missalicehxc In reply to TheBizarreBirdcage [2011-01-16 20:14:19 +0000 UTC]

o well thank you! U just made my week.

yes im going to go look at your gallery right now. haha. i love the beatles.

yes i have a blogger: [link]

i think you'll enjoy it.

do u have either of those three?

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TheBizarreBirdcage In reply to missalicehxc [2011-01-18 16:37:40 +0000 UTC]

yes i have...should we follow each other on blogger?
mine is : [link]

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missalicehxc In reply to TheBizarreBirdcage [2011-01-24 03:42:06 +0000 UTC]

im following you now, dear.
ur blog is very cute I like the photos and the story about you and your boyfriend very cute!
D


[link]
Mine.

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TheBizarreBirdcage In reply to missalicehxc [2011-03-05 18:58:05 +0000 UTC]

oh you so much it is a true story with my boyfriend

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missalicehxc In reply to Dafnib [2010-12-16 10:30:34 +0000 UTC]

Aww well thank you!!
ur just too sweet.


<3
--LA

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Dafnib In reply to missalicehxc [2010-12-16 10:40:20 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome, very welcome. And I mean it. This kinda sad feeling some of your pics have just make me wanna hold ya.
You're cute AND sexy. IMO, most girls are only either one or the other. Maybe it's just the pics, but on them you are very attractive to me.

all the best

Daf

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2010-12-16 10:32:07 +0000 UTC]

I'm sorry Timewave Nexus
I lost my password and just found it again. This place doens't seem the same without you, wish you were still a member. miss our conversations about love and loss.
i am doing great you are such a sweet person. I hope you are also doing well.

goodluck with life my friend.

--LA

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-08-05 01:16:38 +0000 UTC]

Im ok.
how are you?

--lauren alice.

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-08-05 01:19:12 +0000 UTC]

Todays good tomorrow wont be but todays good.
thanks.

how are u?

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-05 18:20:49 +0000 UTC]

Good afternoon Cameron.

O have soooo many to put up, becuase ive cut and dyed my hair, im a whole new person! But my camera cord is MIA. lol. ive already ordered another one but it wont be here till next week. :[

hahhaa. so just wait they're gonna be great!

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-06-05 18:31:01 +0000 UTC]

I honestly cant wait... and I'm not sure if a camera cord can be MIA, if there isn't a war going on lol

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-05 19:32:15 +0000 UTC]

O u don't know my room, there a colassol war going on in there!
lol.

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-06-05 19:43:56 +0000 UTC]

ok that's understandable lol mine too...

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-05 20:11:41 +0000 UTC]

Im a writer so my room is always, whats a way to say this..."in comfortable chaos".

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-06-05 20:24:46 +0000 UTC]

I like that actually

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-05 20:26:28 +0000 UTC]

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-01 03:24:05 +0000 UTC]

O! And i had a birthday! heheh. i was in the hospital but it was all good. Now im seventeen. silly how you never really fell any different.

XD

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-01 03:21:34 +0000 UTC]

it did, thank u for your concern, it means more than you could ever know.

XD

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-05-24 21:13:24 +0000 UTC]

it'll be ok after my surgery

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-05-24 21:12:57 +0000 UTC]

im doing ok, ive been in and out of hospitals thats why i havent been on. sorry how are you?

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-05-25 21:49:44 +0000 UTC]

Hospitals for what?

if you dont mind me asking, and Im good...

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-01 03:21:08 +0000 UTC]

O it was nothing big i had some problems in my lower section thought i was going to lose the ability to have children but we have great doctors down south and they fixed me up pretty well, i was sore there for a while but im so much better now. Sorry I haven't been on in a while. Im now a senior, whoot whoot! and I did the hardest thing I;ve ever done, I said good bye to Eli, he tried to draw me in again and I almost went for it but I kept you in mind and the others who know im better than him and i denied him and he didn't take it well but now he's gone, gone for good. and yes im in agony but ill be ok. how are you? whats been going on?

glad to be talking again!

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-06-01 04:47:10 +0000 UTC]

Well glad to know that your ok, I was worried there for a little bit...

