HOME | DD

CantTakeU — Goten and Trunks prt 1:Truth

Published: 2006-07-05 15:55:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 8076; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 43
Redirect to original
Description "Why do you always do this to me Trunks," says Goten screaming at the top of his lungs.
"Well Goten its 'cause I’m older than you and I’m always right, you have to understand that I’m fourteen and your still only thirteen,” says Trunks with a cocky attitude.
"It still doesn't matter when were playing a game and then you just take it upon yourself to change the rules, I may still only be thirteen, but I'm not stupid ya know."
Now the two have begun getting older they have been having these little spats about every little thing that they have a disagreement about, and as we know when two sayjinns start fighting, they fight until there point is loud and clear.
"Well Goten, if you feel that way about me then why do you even still talk to me, if you don't like me as a friend any more why are you still here."
Goten just stands there why’ll listening to the words coming out of Trunks mouth and after he is done he drops a tear to the ground and with a lower, sadder, and unangrey voice,” Well Trunks, if you want me to go away, I guess that your gonna get your wish," the moment the finishes his last syllable he flies off in the distance towards his house.
"Goten wait," says Trunks turning around to late to see that he is gone, "Oh great what have I done now, I've got to go talk to him," Trunks sighs and flies after Goten towards his house.

A few moments later Trunks lands outside of Goten's house and walks up to the door, before knocking he says to him self,” well it's now or never," with that said Trunks walks the rest of the distance to the door and knocks three times and waits for an answer.
The door opens and Gokuh is at the door, "Hi Trunks, did something happen? Goten came home pretty upset."
"Ohh, he did, well don't worry I'll handle it," in a nervous voice he says," is he in his room then?"
Gokuh senses that there is something wrong and something has just happened between them so Gokuh answers.” Yes he is in his room, just knock and tell him that it's you, come and get me if there are any problems."
Trunks nods and walks over to Goten's room and knocks twice, there is no answer so he knocks again three times, "Goten its Trunks we have to talk, please let me in."
Goten responds,” Trunks why are you even here, you told me that you don't want to be around you, you told me that I was just a nascence."
Trunks, a little aggravated that he is talking to Goten from outside a door says, “Goten you have to let me in, I really need to talk to you."
"Fine Trunks come in, it's open anyway."

Trunks walks in and sees Goten sitting in a ball facing away from the door and he is sniffling as if he was just crying, Trunks sits down and the bed and begins talking to him," I really think I need to tell you how I really fe--," was all that he could get out before Goten sat up and put a finger on his lips.
"Trunks I think I need to talk first, just listen to me for once without interrupting halfway through, ok?"
Trunks just nods and sits there waiting for Goten to tell him what he needs to know.
Goten begins to speak,” Trunks I need to let you know how I feel about you, when ever I’m around you lately I get butterflies in my stomach, it is harder for me to say normal stuff to you every time I’m around you, I just want to let you know that you are really, really special to me and I never want to lose you."
By now Trunks is holding back what he wants to say to Goten respecting his wish and letting Goten continue.
"I know were only just becoming teenagers, I really think I am drawn towards you in a way that I haven’t in any other way towards any one else."
Trunks has finally had enough, “Goten I feel exactly the same way but I thought that you didn't feel the same way, I want to give you something, but I’m not really sure that you will want it, I really like you Goten, I can't describe it either, when I'm around you I just feel so good, and it just feels so right."
Goten has a expression of shock on his face and says,” how could we have gone so long with out telling each other, I mean if we felt this way, what didn't we just tell each oth--,"was all that he could get out before Trunks comes over and kisses him on the lips for a mere two seconds.
Goten is in a state of disbelife, "Trunks what was that for?"
"It was what I've been wanting to give you."
Related content
Comments: 49

narusakufan12345 [2010-07-18 07:59:29 +0000 UTC]

for a straight dude i say pretty good i stll want to barf! but i like it not love but like

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Allviran [2009-07-04 23:37:37 +0000 UTC]

Awe, this is so cute! I don't really like Trunks x Goten but my friend wants me to at least give it a try. This was the first fan fiction I looked at and I love it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AstronemaTrakeena123 [2007-05-29 16:10:31 +0000 UTC]

Really nice

i like it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ShitoRyu [2006-09-25 14:26:21 +0000 UTC]

