Comments: 6
RainstormPoet [2006-11-29 08:11:29 +0000 UTC]
I like the line about not being boy scouts, but rather people....I actually really like the idea of this poem, that human frailties are not as negative as others think...
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sweet-Diablo [2006-08-02 00:41:59 +0000 UTC]
I like it quite a bit, good message. It didn't flow as well as some of your other peices, but I still liked it.
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Arethoes [2006-07-20 03:35:48 +0000 UTC]
It's very good. A couple of things i am nitpicking on though. fifth stanza last two verses
They live life hoping
They live life seeking
They live life praying
They live life dwelling
They live life keeping
They live life dying
They are living dying
the last two verses didn't seem to flow like the others did. i think it is because you use dying in both of them. instead of dying in the second to last verse use somethign like withering or fading or somethign like that.
Other than that i really enjoyed this poem. It speaks out and has emotion to it. If a sad feeling. Nicely written good job.
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Andilwen-Illiana In reply to AuthenticLogic [2006-07-22 14:57:10 +0000 UTC]
It's just...different from a lot of stuff you see on here. But anyway, I really like some of the imagery and line structure, particularly near the beginning. I think the poem could really use some more punctuation, though, to give people an idea of how it's supposed to flow. I had some trouble with that. And there's some repetition of images, too.
I like it, though.
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