Altermentality In reply to Mastermindhunter [2010-01-22 06:18:40 +0000 UTC]

Oh hey, I'm really glad I could inspire you! I moved accounts some time back, but through a freak coincidence, managed to check this one shortly after you posted on it O_o

I will check your story out tomorrow if I have the time ^_^ (I am a sucker for romance and Dekus!)

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Mastermindhunter In reply to Altermentality [2010-01-22 06:37:08 +0000 UTC]

Well it's up now, and I think you'll like it!

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fluffycatgirl In reply to Hawk-of-Rawk [2009-03-25 04:14:51 +0000 UTC]

I wouldn't have guessed

Ha, but really, thanks a lot for the attention you've given my gallery! I'm glad you like my work, and I hope my future endeavors continue to please you.

Oh, and... RAWK ON!!!

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Cheersoup In reply to fluffycatgirl [2009-12-28 19:00:37 +0000 UTC]

The world is fresh!

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fluffycatgirl In reply to Ledundead [2009-03-16 22:06:46 +0000 UTC]

Hmm, nothing in particular, just keep doing what you like

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fluffycatgirl In reply to CaptainSkellington [2009-03-25 04:22:23 +0000 UTC]

No prob! I'm actually a watcher of yours from like... way back in the day, when I was new here.

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fluffycatgirl In reply to naturalshocks [2009-03-14 16:34:13 +0000 UTC]

You're quite welcome, it was a very sweet picture!

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fluffycatgirl In reply to FleaTheMagician [2009-03-07 08:27:17 +0000 UTC]

No prob! Just spreading the Chrono Trigger love!

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Cheersoup In reply to fluffycatgirl [2009-10-10 00:35:45 +0000 UTC]

What is the Chrono Trigger Love?

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fluffycatgirl In reply to Bahmo [2009-02-25 05:00:59 +0000 UTC]

Life's had its ups and downs; I find true contentment for a moment, then am beset by stress, discontent and self-deprecation brought on by my unyielding drive of perfectionism the next.

How about you? I am sorry we haven't talked in so long; I'll have more spare time soon and am planning on making myself into a better friend here on dA and elsewhere.

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Bahmo In reply to fluffycatgirl [2009-02-25 06:15:56 +0000 UTC]

I'm not all that happy myself right now. I now am in my second quarter of university life, and it isn't the liberation that I had dreamed of, waited for, and worked hard to get. In some ways, it's almost more of a prison.

I dreamed of going where I could find others to whom I could relate, actual social opportunities, and fulfillment of my dreams about what sort of adult I wanted to be.

Unfortunately, maybe it's just that I chose the wrong campus, but not many of my endeavors have seemed to advance. Simply-put, almost all problems I'm suffering stem from the workload. It's not that I don't enjoy reading (which is what most university homework is) and learning. I do; most of what I know, I know because of my obsession with accumulating knowledge on subjects of interest, and with some obnoxious exceptions this quarter, I generally enjoy what I have been assigned. However, almost my whole life has already been spent reading in my spare time for what I just saw as pleasure initially, because nobody would want to play with me. Nor do I regret the path I took, but I was always dreaming of the day I could finally move away from the childhood environment I resented so much, to go and finally achieve some of the life I had been deprived of as a child. Essentially, I knew that there would be schoolwork involved, but I did not come for that, I came for opportunities to do something I had not done already.

Instead, I find experiences to be effectively more of the same. It really is a different environment, but it doesn't matter if I'm too burdened by homework to enjoy whatever social opportunities would have existed. What is even worse is that I am not alone in my troubles, and the troubles of others have affected me.

For example, I was dreaming about having a girlfriend for the first time in my life, and I (perhaps naively) believed I would make such an acquaintance in the first few days that I lived on campus. Things did not end up that way. I did meet a girl who seemed to get along well with me, and so when I finally got a moment of free time to go to the zoo, I decided to ask her if she would like to go with me, as she had before told me that she loved the zoo. Then she told me she had too much homework to complete, and my annoyance at the school began to develop into a searing hatred. Later, I joined a roleplaying games club, and was having a great deal of fun with it, but then my group was unable to meet for two weeks because our leader was occupied with finals. Even when I have time, others often don't.

Then, it isn't just social opportunities that suffer. It's also the multitude of pet projects I had begun while I was in community college. I was learning to draw, learning to play guitar, and modding a PC game. These pursuits, however, take not only time, but effort as well, and unfortunately, the amount of homework assigned also takes far too much time and effort, leaving none available to continue with these interests. I still fancy myself an intellectual, or at least, a man who hopes to be one someday, but I find that my mind is more interested in being creative than it is in being industrious. The lack of time for creativity in my life has developed into such a problem that it now exacerbates itself, because I have taken to staying up late to browse DeviantArt or Google images, looking for cheap ways to satisfy my deficiency of artistic stimulation. As a result, I end up with even less time to acomplish things, not to mention sleep-deprived.