Draw it!! You'll do a fantastic episode

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Anime0dreamerX [2006-08-09 15:54:50 +0000 UTC]

o.O this isnt gonna turn into a humongus yaoi fanfic is it. ... lol keep goin. dont let me stop you

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to Anime0dreamerX [2006-08-09 16:00:49 +0000 UTC]

lol sry it is i cant help it!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Anime0dreamerX In reply to CantTakeU [2006-08-09 16:03:21 +0000 UTC]

lol. owell. youre a good writer even though it is a yaoi

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to Anime0dreamerX [2006-08-09 16:05:42 +0000 UTC]

THANK U ALOT!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Anime0dreamerX In reply to CantTakeU [2006-08-10 19:53:15 +0000 UTC]

np ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Serenit-Y [2006-07-16 00:12:30 +0000 UTC]

I didn't really read the story, i imagines it was yaoi, im not a fan. But the pictures are good, the motion well displayed, the colours could use some work, but they fit the scene and the charfacters usual clothing.
Critique: The colouring makes it seem a bit dull, perherps a more lighter mix of colours
Also Gotens legs need some work. Trunks is pretty good.

gj overall, practice still makes perfect.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DeathRetsu [2006-07-07 22:46:59 +0000 UTC]

It's alright. You may want to work on the sentence structure a bit more and work out some typos and spelling and grammar errors. It didn't flow too well because of the awkward grammar in spots. You do set up the ending of this part pretty well though.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Trisha-T [2006-07-07 01:27:55 +0000 UTC]

awww...great ending! how old were you when you wrote this? its really good!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to Trisha-T [2006-07-07 02:32:13 +0000 UTC]

did u read both parts?? all my stuff posted is less than a year old

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Trisha-T In reply to CantTakeU [2006-07-07 02:43:03 +0000 UTC]

o wait... sorry, i think i missed it. ill go back and check...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Ligers-mane [2006-07-06 04:45:31 +0000 UTC]

Umm.... I don't do Yoai... Sorry. The piece itself has 2 typos that I notice, one time you say 'the' when you mean 'he' and the other one you said 'nascence'... what was that supposed to be? Interesting work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

SakuraBaggins [2006-07-06 03:26:51 +0000 UTC]

ok, this is nice because you write in an easy-to-understand fashion. i just think you need to check your spelling on some things, and other errors. just proof read ya kno? ya don't want to b writin lak dis! lolz good luck

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Kel-----Bel [2006-07-06 01:05:04 +0000 UTC]

Ahh DBZ—one of my favorite anime shows of all time! Granted, it has been a while since I’ve seen Goten and Trunks [I’m old ya know, saw DBZ back in the 90’s] but your story brings back the characters nicely.
I think it’s interesting you have these two together, I never really sensed it in the show ever, but, that’s why there is fan fic!
Overall, the writing is good. You were able to keep my interest reading this—not too long to bore me, but not too short. A few writing pointers for the future if you continue doing fan fic:
--You don’t always have to use tag lines at the end of every sentence. Readers can flow a convo pretty well without having, “he said” at the end of every line.
--Try to give movement, placement and feelings before someone is speaking. Example:
Goten sat there in disbelief. His blood went cold as Trunk’s kiss sent chills down his back. “Trunks what was that for?”
Now, I’m not a writing expert, but, these were just a few tips I picked up in journalism school [if ya really want more, I got tons!]
Nice job overall!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to Kel-----Bel [2006-07-06 01:14:08 +0000 UTC]

I would love them you could IM me on MSN or AIM

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Kel-----Bel In reply to CantTakeU [2006-07-06 01:20:46 +0000 UTC]

Okay, I can see if i can wip up a small guide for ya, send me a note with your email address [if that's cool with you] and I'll send ya over something in a word file. I see that you like Painc! therefore, I gotta help ya out here! LOL!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Lizuka [2006-07-06 00:12:10 +0000 UTC]

I'm not a Dragonball fan by any stretch of the imagination, but it was an interesting story nonetheless.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

animechik55 [2006-07-05 23:53:17 +0000 UTC]

hehe intresting.wow never knew they liked it eachother lol.This an excellent well-written story.I like it a lot. hehe i cant get over them liking eachother though lol.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to animechik55 [2006-07-05 23:58:13 +0000 UTC]

Y can't you get over it....I mean if you watch the uncut series its pretty odvious i think

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

animechik55 In reply to CantTakeU [2006-07-06 00:03:27 +0000 UTC]

maybe its cause i never seen the uncut version lol.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

sazukaChan [2006-07-05 23:10:01 +0000 UTC]

Very well done; I like it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to sazukaChan [2006-07-05 23:49:26 +0000 UTC]

Fav part?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Hertterdan [2006-07-05 21:25:55 +0000 UTC]

Humm thats a cool fan fic!!!

