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CaptainOzz — Don't change.
Published: 2008-07-02 20:58:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 1141; Favourites: 26; Downloads: 37
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Description It was over the course of months.
Months and months of shy smiles,
hiding behind hands and various other items.
It was a coffee shop...
No, it was a café, a proper café.
One that seemed to spring up
overnight.
She was sent, he thought, to him
though he didn't know why.
But, every week, on a Wednesday
or a Tuesday, there he'd be.
Waiting for her.
She was a Barista,
she served him coffee,
she had an Italian name -
that he went to great lengths to find out.
Eventually by sneaking a look at the staff rota
and guessing right.

Every Tuesday or Wednesday, he'd be there,
with a book, a pen, the coffee she made (and only the ones she made)
and a red packet of cigarettes, lit with a blue lighter.
They always noticed each other
through the glass windows as he walked in,
over other people's coffee cups as she walked by.

A shy smile, a laugh, a couple of words...
But never more than a couple.

It was always the same,
like a routine,
every week.
The same coffee, the same girl,
the same boy, the same cigarettes,
the same book, the same pen,
the same lighter, the same smile,
the same laugh, the same words.

It was like they were stuck in a loop,
one that didn't end; but they were happy.


It did end, one day.


She looked over to him, something was different,
he lit his cigarette, the same cigarette
with matches this time.
Just... One match from a little black match book.
"ZERO-SEVEN"
Was printed on it,
the match heads were pink.
She was puzzled, curiously so.

She walked over to him and smiled,
pretending that everything was the same.
He smiled too, knowing they weren't.
"How come you're using matches?
Where's your old blue lighter?
Did it finally run out of gas?"
She asked; with a polite laugh.

He shook his head.
"I left it at home,
because today's a different day."

She frowned slightly and tilted her head to one side,
her beautiful short dark hair shivered a little,
he'd never seen that before.
Her olive skin turned up a little
at the corner of her mouth.

"What's so different about today?"
She asked, not hiding her curiosity.

He smiled a sad, lonely smile.
"Today is the day I tell you a secret."

She blinked in surprise,
anxious surprise.
She almost knew what he was going to say.

The girl with the olive skin,
she sat down beside him.
She took his hand, his long fingered hand,
the one she always imagined holding a pen
or a cigarette...
And she waited for him.

The sad, lonely smile remained,
because somehow he knew.
He squeezed her hand gently.
"Today is the day I tell you
that I love you."

She smiled a slow smile.
"I love you too."

He came back the next day,
he stood at the counter,
a girl with freckles and ginger hair served him.
"She's gone."
She said, with a sympathetic smile.

"I know."
He said.
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Comments: 26

delicouslavethe8 [2009-12-03 17:17:36 +0000 UTC]

WOW sun ive been reading your stuff all day today and this has caught me like in a way that i cant even describe like i so want to know where she left too in such a hurry what did you do after her descion like ahhh man i have so many questions

i loved this peice simply because its real its a real life situation with beautiful words and actual real feeling

dude honestly what took you so long to realize that the small things is what makes us happy i mean i guess i cant be like why didnt things just stay the same couldnt you have been content with loving her from a far ( thats the shy part of me talking ) argg im so like wtf mate the other part of me woulda been like dude jump on that ask her on a proper date to the cinema..arrggggg

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zephyr-baby [2008-11-06 23:50:10 +0000 UTC]

Very nice. It flows, and tells a good story. It evokes emotion as well.

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Emocinderella [2008-11-06 16:42:56 +0000 UTC]

Aww...amazing. Fills the readers' minde with questions...but yet cute at the same time..

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murdersdawn [2008-11-04 23:35:42 +0000 UTC]

ah how wonderful, I like it a lot.

it somehow manages to maintain a certain hopefulness while being somewhat tragic

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3-degrees [2008-11-04 04:00:34 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad I read the artist's comment first because I did read it aloud, and you're right: that's exactly how it's meant to be done. Especially the first time. It gave it all the sounds of the shy, stumbly yet sumptuous feeling of flirtacious slow smiles shared with a stranger.

In the third line the words "various other items" don't fit with the mood. Most of the poem is quite detailed and precise, whereas (to me, because this is how I use the phrase) 'various other items' seems offhand; uncaring.