Honestly me, Im not doing good at all.. me and her got in a really big fight tonight. and all of the times she just got frustrated with me, finally came out. I exploded on her and made her cry... I didn't mean to it just kind of came out.. I hate myself for it so much... I honestly could die tonight and be happy... I know thats really bad to say but its true... I feel so alone... like nothing good is ever going to happen again. I miss her so much but Im pretty sure I just ruined my chances of ever getting her back... Why did I fall so hard for her. Why did I fall for her at all, I dont understand it and never will... I just dont know how to handle all of this...

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-02 04:30:07 +0000 UTC]

now ur the one worring me.

Cameron u cant let urself be taken over by this greif. I know that im younger than you and shouldn't be the one teaching here, but ive been in your shoes, ive done all this before and ive gone as far as to kill myself, thankfully i woke up, drained and in deep trouble but i woke up. uve got to wake up before you do anything drastic, i swear its not worth it. shes not worth it. i could sit here all night and preach about how your a hundred times better than her, that ur concerning and honest and deep and lovable and kind and all those wonderful things that make up you, and that ive been showered with only in this short time of knowing you and that she had u for so long and either didnt notice this or didnt care to notice is horrible! how dare she neglect ur love. and so what if u made her cry, don't feel bad from what i can tell it was no fault of urs. that shes been pushing her limit, but breaking ur heart then coming back around to rub it in ur face. i know eli did it all the time and dammit we fall for it everytime their lies their apologies their 'this time i wont hurt you' speech. but we have to stop, u have to stop. u have to step back look at ur life and say 'this really sucks, how can i change it' and i dont have the answers for u, no one does. becuase its ur life and only u can decide where its gonna go. mine is taking a slow start into a happy ending, im alone single, young and most nights sad but i can wake up and get over it, i can look at Eli at school and pass him without a tear and i can flirt with the guy next to him becuase i want to and not becuase i want to make eli jealous. we have to realize this is our life not theirs. live for urself, darling not for her. if shes meant to be then shell find a way into ur life later, after uve forgotten her and moved on. fate has a funny way of creeping on us even when we think its forgotten us. it will be ok. it always is, not now and not soon but someday.

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-06-02 12:15:53 +0000 UTC]

Wow.. I so totally have tears in my eyes right now... thank you so much for that I you honestly just made me cry...

in a good way though... :]

your right I should just let her go

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-03 04:37:01 +0000 UTC]

Aww...i didnt mean to make u cry dear. Im glad i could help.

Yes please, i dont want to know ur suffering over her. I twould break my heart.

be strong, my friend.

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-06-03 13:10:17 +0000 UTC]

no its a good cry... believe me and im trying real hard

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-03 17:48:39 +0000 UTC]

ahaha.

good. u'll feel much better I promise.

lets change topics. Since we are on deviantart who is your favorite painter?

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-06-04 04:58:20 +0000 UTC]

Like Famous painter?

or a painter that I've just looked at?


because famous would be Michelangelo

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-05 18:17:37 +0000 UTC]

famous. And mine is Degas.

whats ur favorite music artist?

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-06-05 18:30:07 +0000 UTC]

RED... Their song Pieces makes me cry everytime...

their alternative Metal...

what about yours?

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-05 19:31:02 +0000 UTC]

I LOVE THEM! Since u told me to listen to "Shadows" I've been crazy for them. i love their 2006 album and their song Lost, the lyrics are beautiful....
"I'm lost in you everywhere I run
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new
I'm lost in you something I can't fight
I cannot escape
I can spend my life lost in you! Lost in you..."

beautiful. lol.


o uhm...i like so much music, i live my life in it. i love any type or age of rock from Queen to Flyleaf to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus to The Medic Droids. lol but also I'm a dancer so i love the classics, Tchaikovsky, Yiruma, Claude Debussy...plus so much more.

sorry i dont really have a single favorite.