About the not-yours-image... I recommend crop it well... and maybe search another not so blurry.... your gallery's gonna love you, its keeps the good presentation.


👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to Hertterdan [2006-07-05 22:04:10 +0000 UTC]

I tryed to fix it look now?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Hertterdan In reply to CantTakeU [2006-07-05 22:05:19 +0000 UTC]

Better!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to Hertterdan [2006-07-05 22:06:00 +0000 UTC]

thx alot

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

isotopez [2006-07-05 19:41:47 +0000 UTC]

not really fond of dragonball z but great work

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

CantTakeU In reply to isotopez [2006-07-05 19:45:54 +0000 UTC]

Its fine..Thx for taking the time to read it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CantTakeU In reply to isotopez [2006-07-05 19:45:27 +0000 UTC]

Its fine..Thx for taking the time to read it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

tootsies [2006-07-05 19:21:56 +0000 UTC]

Aww. Cute..
My Big Brother used to watch Dragon Ball! lol.. when he was a kid though..
How old are you? lol..
hehe..
Well .. great job..
TC.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

GreenDragon737 In reply to tootsies [2006-07-05 19:33:27 +0000 UTC]

Wellll I'm 17... and I still like it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

tootsies In reply to GreenDragon737 [2006-07-05 19:44:11 +0000 UTC]

Aww CUTE!!! lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

GreenDragon737 In reply to tootsies [2006-07-05 19:46:14 +0000 UTC]

tehehe

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CantTakeU In reply to tootsies [2006-07-05 19:30:53 +0000 UTC]

Well I am 14 now....so I guess I still Like the show in the Goten and Trunks sense

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

tootsies In reply to CantTakeU [2006-07-05 19:46:47 +0000 UTC]

Aww.. Lol.. Cutee

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to tootsies [2006-07-05 19:52:48 +0000 UTC]

Heh part 2 is sapoused 2 be very cute

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

tootsies In reply to CantTakeU [2006-07-05 19:56:12 +0000 UTC]

Aww.. Really.. then i cant wait to read it! lol.. ..

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

GreenDragon737 [2006-07-05 19:15:27 +0000 UTC]

Aawwww I really like the ending ^_^

It's very good

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to GreenDragon737 [2006-07-05 19:31:43 +0000 UTC]

Ehhh Im writen more parts I aleady have 3 done

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KanjiOokami [2006-07-05 17:03:03 +0000 UTC]

Like on the first sentence it says, "Why do you always do this to me Trunks," says Goten screaming at the top of his lungs.


You stated to types of ways of Goten saying something, Instead it should be something like,
"Why do you always do this to me Trunks," Goten screamed at the top of his lungs.
That way hes not screaming and saying. But thats my opinion.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to KanjiOokami [2006-07-05 17:16:24 +0000 UTC]

ahh i get it but then to me it doesnt make sense

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KanjiOokami In reply to CantTakeU [2006-07-05 17:21:05 +0000 UTC]

Well then write how you write

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KanjiOokami [2006-07-05 16:46:33 +0000 UTC]

This is really good! Im not a huge Dragonball fan but you can deffinatly draw anime!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KanjiOokami In reply to KanjiOokami [2006-07-05 16:47:40 +0000 UTC]

I didnt see the fanfic part! Sorry! Its really good though, keep writing!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KanjiOokami In reply to KanjiOokami [2006-07-05 16:50:39 +0000 UTC]

You could also use some work on the words `says`. When I read the first part thats all I saw!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CantTakeU In reply to KanjiOokami [2006-07-05 17:00:14 +0000 UTC]

Well what do you mean by that, what should I do?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0