RadRapo In reply to Peachypinkmas1995 [2020-11-08 03:54:32 +0000 UTC]

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RadRapo In reply to TheRandomStranger123 [2020-05-02 03:44:26 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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TheRandomStranger123 In reply to RadRapo [2020-05-02 13:40:21 +0000 UTC]

np!!!!!

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RadRapo In reply to MrCrazyInstinct [2020-05-01 20:12:09 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, dude!

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RadRapo In reply to MostIrrational [2020-05-01 20:12:15 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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RadRapo In reply to torteraex [2020-02-06 23:28:47 +0000 UTC]

Oh, yes! I am the author of Finds The Recalled, thank you very much, for reading! Oh, that's fine if you don't have an account! I have guest reviews enabled, so if you want to leave one, feel free!

Ah, much appreciated! The ending, with the confrontations of Raymond? Yes, I do hear you there - Truthfully, there were so many characters that I wanted to write out fighting Raymond, that perhaps it was too many. I hope that next time I can better sort out events like that so that they're more condensed, so I'm glad to hear criticisms about it. (If I am incorrect, feel free to clarify!)

Thank you again!

(Holy shit I have edited this reply so many times you would not believe. After writing about looping sentences for 26 chapters and five months straight, it's rubbed off on me more than it ever has before. GOOD LORD. )

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torteraex In reply to RadRapo [2020-02-07 02:02:49 +0000 UTC]

Ah, must have missed the option to then! Though I think I'll focus my feedback here since a thread's already started-though if you really want me to I can repost this as a guest review there. Hope you don't mind if it's dense:

Yeah! If I recall, I began to get bored in the latter half of the warehouse bit- the original characters were charming but began to muddle story's focus. That and I feel it could have ended when they were set free, rather than introducing yet another conflict in Raymond. You did forshadow him well but I couldn't help being dissapointed the final feat was a stereotypical super villain instead of societal standards being the evil, driving normally good characters-Lammond and all-to do horrible things. It almost felt like a big ol superhero fight? Lots of drama without adding to the story. The extra chapters do give resolution to said original characters, but I feel the ending would be cleaner if, for example, the gang were driven back home and heard about the Marigolds' success through an advertisement.
It didn't make much sense to me that the fan would come back with her companions conveniently enough just to rescue Lampy- she didn't know if he'd have even survived the experience. It was already a suspension of disbelief that the four would go look for Lampy without their absence noticed by Chris, having been gone for a couple days.
A smaller comment, but I also found the main 5's arguments increasingly out of character as the story went on. Toaster and Kirby's conflict in particular seemed out of place, something that could have happened previous to the first movie, perhaps. But after growing through the trilogy I was confused they could still be so shortsighted and easily frustrated. 

HOWEVER, let me sing praise as well:
- I LOVE how you handled Blanket, he'd totally be saged out after everything from the movies and I'll forever headcanon him as the resolution-seeker
- The original characters are charismatic and surprisingly easy to bond with. Most seem to have a narrative purpose and feel much more potent than regular OC-meets-canon cameos
- What a neat concept for a sequel? It's a great exploration into the positive side of part repair shops (unlike St. Peters' place) while adding much needed depth to Lampy's personality. Recalled production lines are a very real issue that appliances would have to worry about.
- The locations are wonderfully developed, whether it be the organization of Luxley's or the warehouse or the game night at home
- Radio's struggles with being crushed on are hilarious
- The communication-via frequency of household appliances is super neat! Is it possibly inspired by the "electrinese" or whatever it's called mentioned in the Goes To Mars book? 

Side inquiry: was Rob talking to Lampy fantasy or was he actually talking to him? I was more confused about this when Rob(or was it Robby?) knew the appliances would save the day and dropped them off later on. Either way, I'd love to see the idea explored. What if Lampy revealed himself? Or the others did? How would Rob react and how long would the secret last? If you haven't thought about it, I'd love to see your interpretation of the scenario played out- even through a short story or one-shot.

And AHJHAFSDJ that's hilarious omg, but I appreciate your time to reply back! I've apparently rambled on as well. But hey, the fic inspired me enough to say this much!

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RadRapo In reply to torteraex [2020-02-07 04:25:20 +0000 UTC]

Okay, that's perfectly fine! Do as you please, really.

- Ohhhh, yes, I understand completely what you mean by the Raymond plotpoint. I can see why it'd seem better to note further on societal standards and not having any true enemy (as in TBLT1). With the direction I was going, it would've felt off, however, to have an ending after the Marigolds "come home". Office appliances already thought they were a danger, so how could they just... Let that be? Perhaps then, the change of heart could still occur, only without the added twists... Then again, would it seem a little too safe? I will think about these things next time!
- Ah, yes. I debated on bringing the Repairees back. The only reason I did was for the idea that "then why have them there, if they won't serve any other purpose?" And at the same time, it'd be unrealistic for there to be no other repairees at all, hm... Maybe one-note characters are okay to use after all. I will work on this portion in the future, too!
- Ahhh, this one. This one. I can see why you would think that all is well amongst them, based on the sequels. One of the many problems I had with those, was that they seemed to get along "too well", and that they seemed too... Flawless? Any kind of disagreement just felt really muted and unexplored, so I wanted to bring both back - their differences in perspective, and their flaws. It's not to say they can't overcome either, of course! Anyway, I will work on this aspect as well. Thank you for making note of it!

