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Why do you hate me?
I know you do.
It's in your eyes when I enter the room.
It's in your voice when you rarely speak to me.
It's in your expressions when I rarely speak back.
You make me think thoughts I shouldn't think.
I dream of taking a ride to an ocean cliff at night.
Let the morning tide bring me home.
Will you be happy then?
My pale bloated body washed up on some random shore.
Gulls devouring my lifeless eyes.
Crabs inhabiting my gaping mouth.
Fuck you.
I won't give you that satisfaction.
You're not worth it.
Now I stand over you.
You're so unaware.
Unaware what I do at midnight.
While you sleep.
While you have your dreams.
Happy fucking dreams.
I look down at your sleeping body.
The blade feels so natural in my grip.
Perfectly natural.
A feeling like it has always belonged there.
I belong here.
Every night I've stood here.
Staring at you in the darkness.
Caressing the hilt of this knife in my eager hand.
Knowing I can end the pain in seconds.
End your hatred or end my suffering.
Or both.
Yes both.
A murder suicide.
I could plunge this knife into your unsuspecting chest.
Pierce your hateful heart.
Feel your lifeforce spray it's warmth onto my body.
I would laugh.
I laugh now, almost waking you.
You stir in bed as I shrink back into the deepest shadows.
I wait again.
Wait again for another night.