HOME | DD

dishwasher1910 β€” Commission: OCs - #3

Published: 2016-02-12 15:56:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 19905; Favourites: 441; Downloads: 246
Redirect to original
Description done forΒ navigatornavvi.deviantart.com/
Related content
Comments: 22

godcursed [2016-02-13 08:43:08 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact


There are a lot of artistic choices (The faded legs) here and I'm going to ignore them and limit myself to technical only. Starting from the left as Character 1.

1. This character seems to be completing a motion. The ears (?) are moving in one direction and the sash to a different direction. Both feet are planted firmly and the character seems stable. Not sure what's going on with the folds in the clothing so will pass them off as style. There is not a motion that reasonably results in the ears and sash moving the way they do "in combination".

2. The only way to get the pose to this point with the medallion pointing down and hoodie flared is for the character to have dropped directly down. Given the angles of the legs the next second can turn comic or tragic. Please note the reflection of the back foot is slightly higher than the front. This is reasonable given the floor slant and perspective. This note for next character.

3. The tail allows for the otherwise distortions to anatomy the other characters are not showing. The rear leg is considerably back from the front. Given the slant of the floor the bottom of the back leg should be visible "or" the artistic decision to fade the back legs has suggested the leg is further back than it is. Whichever the lack of reflection of the rear leg looks odd. The clothing and chain also suggests this character has just dropped from a height (possible result of a jump) but is not in a stance where the next second would not be entertaining.

3.5 The guitar seems to be in collision with the... axe. This is further confused by the detail at the intersection point under the neck of the guitar. It is confusing and would be better suited to a clear overlap of one set of details obscuring the other.

4. Axe across shoulders is difficult. Try this with a broom stick and look in a mirror. Notice the handle/stick of the axe is resting here not on the very narrow area just barely available for this pose but actually resting on the collar of the shirt.

There are flare points in both corners yet the light source is from hard left. The back leg of character 1 casts no shadow. The back leg of Character 4 does cast a shadow but the front leg does not.
The 4 shadows are significantly different, same light source. Legs on ground. Angle and direction of front legs on characters 2 and 3 are almost identical with different shadows. Given single source and similar diffusion they should all be fading at the same rate, of similar lengths and of similar directions and originate from all legs on the ground. If the artistic decision was to have the faded legs not cast shadows then the shadow on Character 4 needs to be moved.

I would suggest. Remove the corner flares or lessen them. Re-position the two characters with the axe and guitar to resolve any conflict and slightly lower the axe handle off the collar to the shoulder. If you try the broom handle thing you may find positioning the handle to rest on the one shoulder is more natural.

While the characters share similarities they are posed in ways that suggest this is a character sheet of four characters and not a single picture of 4 characters in a moment. If it is a character sheet complete the separation and avoid any overlap. If a single moment have a story in your mind of how these four got to this moment and how their actions lead to a shared event.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

ZoraShah [2016-02-12 18:33:04 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact


Hiya, I understand that is this a commission, so some of the criticisms I made are in light of this e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w… " width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="387" title=" (Wink)"/>

The characters are clearly designed well, lots of unique features, details and weapons. I also like the use of poses and expression in order to give some hints of character. The fanus bou's ears are a bit disjointed for me, so I would say with fanus characters, to be careful of how their features ineract with their hair (also clothes,etc.).

One thing I would like you to consider, with future commissions too, is how the piece works as a whole. Thinking of the show RWBY, there should be some compliment across colours for characters. For instance, Velevet in team CVFY had her battle colour changed from blue to brown to suit the group. It would be something to consider.

Overall, great, can't wait to see more!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Kadrag In reply to ZoraShah [2016-02-13 13:05:35 +0000 UTC]

"One thing I would like you to consider, with future commissions too, is how the piece works as a whole. Thinking of the show RWBY, there should be some compliment across colours for characters. For instance, Velevet in team CVFY had her battle colour changed from blue to brown to suit the group. It would be something to consider."

While I do think that you have a point there. But given it was a comission for OC's it's not dishwashers job to compliment the colors across the team. If the person said "they've got these clothes in that color" then they've got these clothings with that color.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

grim-puppet-demon [2016-10-05 10:43:40 +0000 UTC]

what's their team name?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Keiichi181 [2016-07-15 08:46:27 +0000 UTC]

That axe on the dark blue/black clothes guy. It looks like the axe from the white edition of black rock shooter

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

AceTriad [2016-02-17 01:46:59 +0000 UTC]

Wait. That guy, far rightΒ with the axe. I think I've seen his weapon before:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7odSzd…

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

NavigatorNavvi In reply to AceTriad [2016-02-21 19:45:41 +0000 UTC]

Yep that's the one, the creator gave permission to use it. I just realised I never gave credit so here ya go, the creator is a person named Chris Lee, their YouTube isΒ www.youtube.com/channel/UCUvrn…

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

ACGearmaker [2016-02-13 18:46:46 +0000 UTC]

Nice drawing, but the faded out color with the depth doesn't fit together. They're too close for that.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

ThoughtsandWonders [2016-02-13 07:18:17 +0000 UTC]

The red one looks like a male Ruby

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

psychoman4 [2016-02-13 05:43:03 +0000 UTC]

really love your work. Especially the guitar one, so awesome.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

CommanderFlynn [2016-02-13 01:03:04 +0000 UTC]

Not to self: Jump on the commission bandwagon when they open...

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Oathkeeper0317 In reply to CommanderFlynn [2016-02-13 02:37:12 +0000 UTC]

Good idea.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

SibArtsmen [2016-02-12 21:52:15 +0000 UTC]

Ah hell with it, next time you have commissions open I'm asking you to draw my team.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

AielloA [2016-02-12 21:48:18 +0000 UTC]

I really, really wish I could afford a commission of my OCs. Your work is amazing.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

CrawlerEnder935 [2016-02-12 20:40:27 +0000 UTC]

Amazing work as always!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

gamerguy1313 [2016-02-12 18:32:10 +0000 UTC]

Are these RWBY OCs?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

TheAmericanGamer In reply to gamerguy1313 [2016-02-12 19:02:37 +0000 UTC]

obviously, theyve got the rwby-esc weapons, a team of four, and a faunus on the left

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

gamerguy1313 In reply to TheAmericanGamer [2016-02-12 19:22:25 +0000 UTC]

The third one is also a faunus. My point was that I didn't know if they were made to be RWBY OCs, or if they were just other OCs put into this style.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

warnett [2016-02-12 16:59:01 +0000 UTC]

Awesome!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

JohnnyRoast [2016-02-12 16:13:48 +0000 UTC]

Your artwork continues to astound.Β  I'd request a commission for myself, as I can't draw worth a flip at the moment, but the characters in my head I've been working on for over a year still don't even have a costume design! I've been working to much on their backstory.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

FH47 [2016-02-12 16:05:13 +0000 UTC]

Loving that axe weapon

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

FantasyRebirth96 [2016-02-12 15:57:11 +0000 UTC]

i like the bloo one's attitude XD nicely done on this!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0