This is still better than High School, but at the moment it is worse than my experience at community college; although the environment itself is much better, I have no time to capitalize upon it fully.

Hence, my comparison of this place to a prison. I've thought about quitting, but where would I go? I don't have the money to support myself, I don't want to be a poor man working at a blue-collar job for the rest of my life, and while my time during community college was much happier, I can't go back to this because I can't move back in with my parents. We have never liked each other very much, and last Summer our relation deteriorated to its greatest low. So I seem to be stuck, much as I hate it, and worse, I cannot see it getting any better.

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fluffycatgirl In reply to Bahmo [2009-02-25 13:57:56 +0000 UTC]

Wow, that's a distressing tale. Right now, I have such dreams about college as you had. Which university do you go to again?

I'm already used to work dominating life sometimes; I'm in Academic Decathlon, which- if taken as seriously as I take it- is doubtless one of the most stressful things a high schooler can put upon herself. It's an endless well of study and obligation, and it's the reason my activity on the internet, even amongst my closest internet friends, declines sharply during this time of year; I have less time to interact with those I care about and to do the things that give me real joy- drawing, and escaping from my own mind through a good book or video game. I love AcDec, and it's been a very beneficial force in my life- not only allowing me to learn a lot and earn a load of scholarship money, but introducing me to (or strengthening my relationships with) some amazing people, as well as teaching me how to study, something I've rarely had to do otherwise (as knowledge just sticks in my head very easily).

Still, while I do consider myself an intellectual-in-training and I love knowledge itself, I do feel your pain. In my view, knowledge is a tool to help you try and understand the world and different viewpoints, so that you can synthesize it and actually DO something in the world- whether add to knowledge or help living things with what you've learned; else, what's the point of learning? Just collecting knowledge for the sake of it, and not applying it, turns one into little more than a book oneself. I'm hoping college will give me the chance to contribute to something greater than myself, which high school hasn't really given me the chance. Plus, having to give up lots of things I love for AcDec is a serious trade-off (although, were I forced in some hellish punishment to relive high school again, I definitely would choose to do AcDec again- despite its sacrifices, it's been one of the brightest spots in my time here). It distresses me, but I love it nevertheless, so I'm rather caught in a trap for a few months out of the year. Tough love.

But, I'm sure your chance will come. You're obviously serious about learning, and I'm sure you'll be able to apply it in an effective way someday, and find a niche that makes you happy.

I'm not quite sure how college all works yet, but are you taking too many classes? Is there any way you could lighten your courseload? Speaking from experience, if you're anything like me (and it seems you rather are) you have to make time for creative pursuits
or you'll go crazy.

It strikes me as odd, because you always hear about college being PARTY PARTY PARTY- if you're a slacker, but with even those who take it seriously being able to have a good time. Do you go to a college known for its intensity of workload?

Anyway, I've gotta get going right now, to high school myself...

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Bahmo In reply to fluffycatgirl [2009-02-25 20:37:53 +0000 UTC]

Which university do you go to again?

Uncool Socially Dead. (UCSD) The first part is an exageration, as some things really are cool about this place. It's very clean, devoted to self-sufficiency, and obsessed with recycling to the point of being somewhat annoying, but not nearly so annoying as seeing the eyesore of trash everywhere.

The second part is something that didn't start with me, really, but I honestly think I'm the one that's socially-dead. The school does have a good deal of socializing, but it seems geared towards people who already are socially adept, and don't care what they do, so long as they do it with other people. I require a much different sort of socializing.

I'm not quite sure how college all works yet, but are you taking too many classes? Is there any way you could lighten your courseload?

Financially-speaking, no. There technically isn't any rule that I take more than one class per quarter, but if I want to get on-campus housing, I'm mandated to take a minimum of 12 units. Staying at "home" and commuting isn't an option, as I have no desire to live with my parents anymore, and believe that the feeling is mutual, plus it's too far away, renting a room from which to commute isn't an option, because I haven't the money, and finally, my parents have been jerks and will not pay for me to take a lessened load.

I will always resent that. 12 units per-quarter is doable, hell, a lot more per quarter is doable, but I feel that it's most ideal for people who have had a happy life up to that point, and are now ready to make a sacrifice and exert themselves. I, on the other hand, have not been happy as a child. I retain my arguement that I deserve some compensation that allows me to finally enjoy some of the social opportunities that I was deprived of as a child, and the natural solution is to allow me more time with which to explore. So far, however, nothing has come up.

Speaking from experience, if you're anything like me (and it seems you rather are) you have to make time for creative pursuits
or you'll go crazy.

Yes, you are quite a kindred spirit and yes, I'm well aware of this need. Last quarter I got good grades but was miserable; this quarter, however, I said nuts to that, and resolved that studies would not come at the expense of enjoyment.