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-06-05 19:40:35 +0000 UTC]

Red is My favorite. and Flyleaf is awesome.. the song "All around Me" is amazing... as for classical, I have not kept up with any artists... but the sound of the Cello and the Violin are so beautiful that Ill take any instrumental with either instrument...

the theme song to the tv Show ANGEL

that is the coolest theme in the world... plus go to youtube and type in Chrono Cross Opening theme. I think you'll like that one too..

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-06-05 19:50:19 +0000 UTC]

u should listen to "Something I Will Never Have" by Flyleaf.

I about to learn how to play the Cello!
good theme, for a good show.
u should go listen to "Beethoven Concerto # 5" and I'll get back to u with some more.

O i will. more than likely.

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-06-05 20:24:56 +0000 UTC]

I will try

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-05-16 07:26:57 +0000 UTC]

Awww!omg! i am soooo sorry, gosh iknow your so sick of those words, i wish i could say something other than im so sorry that would sum how the pity and sadness i have for you right now. BUt you urself said that when the time came you'd let go and we both agreed that that was what was healthy and for the best. I know u do, its so hard letting go, but there are soooo many brilliant and wonderful people out there for you. You'll find someone worth loving who loves you just as much as you love her, it'll take time or it will happen tomorrow. who knows, thats the mystery and thats the fun.
o i hope i helped its late and im sick so im really sure if any of this had made since thus far. Truly hope u feel better soon.
All my best wishes,
your friend

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-05-12 23:40:07 +0000 UTC]

your too sweet!
but not really...been ok...kinda depressed lately
becuase im the only girl in my group
of friends whose single right now(and has been single)
I havent had a boyfriend since Eli (a year and a half ago)
...i really havent told anyone what happened between us,
Im afraid they'll think im a whore...but i think im more
afraid that they'll be right in their accusations....the story is....
complicated. and i wonder now what the heck i was thinking. lol.
:/
that was one of those nervous laughs that dies down into a mornful sigh. i do alot of those. how about you? how are you doing?
--laurenalice.

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TimewaveNexus In reply to missalicehxc [2009-05-13 00:49:52 +0000 UTC]

I had made my decision I want to stay with her but after the fight we had, it honestly all feels different. Like we're in it cause we have too. It scares me to no end to lose her but sometimes I feel its the best for both of us. I just wonder how it went from tedious talking and nervous feelings to fighting and feeling like the world is crashing down. 2 years on October 31, 2009 and I honestly dont think we're going to make it.

Oh well i guess just love the times we are together and when we finally do break up just let her go.


I understand how that loneliness can come from and I really hope you do find a guy that will treat you right but really there aren't many of them. You'll find one just make sure you want him for the right reasons and not just cause you want a boyfriend. Those relationships never last...




Aside from me and my problems. How are you?

If it isnt too much you can tell me what happened I know you probably need to get it off your chest and I promise I wont judge you. I know to many girls that actually are whores and theres a big difference between mistakes and a whore.

Im here if you need to talk, figure I could return the favor.

only if you want to though... thanks for being there you're a big help :]

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missalicehxc In reply to TimewaveNexus [2009-05-13 05:52:28 +0000 UTC]

You phase everything perfectly. i'm glad that you two have fix things for now, loves a scary thing hun its all about fear and how to control it or get over it. i hope you two can settle these things out. aww your so close! 2 years wow!
when it truly comes to the end all you can do is let go, it's not easy but its better than holding on to an empty side of the bed, wanting her to fill it everynight.

uea being single sucks,dont take me wrong i love all of the flirting, do what ever i want get away with everything but then i also miss the warm arms around my waist, kisses on my forehead, the romantics. ya know? im too picky im sure that guy isnt out there for m,i told myself a long time ago that i might as well get use to being single it'll all i'll ever have.
ive had two boyfriends and i liked them both honestly, not just cus i was lonely or anything i dont believ ein dating just to date.
HAHA. IM GOOD.

