HOME | DD

Description
"Ha ha ha, okay, Tony, I guess now we know the lighter side of first degree murder."
The smiling news anchorman straightened the papers he held in his hand and swiveled in his chair to face the next camera.
"All right, now, it's time for the weather with meteorologist George Wainwright.  George?"
As the view switched to the next camera, anyone watching the local news would find themselves watching the meteorologist passionately smooching a young blonde on the set.  He looked up at the cameras with wide eyes and spoke.
"We're on?  Cameras are running?"
He pushed the girl away and took a second to straigthen his tie.
"Well, damn."
He deliberately cleared his throat and began speaking again.
"Well, Jim, we've got a high-passion system coming down here between a married man and a younger woman, so we're expecting some major storms here in the Wainwright household," he said, circling a small area on his map of the region.
"I'd imagine we're going to see some precipitation along the lines of chairs being thrown through windows and maybe even a bit of airborne silverware, but I'd imagine that'll stop when the warm airmass of my desperate, last-ditch apology pushes Mrs. Wainwright a bit further south to her sister's house.  After that, I think the weather will stabilize into some very cold and lonely days that might be broken up by some scattered alcoholic binges and perhaps the sweet, sweet embrace of self-inflicted death.  Jim?"
"Thanks, George," said the anchorman.  "Up next: is your kitten perpetrating insurance fraud without you even knowing?"