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Drastic-Afterthought — disillusioned. by-nc-nd
Published: 2010-10-15 02:53:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 1368; Favourites: 43; Downloads: 6
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Description it's not fair
that he's smiling with
his eyes closed
and his mouth half open
to catch dreams in;
not when she sits there
in the dark and
tries to remember
her name.

and all those candles she lit
blew out in the wind,
and all the dreams she had
got lost in other people's hands.

and she says, "love is
like a staircase,"
but she'll never reach
the top,
just float between
two steps
never resting.

and maybe she could be beautiful
if someone would teach her to
cup both hands
around her dreams
and not let go.
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Comments: 33

roseemory [2014-03-16 01:23:21 +0000 UTC]

i sadly understand this feeling all too well

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PoiSunIV [2013-04-19 23:41:16 +0000 UTC]

I really really admire your writing. I hope I can write just as well as you one day! Thanks for being on Deviant Art, You're have such wonderful works!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CityLightning [2011-06-10 21:31:29 +0000 UTC]

I love the image of the boy at the start. That is truly so, so gorgeous. I love boys who smile with their mouths half open. It's so almost-sinister. xox

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to CityLightning [2011-06-11 17:46:10 +0000 UTC]


i used to like
boys
with half mouth smiles-
not so much now!
thank you!

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mrTLS [2010-11-07 06:47:05 +0000 UTC]

I liked. You're good.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to mrTLS [2010-11-08 01:22:08 +0000 UTC]


thanks!

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pabloalmeidaff9 [2010-10-23 03:42:34 +0000 UTC]

Something happened to me today that made me remind a line from your "Safety Pins", so I came back to check it and found this beauty. Now I'll have to put a watch on you

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Drastic-Afterthought In reply to pabloalmeidaff9 [2010-10-23 13:20:09 +0000 UTC]


thank you darling,
i'm incredibly glad
you enjoyed it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pabloalmeidaff9 In reply to Drastic-Afterthought [2010-10-23 17:45:26 +0000 UTC]

You're totally welcome! ^^

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sour-sherbert [2010-10-20 21:50:25 +0000 UTC]

This is beautiful

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to sour-sherbert [2010-10-22 19:46:20 +0000 UTC]


thank you!

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orangecloudsraining [2010-10-18 03:30:15 +0000 UTC]

oh, i love this. it feels very tender, like a bruise that hasn't quite healed. lovely effect.

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Drastic-Afterthought In reply to orangecloudsraining [2010-10-18 20:11:45 +0000 UTC]


oh lordy.
thank you.
i'm quite glad
you enjoyed it.

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Wynt-rs [2010-10-16 04:21:34 +0000 UTC]

"Wow!" I seriously said that out loud, this was so beautifully sad. The ending was so powerful, the entire piece was amazing. I just fell in love with this writing. Thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to Wynt-rs [2010-10-18 20:11:22 +0000 UTC]



thanks!
i'm so glad you liked it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Wynt-rs In reply to Drastic-Afterthought [2010-10-18 20:13:10 +0000 UTC]

^^ it is my pleasure!

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haloofember [2010-10-16 01:50:42 +0000 UTC]

very beautiful!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to haloofember [2010-10-18 20:11:07 +0000 UTC]


glad you think so.

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DanceBeneathTheStars [2010-10-15 17:58:56 +0000 UTC]

i LOVELOVELOVE this.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to DanceBeneathTheStars [2010-10-15 19:35:51 +0000 UTC]


i LOVELOVELOVE you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

simplysamwise [2010-10-15 16:32:01 +0000 UTC]


This is beautiful and sad.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to simplysamwise [2010-10-15 19:35:34 +0000 UTC]


i'm glad
you liked it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Starry-Owl [2010-10-15 07:13:49 +0000 UTC]

This is amazing,

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to Starry-Owl [2010-10-15 19:35:20 +0000 UTC]


you're amazing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Starry-Owl In reply to Drastic-Afterthought [2010-10-15 20:55:22 +0000 UTC]

Nawwww, shanks,

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londonrey [2010-10-15 04:26:21 +0000 UTC]

i'm really loving the flow of this one, and how the end feels not quite end-like. (:
also the title is gorgeous and it fits just right.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to londonrey [2010-10-15 19:35:11 +0000 UTC]


thank you!
your support means
a lot.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

londonrey In reply to Drastic-Afterthought [2010-10-15 22:14:50 +0000 UTC]

You're so welcome!!

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TheQuibblerGoneMad [2010-10-15 04:03:29 +0000 UTC]


i love this.
i love you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to TheQuibblerGoneMad [2010-10-15 19:34:53 +0000 UTC]


love you more.
thanks dearest.

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TheQuibblerGoneMad In reply to Drastic-Afterthought [2011-06-08 23:48:24 +0000 UTC]

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TeaWithBri [2010-10-15 03:10:11 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drastic-Afterthought In reply to TeaWithBri [2010-10-15 19:34:34 +0000 UTC]


thankyou.

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