I still attempt to at least pass the classes, and I do have to pick and choose between different creative pursuits, but unlike last quarter, it is not as though I have gotten nothing done. I have come to be seen as a valued contributor, both in ideas and in XML programming, to an online project to mod Civilization IV into a game accurately simulating the current situation of the world. This has been a good example of what you were saying, regarding your feeling that the purpose of taking in knowledge is to make something out of it yourself. So though XML coding is a strenuous business, it really is a great feeling when another member of the mod development team sends me a message asking me if I can please hurry up and finish; finally I felt like I was somebody to somebody else. Similarly, though occasionally school takes time away from such projects, I'm still glad that I'm a Social Science Major, as knowledge of this field has proven an immense inspiration and aid to me with respect to how I approach my side of the development.

Then, there's always next quarter. My parents, though still being jerks with regard to not letting me take a lighter load, have at least laid off of insisting upon which classes I take, so next quarter I'm signed up (well, waitlisted), for a writing class. Perhaps that will provide the creative stimulation I need. Later on, this Summer, I'll probably go abroad for a Summer seminar, perhaps even two. Yes, it is more schooling, but the alternative, going back to my parents and carrying out obnoxious yardwork, is still worse, and a trip to Europe is worth it, as that's something I have wanted all my life. (Although moving to Europe is a bigger dream, still.)

It strikes me as odd, because you always hear about college being PARTY PARTY PARTY- if you're a slacker, but with even those who take it seriously being able to have a good time.

Which it basically is, at least unofficially. I think for many people, that has to do with the fact that college strikes them as being the happy medium that lies after one escapes the restrictions and taboos of childhood, yet before he or she inherits the burdens and responsibilities of adulthood.

So yes, even here, such things are manifest. Perhaps I would notice them even more if I lived in a fraternity as opposed to a small, communal apartment, but still, there are shenannigans. What seems like at least once a week, and often in the middle of the night I hear one of my housemates charging up the stairs to our communal bathroom, and vommiting up whatever he drank earlier. Less frequently, a guy who is maybe the same one and maybe not, hogs up the bathroom by "bathing" together with his girlfriend. There was even one time at the stroke of midnight on finals week, in which nearly the whole student population simultaneously stripped down to their underwear and cavorted about the campus. For my own part, I suppose I am one of the increasingly rare "straight men" to all this, but I do confess to occasionally using the money that my parents provided, intended for necessessities, in order to buy beer.

However, the campus annoys me not so much because it isn't social, but because I'm not. I do not mind interacting with others, but it must be over a mutual interest, not a big, dumb party. I usually loathe parties. I have no intention of celibacy, but I refuse to pursue any intimate relationship with anyone whom I could not love in a Platonic sense, first. (Needless to say, I have not met many people of whom I can truly say that; there was one girl I think I truly loved, but sadly, she died.) "Social," for me, means more along the lines of clubs, not parties.

Do you go to a college known for its intensity of workload?

Yes, and unfortunately I chose it willingly. It had come down to being this vs. UC Santa Cruz, with this being known as the more intellectual campus, and Santa Cruz being the more social one. I may have been naive when I chose San Diego, but I interpreted "social" as just meaning the sorts of dumb parties in which I am so disinterested, wheras "intellectual" seemed to imply not only studies for the courses themselves, but plenty of intellectually-stimulating activities offered on the side. In retrospect, I find that I was quite wrong about what sort of "intellectual" UCSD was. Was I wrong about what sort of "social" UCSC was, too? Perhaps, so I've considered switching, but I need proof. My reaction to what I saw of Santa Cruz upon visiting it was that it was an amusing, yet petty, community of stoners. My brother now attends that school and I truly believe it is right for people of his persuasion, but I remain skeptical.

Now, I must return to the source of my misery. I would, however, appreciate another reply if you have the time. Thank you for the sentiment.

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fluffycatgirl In reply to Bahmo [2009-02-26 04:25:59 +0000 UTC]

Hey, I won't be able to give you a good reply for a few days- I'm leaving for a competition tomorrow and will be gone until Sunday. I'm really in a hurry right now (no time for something really thoughtful, I'm afraid), but I just wanted to let you know so you wouldn't think I was avoiding answering.

Talk to you soon!

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Bahmo In reply to fluffycatgirl [2009-02-26 08:05:12 +0000 UTC]

I wish you luck, in that case, and appreciate that time which you could spare.

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fluffycatgirl In reply to popplenator [2009-02-08 18:20:59 +0000 UTC]

No. Once Rare joked in their letters section, in response to a question if Mr. Vile would return, that they had flushed him down Loggo, and he must be getting pretty huge by now. A lot of people took this to mean that he WOULD return, bigger and badder than ever, but I always saw it as a joke, and turns out that's what it was.

Of course, Rare seriously did confirm a couple characters who didn't end up being in the game anyway... :/

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fluffycatgirl In reply to mattdog1000000 [2009-02-01 18:14:24 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!

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fluffycatgirl In reply to popplenator [2009-01-04 02:22:57 +0000 UTC]

A belated "Thanks, and you too! "

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