- Absolutely! Blanky has gone through a lot of growth, whilst still retaining his sensitivity and empathy to others. He could read how you feel and catch any sort of emotional lie! The difference, to me, is huge - way back in TBLT1, he was afraid to leave on this dangerous journey but did anyway, and here... He's ready!
- Oh, thanks! I'm glad to have been able to accomplish that (mostly, at least), considering the large amount of them!
- Indeed, and to think, this all started from a silly idea where the gang look for Lampy in a warehouse full of Lampy lookalikes! I'm thrilled that it got to grow into this kind of thing, in the end. As for the bit about adding depth to Lampy, aw, that's kind of you to say! 
- Part of me hoped they were built up well enough, so that's an added relief, in my mind.
- It runs in the model, I suppose. ; )
- Yes, that's correct! Electronese was a huge inspiration for it!

- Rob would've probably had this tendency to say stuff to his appliances when alone, so it's not too out of the ordinary. However, the comments of "it's okay to come out to say hi" was all in Lampy's dream, driven by the just-a-bit-ago anxiety that he may've been caught. You know how sometimes we dream about something that's almost exactly like what's actually happening? It was one of those. (Also, I HC that Lampy dozes off in car rides, ha ha)
- Robbie is an odd case. It's like a belief to humor the belief, that "hey maybe they'll know what to do haha" but not really thinking so. Though, then he saw what he saw... He won't out them, though. It's for their sake.
- As for wondering what it might be like, if they revealed themselves to him or Rob... I have thought about that, but on a grander scale. Why only the Five? Why not change life as we know it? Something like that. I'm unfortunately all about these kind of "change of era" ideas. I'm not sure where I would go as far, if it stayed at a small scale. Perhaps I'll be able to write all about that someday! (With all of these criticisms kept in mind, especially!)

So, thank you again, so much, for the feedback! I can't stop saying it, but it truly means a lot to me to hear about it. Hopefully next time, I'll have improved upon this one!  

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torteraex In reply to RadRapo [2020-02-08 14:37:35 +0000 UTC]

Honestly it's an honour you're open to my criticism!! Really glad that it's of any help, and it's refreshing to meet somebody so open to it, even after the conclusion of the fic! I definitely plan on reading more from you!- In fact, do you have any recommendations? Toaster-fic wise anyway

I don't have too much to comment, you've summed up the intent of each point wonderfully!! The takes below can go with a grain of salt, as they involve alternate endings that would completely alter the canon fic.

- True, they would be unsure of the Marigolds' safety. It's a stretch, but perhaps Lammond and the others could be higher in command in an alternative conclusion, and when returning to Luxleys have the seniority to convince the others of the marigolds' innocence. They could assure Toaster and co. the marigolds will be in safe hands and drive them home without returning to Luxleys. OR, to keep that nice moment with Lammond and the security footage, they could have returned to Luxleys and waited for Rob to pick up Lampy, hitching a ride in the hood before he drives off. Not to say you should rewrite anything, but these endings skirting the whole Raymond fight would have been more satisfying, in my tastes at least. I understand though your intentions were to end with Raymond, so these conclusions would be dissonant from the foreshadowing you established.

- I can see the urge to reintroduce the fan because of that! As you mentioned, one-off characters can be utilized well. The parts shop and cutting edge appliances are great canon examples of one-offs. As for the repairees, they were very relevant before Lampy was taken as they established the procedures repairees go through. With the big fight, characters already there could have taken care of the situation without the repairees' sudden, convenient arrival, plus there would be less characters to confuse the focus. It would leave a bit of mystery as to how the fan was treated and where she ended up, which could prompt her an individual side story if the repairees still needed resolution.

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RadRapo In reply to torteraex [2020-02-08 23:57:19 +0000 UTC]

Hey, good criticism can be very helpful, so I'm happy to receive it! Aw, thank you so much! I hope you enjoy my other works, as well!!

- It's very true, Raymond was always going to be this mysterious entity, seemingly revered in the past, only to turn out terrible in the end; being so corrupted by his own bias that he'd be the true puller of strings, leaving all his successors as figureheads. I suppose that in one version, PC was just PC, and Raymond was really just an outmoded perspective. I do definitely see one where they still see the truth for themselves, managing to convince Solera in time.
And let's not forget Lammond's promise to take the rest of the Five home! Going home with Rob in secret might not work as well, since that'd mean the possibility of the family seeing that the appliances are missing upon returning from their trip...

- Ah, right; that does make sense. I could very well have done something like a side-story for them, if I felt the need to. And it's true what you say, there would've been less characters to take care of. Unless they did make a difference, I could've just moved on to the most essential portions. Which ones those are, are hard to say - a lot felt necessary in writing, but it's certainly understandable if a few could've been cut!

Thanks for the watch!

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RadRapo In reply to Sadovod-Ogorod [2019-09-29 09:12:27 +0000 UTC]

 

You're welcome!

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RadRapo In reply to 7ix [2019-07-30 02:08:34 +0000 UTC]

No problem! I hope things turn around for you soon!

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