as in they wake up from the crash and it's just the two of them for a while (since I doubt they'd pair up voluntarily). We need more interaction between those two. There's a lack of closure in that relationship we ougth to explore.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-14 18:33:06 +0000 UTC]

Alright. I'll take a look at Hirasawa when I get the chance.

Bando wouldn't have already found Rapture, would he? If he did, he wouldn't really be bothered to leave. It's pretty much his dream come true! But if not, I think your idea is pretty good.

My personal reason for having Nana and Lucy paired up is their polar opposite ideals on the human race, I thought that would be a nice thing to explore. Also, Nana would be able to defend herself from Lucy, if need be, while Yuka...

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-14 20:11:42 +0000 UTC]

Very good.

No, they're stopped on the way there. While Bandou makes it back to civilization, Kurama is presumed lost at sea (though actually makes it to his destination). Bandou will also have no idea of Rapture, Kurama never explained where he was going just that he needed the ex-SAT operative's help.

I doubt Lucy will hurt Yuka, not with what the girl means to Kouta. Plus, Yuka only really knows Nyu so I doubt she'll be especially nasty to the Queen. Really though, I have to get back to writing the first chapter. 'Bout halfway through Kouta's scenario now, should be into Bandou's by the weekend. I've got a little... thing in mind for Yuka and Nyu/Lucy/Kaede. Should be fun.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-14 21:14:48 +0000 UTC]

Gotcha. Glad to hear that you're working on the senario. Can you send me what you've written so far? The only thing I've read from Kouta's POV so far is that tiny snippet you sent me as an example.

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-14 23:01:29 +0000 UTC]

Here, check this out:

For what may have been the thousandth time since as long as I can remember, I was staring out at the open blue of the sea, the never ending expanse that conquered its way across the horizon. I'd always held a fondness for the great blue, it’s why I liked our visits to Kamakura so.

But this time I was no mere spectator, bound by a narrow strip of sand. I was at the heart of the action, bouncing upon the waves with the motions of this fantastic vessel. Though I now stand palms flat and leaning out over the rails of this colossal cruise ship, eyes set on the sinking sun, I can’t begin to understand our good fortune.

Maybe this was the first sign of things finally turning themselves around…

“Suzuki-san,” drifted a ways off to my side. I turned to regard my sudden company, a familiar relaxed profile. The man in the trim mustache stood rear pressed against the iron banister, head tilted back. Pale green orbs softly surveyed the darkening clouds, his lips drawn back into a pleasant smile.

“Well, Suzuki-san, how are you enjoying the cruise?”

I flushed at the memory of my own surname and hopped into a straighter stance. “I-it’s been great, Shinbo-san!” I had collected myself enough to stop the instinctual bow, why do I keep slipping back into that student mindset?

He laughed at my awkwardness, rubbing a finger lightly across his upper lip. “My apologies, Kouta-kun, I did not intend for the air to seem so formal!” He at last turned towards me, gesturing with his hand for me to calm down. “Relax,” he drawled, “You’re on vacation, remember?”

Taking a page from Shinbo-san’s book, I copied his aloof stance and leaned back against the railing. Soon, that infectious little grin of his had found its way to my face as well. He went back to looking at the clouds but I could tell the conversation was not quite over.

“Your companions are certainly feeling the spirit.”

That they were, their antics enough to have caught his eye. I felt my smile widen at the sight of the girls, all of them, so carefree for once. A deck wide pool and swimsuits has just as positive an effect on women as it does on men.

Wanta’s barks hardly seemed to faze Nozomi who sat, quite contently, in a fold-out beach chair, the white terror perched upon her lap. The tiny earplugs were hardly noticeable, the way she bopped her head quite animatedly… not so much. A warm smile and a slow wave was more than enough to temper Wanta, courtesy Mayu in a dark blue one-piece. Still difficult to fathom how someone with such a reserved personality had a natural talent for the high dive of all things. She was beat red having all those kids chanting her name from below.

And then Nana stepped in, dressed identically to her brunette sibling/rival and issuing a call of challenge… from the low dive. The little horned girl seemed to have a thing with heights. And popularity it seemed, being ignored by such “traitorous” (her words) fans easily robbed her of focus… and footing; she toppled into the pool with the grace of a wooden puppet.

I bit back laughter; Shinbo-san threw back his head and howled outright.

“Go for it Mayu! Show em’ the Jack-knife!”

When Yuka had been deemed family coach escaped me completely. She’s probably always been that way what with how oblivious I can be. Guess that explains my numerous black and blue occasions, Yuka hits harder than any man and most motor vehicles now that I think about it.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-14 23:20:40 +0000 UTC]

Cool! Can't wait to see more. I do have a few questions, though: who's Shinbo? An OC?

Also, I'm not sure that dogs are allowed on cruise ships: I'm going to have to look that up.

Third, perhaps we should consiter continuing this conversation using fanfiction.net's PM system, simply because talking about the story out in the open could give things away to potential readers.

Finally, I've got a little snippit we can use in Nyu's introduction, after she...ahem...greets that one lady:

I flinched, watching Yuka drag Nyu away from the woman, who was red as a beet and screaming something about eating Nyu's heart in front of her. Though Nyu's antics never failed to amuse, I hoped that things wouldn't get out of hand. Nyu had managed to aquant herself with the security crew not even twenty minutes after we arrived on board, so we already had a strike against us. Now granted, we probably could have explained the idea of swimming to her better, and made sure to differentiate it from the idea of bathing...

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-09-15 02:53:12 +0000 UTC]

First: Yes, Shinbo is an OC and actually the "host" of the cruise; he personally went to congradulate all the winning contestants so everyone aboard knows him. Actually took his name from a character in Chobits.

Side note: Kouta's (and by relation Yuka's) last name comes from his voice actor.

Second: No fictional realm gets everything precisely right. There is such a thing as suspension of disbelief so the audience is just gonna have to suck it up. Shit, if people thought rationally while watching a zombie movie, we'd all call Romero a faggot and hang him.

In short, I want that dog! Screw the rules!

Third: ... yeah, let's do that.

Finally: that was brilliant and hilarious. It shall be put to use.

See you on FF; I actually get alerted when I recieve a message there.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-10 14:48:29 +0000 UTC]

Alright. I'll type up the synopsis.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-09-09 22:25:14 +0000 UTC]

Alright. I'll send you some emails, as what I'll send you might be too big for a deviantart comment.

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BlackNhite In reply to krimzonforce [2010-08-11 20:51:42 +0000 UTC]

Yes.
Metal. Gear. Solid.

When my friend left for Iraq, he left me his PS3 and... well, gaming is a hard habit to kick.
Old Snake's toned ass in your face doesn't make it any easier.

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krimzonforce In reply to BlackNhite [2010-08-11 20:57:40 +0000 UTC]

Oh, yeah. Gaming. I know how you feel (CoughOblivionCough).

Still, let's keep our eye on the prize. I'm REALLY looking forward to the first chapter.

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