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Description
My depression and anxiety reached an apex last week when I had my longest and worst episode since I was 13. I'm 21 now. My episode lasted for 4 days straight, with only about 10 hours of sleep total. I personified that apex in this piece. I had worn my mask of happiness so long that it was literally eating me alive. I have moments of blindness in my breakdowns, but I remember one bit where I was sitting on the bathroom floor telling myself repeatedly "no one knows me." I am totally invisible. Only my doctor, my psychiatrist, and my gender therapist know that I am transgender. My mother knows, but does not really acknowledge it. The bad thing was, I didn't tell anyone how bad this episode got. Finally, I said fuck it, and reached out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. I actually feared that I would hurt myself. DON'T LET THIS BE YOU. Don't do what I did! Don't bottle all of it until it gets so bad that you want to commit suicide! Love yourself and be yourself! Call one of the numbers below or visit their websites for the chat option. The Trevor Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ+ youth in crisis, and has a 24/7 free lifeline. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is also open 24/7 and is free, catering to all people of all ages and backgrounds. Both have online chat options. If you live outside of the US, research to see if there is a number you can call for suicide prevention. If not, call emergency services if you feel you want to harm yourself or are having suicidal thoughts. There is NOTHING wrong with asking for help! DON'T be like me and wait.

Trevor Project Lifeline:

(24/7 Crisis Line): 1-866-488-7386

(Online Chat/Text Message Crisis Line Options): www.thetrevorproject.org/get-h…

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

(24/7 Crisis Line): 1-800-273-8255

(Online Chat Options/Veterans Options/Disaster Options/Spanish Options/Deaf&Hard of Hearing Options): suicidepreventionlifeline.org/…

Description
My depression and anxiety reached an apex last week when I had my longest and worst episode since I was 13. I'm 21 now. My episode lasted for 4 days straight, with only about 10 hours of sleep total. I personified that apex in this piece. I had worn my mask of happiness so long that it was literally eating me alive. I have moments of blindness in my breakdowns, but I remember one bit where I was sitting on the bathroom floor telling myself repeatedly "no one knows me." I am totally invisible. Only my doctor, my psychiatrist, and my gender therapist know that I am transgender. My mother knows, but does not really acknowledge it. The bad thing was, I didn't tell anyone how bad this episode got. Finally, I said fuck it, and reached out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. I actually feared that I would hurt myself. DON'T LET THIS BE YOU. Don't do what I did! Don't bottle all of it until it gets so bad that you want to commit suicide! Love yourself and be yourself! Call one of the numbers below or visit their websites for the chat option. The Trevor Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ+ youth in crisis, and has a 24/7 free lifeline. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is also open 24/7 and is free, catering to all people of all ages and backgrounds. Both have online chat options. If you live outside of the US, research to see if there is a number you can call for suicide prevention. If not, call emergency services if you feel you want to harm yourself or are having suicidal thoughts. There is NOTHING wrong with asking for help! DON'T be like me and wait.

Trevor Project Lifeline:

(24/7 Crisis Line): 1-866-488-7386

(Online Chat/Text Message Crisis Line Options): www.thetrevorproject.org/get-h…

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

(24/7 Crisis Line): 1-800-273-8255

(Online Chat Options/Veterans Options/Disaster Options/Spanish Options/Deaf&Hard of Hearing Options): suicidepreventionlifeline.org/…