ok. since ive never met you and probally wont ever i dont have to worry about you spreading this around my little town so heres the truth-may it shock you. lol.
Eli was my first and only love, i knew it from the momnet i saw him freshmen year
and for a year we had it down perfect, never fought always peacful love and for once i stupidly thought it was all going to work out. didnt. eli broke up with me a day before my 15th birthday. a summer went by and my freind chris confessed that he liked me i had alwas found him attractive and since i was in such agony from losing my true love i agreed to dating him. it was easy for chris to fill the emptiness of my heart, but he could never fully replace eli. a fact i should haveshared with him from the beginning. eli on the other hand dated many girls in the year and a half chris and i dated. mid-way in my junior year eli-who had called me off and on to talk as friends- calls me up and asks if id like to take a ride with him, chris was away for a band trip and i was bored so i went along, we spent four hours in an near empty parkinglot, mainly just talking nothing happened on the surface but inside of me my heart was fluttering out of conrol, eli was saying the most WONDERFUl things, words of love and of regret of thinking of me everyday just as i was of him. it was all too good to be true, and thats becuase it was. [id never noticed before, love had blinded me from his true nature but eli was the biggest player of them all, we'd been happy becuase eli got what he wanted from me, a young good looking girl friend to parade around school and at nights he got what he wanted from his second girlfriend, krystal; sex. something at that point in my life i was refusing to offer] anyways a month later chris and i had been rocky, since eli had come back into my life he was all ic ould think about and i slowly sought out how to break up with chris who had really done nothing wrong he just wasnt Eli. but then he didnt something foolish, he got down o one kneeand offered me a beautiful, white gold, pink saffphire diamond encrusted promise ring, that swore within the next year it would be replaced with an engagment ring. i was baffled , stunned and scared out of my mind, hed just ruined the plan how was i to tell him that i was leaving him now? i didnt i got scared and overwhelmed and took the ring and tried to push eli out of my mind but it didnt work i was clouded wth love for eli just as chris was clouded with love for me. he never noticed a thing. I didnt want to hurt him, part of me loved him bu the most part of me loved Eli. and he's who i chose. At a friends house a few nights later i snuck eli in, at first it was just to talk since we couldn't really at school or home. and then one thing lead to another and before i knew it he was undressing me. i didnt like it i knew i didnt like it but i knew also if i said something hed get hurt and leave and id lose him, and i never wanted to go through that pain again! but before i could make up my mind...SURPRISE!Halfthe school comes through the door, of my so-called best friend cus she was having a party that she some how forsgot to tell me. tho she knew perfectly well what we were doing. and whose all there besides the biggest mouths of the class, but four of eli's other girlfriends (yes i said 4!)So has hes putting on his shirt and i run to the bathroom and lock myself in to sheild me from everyone, they argue and eventually they all leave LAUGHING! while i cried myself to sleep in the bathtub until my mother came to get me in the morning. went to school of course Chris has heard so many stories that hes losing his mind he tells me to tell him they all are lying but i couldnt the truth was i was done with chris i HAD wanted Eli so they werent lyying about that...other things yes...but not that. So he becomes someone i never would have exspected he grabs my arm and leads me out into the middle of the band hall where 200 hundred people in the band room is watching as he yells out I fell for the whore! i was going to marry the whore! and then he breaks my finger to remove his promise ring and throws me to the groundAN after my mother takes me out of school for a week i come back and for the rest of the ear im known as the school whore, who slept with eli. the real man whore who slept with five other girls and got off it clean slate!
and still to this day has the nerve to call me or text me and tell me that im his only one that hes sorry for all the heartache hes called me BULL SHIT!(o im sorry i just...thats what i want to tell him before i hang up but i always tell him to just leave me alone. even tho he doesnt)

While i lost everything i have two friends left to my name, a ruined rep and no chance at a boyfriend for my senior year...i guess im ok with it, ive had a few months to get use to it but i didnt do anything! it was all so unfair, i was over whelmed and i would have stopped i wouldnt have let eli get his way, im really a smart girl he just has/had this power over me...and i didnt want chris to get hurt i really didnt...but i guess those are all just words now huh?
..So am I a whore or just a mistake??

WOW I CANT BELIEVE I TOLD YOU ALL OF THAT...WOW. BUT THANKS FOR LISTENING OR RATHER READING HAHAHA. wow...i just looked up im sorry u have to read all of that.

thanks again.

--laurenalice.

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