"Her olive skin wrinkled" gives a negative image where the surrounding words all seem positive (wrinkles are bad according to society, afterall).

I like the introduction of the lonely smile. I like the effect of knowing the end--again, especially when read aloud.

And double points for expressing something that really happened to you with such clarity. I like that the ending isn't tragic. It's something beautiful and final and now the moment is framed.

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CaptainOzz In reply to 3-degrees [2008-11-04 20:43:07 +0000 UTC]

I've been through the piece with a fine tooth comb, on your suggestion, I changed a few thing here and there, but I couldn't for the life of me find a decent alternative to "Various other items" that didn't ruin the flow.
Any suggestions?

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3-degrees In reply to CaptainOzz [2008-11-10 03:37:18 +0000 UTC]

OH! I just read it again with a new experience tucked under my belt, (almost the exact scenario you described here actually) so suddenly it reads a little differently. I think you're right: "various other items" keeps the flow. Now i read that line with a shy-laugh and an "onto the important details about her" tone. I guess it helps to know what's coming next.

(Why must they always leave?)

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CaptainOzz In reply to 3-degrees [2008-11-10 18:44:47 +0000 UTC]

Why indeed.
Why must we always fall for the ones who're far from home?

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TheFavoritesProject [2008-11-02 21:13:09 +0000 UTC]

Your poem has been featured! [link]

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spre [2008-07-14 08:36:25 +0000 UTC]

That is absolutely beautiful.

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rider-on-the-storm [2008-07-07 02:51:29 +0000 UTC]

this seemed to have a lot of truth behind it
honesty wearing your soul on your sleeve.

are you still sad?

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CaptainOzz In reply to rider-on-the-storm [2008-07-07 10:24:55 +0000 UTC]

Kinda yes, kinda no, memories never fade away and you know the workings of the heart.

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Uisliu [2008-07-04 02:44:51 +0000 UTC]

Amazing Ozz.
You are a true god with poetry.

So far. out of all your works this is my favorite one of them all.

Good job mate. Keep on scratching on that notepad with that same pen and smoking with those same smokes.

great works Kaksonen

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sharpie-tattoo [2008-07-03 19:49:48 +0000 UTC]

This is amazing. It's so bittersweet. It makes you feel that same loneliness almost. At least you got to tell her your feelings before she left and you know that she felt the same way. Which makes it easier and harder to let her go at the same time. I love it!

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Rushy [2008-07-03 16:27:56 +0000 UTC]

Once again dude, you knock me over with sheer genius! You could see it coming but you still had to keep reading!

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CaptainOzz In reply to Rushy [2008-07-03 16:29:39 +0000 UTC]

That was exactly what I wanted from it, thankyou so much.

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erikalr [2008-07-03 07:04:39 +0000 UTC]

Ozzy..... this is so very good!

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aritical [2008-07-03 04:12:18 +0000 UTC]

My god, Ozz.

You are amazing.

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CaptainOzz In reply to aritical [2008-07-03 11:30:32 +0000 UTC]

Not many times I've actually stuck completely to the facts in poetry.

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whisperinthetrees [2008-07-03 00:51:01 +0000 UTC]

Seriously? Wow...
This is amazing. Bittersweet endings always break my heart.

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CaptainOzz In reply to whisperinthetrees [2008-07-03 11:30:08 +0000 UTC]

And that was just the way it was.

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spiker17 [2008-07-02 22:50:36 +0000 UTC]

Powerful. I read a book once that inspired this same feeling of loneliness paired with contentment.

At least that's what I got from this piece. You're an awesome writer.

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CaptainOzz In reply to spiker17 [2008-07-02 23:23:33 +0000 UTC]

Thankyou, again.
I wish I had more to say, in a reply...
But it's a true story, I don't have the lighter anymore, but I still smoke the same cigarettes.

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spiker17 In reply to CaptainOzz [2008-07-02 23:42:25 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome. Always welcome. (:

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As-Death-Becomes-Her [2008-07-02 21:07:28 +0000 UTC]

I'm speechless.

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abzies [2008-07-02 21:04:12 +0000 UTC]

I really Like it Ozz, It's really good!

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